“Come on, I need some air,” the younger girl said, pulling impatiently until Jasmine followed. But she looked back quickly, an apology in her eyes as Paolo was swallowed up by the crowd.
They stepped out into a small courtyard. It was fenced in and mostly made of brick and wrought iron with a few tables scattered around, probably used for outdoor eating during the day. Jasmine breathed the fresh air deeply in through her nose and sat on one of the tables, letting her feet dangle. Natalie stood a few feet away, looking up at the London night.
“It was insane in there,” Natalie said, moving closer.
“It was definitely hot,” Jasmine agreed, though she really wasn’t talking about the temperature.
“I’m sorry I let Teddy steal me away. He can really dance though!”
“It’s fine, I…” Jasmine trailed off, about to say that she considered Teddy nothing more than a friend, totally fair game and that she was really happy dancing with Paolo. She preferred the simplicity of his interest to the set of baggage that came along with Teddy. But instead, Natalie cut off what would have been an impressive ramble with a short but shocking as all hell kiss to her lips. Her mouth had been open just slightly so she could speak, but apparently, Natalie took that as an invitation to slip her tongue along Jasmine’s bottom lip and then briefly into her mouth before pulling away.
The shock passing quickly, Jasmine shook her head and jumped off the table, putting some suddenly much-needed space between them. “What the hell was that?”
“A kiss,” Natalie said, “Are you okay?”
“Um, no, I don’t—why did you—I don’t like girls. One hundred percent straight girl over here.”
Natalie wrinkled her nose. “Are you sure? I’m usually pretty good at picking up the vibes. You were so friendly and sweet and then you played it so cool and that was super sexy. Then you asked me to this party tonight as your plus one. I mean I just assumed, I guess, but this isn’t a date?”
Jasmine tried to push her mind past the idea that Natalie thought she was gay and tried to piece together the clues from the other girl’s perspective. It all clicked into place easily enough and she groaned. “I’m sorry, this is totally my fault. I didn’t realize how it would look if you were looking for…well I mean…I didn’t know that you were…and I can see how you’d think…I swear I would have been more clear if I’d known you were…”
“A lesbian,” Natalie finished for her, cutting off her stuttering. “I don’t really go shouting it from the rooftops, some people are still weird about it, but yeah, I am.”
“I’m not.”
Natalie laughed and nodded. “Yeah, that’s pretty clear now.”
“I mean, if I were, you’d probably be my type, but I’m not, and I don’t want you to think…”
“Jasmine, It’s fine. I mean, we’re cool right? No weirdness?”
“No, we’re fine. I mean, it was a little weird and I’m kind of flattered and oh God, Teddy’s going to be so disappointed.”
“I did notice that he was a little…interested?”
“Yeah, I think so…maybe.”
Natalie sighed. “And to think, a few minutes ago I felt sorry for him thinking he’d realize you were into girls.”
Jasmine didn’t quite understand what she meant, but she shrugged. “Look, this doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the party, right? We can go dance some more.”
“I’m putting up a good front right now, but I’m actually kind of mortified and I think I’m just going to head back to the hotel.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Have Dom call my dad okay? They can schedule some doubles training time before the tournament starts.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Natalie disappeared inside, but Jasmine stayed where she was. The day just kept getting more and more surreal. She just needed to be by herself for a few minutes before facing the pulsing beat of the music and the intensity of Paolo’s attention. Maybe it had all been too much for one day. Maybe it was just time to call it a night.
She made her way back inside and almost immediately Paolo found her. “You disappeared,” he said, frowning, not looking put out, but definitely confused.
“I think…I think I just want to get out of here, if that’s okay?”
He nodded. “Of course, I’ll get a car to take us.”
Jasmine felt her heart skip a beat in panic. Did he think that she was trying to pick up right where they left off? That she was asking him to leave with her? “Oh, no, you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”
He must have heard the anxiety in her voice, in the raise in pitch, in the speed of her words. “Jasmine, relax. I want to go as well. I’ve had enough of this party and we are going to the same place, no?” He nodded his head to a man standing at the door and guided her toward the exit with a hand at her back.
“Hey guys,” Teddy said from just behind them, jogging to catch up. “Mind if I catch a ride back with you?”
Paolo looked to Jasmine, but she just shrugged and got in the taxi the valet had hailed for them. Paolo followed and then finally Teddy piled in behind them. Shifting beside her to make room, Paolo raised his arm and let it hang around her, his hand falling against shoulder.
The ride was silent, but clearly somewhere during the trip Teddy had come to the conclusion that they hadn’t just been leaving at the same time, but that they’d been leaving together. His arms were crossed over his chest and every thirty seconds or so he’d try to look past Paolo and catch Jasmine’s eye. She sat further back in the seat, avoiding his gaze, but bumping Paolo’s chest accidentally. “Sorry,” she whispered, not really feeling sorry for the unexpected contact.
“It is okay,” he said, but his hand released her shoulder and grasped the seatback instead.
The driver came to a halt at Alex’s house and Paolo reached forward to pay at the same time as Teddy.
“I’ve got it, man,” Teddy said, “I butted in on the ride. Only fair I pay.”
Paolo shrugged and pocketed the money as Teddy paid the driver. Jasmine got out on the street, ready to just call it a night, but Teddy intercepted her before she could reach the gate.
“Can we talk for a second?” he asked. Paolo raised an eyebrow at her and she nodded. With a shrug he retreated into the house and the car pulled away, leaving them alone on the street.
“You like that guy?” Teddy asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels.
“Yeah, I think I do.”
“I don’t like him.”
“I don’t care if you don’t like him, Ted. It’s none of your business who I like.”
“Yeah it is. I’m your friend.”
“Are you? Because from where I’m standing, it doesn’t really seem like it. You totally checked out on me as soon as Amy showed up and in case you missed it, I’ve been going through a ton of shit since then and you’ve been completely MIA for all of it.”
“You seem like you’re doing just fine.”
“Yeah, well, I’m tougher than I look.”
“I’m starting to see that.”
“Good.”
“So…”
“So, I’m going to bed.”
“Whose bed?”
Jasmine swallowed back a shriek of frustration. She was going to her own bed to curl up and fall asleep, but that wasn’t the point. “None of your business,” she gritted out from between her teeth.
“Jas, guys like that….”
“Guys like what? Guys who are interested in me, Ted? Guys who don’t just like me as a friend? Guys who might want me? I said it’s none of your business. You’re my friend. You’re not my brother or my boyfriend, you don’t get a say.”
“What if I want a say?” he asked, stepping a little closer.
She stepped back, keeping the distance between them. “It’s too late for that.”
“Since when?”
“Since you decided it would be a good idea to sleep with A
my again. Since you asked Indy to keep it from me. Since you told me we were better off as friends. You can’t have it both ways, Teddy. It’s not fair.”
“I didn’t know she told you. You didn’t say anything.”
“What was I supposed to say? That you’re an idiot for going back to her? You are, but it’s not any of my business, right? I’m not your girlfriend. I’m your friend. You’ve made that perfectly clear, so me and Paolo, whatever we are, that’s none of your business either.”
“Jas,” he said, running a hand over the back of his neck and focusing his eyes down at the concrete sidewalk. “You’re right.”
"I am?"
“You are. You’re right. I can’t just…I’m sorry.”
An apology. That was something, at least. “Okay,” she said and moved toward the front gate. He didn’t follow. “Are you coming inside?”
“No, I’m going to take a walk around the block. Clear my head.”
“Oh, okay. Good night, Ted.”
“Good night, Jas.”
He spun on his heel and headed down the curving street, hands shoved in his pockets again and Jasmine couldn’t help but feel like that good night had felt an awful lot like a goodbye.
Chapter 15
June 24th
“I have a match this afternoon. This is a really, really bad idea,” Penny managed to say between gasps for breath as Alex dragged his tongue along the line of her neck, his hands gripping each thigh, holding them firmly around his waist. She’d fallen back against the pillows, completely spent just seconds before, her body singing notes that would make Mariah Carey jealous.
“Yeah, you said earlier,” Alex murmured against her neck, his body shuddering against hers and then finally falling a little, catching himself on his elbows above her, their skin, slick with sweat sticking together.
She ran a fingertip down his back and he shifted to the side, falling back onto the mattress, dragging her with him as he went.
“Sorry Dom, I faded in the 3rd set because Alex couldn’t keep his hands off me.”
He snorted and kissed the top of her head. “Sorry Dom, Alex is a sexy beast. I couldn’t help myself this morning. Either time.” She laughed and pressed a kiss to the nearest skin she could find, his collarbone. “You feel better now?” he asked, wrapping his arm more tightly around her waist, adjusting his bicep under her head.
“There wasn’t anything wrong.”
“Try again, Penelope,” he said, swatting her backside lightly.
“Mmm,” she hummed, “okay, maybe I’ve never…I haven’t….” She sighed, trying to put into words what she was feeling. “Even though we’re fighting or whatever, Indy’s my friend.”
“She is,” Alex agreed.
“I’ve never played a friend in a match this important before. In fact, I’ve never played a match against a friend, ever.”
“You been holding this in since you found out?”
Penny shrugged. “Maybe.” It wasn’t that she was afraid of Indy on the court. Practice had been going well and her reactions were much better than the day they’d practiced together, but still, something was niggling away at her, something she’d never felt before going into a match.
“Does it help that you’re hacked off at her?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know, maybe? Is that bad?”
“You don’t have a bad bone in your body, love. Not one.”
“You’re biased,” she said. “Very biased.”
“I thought it before any of this. Everyone knows it.”
“Fine, we’ll debate that another time. How do you do it then?”
“What? Play against your friends?”
“No. Win against your friends.”
“Simple. You want to win. So does she. Go out and play your hardest. Don’t disrespect her and your friendship by allowing it to get in the way of what you both want. You really never played against any of your friends when you were little?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t really have a lot of time for friends until recently and now…”
“And now you have one and she lied to you.” She nodded against his chest. “People let you down quite a lot, don’t they?”
“I think I expect too much.”
“You don’t,” he said, forcefully, his hand gripping her hip a little bit tighter. “You don’t expect too much, not from your brother, not from Indy and certainly not from me. No argument, okay?”
She wanted to argue and she wanted to know why he felt this way about her, why he’d put her up on such a high pedestal, but his voice was so fierce and so fragile at the same time, she couldn’t do anything except say, “Okay.”
“Good, now come on,” he said, “up you get. You’ve got a match this afternoon.” He released her and she rolled away, scooting off the bed, not bothering to grab a sheet to cover up as she walked toward the en suite bathroom. She could feel his eyes following her as she walked away, so she stopped at the door and glanced back over her shoulder.
“Coming?” she asked and then kept walking, knowing in a moment she’d heard the creak of the bed springs as he got up to join her.
~
Penny sat on the trainer’s table and checked her rackets, running her fingers slowly over the strings of each one before placing them in her bag, white with a gold, glittery Nike swoosh across the side. Her outfit matched, a white fitted tank and a traditional white pleated tennis skirt, both with the same gold, glittery Nike swoosh logo. Wimbledon’s dress regulation of white only on the court fit well with her own personal preferences.
“Are you sure about this?” Dom asked from across the trainers’ room.
“Your ankle really feels okay?” Jack asked anxiously.
She looked back and forth between both of them and then let her eyes slide over their heads to where Alex was leaning against the wall in the far corner, arms crossed over his chest, mouth firmly shut.
“Why don’t you guys go check on Indy?” she suggested, deliberately not answering either of them. It had nothing to do with her ankle, they were just stressing out. “If I know her, she’s freaking out right about now and could use a little of your support.”
Dom rolled his eyes, but nodded and patted her on the shoulder as he walked by. Jack didn’t move.
“You sure?” he mumbled. Now it had nothing to do with her ankle. She could see the battle raging across his face, a war between being there for his littler sister and checking on his girlfriend.
“Bro, go see her before she throws up on her new white dress.”
Jack exhaled sharply through his nose and nodded. “See you after, Pen.”
The door clicked shut behind him and Alex finally pushed off the wall, moving straight for her. “I won’t ask how your ankle feels and I won’t ask if you’re sure you want to play. I know you and it’s not in you to withdraw. So I’m just going to say good luck.”
Penny reached out and took his hands in hers. “Thank you.”
He lifted one hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, then stepped away, leaving the room without a backward glance. She knew he was heading for the stands on Court 1, the second largest court on the grounds. She’d only have a few more minutes to wait before they’d be ready to march out for the match.
Just to be sure, she rotated her ankle and didn’t feel anything then she twisted it in the other direction and again, nothing. With no pain to worry about, at least not yet, she let her mind drift to her practice session with Indy just a few days ago, before she found out what her friend and her brother had been keeping from her. Indy’s serve had been particularly good that day, but there’d been no pressure, no urgency for the inexperienced player. They’d just been out there having fun and getting their work in.
Today would be a different story entirely. She didn’t expect Indy to revert completely back to the bundle of nerves she’d been on the court when she first arrived at OBX, but first round at Wimbledon would definitely unnerve her. Beyond that though, Penny knew she hadn’t be
en at her sharpest that day. A few practice sessions with Alex between then and now had gotten her to where she wanted to be for the match. It was possible, just based on that last training session that Indy would be a little over-confident. The mental game was important, especially at this level when physical skills were so often equal.
A knock at the door drew her from her thoughts. “Miss Harrison,” a court attendant called, “we’re ready for you.”
Slinging her racket bag over her shoulder and adjusting her ponytail, she slipped through the door, nodding to the attendant, a heavy-set, red-headed woman in an official Wimbledon blazer who smiled and said, “This way, please.”
She followed her down the long corridor and then briefly out onto the grounds where a security official joined them for the walk to Court 1. The crowd meandering down the paths toward the courts parted for them, some fans wishing her luck as she went by. Penny caught a glimpse of Indy’s long blonde ponytail up ahead of her as she followed her own security guard onto their court.
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” an announcer called to the fans already at the court. “Miss Indiana Gaffney, a tournament wildcard and Miss Penelope Harrison, our number four seed, both ladies of the United States of America.”
The crowd hadn’t fully arrived yet and those who were there hadn’t completely settled into their seats, but Penny ignored them. She might have some fans cheering for her because of her connection to Alex and what happened in France, but most tennis fans, especially in the early rounds of a tournament, wanted one thing, a long match and the underdog coming out on top. She couldn’t rely on fan support. She needed to just go out and play her best. It was time to focus.
Losing at Love Page 14