Zack and Richard

by L. J. Hamlin

  “Are you sure? You don’t owe me anything. I’m sure I could stay in my place.” Zack isn’t sure, but he doesn’t want to force Richard’s hand. There’s a difference between Richard being cool with him spending a few hours here, and him spending the night.

  “I’m sure. You have no power, no heat. Stay here. I even have TV and radio. Oh, and an X-box, if that’s your thing. You’re very welcome here, Zack, and not just because you saved Biscuit from harm and me from going out in the snow,” Richard says firmly, and Zack’s stomach flutters.

  “I could beat you at some computer games.” Zack smiles, trying to play things cool. He never knows how to react to crushes since he has them so infrequently.

  “So cocky. Always this confident?” Richard asks as they walk over to the couch that’s closer to the TV and X-box.

  Zack tries to smile. “I used to be. Lately not so much,”

  Zack sits down on the couch as Richard sets everything up.

  “Your divorce mess you up?” Richard asks, handing him a controller.

  “Yeah, and what I told you, the reasons. I guess I felt like less of a man, less desirable,” Zack admits, keeping his eyes on the loading screen as Richard sits down next to him. Zack can feel the slight heat coming from Richard’s body, he’s so close.

  Richard clears his throat. “I know we’re raised to think certain things make a man, but nothing you told me makes you less of a man. It certainly doesn’t make you less desirable. Have you dated at all since your divorce?”

  “Do drunken hook-ups count? I’ve been too afraid to ask anyone out when sober.” Zack sighs, taking out his frustration by shooting things on the screen.

  “Hook-ups can be nice, but do you want more with anyone, or is it too soon?” Richard sounds more than a little curious, and Zack sneaks a look at him to find Richard is paying more attention to him than the game.

  “I think I’d rather date someone. It’s more my nature. Sex without strings doesn’t really satisfy me. I’m demiromantic, and I connect to certain people. No connection? No real heat,” Zack says simply.

  “That makes sense. I prefer to get to know a person before I sleep with them. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve had a fair bit of casual sex, but that’s not the kind of relationship I have my eye on,” Richard says, effortlessly killing hordes of zombies.

  “Do you have your eye on anyone for that relationship?” Zack asks, and he wants to shove his fist in his mouth if it would fit, or maybe one of his still wet socks. He can’t believe he asked Richard that.

  “Honestly? I have this cute neighbor who came to check on me in the snow who looks really hot in my clothes, but I’m not sure he’s interested,” Richard says, fingers moving fast over buttons, but Zack can feel Richard’s attention on him.

  “And if he were interested?” Zack asks. He can feel his heart beating in his throat. He’s felt a connection building with Richard since he moved in next door, but he’d feared it was all one-sided.

  “Well, for now things wouldn’t really change. We’d eat dinner, talk, wait out the storm. Maybe outline some rules, like if we want a closed relationship, which I would. Then once the snow clears, we’d go on dates, do couple stuff,” Richard says, and Zack knows in his heart Richard is keeping up the pretense of this not being about them to give Zack an out if he’s not interested.

  “I think your neighbor would like that,” Zack says softly.

  Richard pauses the computer game and puts his controller down. “So, I’m not too old for you?”

  “Not at all. I’m not too insecure? I know I have issues, not even a year out of a divorce, only out for about that long, can’t have kids the old fashion way, and I have baggage about that. Do you really want to take all that on?” Zack doesn’t want to get his hopes up.

  “If you’d gotten to your thirties without any baggage, I’d probably not know how to talk to you. None of those things stop me from wanting to date you. Is my health an issue? A lot of people don’t want to date a person with a disability.” Richard sounds sure about what he’s saying, but also nervous.

  “No! I might get scared if you’re unwell, but I’d never bail or get weird,” Zack says putting down his controller and letting his character face death by zombie.

  Richard smiles. “It’s okay to get scared. I do. It’s normal. I’d never expect it not to worry you. Just don’t treat me like a helpless child and never pity me.”

  “So, we’re on the same page? We like each other in a romantic way, and we’re going to try and date?” Zack wants to be sure. Richard means a lot to him already, even more so after his kindness today.

  Richard turns the computer off and offers a hand to Zack, and nervously he takes it. “I like you a lot. I definitely want to date you. So, could I start by cooking you dinner? Some warm food would be good in this weather,”

  “How about we cook together? I’m actually a pretty good cook. I can bake, too. I’d been planning to surprise you with something, but I didn’t know if you had any allergies or intolerance to food.” Zack feels free to admit it, now he knows Richard likes him back romantically. Before he’d have been afraid his crush would show. Now he doesn’t need to hide it.

  “Compromise? I cook dinner; you bake us a dessert. I should have what you need. And the only thing I can’t have is black currants, or I get very sick. You do not want to be snowed in with someone while they projectile vomit bright purple sick,” Richard offers with a wry smile.

  “Show me your kitchen, and we can get to work,” Zack suggests.

  “Make yourself at home.” Richard leads him by the hand over to the open-plan kitchen and then let’s go, opening cupboards and the fridge, pointing out all the ingredients he has in stock. He’s pretty well stocked, luckily, as it may be some time before they get to grocery stores, and even then, the stores might not have gotten any deliveries.

  Richard makes some suggestions for their main meal, asking his own questions about allergies before starting to plan. Zack finds some slightly too ripe bananas and decides on banana bread for dessert. Richard offers a stew, which sounds perfect for this winter weather, where the cold outside had gotten down deep into Zack’s bones. He’s only just getting warm again.

  They cook side by side, prepping fruits and vegetables. Richard browns meat and even makes his own stock from bones. They chat as they work together, and it’s like a switch has been flipped. There’s a sense of affection between them, and Zack doesn’t feel half as nervous as he normally does when he’s around Richard. His crush is out in the open and so are the secrets of his divorce. It’s like a burden has been lifted, and he can just enjoy being around Richard.

  * * * *

  Zack doesn’t know how long it takes, but eventually they sit down at Richard’s dining table with stew and glasses of whisky. Richard tells him about the book he was supposed to discuss with the group. Zack likes the sound of it, so Richard offers to lend Zack his copy. They talk about other books they’ve both read and get into a debate about which is the best book to movie adaptation, and which is the worst.

  By the time they’re eating warm banana bread, it’s pitch black outside, but with that strange glow that comes from so much snow fall. Zack thinks they’ll have to dig their way out in the morning. He looks over to his house, and he can see it’s still in darkness.

  After their meal, Richard suggests moving the couch closer to the fire so they can talk and keep warm. It’s pretty heavy and hard to move, but between them they get it moved. Richard has to use his inhaler once, but seems fine after. Richard pours two more glasses of whisky and places them on the coffee table near Biscuit, who has also been fed. Richard also gets out another blanket, and once they’re sitting side by side, closer than when they’d been playing games on the X-box, Richard covers them with the blanket.

  “Warm enough?” Richard asks, leaning forward to scratch behind Biscuits ears when she makes a grumbling noise.

  “Perfect. Body heat is the best kind of heat, warmest. And your clot
hes are great. I have to get my place organized, open up the fireplace, and get a generator. I really didn’t prepare well for this winter.” Zack shakes his head.

  “You’re used to the city. You’ll get used to small town living,” Richard assures.

  “Small towns do seem to have some perks, so I think I’ll get used to it.” Zack smiles shyly at Richard, seeing Richard as the perk. Zack hadn’t truly fallen for a man while in the city, a place with a larger queer population, but he comes to a small town, finds he has a bisexual neighbor, and falls for him.

  “I can help you get your place more winter ready, if you like?” Richard offers.

  “I’d like that. My place is never this warm,” Zack says, snuggling down into the pillows and blankets, his body feeling toasty and warm.

  “The old owner didn’t spend much time there, especially in winter. And fuck, could you look any cuter? You should always be comfortable.” Richard’s eyes sparkle as he speaks.

  “You think I’m cute?” Zack has never had anyone call him cute before, not as an adult.

  “Adorable, but in a manly, sexy way,” Richard assures him.

  “Oh, so you think I’m sexy, too?” Zack asks, enjoying the compliments. It’s not that he never gets any, but getting them from a man he has a deep crush on, means more. Richard is handsome. He reminds Zack of a large teddy bear, big and perfect for hugs.

  Richard grins and reaches out, putting his hand on Zack’s chin, giving him time to pull away before spreading his fingers and gripping gently. “You make me feel like a teenager. Every time I see you, I feel a deep need.”

  Zack feels a little breathless just from the simple touch and Richard’s words. His attention is like a laser directed right at Zack, and it makes him feel special, a little nervous, a lot turned on.

  “What do you need right now?” Zack asks, leaning into Richard’s touch a little.

  “I won’t die without it, so don’t feel obligated, but I’ve been wanting to kiss you since you knocked on my door,” Richard tells him in a slightly lust filled voice.

  “I don’t feel like I have to. You haven’t been pushy or anything since I got here, and you’re just not that kind of guy. But I do want you to kiss me. I feel really connected to you, and I want to feel some kind of physical connection, too,” Zack rambles, feeling uncertain.

  He wants Richard to know that he one hundred percent does not feel pressured in any way, and he also wants Richard to know kissing and other things are on his mind, too. He knows some people think being demiromantic, that maybe he won’t like sex. He does though, very much so, but he enjoys it more with people he’s connected to. He can have sex without that, but he has to really get to know someone before he considers romance. That’s how being demi works for him. He knows it’s different for other people.

  “So, we both want to kiss each other. What should we do about that?” Richard teases.

  “I think you should kiss me, and we’ll go from there. I’d like you to take the lead,” Zack admits.

  “I’d be a fool to refuse an offer like that.” Richard twists his body a little, drawing his body closer to Zack and leans in.

  The first touch of their lips is light as silk.

  Zack cups the back of Richard’s head, and his other hand balls in the front of Richard’s shirt as their lips part and the kiss deepens. Zack is relaxing into the kiss, sparks flying behind his eyelids and in his blood, but the pleasure feels without urgency, like he could do this and nothing more for hours, when Biscuit barks, and they break apart.

  “What is it, girl?” Richard asks, moving away from Zack a little. Zack misses his heat right away.

  Biscuit gets up and goes to the door, whining and scratching at it.

  “Bathroom break. I have a litter box for emergencies like these. I’ll, um, be right back. Dog poop on the carpet would not add to a romantic feel.” Richard gets up, and Biscuit follows him closely. Zack settles back on the couch, listening to Richard putter about and touches his lips with his fingertips, and then brushing the tougher skin of his knuckles over his sensitive lips. He likes kissing Richard, he decides. He likes it a lot.

  Richard comes back, and before getting under the covers, puts the radio on to some music, light jazz. “This okay?”

  “Yeah, it’s nice.” Zack nods.

  Richard gets under the covers again, and Zack presses the side of his body against Richard’s. Richard puts his arm around Zack’s shoulders, and he uses the opportunity to cuddle closer to Richard.

  “Sorry for the interruption,” Richard says, gently stroking the edges of Zack’s hair.

  “Don’t be sorry. I like how well you take care of Biscuit.” Zack smiles.

  “I love animals, all of them, but Biscuit is my girl. Got her as a six-week old puppy. She’s seven now, lot of time together. I was so glad when you said you liked dogs when you saw Biscuit. I have total respect for phobias, but I couldn’t date someone who was afraid of, or hated Biscuit. Dogs are not an until thing. You know, until your next relationship or until you buy a new house,” Richard says. It’s clearly very important to him, and Zack can feel his heart melting even more for Richard.

  “You’re a good man. I like animals, too. Had them as a kid, but haven’t had my own since I went to college. I’d like to get a dog now that I have a nice yard. Maybe if I do, we could walk our dogs together?” Zack suggests.

  “That sounds perfect. What kind of dog would you like? I know a shelter. It’s where I got Biscuit. Her pregnant mom was abandoned. They get all ages.” Richard sounds excited, and it makes Zack smile. He’s been thinking about getting a pet for some time, a dog especially, and hearing Richard sound so happy about it makes Zack feel more eager to get the ball rolling.

  “Doesn’t need to be a puppy, but a younger dog, so I can have a long time with them. A shelter would be good if you give me the details. Maybe you can help me pick a dog, seeing as you have a dog. You know more than me.” Zack hopes asking isn’t pushing too far. He knows usually couples go to pick out dogs together after being together for a long time, so maybe asking a guy who has only just told him he’s attracted to him might be rushing, but it feels right for Zack.

  Richard smiles. “I would be happy to help. “

  “I was hoping we could talk dogs another time, though, and maybe for now you would kiss me again,” Zack says, feeling bold again.

  “I would never turn down that offer. You kiss with such passion. I could kiss you for hours,” Richard says, cupping Zack’s jaw and moving in closer again.

  “I wouldn’t object,” Zack says, shaking slightly from a combination of nerves and passion. He feels like a tightly coiled spring with Richard so close, touching him gently. It’s like a tease of what he needs.

  Richard closes the gap and kisses him full on the lips. The kiss is sizzling. The chemistry between them is undeniable. Zack wraps his arms around Richard and tries to get as close as two clothed bodies will allow.

  “Can I?” Richard asks, breaking the kiss, his fingers curling around the zipper on the sweater Zack is wearing.

  Zack nods, knowing his chest is bare beneath. Richard slowly lowers the zipper, and Zack isn’t sure if Richard is giving him time to get used to things, or is savoring the moment, or both, but he appreciates the slow pace. He’s had rushed hook-ups, but never sober, and never with a man he would certainly see again.

  With the warmth of Richards home and his body close, Zack doesn’t feel cold, but when Richard places a hand on his chest, bare skin to bare skin, he shivers, slightly overwhelmed by the sensation. He wants to feel Richard’s hands on every inch of his skin.

  Richard runs his fingers down Zack’s chest to his stomach before curling around Zack’s side, his warm firm grip showing strength, but not making him feel uncomfortable. Holding Zack’s side, Richard draws him in close and kisses him lightly.

  “More,” Zack demands. The light kiss is nice, but not what he’s craving now with Richards hands on his skin. Outside it’s free
zing cold, the snow piled high, but it is a different world in here, their own private shelter from the snow.

  “More kissing?” Richard asks with a raised eyebrow.

  “More everything,” Zack says, feeling confident. He can tell by the way Richard’s hand grips his waist that Richard is feeling the pull between them, too.

  Richard kisses him without hesitation, and not just a brush of lips this time. Richard devours him, using tongue, lips and teeth to drive Zack wild and making him want to surrender to anything Richard may want to do with him.

  Zack lets himself sink backward on the couch till he’s lying on his back. He draws Richard with him so that Richard is bracketed above him, their legs tangling, groins pressing together. Richard’s breath sounds rough, and Zack begins to worry.

  “Are you okay to do this? Your asthma…” Zack doesn’t want to risk Richard’s health, especially snowed in like they are, away from access to help if anything went wrong.

  “I’m turned on, not having an asthma attack. Believe me, you’d know the difference. As much as I like kissing you, I’d stop, and I’ve never had a hard on while I had an asthma attack,” Richard says, grinding down just enough to let Zack feel the effect he’s having on Richard’s body.

  “I just really would feel like an ass if I caused you have an attack,” Zack says, flushing hot from the feel of Richards cock against his. His throat feels thick, making it harder to get his words out, and his blood is boiling in his veins. He’s so turned on, but worried about Richard.

  “Take it as a compliment if you take my breath away.” Richard grins, kissing him softly.

  “You’re so chill. I kind of love it. I panic over everything,” Zack admits.

  “You don’t seem to be panicking over us, over this,” Richard points out.

  Zack smiles. “I know. It’s cool. This feels right. Feels like we’ve been building up to this since I moved in next door.”