by Elena Lawson
It took me all of a heartbeat to realize how this looked.
I knew Jared had run here in wolf form. That was why he was carrying clothes with him. That was why his jeans were barely on and his warm, solid chest was bare.
But that wasn’t what others would see…
Jared glared at the place where Devin stood in the doorway, his upper lip curling back into a snarl. “What did he do to you?” Jared hissed.
I shoved his chest back and he barely moved, but his glare broke and he focused his gaze on me, confused. “Go,” I urged him, breathless as I heard Devin’s descent down the steps and onto the lawn. “Go!” I whisper shouted a little louder, trying to get through to him.
Jared was barefoot, with his jean all but falling from his hips. He was shirtless and his clothes were in a pile on the ground. He was with a girl in the woods, and the girl had screamed.
It didn’t matter what I said now to defend him. I knew what it looked like and Jared’s eyes widened as he finally figured out why I was urging him to fucking move.
“I won’t leave you with him, it isn’t safe.”
“No fucking shit,” I managed, still shoving his stupid hard chest without being able to move him more than an inch at a goddamned time. Damn, it was like trying to shove a man-sized block of cement. “Get the fuck out of here, Jared.”
“No.”
“I’ll get inside. I won’t stay out here alone with him, now go,” I urged him as I saw Devin stalking toward the trees, his head lifting as though he caught the scent of me on the air. A group of a few people followed behind him, wondering what all the fuss was about. “Look, he isn’t alone. Go around to the front and meet me inside,” I added, thinking maybe the suggestion might make him move if nothing else did.
Jared tore his gaze away from Devin and his jaw flared as he clenched his teeth. “If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”
Jared backed away and shifted in the blink of an eye. One second he was man, the next he was wolf. Somewhere in there he’d managed to pull down his pants and avoid shredding them to denim ribbons and I somehow managed to be both relieved and a little disappointed I hadn’t caught it. The enormous white wolf flashed its amber eyes at me before it lifted the pile of clothing into its mouth and sprinted away into the dark, like a white streak of lightning through an inky sky.
But I was still reeling from what he’d said to wrap my mind around the fact that this time I’d actually watched as a man became a wolf. In the same breath. In the same heartbeat. If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.
It was what my father had said to me when I had my first date. Bobby and I were only fifteen. He was taking me to see a movie at the park.
My eyes stung at the memory.
It seemed so unlike Jared to say something so insidious. It was something I would expect to come from the foul mouth of Clay, not the sweet, sensitive Jared. But when he’d said those words, there had been no trace of doubt in his gaze. He’d meant it. And I believed him.
My pulse was still pounding when Devin found me standing there dumbstruck with my breath clouding the air in front of my face.
“Allie.”
I flinched away from his touch and stumbled back, shaking off the gloss of incredulity and almost falling in my haste to get away from him. “Don’t touch me,” I managed before I bumped into someone else.
Her name was Mandy—she was super drunk, but I knew her, she was in my Philosophy class. “Are you, like, okay?” she trilled in her high-pitched nasally voice. “Devin said he heard you screaming.”
I didn’t know how the hell he could have heard me. I distinctly remembered closing the door behind me and the music in there was too loud to hear the person next to you, never mind what was going on fifty feet away outside.
Someone must have opened the damned window.
Fuck, Allie, why did you have to scream?
“Babe, look at me,” Devin said, reaching for me again with a crease between his brows and a worried depth in his gaze. Fake. All of it was fake. He didn’t fucking care about what happened to me. He couldn’t. Not after what he did to me, himself. “Did someone hurt you?”
Did someone hurt me?
He had to be fucking with me.
Maybe it was the tequila still lingering in my bloodstream, or maybe it was the fact that I wasn’t alone out here with him, already a group was forming near the back door of the house and I could see Layla and Viv hustling out onto the back lawn.
But no matter what sparked it, what I was feeling was pure rage and I couldn’t contain it any longer. The fucking audacity.
“Did someone hurt me?” I repeated the question back to him, urging him to see his colossal mistake in asking me such a rhetorical question.
Devin’s eyes flashed at me in warning, his gaze darkened.
I didn’t care.
“Yeah,” I spat, twisting out of Mandy’s clammy grasp. “You did, asshole.”
My chest ached at the admission and something in my heart snapped. “You did,” I whispered again, and my voice broke.
The warning in Devin’s eyes vanished and his face fell. The devilish Devin I’d seen him a moment before gone and replaced by the one I knew. “I…”
“Save it.”
He stepped forward. “I’m so sorry, Allie, I—”
“Just leave me alone,” I managed through the bleary haze of tears coating my eyes, rushing to meet Viv and Layla halfway across the lawn.
Viv folded me under her wing and Layla wrapped an arm around my other side, the pair of them effectively shielding me from the prying eyes of the drunken students watching from all sides.
“Fucking prick!” Viv snarled back at Devin over her shoulder and I flinched, imagining how many eyes would be turning on him with accusing stares.
I couldn’t help myself, just before we reached the door, I turned, catching a glimpse of Devin standing with his face pinched and hands like talons at his sides.
He wasn’t looking at me, though, he was looking back into the trees, to where I could just make out the gleaming white of Jared’s converse sneakers discarded against the brackish leaves on the ground.
12
I told Thompson I was sorry for making a scene on our way out the door. I also told him that if he saw Jared to tell him I was leaving with Viv and Layla. I was about done with the stupid party. I could explain to Jared later.
I hadn’t even had a single drink and yet somehow, I still managed to ruin the whole night.
It was law in my life; that every good thing had to be paid for by at least one bad thing. It was like I wasn’t allowed to be too happy. Not able to be relieved for any length of time. The beef karma had with me would be everlasting. To be paid in installments over the course of my existence.
It was only fair, since I’d taken life, I had to pay for it with great big awful chunks of my own. I’d accepted this a long time ago.
“You’re sure nothing happened?” Layla asked for the second time as she rubbed warmth into my arms in the backseat of the uber. “Someone said Devin heard you screaming.”
I shook my head. “I just freaked myself out,” I lied. “I thought I saw something in the woods.”
“It’s wolves,” the driver chimed in. It wasn’t the same one as earlier. This one I didn’t know. His eyes flitted to meet mine in the rearview. He was old with silver eyebrows and crinkled brown eyes.
“Wolves?” Viv asked with a raised brow from the front seat, her tone doubtful.
“I saw one out there last summer. Giant sucker,” the driver said, his tone now defensive, knowing he was being mocked. “I saw it. I know what I saw. Best you young girls stick indoors.”
“Right,” Viv replied to him, drawing out the word. “We’ll definitely watch out for those giant wolves.”
She twirled her finger against her temple when he wasn’t looking, and Layla stifled a giggle. I, however, was paying attention. I was about to ask the guy where he’s seen the wolf—what color it was—when Viv’s han
d snaked into the backseat and patted my lap. “You sure that’s all it was?”
I nodded, unable to utter another lie tonight. I just wanted to go to sleep.
The driver pulled up in front of Viv’s house and I heard a loud groan that made me squint out the window to see what she was so upset by.
Her dad’s truck was there. And by the look of the smashed rear left taillight, he’d driven it home drunk.
“You can sleep on my couch?” Layla offered with a shrug. None of us ever talked about Viv’s asshat of a sperm-donor, we didn’t have to. It was universally acknowledged that he was a dick no one wanted to be around if they didn’t have to. We didn’t need to hash out the details.
“Can I come too?” Viv whined as the front door creaked open and her father staggered out onto the front step.
“Hey, get out of my driveway,” Mr. Cole yelled, shaking a fist at our uber.
“It’s me, dad!” Viv called.
“Vivian?”
A pause.
“The hell you been? Get in before I let all the hot air out,” he hollered, taking another swig of his beer as he swayed back into the house.
Viv bowed her head. “I better go before he gets pissy. There’s no stopping him once he starts ranting. You going to be okay at Layla’s?” she asked me, the spark in her eyes suddenly diminished.
“Yeah. Of course.”
“That may not be necessary…” Layla trailed off as her and I stepped out of the uber and the driver sped away from the house with the crazy drunk guy. I followed Layla’s gaze and found a white Jeep was pulling to a stop on the opposite side of the street. The window rolled down and Jared’s face appeared as he leaned over toward the window.
“Want a ride home?” He called, and my heart lifted at the sight of him, and at the prospect of not having to wake up with Layla’s seven younger brothers and sisters crawling all over me on my Sunday morning off work.
“Did he follow us here?” Layla whispered harshly. She squeezed my hand, holding me back where he couldn’t see. “And is he actually going to give you a ride all the way back to the city right now? It’s after midnight.”
I batted her hand away playfully. “I told Thompson to tell him I was spending the night at Viv’s, remember?” I purposefully ignored the second part of her question.
But even the first part wasn’t entirely true. I had only said I was spending the night with Layla and Viv. I hadn’t told him which house we would be sleeping at. And I definitely didn’t tell him where Viv lived. But it was a small town and wouldn’t be so difficult to figure out. Viv and her family had always lived in the small bungalow on Glenwood Drive.
“Just a sec!” I called to Jared, who nodded before turning back to the front and rolling up the window.
“You really don’t like him, do you?” I asked Layla, tilting my head to better see her expression under the single street lamp set ten yards away on Viv’s street.
“Do you?” she asked me.
I fumbled for a response, glancing back at the idling Jeep.
“Oh my god, you do!”
“I—”
“I say go for it,” Viv chimed in, already making her way to the ajar front door of her house so her dad didn’t have a reason to come back out and embarrass her even more in front of her friends. “He’s hot.”
“Vivian!”
She turned and ran up the last two steps, hollering back, “Later bitches,” before she vanished inside.
“Come on,” I told Layla, jerking my head toward the Jeep. “I’ll ask him to give you a ride home, too.”
Layla didn’t live far from Viv, but I didn’t want her walking alone, not tonight.
I could already tell she was about to refuse, so I rushed to add. “It’s freezing out here and I’m not going to let you walk.” I took her hand and dragged her over to the Jeep and opened the door to the backseat.
She was positively rigid, but when I told Jared he needed to give her a ride home too and he didn’t bat an eye, she reluctantly hopped into the cab.
I jumped in the front seat and rubbed my hands together, trying to get some warmth back into my prickling fingertips.
Jared cranked the heat and positioned the heaters to point at me. I shivered as hot air rushed over my icy hands and began to thaw my bones.
“Thanks,” I muttered as he pulled away from the side of the road.
He didn’t respond, instead tilting his head back to Layla. “You still live on Brown?”
Layla cleared her throat. “Um…yeah. 34 Brown near the corner of Stanley.”
She didn’t seem to be surprised that he knew where she lived, and I wondered why. I looked between her and Jared, thinking I could sense something off between them, but not sure exactly what it was I was sensing.
Jared took Stanley down to Brown and turned left onto her street. The air in the Jeep was stale and quiet as we drove. In an attempt to make conversation, I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat and lamely said, “Well that was an interesting night.”
“Yeah,” Jared replied.
“Mhmm,” Layla murmured, then she inhaled sharply, and I saw her shift in my peripherals. “So,” she began, drawing out the word and I thought I knew what she was going to say, but I wasn’t fast enough to stop her. “What exactly are your intentions with my friend?”
“Lala!” I barked, whirling to give her a pointed glare. Her old nickname had just slipped out of habit.
Jared’s hands tightened on the wheel. I was too worried to look at the expression on his face. “Uh…” he said. “Well I—”
“Oh, look, we’re here,” I said interrupting him as we pulled up to Layla’s house. The moment the Jeep stopped, I unfastened my seatbelt and climbed out, ripping Layla’s door open—ready to drag her from the vehicle if I had to. “Time for you to go home, mom.”
Layla got out without a fuss, but not before she turned back to Jared and said ominously, “I’ll be watching you.”
I made a strangled sound in the back of my throat and dragged her the rest of the way out of the Jeep and slammed the door. “Can you be any more embarrassing?” I said in a high-pitched tone as I walked her up to her door.
“It’s not too late you know. My couch is just inside. You can stay—”
I groaned. I’d almost rather stay here now if only to avoid the awkward ride back to the cabin. But… “No. I should go home. The buses don’t run tomorrow. But thanks for making sure I have a super awkward ride.”
She shrugged innocently, brushing her long dark hair back from her doe eyes. “Your welcome.”
I tipped my head back in frustration, but when she came in for a hug, I hugged her back. I wanted to tell her that Jared wasn’t the enemy—that if she got a bad feeling about someone, it should’ve been Devin. But I couldn’t tell her that. She would blame herself for not paying closer attention. Her and Viv both would.
“Night,” she said just as a light turned on inside the dark house. I really hoped it wasn’t our fault that one of her siblings had woken up.
Layla sighed. “I should get in and get whoever that is back to bed before they wake up mom and dad.”
I nodded. “See you Monday.”
She eyed the Jeep one last time before she stepped inside. “Text me when you get home?”
I shook my head at her but nodded. “I will.”
Like a total creep, she put two fingers up to her eyes and then pointed them at Jared in a silent reminder that she would be watching. I shoved her hand down and pushed her inside, hoping Jared hadn’t been looking.
She giggled as I pulled the door closed and I blushed like a maniac on my way back to the Jeep.
13
Jared was smirking when I tucked myself back into his Jeep.
He kept glancing at me as we started the drive to the edge of town and the invisible trail he seemed to have memorized that lead to the cabin in the woods.
“So,” he began, and I knew where he was going—what he would ask.
&nb
sp; Suddenly, the idea of asking him the questions that’d been burning in my mind for the past few days didn’t seem so daunting. Having that conversation was a hell of a lot better than having the one he was about to try to have.
I didn’t need him asking me why Layla would ask him what his intentions were. Or why Viv told me to go for it. Even though the window was rolled up at that point, I had no doubt that his canine ears had heard her.
“So, I’ve been thinking about it,” I eeked out in a pitchy voice, cutting him off before he could continue with no remorse. “And I do have some questions for you.” I reached for the half-empty bottle of water in the cup holder between us. “Do you mind?” I asked him.
He pouted his bottom lip and shrugged. “No. Go ahead.”
I took a swig of his water to clear my throat.
“So, shoot,” he said after a moment. “What is it you want to know.”
Thankful that he’d dropped the former topic, I racked my brain for all the questions I’d been gathering there since I’d first realized he was a wolf. I came up empty handed.
“Uh…”
I watched Jared’s brow raise from my periphery and scrambled for something. Anything. The moon outside caught my gaze. It was big and round in the sky, lighting the way along the back-country road we were driving. It had to be almost full. Maybe only days away.
I gulped. “Do you have to turn during a full moon?”
Jared shifted in his seat and I watched his jaw clench. Shit. Was that the wrong thing to ask?
“Y—you don’t have to answer—”
He shook his head almost imperceptibly, never taking his eyes from the road. “No, it’s alright. The simple answer to that is yes.”
“And the complicated answer?”
He seemed to consider something before responding, deciding how to best explain something. I waited with my fingers clasped tightly in my lap, chewing my bottom lip. “Your myths and legends and fairytales. They are all steeped in truths. But it’s like…it’s been diluted. The bag has been used too many times. And then people add their own flavor to it. Cream and sugar. Vanilla syrup…”