“No! We need to go.”
The door to the kitchen opened, and a waiter came out. I pressed myself against the wall, hoping it might camouflage me. Hunter was on his own. The young waiter calmly walked over to talk to Hunter. I waited for my boyfriend to be called an icing thief and kicked out of the restaurant. But the waiter left the room, allowing Hunter to stay there. If we weren’t supposed to be there, I figured the guy would have asked us to leave.
Curious, I walked into the room. “What’s going on?”
He chuckled. “I will never stop loving you and your crazy antics.” Taking my hands in his, he looked into my eyes. “When we first met, I thought I was going to die from Lysol fumes.”
I giggled. That had been really bad.
“The night we were stranded and you thought we were going to die from a ghost haunting, I gave you my heart. You brought me back to life, Kendall. You were the missing piece I’ve been searching for all along.”
Tears welled in my eyes. This was the moment I dreamed about happening but was too scared to hope for. Hunter got down on one knee. “I will follow you to the ends of the earth, Kendall. I want the next chapter in our lives to be with me by your side as your husband while you conquer the world. I want to help you achieve all your dreams. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
I nodded, whispering, “You are the only dream I want now, Hunter. Yes, yes, a million times, yes.”
He scooped me up and kissed me hard as our families walked into the room. Hunter set me down, and my mom engulfed me in a hug.
“I am so happy for you, Kendall. Hunter is an amazing man.”
“He is. Thank you, Mom.”
Dad was next for a hug. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to think of you as anything but my little girl.”
“I won’t ever stop being Daddy’s girl.”
I hugged my dad fiercely, and he kissed the top of my head. Brett and Aubrey were next to hug me. “Welcome to the family. I am so happy to have you as a daughter,” Aubrey said.
My parents looked on lovingly. Aubrey whispered in my ear. “I’ve got more wine we can drink later.”
“It’s a date.” I laughed.
Brett shook my dad’s hand. “I appreciate you going easy on my son when he asked for Kendall’s hand.”
We all laughed. Hunter joined me again, and I turned to face him, wrapping an arm around his waist. “When did you ask my dad?”
“Yesterday, after we talked shop.”
“I want to get married at the ranch where we plan to start our lives.”
Hunter’s eyes gleamed with happiness, and I knew he wanted that, too.
Our mothers came to our sides. “Oh, you guys are going to have the wedding at the ranch?” Aubrey asked.
Hunter gave me a squeeze as I turned to his mom. “Yes, and I was hoping you two could plan it.”
There were gasps all around. “I want to focus on Hunter and me instead of getting lost in all the planning. None of the details matter as long as at the end of the day, I get to marry my soul mate.”
Aubrey squealed, and my mom gave one of those excited claps while bouncing. It was like our mothers had regressed and turned into kids.
Mom turned to Aubrey. “Lunch tomorrow?”
“For sure.”
They became engrossed in all things wedding while I turned my focus back to Hunter.
“You’re giving up control of planning the wedding?”
“Yes, my priority is us. Not all the small details. I can’t promise I won’t get hung up on schedules and outlines, but know I will always put us first at the end of the day.”
The point of a marriage wasn’t all the planning for the day. It was the two people joining their lives together and becoming one. Through Hunter’s love, I understood that.
“You are my beginning and my end, Kendall.”
Josh and I rode silently along the fence line. Neither of us had said a word since we had saddled up the horses and took off for an afternoon ride.
Patience was the key, so I waited. When I thought I would be waiting all day, he finally spoke and told me his story.
“Her name was Lisa. I met her sophomore year of high school and instantly fell in love with her.”
I looked at him, wondering where this conversation was going and if it would be the reason behind his behavior.
Josh shook his head as we both brought our horses to a stop. He stared out over the countryside as if lost in thought.
“Have you ever met a woman who made you want to kill her and love her at the same time?”
Smirking, I nodded as I thought of Kendall. “Yes. Yes, I have.”
Josh let out a halfhearted laugh. “That was Lisa. God, she was like a breath of fresh air one minute and my mortal enemy the next. Just when I thought I wanted to kiss her, she would do something that made me want to strangler her. I guess it was her way of trying to push me away.”
I frowned. “Why would she try to push you away?”
His smile faded. “At the time, I had no idea. All I knew was she was the most interesting girl I’d ever met. She was new to our school and instantly fit in with everyone. The popular kids, the science nerds, the jocks—everyone adored her. I was no exception. The moment she smiled at me, I knew I had to have her. I worked my ass off to impress her, but the more shit I did to show off, the more she ignored me. Pissed me off.”
I laughed. “I don’t miss those days.”
Josh faced me and grinned. I could see the pain and hurt in his eyes, and I started to think all of this kid’s issues had less to do with his father and more to do with this girl.
“Did you ever win her over?” I asked.
He turned and looked out over the pasture. “Yes. It took me a few months, but I did. She told me she liked me the first day she saw me in biology class. I guess it was love at first sight for both of us.”
“How did you win her over?”
Josh chuckled. “Ignoring her was the first plan of action. I figured if she didn’t like me, then I would just pretend she didn't faze me in the least. Fate kept throwing us together, though. She was my lab partner in biology class, then we were voted to be part of the homecoming court, and if you can believe it, we got partnered up for a fundraiser the football players and cheerleaders were doing. It seemed like at every turn, we were pushed together—no matter how hard I tried to stay away from her. I couldn’t take it and finally told her how I felt about her.”
“What did she say to that?”
“She admitted to liking me, too. We started dating, and for the first time in my life everything felt perfect. I didn’t care that my father wasn’t around, and when he was, I wasn’t bothered by his constant bashing of how badly I played or how I could have gotten a higher grade on a test. Nothing mattered to me but Lisa.”
His voice cracked at the end, and he closed his eyes as if he were being taken back in time. After clearing his throat, Josh went on. “I think I saw the signs from the very beginning but chose to ignore them. We dated for two years, and I never once went into her house. She would always meet me on the porch if I picked her up. She never talked about her family life at all. All I knew was her mother stayed at home with her little sister and her older brother was in college. Her father worked for a bank in town. He was the vice president or something like that. The first time I met them was at a football game. Lisa was so nervous when I introduced myself to her father. He was a fan of my dad’s, so he seemed pretty nice. Told me how much he admired my father, what a great football player he was, and how I had a bright future ahead of me. Based on that, I couldn’t figure out why Lisa never brought me around her folks. She said her father was strict and already didn’t like the idea that we were dating. He tolerated it because of who my father was.”
A sinking feeling started in my chest as I listened to Josh tell his story. I prayed like hell it wouldn’t go in one of the many different directions my mind was taking it.
“The night we had se
x for the first time, she was really scared. I kept telling her we didn’t have to do it for me to love her. We’d been dating for over nine months, and I hadn’t pressured her at all. We messed around—went pretty far with things—but never had sex. I would have waited a lifetime for her if she wanted me to. I loved her like I’ve never loved anyone in my life.” He shook his head and let out a breath. “She wanted us to be together, told me she needed it, needed to feel the connection between us. Hell, in the end, I wanted to be with her more than I could admit. I probably could have talked her out of it, but I wanted her, too. I tried to make it as romantic as possible. I got the key to our lake house and told my folks I was spending the weekend there with a couple of buddies of mine. They went with us, and so did two of Lisa’s friends. It was perfect. Everything about it was perfect. From the candles in the room to the way she whispered how much she loved me. I knew my life would never be the same. I no longer cared about football being the number one thing in my life. I cared about her. Lisa was number one.”
“What happened?” I asked, watching his face drain of color.
“For awhile after that everything was amazing. My mother loved Lisa. Even my father liked her, but like I said, she was hard not to love. She had this way about her that just made everyone love her. The end of our junior year, she told me she was pregnant. We were so careful all the time, and she told me she was going to go on the pill. Come to find out she never did because she was afraid her parents would find them. Her dad especially. I didn’t find out until it was too late just what a prick he was. Lisa hid the fact that he would use her and her mother as a punching bag, so she tried to avoid any little thing that might set him off. Things slowly started to make sense. Why I hardly went to her house. Why she would meet me places instead of letting me pick her up. The bruises she used to have that she made up stories for. All of it made perfect sense.”
My stomach felt like I’d swallowed a twenty-pound weight.
“When did you find out her father was hitting her?”
“The day she told me she was pregnant. She was freaking out big time, and I didn’t know what to do. My father was home that weekend, and I told her it would be okay to talk to my folks. I knew my mother would stand by us; I wasn’t so sure about my father. When we told them Lisa was pregnant, my father, of course, told me right in front of Lisa that I had just ruined my chances of ever being a football player.”
My mouth dropped open. “That was his first reaction?”
Josh nodded. “He made sure to get in a few good jabs before my mother stopped him from going too far with his words. My mother, on the other hand, told us it would all be okay. She would help us in any way she could. She even went with us when we told Lisa’s parents.”
“How did they take it?”
“Weirdly fine. Her father was calm, but of course it was because my mother was with us. After we left, I just couldn’t shake the feeling something bad was going to happen. I remember telling my mother we needed to get Lisa out of that house. She needed to come stay with us, but my mom told me I was being overprotective of her because she was carrying my baby. She said I needed to take a deep breath and let Lisa and her parents process everything. The next day in school, Lisa tried to avoid me the entire day.”
Josh stopped for a moment and pulled in a deep breath before continuing. “I skipped football practice and went to her cheerleading practice. She instantly started crying when she saw me and ran into my arms. It wasn’t until she pulled away that I saw the black eye. She’d had a couple before but had always said another cheerleader had elbowed her in the face during practice. This time, I knew it was the bastard of a father who’d done it, who had caused all of them. I made her leave with me, and we went to our spot at the lake. We’d had sex there a number of times, and Lisa said it was the only place in the world she felt happy. I’m sure we conceived our baby there. She told me about the abuse, how it started when her little sister was born. Turns out Lisa’s mom had been having an affair with an old college boyfriend, and Lisa and her younger sister were this other guy’s kids. Her father started hitting her and her mom after finding out the truth, which was not long after the baby sister was born and her brother went off to college. Lisa said her mom begged her dad for a divorce but he wouldn’t give it to her. I guess he decided to keep them around to take out his anger. Lisa said she would hear her mother screaming sometimes from her parents’ bedroom while her father would beat her and then make her have sex with him.”
A sick feeling rolled through my entire body. “He didn’t ever touch the girls, did he?”
“No. At least Lisa said he didn’t.” Josh turned and looked at me. His eyes filled with tears. “She begged me to run away with her that day, to just up and leave everything. As much as I loved her, Hunter, I couldn’t do that. I had to think about her and our baby’s future. My best shot was football. I knew I was good enough to make something of myself. Pay to support our family. I told her she could move out and live with my folks and me. I knew without a doubt my parents would be on board, especially when they found out her old man was hitting her. We made a plan that afternoon. I would go home and tell my mother and father what was happening. She was going to go home, pack a bag, and meet me at my house.”
Josh pulled in a shaky breath. “She never showed. I kept calling her, but she wasn’t answering her phone. I begged my father to go with me to her house. When we showed up, Lisa’s mom was frantic and the police were there. She begged me and my father to find Lisa because her father told her he was going to take the baby away from her and she would never see it. Her mom’s face was swollen and bruised, so I couldn't image what he had done to Lisa. The police started asking me if I knew where she would have gone. Instantly, I thought of our spot at the lake. They followed my father and me up to the lake, and when we pulled up, she was there.”
Tears streamed down Josh’s face, and I closed my eyes, knowing the outcome wasn’t going to be a good one.
“She had shot herself in the head and was on the ground. There was a note in her car addressed to me. In it, she said she had to do it because her father was going to force her to give him the baby. He also told her he would make sure I never played another game of football again. She said she did it to save my future and to protect our child.” Josh turned and looked at me, his eyes full of regret, anger, and sadness. “Do you know what my father said to me after he took the note from my hands?”
Slowly, I shook my head.
“He told me it was my fault she killed herself.”
I slid off the horse and fought the need to throw up. What the hell kind of father says that to his child? Puts that sort of guilt into his heart. Pulling in a deep breath, I turned to Josh, who was also off of his horse and staring out over the field. I turned him to face me.
“It was not your fault, Josh. None of it was your fault or Lisa’s. She was scared and didn’t know what to do.”
He nodded.
“Look at me, son. I need you to look at me.”
Josh’s eyes met mine.
“You didn't do anything differently than I would have done. As a matter of fact, you handled it like a gentleman and stepped up to your responsibility. You were getting her out of there. It just so happens that her father was a fucking monster.”
Swallowing hard, Josh looked down at the ground. “He took his own life a few months later. Didn’t leave a note or anything, but I’m pretty sure the guilt of what he had done was eating him alive.”
“I’m sure it was.”
“I just gave up on everything. I didn’t care anymore, Coach. Lisa was gone. She took her own life so I could play fucking football. I love the game, but it just didn’t mean anything to me after that. My father pretty much told me I would fail at every turn, and a part of me knew I had failed Lisa already, so I couldn’t stand the thought of failing her again.”
“So you started acting up and pulling the stunts because you were afraid of failing?”
He sh
rugged. “I guess. I look back on it, and it’s like I failed her anyway. She took her life and our unborn child’s life for nothing.”
“That’s not true, Josh. If you want this dream you once had, I will do everything in my power to help you make it happen, but it starts here.”
I placed my hand on his chest. “Inside here, you have to want it. You have to work for it. You have to have a reason to want it.”
A tear rolled down his face. “I just want her back.”
And like that, the wall crumbled, and Josh McEvans fell along with it.
The smell of bacon had me opening my eyes and taking a deep breath. It had been a long day and night with Josh. After he broke down, we’d sat for an hour and talked. Josh had a lot of guilt he needed to work through and even more soul-searching.
The sound of laughter made its way up to my room. It sounded like my folks and Josh. I quickly got out of bed, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. By the time I made it into the kitchen, it was just my mother sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee and eating breakfast.
“I thought I heard laughter,” I said, walking into the room and pouring a cup of coffee.
“Your father and Josh headed out to the barn to see Ahava.”
I lifted a brow and gave my mother a look. “Dad is with Josh?”
She shrugged. “Is that a problem?”
“No.”
Peering over her mug, she smiled. “He sees something in that boy. Clearly you do, as well.”
“I do. The kid has been through some serious shit, that’s for sure. Doesn't excuse him from acting like a little prick, though.”
She chuckled. “Your father said Josh’s father isn’t the nicest guy and he feels sorry for him.”
With a sigh, I took another drink and sat down next to my mother. “Yeah, the guy sounds like a jerk. This kid has a lot of emotional shit to get through, but I honestly think he could be a great quarterback.”
“In the minors, you mean?”
“No, pro. He’s that talented. I was up last night watching some of his high school and college games. The kid has got more talent in his pinky finger than his father ever dreamed of having. It’s a shame he tried to pull the kid down instead of building him up.”
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