by Amy Field
“Trust me Martha leaving without you was good for you,” he sighed and combed his hand through his hair before looking up into Martha’s eyes “You made a life for yourself, you have a family and three beautiful kids. I have nothing.”
Martha did not know if she should believe him or not, he sounded remorseful, and at the same time, his voice was stained with regret. She, however, did not forget the fact that she had walked in on him smoking a cigarette casually.
“What happened to you?” she asked curiously.
“A lot.”
“I want to know.”
Stephen looked around and took her hand in his; he liked how she did not resist as she led her to a small clearing where they sat and faced the woods right ahead of them.
“I missed you Martha,” he started “Not a day went without me thinking about you.”
“Why didn’t you get in touch?”
“I did,” Stephen answered. “But not with you, my brother Mark gave me all the updates about you. When he told me you got married, I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”
“So why did you come back?” she probed.
“I got broke,” he combed both his hands through his hair and Martha could tell he craved a cigarette “I made bad choices, poor investments and it all blew up in my face. I was left with nothing and had to live in my car for some time.”
“It must have been really bad if you chose to come back to this”, Martha said and pointed to the surrounding in reference to their community.
“You have no idea.”
“How does it feel coming back to a community that turned its back on you?”
“It was weird at first; I was used to living a free life without any restrictions.”
“I take it your father’s house still has the same old rules?”
“It does, but I am slowly blending into the system”, Stephen confirmed.
“Does this mean if you get an opportunity that will force you to leave here, you will?”
“I don’t know”, Stephen honestly answered. “This place is in good for me, being away from technology is refreshing.”
The two went on to talk about anything and everything, Martha asking about the different equipment she had heard about. She was fascinated to hear about machines that could heat food in less than five minutes and wash clothes in the same duration of time. Martha had lived all her life in the walls of the Amish community. She secretly envied Stephen for stepping out and finding out what was beyond the walls.
After spending about an hour of chit chat and idling around, Martha had to go. She got to her feet and dusted her skirt before looking at Stephen, who was getting on his feet too.
“I have to go.”
“I know, I wish you didn’t have to leave,” he said sincerely.
Martha looked at his inviting lips and wanted nothing more than to indulge him in a passionate kiss. His chest hair was peeping through the first two unbuttoned shirt, and that only made matters worse for her.
With much bravado and resolve, Martha walked over to him and brought his lips closer to him. She then went ahead to kiss him, and they were both lost in a tight embrace, both melted into the other’s touch neither wanting to stop.
“I have to go,” Martha warned but did not let go of him.
“I don’t want you to go,” Stephen answered as he held on to her. He ran his hands up and down her spine and loved the delicious moans that escaped her throat.
“I have to go,” she said this time with a finality tone in her voice. She took a few steps from him, straightened her skirt and took off.
“Same time tomorrow,” Stephen shouted a she scurried away.
Martha let out a smile as she walked away, her eyes fixed on the road ahead as she thought of what she was going to make for supper that day.
The excitement and little butterflies that swum around in her stomach were refreshing. The last time she felt that excited was when she was in high school, she tried to condemn her actions but could not. She felt not an ounce of guilt, and she just didn’t care. For the first time in years, she was happy.
The weeks that followed for Martha were full of surprise and adventure. The sneaking around came naturally for her as Stephen plotted most of their rendezvous joints. They had picnics by the lake, in the thickest part of the woods and behind abandoned barns.
Martha’s life was no longer a routine, her afternoons were filled with adventure, and it was the only thing she looked forward to in her day.
The double standard life for Martha was, however, short lived, on a sunny afternoon after they had shared a light meal behind an abandoned barn, Stephen surprised her with her words.
“Martha, I love you.”
The words were both unexpected and soothing for Martha; Mathew had never told her what she wanted to hear. She sat up on the mat she had brought out with her and gave Stephen a searching look.
“Why are you doing this to me?” she asked. “Why now?”
“I know I am not fair to you but I had to let you know,” he said and placed a hand on her left cheek.
Martha loved the feel of his touch and shut her eyes momentarily; she wished she was sixteen again and could run away with him, but things were different now.
“My life is different now Stephen,” she said as she tried to sit up and look him in the eye.
“I know that.”
She got to her feet and dusted off her skirt before looking at Stephen in the eye and wondering what to do next. Everything was happening so fast for her, and it was all unexpected.
“I have to go,” she said but was stopped by Stephen, who got to his feet and brought her closer to him.
“I am sorry, I should have said anything.”
“It’s ok.”
“Same time tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, maybe we should put a stop to all this,” Martha said, “I think it is now getting dangerous.”
The look on Martha’s face as she said this was not expected, and she looked at Stephen wondering if he would agree to her proposal.
“I will be here waiting for you tomorrow, same time,” Stephen said and pretended not to have heard what Martha suggested. She let out a smile and picked her belongings before walking away from him. She could feel his eyes dig deep into her back as she walked away and wished she could turn back and kiss him one last time.
The walk back to her house was short and eventful; deeply immersed in her thoughts. Then Anne the town gossip interrupted her daydreaming.
“Hello Martha,” she said with a curious look smeared all over her face.
“Hello, Anne.”
“What have you got there?” she asked, pointing to her picnic basket.
“Nothing much."
“It looks like you have been carrying around that basket a lot lately,” Anne said.
Martha was not sure where the conversation was heading, but she did not want to fuel it. She looked at Anne straight in the eye and wondered if she knew anything.
“Yes I have, I like going by the river when I am alone to read the Bible,” Martha answered and wondered if she would believe the yarn.
“You do that every day at 12:30?”
“Maybe.”
Anne then let out a strange laugh and moved closer to Martha, her eyes were searching, and the look in her eye was murderous.
“It was nice running into you Anne, I have to head on home now,” Martha said and started walking away from her.
“I am sure you do,” Anne said, “You need to wash off that sinner’s filth from your body.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on Martha, quit playing pretend with me,” Anne said, “I know what you have been up to.”
“You do?”
“Yes I do,” she answered, “I saw you around that heathen and truth be told it disgusts me.”
“Does it now?”
“Yes it does, you are a married woman, Martha, with three kids.”
“I still do
not know what you are talking about Anne”, Martha stood her ground “Even if I did, rest assured it is none of your business what I do and who I choose to do it with.”
“From what I gather, you have been a very naughty girl,” Anne pointed out “You have been sneaking around with this man and not being very Godly.”
“I have to go,” Martha said with a tone of finality and turned on her heel, “Whatever I decide to do with my life is none of your business.”
“Martha, do you know the saying “Love you neighbor as you love yourself?”
“Of course, I do,” Martha said as she kept on walking.
“If you do not tell your husband about your extracurricular activities, I will.”
These words made Martha’s throat run dry, she looked at Anne in the eye and knew she was not serious.
“Who in this context is your neighbor Anne, me or my husband?”
“Both of you of course,” she answered with a shock stained voice “I wouldn’t sit on the sidelines and watch my neighbor’s marriage fall apart when I could do something about it. The Lord will condemn me forever.”
“The nerve of you, you don’t care about any of us,” Martha barked. “You only want to stir up trouble.”
“Tell him or I will, confess your sins, and you shall be forgiven,” Anne said before walking away.
Martha was left to her thoughts wondering what to do next; she walked on home slowly with Anne’s words printed in her mind. The basket hanging on her arm felt heavy as she thought of what she would do next.
The kids were not yet home when she arrived, and this gave her more time to plot and think up the lies she will have to tell. She knew Anne would make good on her threat and did not want to take any chances.
The rest of the night went by smoothly for Martha, she sat through the evening meal and listened to Mathew ask her children to recite the memory verses. She then cleaned up after them and set the next day’s plan before heading off to bed.
Mathew was in bed already but was not asleep.
“I need to talk to you,” she said to him.
“What about?”
Martha went silent for a minute as she replayed her confession in her mind.
“Speak up; I need to have an early day tomorrow.”
Martha was about to say the next words, but a knock on their door distracted him.
“Who could that be, this late?” Mathew asked before getting out of bed and walking over to the door. Martha was right behind her wondering the same thing.
“Who is it?” Mathew called from the other side of the door.
“Stephen,” came the reply.
“Stephen?”
Martha’s heart sounded louder in her chest as she wondered what Stephen was doing on her doorstep. She recognized the voice but wondered what the reason was.
Mathew unlocked the door and stepped aside as he swung it open. Stephen walked in, looking at Martha before diverting his attention back to Mathew.
“My father sent me over,” he said. He had a basket in his left hand that had apples filled to the brim “He said I should bring this here.”
“Couldn’t it wait until morning?”
“No, I am sorry it could not,” Stephen apologized and threw Martha a side glance. She focused all her attention on the floor and did not bother looking his way.
“If that will be all, we would like to get back to sleep now,” Mathew said and gestured toward the door.
“Right,” Stephen answered. “My father would like to congratulate you on the work you have been doing in the community too.”
“I feel honored, it is, after all, the Lord’s work,” Mathew answered. He clearly liked the compliment and how Stephen was buttering him up. Martha, on the other hand, wanted him to leave the house. The awkward atmosphere suffocated her.
“I have to go now, you folks have a lovely night,” Stephen said to both of them and started heading to the door.
A wave of relief washed over Martha, but her heart beat even harder in her chest when there was a second knock on the door.
“Hello good people,” Anne said in her cheery voice.
Mathew looked at Martha questioningly before returning his gaze to their other late-night guest.
“Hello Anne,” Martha said in a cool tone. “What are you doing here so late in the night?”
“I thought I should bring you some left over butter I've made”, she said and handed Martha a basket. “I needed to pay a neighborly visit, something I have not done in a long while.”
“Couldn’t it wait till Morning?” Mathew asked and eyed Anne curiously. Her reputation of being the town gossip preceded her, and he did not want to be in her presence for a minute longer.
Anne smiled and looked from Mathew to Stephen with a Cheshire grin on her face.
“Stephen, right?” Anne inquired as she gave all her attention to him. “I saw you yesterday behind Mr. Walkins old barn.”
The look on Martha’s face could have sold her out immediately, but she maintained her cool. Her face became paper white as she tried to think of a way to convince Anne not to say anything.
“Yes, that was me," Stephen answered. He did not look scared for a minute. He moved closer to her. “I also saw you by the lake two days ago; you were looking radiant as the sun.”
Martha did not know the weight Stephen’s words held but it seemed to have a great impact on Anne. She widened her eyes in shock before looking at Martha and back at Stephen.
“I had better get going now,” Stephen announced after giving Anne one last look. “Good night.”
"Goodnight," both Martha and Mathew said but not in unison.
Anne was left inside, looking at the couple, and Martha could tell she was in a foul mood. She looked at Mathew and wanted to say something but held her tongue.
“I have to get back home now,” she said and turned on her heel.
“Good night Anne,” Martha called after her.
“Goodnight,” she replied coldly before letting herself out.
“So much for night guests,” Mathew said and headed back to his bedroom.
“I have to tell her something,” Martha called out “I will be right back.”
She walked through the dark and spotted Anne at a distance.
“Anne, wait up!” she called.
Anne slowed down, but when she turned to face Martha, she had an angry look on her face. She clenched her fists so hard that Martha thought she might land a blow on her.
“What do you want?” Anne asked in an angry tone.
“What was that about? What did Stephen have on you?”
“Nothing.”
“Really, Anne?”
“I have to go,” she said and continued to walk away from Martha. Her hurried steps shuffled on the ground and Martha decided not to go after her.
She walked back to her house where Mathew was still waiting on her.
She locked the door behind her and walked on to the bedroom.
“That was strange,” Mathew commented as she looked at his wife taking off her clothes.
“It was.” She agreed.
“Do you by nay chance know what Stephen was talking about?”
“I have no idea,” she answered as she pulled on her night dress and climbed into the bed.
“What did you want to tell me?” Mathew asked.
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure?” Mathew probed on “You look like you were about to say something before the circus came in.”
Martha sat up on her side of the bed and gave Mathew a searching look. Other than having no affection in him, he was a good provider and father. He never hit her like most husbands did to discipline them and he would always make sure the kids were taken care of. She, however, tried to look for any excitement from him but could not. She could not compare his touch to that of Stephen and could not remember when the last time he kissed her was.
“I was simply asking if we could go on a vacation this year with the kids?
”
“Vacation to where?”
“I don’t know, a place outside the community, I think the kids would love it.”
“When you start paying the bills around here Martha, we will go on a vacation.”
And there it was, Martha thought to herself. The reason to why she cheated on him severally. She watched as he threw the covers over his body and stretched out on his side of the bed.
The night had been eventful, and the fact that her secret was still intact was the best part. She turned on her side of the bed, thinking of no one else but Stephen and wished he would be the one lying next to her.
“I love you, Stephen,” she thought to herself with her hands wrapped around her. They would have to be a more cautious moving forward; she began thinking of the different places they would hide, and a few ideas came to mind. They had not been as careful as expected of late and Anne’s revelation was enough evidence. This was clearly not the day Mathew would find out about her wife’s new hobby, and Martha drifted off to sleep hoping he never will.
THE END
Book II
The Amish Widow’s Lover
Martha lay in bed, her blue eyes wide and staring at nothing in particular in the ceiling of her room. She was alone in bed, as it had been for the past three years after her husband Matthew’s fatal buggy accident. Yet old habits were difficult to get rid of and she remained still, waiting for the alarm clock to go off to rise and begin her daily routine.
As soon as the alarm sounded, she threw off the covers and stood to her feet, putting her hair in a tight bun at the nape of her neck before reaching for her prayer kapp on the bedside table and securing it over her hair.
Upon reaching the backdoor that led to the kitchen she noticed that smoke was rising from the chimney. She knew it meant her daughter was also up and had beaten her to the task of preparing breakfast for the household which now consisted of the two of them, as the boys were now both married and living away from home. Leah was the youngest at fifteen, but soon enough she too would be leaving Martha to get married and start her own family.
“Good morning mother,” her daughter greeted cheerily as soon as she entered the kitchen.