Annabelle gave an apologetic shrug, and Peggy pointed a finger in her face. “Child, you is got to quit with that lying tongue and all these here secrets. Why you keep stuff from me? Ain’t I always been here for you? Have I ever done anythin’ but help you?”
Tears welled in Peggy’s eyes and she quickly blinked them away, but not before the sight of them skewered Annabelle’s heart. She pulled the woman into a tight embrace, and tears of her own trailed down her cheeks. “Oh, Peggy. I am so sorry!”
Peggy patted her back. “You ain’t alone in this world. Why is you tryin’ so hard to act like it?”
Annabelle sniffled and pulled away, wrapping her arms around herself. Peggy let her go, and Annabelle stepped over to the window. A set of bluebirds chased one another through the branches. “I don’t know,” she mused, releasing her bun and running her fingers through the tangled mess she had pulled up onto her head this morning without combing.
Peggy let her be, and she sifted through her mix of emotions. “I suppose,” she said finally, when most of the tangles were free, “I have been trying so hard to be in control. To do whatever I must to prove that I am strong and that I’m worth something.” Her voice cracked at the end, and more tears clouded her vision.
“Oh, my sweet girl,” Peggy said, rushing to her side and taking Annabelle’s cheeks in her hands. “Who is you tryin’ to prove that to? You is worth the whole world to me, and you know that the good Lawd hisself done give all for you. You’s worth everything, child, and don’t you let the words of foolish men ever make you believe no different.”
Annabelle clutched the cloth at her neck. “But I have failed so many times,” she said softly. “I was never a stately enough daughter, nor a good enough nurse. Gracious, I wasn’t even smart enough to deliver a simple note or get a message out to my uncle without being caught and thought a spy! How witless do I have to be for that?”
Peggy said nothing, her deep brown eyes full of sympathy as Annabelle let forth emotions she had tried desperately to keep in check. Her cheeks heated and she pulled off her shawl, flinging it across the room. “I have been nothing but a burden. The one thing of any importance I’d thought I’d had accomplished, saving Lincoln, turns out to be nothing more than a delay in their plans!”
Peggy arched her brows. “But it was still you that stopped them, and you that found Mr. Daniels.”
Annabelle ignored her. The dam that had held her churning emotions had cracked, and now everything burst through her defenses like a freed river. “And what do I have to show for everything I tried to do? A lost home. Poverty.” She waved her hands. “And nothing but utter rejection from the man I love!”
As soon as the words fled her lips, Annabelle snapped her mouth closed and looked at Peggy with wide eyes. The older woman crossed her arms. “You ’bout done with that fit, Miss Belle?”
She deflated, dropping her chin and rubbing at her throbbing temples. “Yes.”
“Good. Now, you look a’here.” She waited a moment, but when Annabelle did not raise her gaze from the floor she stomped over and placed a finger under her chin, forcing Annabelle to look up into her eyes. “That’s enough of that. I know you’s got a ripe amount of hurt. Lawd knows what you’ve been through. But child, you is lookin’ at this all wrong.”
Annabelle looked into Peggy’s gaze, finding there all the love and acceptance she’d been looking for everywhere else. Why had she taken it for granted?
“I reckon I just look at things a might different,” Peggy continued. “See, I watched a young woman survive the loss of both her parents, save the lives of countless soldiers no matter what color they wore, serve and care for her elder and give him the respect he by no means deserved, and even stood up to him when the coward turned to strikin’ a lady. I saw that young woman brave the dangers of traveling, escaping false accusations against her. She don’t let no man bully her. And after all of that, she even found a way to save the liberator hissself.” Peggy gave a small shake of her head. “No, ma’am. Ain’t no bigger hero I’s ever seen than that.”
Tears welled anew and Annabelle wiped the moisture from her eyes. “Oh, Peggy. I do love you so.” She patted Peggy’s arm. “But don’t you see that you only look at me that way because you’re like a mother to me? A momma will always see her child in the best light.”
Peggy shook her head, sadness in her eyes. “Oh, sweet girl. I’s glad you still think so, but Miss Belle, that just ain’t true. There’s many a momma out there that don’t see they girls as a treasure. Believe me on that.” Peggy took the hem of her long apron and dabbed at Annabelle’s cheeks. “There now,” she said with a gentle smile. “Beautiful as ever.”
“Just not enough for Matthew,” she mumbled.
Peggy swatted at her. “Hush now, girl! I done watched two stubborn folks dance around the fact that they loves each other long enough.”
Annabelle was about to protest, but Peggy held up her finger. “Oh, no you don’t. No more of this here self-pity.” Annabelle gaped at her, but Peggy seemed unaffected and continued talking. “You is a beautiful, strong, and smart woman. Don’t you go lettin’ that nasty old grandfather of yours make you believe no different. And not another word about the fact that that man don’t want you.”
Annabelle blinked at her in surprise.
Peggy brushed her hands together as though she were dusting off flour after kneading dough. “Now, then. We is done with this here foolishness.” She eyed Annabelle.
Annabelle could only gulp, dumbfounded.
“I tried to go about it easy like, but baby girl, you was in need of some plain talk. You got walls bigger than Elmira ’round your heart, and I can’t say as I blame you. But you is as stubborn as an ornery mule, and you is lettin’ them walls turn you bitter. I ain’t goin’ to stand by and watch it no more. You is goin’ to quit all this lying and deceitfulness, and you is goin’ to start bein’ honest.” She pointed a finger at Annabelle. “And you is going to start lettin’ folks help you. You hear me?”
Annabelle’s mouth fell agape. When she could find her voice again, it came out in a squeak. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. So no more sneakin’ around, and no more puttin’ youself down.”
Annabelle wrapped her arms around herself. “Yes, ma’am.”
Peggy’s eyes softened. “I know’s you love that Captain. Done seen it for some time.”
This time, Annabelle didn’t even try to argue. What more could be said? She’d already given her word to speak truth. Not that it was needed, since she’d already spouted off.
Peggy tugged on imagined wrinkles in the bedclothes she’d already straightened. “They’s some things that just can’t be hid. Didn’t need you to finally admit what I already knew to be true. Miss Belle, if he be the man the Lawd done set aside for you, then you say your prayers and see what happens.”
Annabelle drew her lip through her teeth, any retort she could think of dying on her tongue.
“And Miss Belle?”
There’s more? “Yes?”
“I know your heart ain’t for the other Mr. Daniels.”
Annabelle sighed. Obviously. Why say it?
“So, don’t you let no foolish pride make you marry him for that house. That was your daddy’s land, and I knows you loved him right fierce, but it ain’t worth you livin’ out your days in misery to keep it.”
Fresh tears stung again, and Peggy swept her up in a tight hug. “I’s sorry I done gone and had to be so blunt about it, but it’s right time you heard these things.”
Annabelle clenched Peggy tight. “I….” She drew a steadying breath. “Thank you, Peggy.”
Peggy pulled back and patted her shoulder. “Ain’t nothin’. Now you start holdin’ that pretty chin of yours up and take some lessons from that grandma you got. That there is a lady who knows how to command the respect that’s her due.”
Peggy was certainly right about that. Annabelle couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up inside her. “She is s
omething.”
“Yes, ma’am. That she sure is.” Peggy laughed and the tension seemed to fall off Annabelle like a mighty weight.
It was time she started making some changes, and the first of those was to start with being honest. She looked at Peggy and drew strength from the quiet dignity that no one had been able to strip from a woman who, at least by the world’s standards, stood at the very bottom of society. Despite whatever people had flung at her, Peggy kept her back strong and her heart soft, and, to Annabelle, there was no one in the world more regal.
“There was no option in the matter, therefore I had to go with Mrs. S on to Richmond. What a condition that city is in! Everything so high that rich men become poor, and those not so well off are starving.”
John Surratt
As she sat at the table for noon meal, Annabelle’s stomach began to churn. Had it only been a few hours ago when she’d promised Peggy to be more forthcoming? Though the idea terrified her, it also lessened the burdens on her heart. She’d prayed for forgiveness and found it to be a balm upon raw wounds. But now the old doubts already began to return. She tried to force them away and keep a tight hold on the peace she’d so recently found.
Peggy and Lilly entered through the rear door with trays heaped with various foods, and little Frankie tottered in on his mother’s heels. He went straight to Grandmother, who cooed and played with the curls on his head. Annabelle watched the two as Peggy and Lilly placed the food along the center of the wide table.
Frankie had soft, dark curls and his mother’s expressive eyes. Whereas Lilly’s skin had a golden glow, Frankie’s was a warm, deep olive, and reminded Annabelle of the Spanish gentleman she’d once met. The baby babbled to Grandmother, who seemed to understand his words. After a moment, Frankie spotted George. His little face lit up, and he waddled out of Grandmother’s reach and around behind Annabelle, arms outstretched to George.
George, looking every bit as pleased as the boy, grinned as he scooted his chair back from the table. “Hello there, young man!” He patted his knee. “Come sit with me.”
Lilly gave a small cry, and Annabelle looked up at her as she nearly dropped her bowl of potatoes on the table. “No, no, baby!” Lilly exclaimed. “You need to leave the gentleman alone.” In an instant, she was around the other side of the table and scooping Frankie up in her arms.
Frankie wailed and began to thrash, but Lilly held firm. Annabelle looked at George out of the corner of her eye and saw the disappointment and longing clearly written on his face.
Annabelle cast a furtive look at Grandmother and saw her elder narrow keen eyes on George. Her brows furrowed, and then she glanced toward Annabelle. When their eyes met, Grandmother seemed uncomfortable and quickly looked away.
Lilly began bouncing Frankie on her hip, stroking his hair. After a moment, his thumb went in his mouth and his cries settled into whimpers, though he still seemed rather unhappy.
Grandmother smacked her hands together, drawing everyone’s attention back to her. “As soon as the other Mr. Daniels joins us, we shall begin our meal,” she said.
George picked up his fork and laughed, though it sounded forced. “Well, he best hurry, because I’m nigh on starving!”
Annabelle smoothed her napkin in her lap and kept her eyes down.
“Did you tell your brother the meal was ready?” Grandmother asked George.
“No, ma’am. I haven’t seen him all morning. I suspect he went riding again.” He shrugged. “I expected him back by now.”
Annabelle gripped the soft linen napkin and studied the twisting ivy pattern dancing along the edge of her plate.
Frankie wailed again, and Lilly sent Grandmother a part pleading, part didn’t-I-say-so glare. Grandmother smiled sweetly at the boy. “Go ahead and let the baby eat, Lilly Rose. There’s no reason the little fellow needs to wait.”
Lilly seemed relieved and held Frankie on her hip as she placed little piles of vegetables on his plate. They didn’t have a child’s chair, but someone had fashioned a small seat on a bit of a raised platform that Lilly had placed into the chair next to her. She settled Frankie on it, and the boy snatched the morsels up with chubby fingers, stuffing them into his mouth.
With the added height, he could easily reach the table, and with him now quiet, Lilly seemed to relax. Peggy, ever a mother hen, set to fussing over him from her place on the other side of his chair, and the little one seemed to be the only person at the table pleasantly content.
After she dabbed the boy’s mouth with a napkin, which he swatted away, Peggy cleared her throat. Her eyes found Annabelle’s, and she lifted her brows. Annabelle bit her lip and looked back down, knowing exactly what Peggy wanted. Well, she had no desire to air out everything here at the table. She’d agreed to talk truth with Grandmother, but needn’t do it with an audience.
“Miss Belle has somethin’ to say,” Peggy blurted.
All eyes turned to Annabelle, and she could feel her teeth clenching so hard her jaws began to hurt.
“Annabelle, what is going on?” Grandmother asked.
Annabelle focused on unclenching her jaw and breathed deeply to try to release some of the tension from her neck. “Matthew is not coming to the table. He left this morning for Washington.”
“What?” George exclaimed.
Annabelle kept her attention on Grandmother. “I’m afraid he had some… urgent business to attend to, and needed to leave right away.”
“Without telling anyone?” Grandmother asked, frowning deeply.
Annabelle resisted the urge to squirm under Grandmother’s heavy gaze. “Yes, I’m afraid so.”
“That hair brained fool!” George spat, wadding his napkin and tossing it on the table. Annabelle looked at him in surprise. She had not yet seen George display the temper that Matthew often struggled against. “This has something to do with those abductors, doesn’t it?”
Annabelle gulped. How much did George know?
“Abduction?” Grandmother asked, her frame growing rigid. “What in heaven’s name is going on?” Grandmother’s brows pulled so low they formed a V on her forehead.
Annabelle looked at Peggy, but the woman showed no remorse for the stir she’d caused. She simply gestured for Annabelle to continue.
George leaned forward in his chair, his features firm. “They were involved with some group that had plans to cart off Lincoln,” he said, the tension in his voice nearly palatable. He cut his eyes at Annabelle. “But Miss Ross can better explain.”
Annabelle gave him an annoyed glance before pointedly turning away from him. “Grandmother, I intended to speak with you on this matter after the meal.” She shot a quick glance at Peggy. “In private.”
Grandmother gave an unladylike snort. “Nonsense. We are all family here.” She eyed George, “At least, close enough to count. I don’t see any reason this needs to be told in private.”
Annabelle looked at Peggy again, but the woman offered no more words. Her nod of encouragement was enough, however, and Annabelle sighed. “Very well. But at least fix your plates. It is a long tale, and I fear by the time I’ve finished, all the food will have gone cold.”
They passed the bowls around and Annabelle tried to organize her thoughts as she scooped small portions of cabbage, carrots, and stewed beef onto her plate. She shifted through each part of the last weeks of her life and tried to pick out which portions would be best to share and how to put them into the best light.
An unwelcomed tightness constricted her chest, and she struggled to breathe. No! She would weave webs of falsehood no longer, neither would she scuttle around the truth. She would give the tale, including all her failures and shortcomings, in its entirety. She met each set of eyes around the table, save the baby, and found no judgment, only curiosity. Feeling resolved, she began her story.
“About seven weeks ago, I found a coded message on a dead soldier….”
For the next half hour, Annabelle offered her tale, leaving nothing out and laying bare al
l she’d done. There were times they shook their heads in dismay and other times they stared at her with mouths agape and wide eyes, but she let nothing sway her from the letting of truth. Much as a doctor let fevered blood out of the body, she hoped the release would bring healing.
When she finally finished, ending with how Matthew had found Harry following them and how she’d discovered him in the potato shed, everything fell silent. They had forgotten their meals during the telling, and all stared at her with wide eyes.
Frankie wailed, flinging his arms and knocking over his glass of milk, breaking the silence. Lilly jumped to her feet. “Oh!” she began wiping the dripping liquid, trying to keep it from ruining the rug. Peggy moved to help as Frankie continued to cry, his voice elevating to a screech.
George pushed away from the table and had the child in his arms before Grandmother could even rise from her chair. He swung the boy up high and tossed him in the air. Frankie’s cries immediately turned to giggles, and after two more tosses, he was laughing heartily. Lilly came to stand by George’s side, wringing her hands and watching him intently.
“Here, now,” George said as he held the boy out. “I think he’s all better.”
Frankie reached for his momma, and Lilly plucked him from George’s arms, squeezing him tight. She looked at George curiously, then turned away. “He needs his rest. I’m going to take him up for a nap.”
Lilly tucked Frankie’s head under her chin and hurried from the room. George sighed and stepped over to the doors Lilly had left agape, pulling them closed. When he turned back around, his familiar, easy smile graced his face.
When he regained his seat and Peggy had wiped up the last drop of milk, Grandmother placed her elbows on the table and steepled her fingers. “Back to our discussion. What does that boy plan on doing once he gets the other man back to Washington?”
Annabelle tucked a loose curl behind her ear. “I wish I knew. He did not share much.”
Grandmother seemed displeased by her answer, though it was the only one she could give. After a moment of thought, however, she relaxed and gave Annabelle a placating smile. “Well, I am certain once he goes to the law, all will be made right.”
The Liberator Series Box Set: Christian Historical Civil War Novels Page 48