by Clare Flynn
She looked up at him. ‘You could lose your job.’
‘He’s bluffing. He’s trying to frighten you into thinking he’ll have me dismissed while saying the same thing to me about you. We’ve done nothing wrong. There’s no law against us walking out together.’
‘He said it’s not appropriate conduct for two members of staff to be affectionate with each other.’
‘As long as nothing happens in school. I’ll act like I don’t know you if that will make you happy. I’ll never utter a word to you within the premises – just as long as we can see each other occasionally outside. We have little enough free time anyway. He can’t object to that, can he? He won’t even find out if we’re careful.’
Eliza looked up at him and smiled and he reached for her hand. This time she let him take it.
They had been attending choir for about three weeks. Passing the park on their walk home one night, Jack pulled Eliza aside under cover of darkness into the recessed park gateway. He pressed her up against the stone pillar and finally kissed her. At first he thought she was angry. She looked startled and pulled away from him and his heart almost stopped beating. He’d messed it up good and proper. But she looked up at him, locked her eyes on his, then with a mumbled, ‘Come here,’ she fastened her lips on his again and kissed him until he thought he’d die for lack of breath and an overdose of happiness.
When the kiss was over, a wave of pure joy washed over Jack and he couldn’t stop himself from jumping in the air and whooping in triumph. In a mixture of wild joy and a desire to impress Eliza, he performed a cartwheel in front of her.
‘Stop that! You crazy man! Someone might see.’ She was laughing. ‘You’ll have to marry me now, Jack Brennan. Now that you’ve kissed me like that. You’re not going to give Father O’Driscoll another excuse to say I’m a girl of easy virtue?’ She smiled and he knew she was teasing him.
‘You know I’ll marry you. I want nothing else. I’m that desperate to have you for mine. To be with you always. To go to sleep with you in my arms.’ The darkness covered his reddening face. ‘Eliza Hewlett, I love the bones of you. I sometimes think I’ll go crazy if I have to live another day without you.’
She gave her little tinkling laugh, that to him always sounded as sweet as birdsong. ‘I love you too. I’m so happy, Jack. I never thought I could be as happy as this.’
He flung himself onto his knees in front of her. ‘Marry me. Marry me now. Let’s get the banns read right away. I’ll go and talk to Father O’Driscoll.’
She laid her hand on his arm and pulled him to his feet, suddenly serious. ‘No, Jack. Don’t be daft. We can’t marry yet. You know that as well as I do. We have to save up first. We have to be patient.’
‘I can’t stand it, Eliza. I have no patience.’
She laughed again, then reached out and stroked his hair. ‘Oh Jack, Jack, you’re a good lad, but a hotheaded one. It’s lucky I’m sensible enough for the two of us. We need to be patient. We have to wait. After all, our whole lives are ahead of us. You’re not yet twenty and I’ve just turned nineteen. We’ve plenty of time. And the longer we wait the sweeter it will be.’
He took her hand and they walked slowly back onto the road towards her lodgings. At the door, he sighed and squeezed her hand one last time. ‘I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to say goodbye to you but will come home after school every night and find you waiting for me. I’ll kiss you so much, girl, you won’t know what’s hit you. Good night, my darling one. Sweet dreams.’
‘Sweet dreams to you too, my sweetheart.’
Jack set off to walk the mile or so to the MacBride house as though he were floating above the roadway. He wanted to cry out at the top of his voice, ‘She loves me! She loves me! She’s going to marry me.’ Part of him wished he could take her back to Derby to show her off to his family. Even his father would surely have been impressed if he’d had the chance to meet her. But his father was dead and his family was also dead to him now. That made him, like her, an orphan. She was the only family to him now. He thanked God and vowed to say the rosary in gratitude to the Blessed Virgin for smiling upon him.
Jack turned the corner to take a short cut down a back alley that led to a lane just behind the MacBride house. It cut a few minutes off the journey, but there were no lamplights. There was no moon tonight either, so he trod carefully, wanting to avoid potholes in the rough unmade surface. After he’d gone a short distance he cursed his stupidity for venturing this way. Half way along the alley he paused, a stab of fear shooting through his body. There was a dark bulky shape against the wall on one side ahead of him, moving back and forth rhythmically and emitting a low grunting noise. Rooted to the spot, Jack waited, then heard another sound, this time higher, lighter, almost a cry of pain; then another long low grunt followed by female laughter. He stepped back and flattened his body against the wall as it dawned on him what was happening. He’d heard those noises before as a small boy when he’d woken with a bad dream in the night and, seeking comfort from his mother, wandered into the darkened kitchen, only to see the silhouette of his father’s body moving up and down on top of her, accompanied by grunting and groaning from the pair of them. He’d crept back to bed and lain there sleepless, terrified and ashamed.
The man pulled away and said something that Jack couldn’t catch. He prayed they’d leave by the other end of the alleyway so they’d not find out he’d witnessed what had happened. He felt disturbed and embarrassed, yet strangely aroused.
To his intense relief, the dark shapes moved away and were swallowed up by the night. He heard their voices fading into the distance. He waited a few minutes and once it was silent, continued on his way. At the end of the alleyway he came upon what he thought at first was a heap of rags on the corner. Moving closer, he heard whimpering and realised it was the woman. He was afraid. She must be a prostitute and he was anxious to avoid having to speak with her, yet as she appeared to be in some distress he could hardly walk by. He reached out a hand to help her to her feet.
‘Get off me,’ she shouted. There was something familiar about the voice.
‘Are you hurt? Were you attacked?’ he asked.
‘Leave me alone, Jack Brennan.’
Mary Ellen MacBride.
‘Mary Ellen. What are you doing out in the streets at night? Who was that man? Let me get you home.’
He reached down to take her arm but she shoved him away.
‘Leave me be. Go away.’
‘No, I won’t. I’m going to get you home so we can tell your father what has happened. He can summon a policeman. It’s not too late to catch that man. Did he hurt you badly? Did he strike you? Did he threaten you?’ He thought of the gang of men he’d met on Clifton Down.
‘You stupid fool. Don’t you dare tell my father. You have to help me get back into the house without him hearing me.’
Jack stood there open-mouthed, disbelieving what she was saying. ‘Who was that man?’
‘He’s my sweetheart.’ She began to wail again.
‘Your sweetheart? Where on earth did you meet him?’
She didn’t reply – just snivelled and sobbed.
‘Does your father know you’ve been seeing a man?’
‘Of course not. Papa doesn’t let me do anything. He wants me to sit around the house all day, sewing. But I won’t. How will I ever find a husband when I’m shut away all day long?’
‘And tonight?’
‘Papa is at a meeting in the city. I slipped out when Nellie wasn’t looking. He gets her to spy on me.’
‘Did you arrange to meet this man?’
‘I saw him from the bedroom window. He was waiting under the streetlamp and I came out to meet him.’
Jack paused, took a deep breath then decided he must go on.
‘What you were doing with him just now – you know that wasn’t right? You know he was doing something an honourable gentleman would never do to a lady?’
She jerked away from him.
‘Once. Why are you asking me this? It’s nothing to do with you.’
‘Have you arranged to meet him again?’
She began to wail, a keening noise, like an unhappy child, deprived of a favourite toy. To all intents and purposes she was a child.
‘What happened, Mary Ellen? Did he hit you? Did he knock you over? Why were you lying on the ground?’
Her voice was nasal, whining. ‘He said he won’t meet me any more. He laughed at me and said I was stupid. Then he pushed me over and ran away.’
Jack looked around them in the gloom. There was no sign of the man. If he was running, he’d be halfway to the Bristol docks by now. Should he tell MacBride what had happened?
‘We need to go home, Mary Ellen. Come on.’ He took her elbow and led her out of the dark alley and onto the road that led to Virginia Lodge.
‘You won’t tell Papa, will you? Please, Jack. He’ll lock me in my bedroom. Please don’t tell.’
He wondered whether he should seek the advice of Sister Callista or ask Eliza what to do. As they walked back to the house he decided discretion was called for. Mary Ellen was vulnerable and over-trusting and he did not want to ruin her reputation.
‘Will you promise me that you’ll never meet anyone like that again? It’s not right to do what you were doing with him. It’s something you only do with your husband once you are married and then only in the privacy of your bedroom. Not up against a wall in a dark alley.’
‘I like what he did to me. It felt nice inside. Like a tickle.’
‘Mary Ellen! Promise me.’
‘All right. I promise.If you promise you won’t tell Papa what you saw.’ Tears gone, her voice took on a wheedling tone. ‘Wouldn’t you like to do that with me some time, Jack? You could come into my bedroom when Papa is out. Or we could ask Papa if we could get married. Then we could do it every night! Have you ever done it before, Jack? I don’t think you have, have you? You’d like it. I promise you. I can show you how. Just like you helping me with my reading.’
Her eyes were staring. He felt a little afraid of her.
‘What do you think?’ she said. ‘Or do you still like that stupid teacher more than me?’
Jack was lost for words. The woman was unbalanced. He felt incapable of comprehending her or what had happened. The happiness of the time he had just spent with Eliza was overshadowed by what he had witnessed with Mary Ellen. He was torn between wanting to protect the evidently vulnerable woman and not wanting to cause trouble for her. He knew Mr MacBride would not take kindly to the idea of his daughter having sexual relations in the street with a stranger.
He unlocked the back door and Mary Ellen followed him into the house, then darted past him and ran straight upstairs. He hung his jacket and cap on a hook in the back corridor and turned to go upstairs himself, when he saw Nellie watching him from the kitchen doorway. Before he could bid her goodnight she’d moved back into the room and shut the door.
Jack stood in the dark hall for a few moments, agonising with his conscience. Should he speak up or keep his word to Mary Ellen? He tried to imagine telling Mr MacBride about what he had witnessed and shuddered at the thought. The man would never believe him. He could scarcely believe it himself. Better to keep his counsel and hope that Mary Ellen had learnt her lesson.
10
Mary Ellen’s Predicament
Jack received a summons during breakfast to go immediately to his landlord’s study. He felt as though history was repeating itself when he entered the room and saw Father O’Driscoll in the armchair and Thomas MacBride behind the desk. Jack stood in front of them and waited to be reprimanded, wondering what unknown transgression he was to be carpeted for this time. It could be nothing to do with Mary Ellen. She had been avoiding him since their encounter in the alleyway several weeks ago and had abandoned their regular reading lessons.
The unknown transgression must have been serious as MacBride looked as though he was ready to disembowel him. He could hardly bring himself to speak. The words he finally spoke were shot at Jack like gunfire.
‘Despicable reprobate! Loathsome creature! I opened my doors to you and welcomed you into my home. You have abused my trust, Brennan.’
Jack stood slack-jawed, not knowing how to respond.
‘I trusted you. I should have realised when I caught you before, that you are a blackguard and a villain. I should have thrown you out on your skinny arse then.’
‘I… I… don’t under…’
‘Vile wretch. Hanging is too good for you.’ MacBride reached for his snuffbox, took a pinch and sneezed.
Jack was bewildered, completely at a loss as to what misdemeanour he might have committed. MacBride’s rage meant it must be extremely serious. He knew he had done nothing to provoke such an outburst, but the anger of his landlord and the presence of the priest filled Jack with fear. His palms were clammy and he felt the sweat break out on his forehead.
Father O’Driscoll took over. ‘You have betrayed the trust of your benefactor, your church and the whole community. You have been entrusted with the education of the boys of this parish when you are not a fit person. What do you have to say for yourself?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Jack wracked his brains. Perhaps he had been seen with Eliza.
‘Father, I intend to marry her, but I need to save up some money first.’
‘Too right you’ll marry her.’ MacBride spluttered. Little drops of spittle sprayed the desk and Jack’s face. ‘And before the month’s out. She’s already far gone. You’ve brought shame on her and this family with your immoral acts. It’s a disgrace. You filthy seducer.’
Jack’s blood froze. Eliza pregnant? How? Who? It wasn’t possible. They had done no more than kiss. What was the priest talking about?.
The priest intervened. ‘Leave this to me, Tom.’ He got out of his chair and grabbed Jack by the collar. ‘You’re a dirty little dog. You’ve taken advantage of a poor afflicted woman. You should be ashamed of yourself. I’d like to beat the hide off you and kick from you here back to wherever you came from.’
Jack pulled away from his grasp and looked between one man and the other. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never taken advantage of Miss Hewlett. I love her and I’d never do anything to bring shame upon her. Someone is making mischief.’
‘Miss Hewlett?’ MacBride’s eyes were bulging and his face was the colour of claret. ‘Who said anything about Miss Hewlett? Or are you telling me you’ve had your way with her as well?’
Jack was caught up in something he could’t understand. It felt as though he and the two men were speaking in different languages. He opened his mouth but couldn’t form any words. Then it dawned on him that they were talking about Mary Ellen. Before he could shape some kind of reply, the priest swung his arm out and caught him a blow across his face that sent him reeling. He stumbled back and banged into the door, catching his hipbone on the handle. O’Driscoll grabbed him and pulled him upright again, shoving him back to stand in front of the desk.
Jack tried to breathe but the room was spinning. At last he spoke, the words, slow and deliberate. ‘I have never laid a finger on Miss MacBride.’
‘You liar. Remember you’re lying to a priest.’ MacBride’s voice was strident.
‘I’m telling you the truth. I’ve never touched her. The only contact we have is when I help her with her reading.’
‘You foul creature. How low have you stooped? Winning over her confidence and trust by offering to help with her reading and writing. An innocent young woman,’ said the priest.
‘She didn’t need any help.’ MacBride slammed his fist on the desk. ‘What does a woman need with book learning? I only agreed to you teaching her when she begged me on her knees. And she only did that because you must have made her feel ashamed about being backward. You exploited her. You did it to gain her trust so you could shame her and bring her low with you
r filthy, venal ways.’
Jack was indignant. He had gone out of his way to help Mary Ellen: he had been kind to her, devoted time to helping her, only for it to be thrown back in his face. How could they possibly think he had seduced her? ‘Sir, I promise you. I swear in the name of God and my own mother, I have never laid a finger on Mary Ellen.’
The priest slapped him across the face again. ‘It’s Miss MacBride to you. At least until after the banns are read.’
Marriage! Were they insane? He felt the metallic taste of blood in his mouth as he bit his lip. ‘I can’t marry her. I can’t.’ Jack raised his eyes to the ceiling in supplication of heaven. ‘It’s all wrong. I love Miss Hewlett. I have never made any advances to Miss MacBride.’
‘Oh no? Then how come she is in the family way then?’
Jack’s stomach lurched and he thought he was going to be sick.
‘Six months gone, according to Doctor Morrison,’ said MacBride. ‘She says you forced her.’
Jack’s stomach lurched. ‘I swear to God I never touched her.’
He felt the blow land on his head again as Father O’Driscoll swung at him. ‘Don’t you dare take the Lord’s name in vain and blaspheme him with your filthy lies.’
The panic was overwhelming Jack. He couldn’t breathe. Make it stop. Make them understand. Wrong, wrong, wrong. ‘It wasn’t me. Ask her. She’ll tell you. I tried to help her.’
‘We have asked her and she told us exactly what happened. That you promised to marry her if she let you have your way with her. You know the girl is backward. You exploited her ignorance.’
Jack couldn’t believe what he was hearing. After all he had done for Mary Ellen. Why had she lied about him? ‘Why would I do that?’
‘Because you are filled with carnal lust. Because you are a contemptible, dirty-minded scoundrel. Because you are the lowest of the low. Shame on you.’
‘It’s a lie. I didn’t do it.’ Rising panic. Taste of bile. Sweat pouring into his eyes. Make them stop. Make them believe. Tell them about the man in the alley. No don’t. They won’t believe it. It will make things worse. Trapped, cornered, outmanoeuvred. No choices. No way out. Say something. ‘Someone else has done this to her. I don’t know why she told you it was I.’