by Kallysten
The wave swept her up first, making her vision blur in the intense heat of pleasure and her body shake as she struggled to keep moving and take Liam along with her. He captured her hands and helped her when her movements started becoming erratic, steadying her rhythm just a little longer. She could tell, by the way his eyes tightened, that Liam was close. A last thrust down pushed his cock deep inside her, and he came. A second orgasm crashed through Lena as she collapsed on top of him with her face buried in the crook of his neck and his arms tight around her.
She could feel him panting, his chest moving along with hers. It would have been easy to forget he didn’t need to breathe anymore. The scarred skin against her lips was too much of a reality for her to pretend, however.
She remained on top of him until both their breathing had calmed, and when she finally moved to lie next to him, he rolled with her, his body pressing against her side. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel his gaze on her, strong and fiery. She rolled onto her side toward him and opened her eyes. She didn’t need to ask him to tell her what was on his mind, and when he did, his voice trembled with the same intensity it had held the night he had asked her to marry him.
“Will you let me turn you?”
The need to consent flared in Lena. She’d give anything as long as she could still be with him. However, in the same instant, reality left no place for doubts as far as to what her answer had to be. Her eyes filled with tears that she refused to shed. She was done crying over Liam, not when she had found him again, for however brief a moment.
“We could have forever,” he insisted, his words and tone cajoling. “The happily ever after we deserve.”
“Sounds wonderful,” she said, unable to raise her voice past a murmur. “But what if it changed me? What if I didn’t…?” The idea felt incongruous, and yet she had to voice it. “What if I didn’t love you anymore? You said there’s no way to tell beforehand how much it will change someone.”
Liam didn’t answer. In that brief moment before he rolled onto his back and pulled away from her, Lena saw his face become a disappointed mask. She turned away as well, pulling the sheet up to clutch it to her chest. She hated hurting him, but she couldn’t do anything else. The silence that settled on the room quickly became oppressive.
“I’ve cried myself to sleep for seven months,” she said at last. “I’ve missed you so much. At times I thought I would simply die without you. But I kept going, because that’s what you’d have wanted. I stayed in school, because it wasn’t just my dream, it was yours, too. I’m going to do it, Liam. I’m going to be a doctor. For me and for you. That’s the one certainty that kept me sane all this time. And I’d rather have this certainty and…and not be with you, than believe in forever, and risk losing my love for you.”
Silence fell again on the small room as her words died. She was beginning to wonder whether she ought to leave when Liam moved, fast enough to pull a surprised gasp from her, and threw a possessive arm over her.
“I owe you an apology,” he said. “I’ve believed since we met that I was the strongest one out of the two of us. I was wrong.”
She tried moving into his embrace, tried to say something, but he tightened his arm for a second and shushed her.
“Sleep, love. There’ll be time to talk tomorrow.”
Lena knew him too well not to hear the barely concealed lie in his words. There would be no talk, of course not. They had said everything there was to say. Lena would not sacrifice a long dreamed of future, and Liam could not return to his past. She tried to remain awake and figure out a way to share each other’s present, but, mentally exhausted, she drifted off into sleep without finding an answer.
Liam’s embrace had never felt so warm.
* * * *
The quiet rustling sounds of Lena getting dressed woke Liam, but he managed to keep his eyes closed and remain still. They had had a lovely night, full of memories, of the love they had once shared—and still shared, he now knew.
He didn’t want to spoil the experience with awkward goodbyes, half-voiced apologies and promises they could only break. He didn’t want his last memory of Lena to be of her leaving him. She had given him his answer, and he knew he couldn’t change her mind. Deep down, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to. As she had said, the risk was there that she might not love him upon being changed. He would rather let her live her life and know he was still in her heart than force her to join him in the night, and maybe lose her completely.
He had not chosen or even wanted to be a vampire, but there had been nothing left for him to do when he had awakened, craving blood, save for accepting what he had become. He had learned how to survive, following his Sire’s directions because it felt like the right thing to do, missing Lena more than he missed the sun. And now that he had found her and lost her again, for the first time since awakening a vampire, he felt angry at what had happened to him, at the limitations and hunger that were now his. For the first time, he felt lonely, having lost his Sire, his clan, and now his last threads of hope that Lena might join him. For the first time, he regretted being what he was.
She was dressed now, or so he thought, and judging by the sound of her heartbeat she was standing on the other side of the bed. He wondered what she was doing, and almost opened an eye to know. Was she watching him, maybe, etching in her mind the lines of his face, as he had done before letting sleep claim him hours before? Part of him hoped that she was, a very selfish little voice that wanted her to miss him every bit as much as he would miss her.
The sounds of her steps were muted, then the door opened softly, and she was gone.
Opening his eyes, Liam blinked several times, and denied even to himself that it was tears he was blinking away. He had seen the woman he loved after months of missing her, had held her, made love to her and heard her give a precious declaration of love and acceptance. He was a lucky man, and an even luckier vampire.
Still, that didn’t make the pain of losing her any less.
With a groan, he rolled onto his stomach, flinging an arm toward the pillow she had used and pulling it to him. He buried his face in it, and breathed in her scent. One more thing he would miss about her.
His hand brushed against something as he shifted his hold on the pillow, and he raised his head to discover a small piece of paper lying on the bed, where it might have fallen off the pillow when he had moved it. A rush of pure hope and excitement coursed through him. He picked up the paper and in the feeble light of the early morning filtering around the blinds, smiled at the words scribbled in a handwriting he knew as well as his own, a few words that gave him all of Lena’s love.
If you can forget happily ever after, I’m willing to give day by day a try.
The End
About the Author:
Kallysten’s most exciting accomplishment to date was to cross a few thousand miles and an ocean to pursue (and catch!) the love of her life. She has been writing for fifteen years, and always enjoyed sharing her stories and listening to the readers' reactions. After playing with science fiction, short stories and poetry, she is now trying her hand, heart and words at paranormal romance novels.
To see her other stories, including free short stories and sample chapters, visit http://original.kallysten.net
Also available from Kallysten:
On The Edge
Brett Andrews thought he had it all.
His new club, On The Edge, catering to vampires and humans, is a smashing success, and the beautiful vampire Lisa is everything he could have dreamed of.
When an old lover of hers, Leo, shows up at the club, Brett's immediate fear is that he will lose Lisa. But if he just stops thinking long enough to follow Lisa's lead, he might gain a lover instead of losing one.
Carte Blanche
When a lobbyist opposed to vampires’ rights is found drained of her blood, Special Enforcer Grace Alkins investigates the woman’s connection to a local BDSM club and its vampire customers. It has been a long time sin
ce Grace played on this particular scene, but old habits return easily when she puts on the attire of Mistress Red.
On her first undercover visit at the club, however, she finds herself tricked into playing a scene with Ray, a submissive whose Master left town abruptly. The Dominant in her enjoys the opportunity – while the Special Enforcer is shocked to realize Ray is a vampire, and possibly a suspect for the murder she investigates.
Will Grace manage to keep a cool head and find the killer when every new meeting with Ray cranks up the heat a little more?
Her Last Words
Two centuries have passed since the Master Vampire Gabrielle made the biggest mistake of her life. Two centuries since her plan backfired, resulting not in the destruction of demons as she had hoped, but instead in the slaughtering of countless humans and vampires that had been fighting against them. Two centuries also, since she pushed away her favorite Childe, without ever telling him why. Two centuries of fighting alone to protect the humans she has sworn to defend from demons. Two centuries of missing Erik.
When he finally reappears in her life, she thinks she has been offered a second chance. But she soon realizes that she will need to face her mistakes to reach him, and understand that silence can be more painful than words.