by Sam Mariano
“Who’s Carly?”
“I’m Carly,” I offer, though I’m none too friendly. This is Rafe? This is Vince’s cousin who possibly date-raped Mia in Vegas? He shouldn’t look like this! And he needs to stay far away from my sister.
Rafe is unshaken by my unfriendliness. He releases my sister’s hand and takes a seat beside her, telling me it’s a pleasure to meet me. I do not echo the sentiment.
“Carly is Vince’s girlfriend,” Mia explains, almost proudly.
Rafe cocks an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Nice work, little cousin.”
“Yes, it’s a great achievement to have a girlfriend,” Vince shoots back.
Rafe offers a smile, tinged with something unpleasant I can’t quite put a name to. “Well, you didn’t have to kidnap this one, right? So we’ll call it an achievement.”
Okay, so they’re probably not great friends.
“Wait, what?” Laurel looks so confused. Oh, this is so bad. Poor Laurel. She’s going to have so many questions, and she obviously does not know about Vince’s questionable past. She doesn’t even know about my questionable past.
This is a fucking disaster.
Before I can come up with a way to tell her “we’ll have to talk about it later” without alarming her, Rafe settles a hand over hers on the table and leans in. “Will you do me a favor?”
“Yes,” Laurel replies, rather adamantly, without finding out what it might be first.
Rafe rewards her with a warm smile. Laurel sighs like a cartoon bimbo in Beauty and the Beast, fawning over Gaston. “These inconsiderate assholes served the wine before I got here. Go grab the bottle from the kitchen and pour me a glass.”
“Okay.”
I gape in mild horror as my brilliant sister rises like a Stepford Wife and heads to a kitchen she’s never been to in search of a wine bottle she hasn’t seen.
Mia pushes back her chair, shaking her head at Rafe. “Use your powers for good, not evil.”
“I am,” he objects, innocently.
Mia shakes her head again and heads for the kitchen to help Laurel find the wine.
Mateo waits until his wife is out of sight to grin at Rafe. “I’m so glad you could make it, Rafe.”
Chapter Twenty Eight
Vince
Operation keep Vince away from Mia has been abandoned.
My partner has jumped ship.
I sort of get why, though. Rafe toyed with Laurel all through dinner, and Laurel put up about as much resistance as a bachelor fending off a free lap dance. Laurel is all smiles, all night long. Instead of returning to our bedroom after dinner, Rafe tells Laurel he wants to go for a swim, tells her to join him.
I know what that bastard gets up to in pools, so even if Carly didn’t insist on going with them, I would have.
“Can we go, too?” Mia asks Mateo.
And that’s how the triple date from Hell begins.
It’s too cold to go outside, but the indoor pool is heated and maintained year-round. Laurel and Carly don’t have swimsuits, but Mia assures them both she has several she’s never even taken the tag off of and she whisks them away to her walk-in closet.
“What’s your game?” I ask Rafe, as soon as they’re gone.
“Blackjack,” he deadpans.
“Why are you paying attention to Laurel?” I nod at Mateo. “Did you do this? Why?”
Mateo shrugs. “Free entertainment? Live a little, Vince.”
“I live plenty. I don’t mess with people to have fun.”
“He’s so boring,” Mateo tells Rafe.
Rafe smirks, walking over to the poolside alcohol cart and pouring himself a drink.
The girls come back, all three of them in barely there bikinis. Of course. Why would Mateo buy Mia a bikini that covered anything up? Apparently she’s pregnant again, but it must be early because I sure can’t tell. Her body looks the way it looked to me back when I used to sleep with it curled up beside me in bed.
Fuck, that is a tiny bikini.
Now her tiny bikini-clad body sways over to Mateo. She wraps her arms around his neck and he slides his hands under her ass, lifting her up. Her legs lock around his waist and she kisses him like they’re on their fucking honeymoon.
This already sucks ass.
Instead of doing anything remotely like that, my own hot girlfriend is hovering over Laurel, trying to keep her away from my other predatory cousin. The problem is, Laurel is not remotely interested in her protection. As soon as Rafe takes his shirt off, Laurel’s scientific brain seems to shut down. When he gives her an intimate smile and crooks his finger at her, she abandons Carly and goes to the hot tub with Rafe.
Carly comes over and grabs my arm, dragging me along with her.
The only good thing about the hot tub is that apparently Mia can’t get in it, so she and Mateo stay in the pool and play by themselves. The bad thing about that is Carly is singularly focused on babysitting her sister so she’s not paying any attention to me. My gaze automatically keeps drifting to Mia and Mateo. It’s shitty watching him corner her in the pool, watching her smile up at him like he hung the moon. Then he kisses her until I’m not entirely sure they’re not fucking. I didn’t see anyone remove bottoms, but she’s so fucking enraptured as he buries his face in her neck and pushes against her, I can’t be sure.
I force myself to look away. My head lolls back miserably. This is torture.
They must not have full-on fucked, because after all that foreplay, he drags her out of the pool and Mia calls, “We’ll be back!”
Rafe is smirking when I finally bring my attention back to the present company. “You all right there, bud?”
“Fucking fantastic,” I tell him, pushing up out of the water.
Carly looks up at me uncertainly.
“I’m gonna grab a drink,” I tell her.
She bites her lip, torn between following me and babysitting Laurel.
Laurel wins.
I nurse the drink for a while, looking around the pool and thinking of old times. Cherie taught me how to swim in this pool. Her methods were untraditional, but somehow effective. We were about 8, Maria must have taught her. She warmed me up by making me follow her around the edge of the pool, hanging onto the side since my feet couldn’t touch the pool floor. Cherie pushed off the edge and crossed the pool a few times, showing off all the strokes she learned. Once I witnessed her doing it, she decided that should be sufficient instruction and she told me to let go and do what she did. I told her I didn’t know how, and she said, “Sure you do, you just watched me do it.”
Whether her confidence or her logic persuaded me to try, I can’t say, but I launched off the pool wall and flailed my way across the pool. I didn’t drown, so we called it a success.
“Oh, my lord.” There’s a sound of people quickly abandoning water, then Laurel comes rushing past me, hearts in her eyes as she heads away from Rafe and toward… me?
Nope, she breezes right past me. I turn and see Mia and Mateo have come back, and this time, they have Dom in the tiniest pair of red swim shorts imaginable.
“He’s so tiny!” Laurel says, stopping to gaze lovingly at Dom.
Carly comes over and rests a hand on my shoulder. “How do you feel about sleeping on the couch tonight?”
“Opposed,” I state, looking over at her.
“I feel like Laurel needs to stay the night with us. Your charming cousin is staying the night, right?”
“I would assume so. He lives in Vegas, so he can’t go home and come back.”
Carly nods decisively. “Then we force Laurel to sleep with us.”
“Remember how we felt weird with your polygamous Christmas photos? I think it would be weirder to sleep together in the same room. You’re supposed to be keeping me on track, not Laurel.”
“I know, but Lex is an evil bastard.”
“Lex?”
“That’s my new nickname for your cousin. He’s the Lex Luthor to your Clark Kent. We need to binge watch Smallville again, a
s an aside.”
“I vehemently disagree with that last statement. I watched it with you once; that should be sufficient proof of my love.”
Carly rolls her eyes. “Oh, whatever, you love it.”
“I don’t.”
“It’s your favorite show.”
“Not even close.”
Rafe finally sidles up beside us, adjusting his swim shorts on his hips. Laurel is fawning over the baby but he’s still in pursuit, so he comes up behind her, bracing one hand at the small of her back to alert her of his presence and using his other to reach out and rub Dom’s arm. “Hey there, little guy.”
“Isn’t he the cutest?” Laurel enthuses.
“He’s pretty damn cute.” Rafe slides a look over at Laurel, then back at Mia. He holds his hand out. “All right, hand him over.”
“Seriously?” Mia asks, lightly amused.
“I just want to visit with my little… what, second cousin?”
“If not son,” Carly mutters.
I snort.
“What’s that now?” Rafe asks. Glancing back at Mateo, he says, “We settled that already, didn’t we?”
“We sure did,” Mateo murmurs, looking faintly amused.
“I thought so.”
“I don’t understand,” Laurel says, frowning slightly.
“Here you go,” Mateo says, taking Dom from Mia and handing him to Rafe.
Each lady melts a little as Rafe settles Dom against his chest, looking down at him and murmuring, “Hey, little guy. How’s life treating you so far?”
Laurel takes the opportunity to get closer, holding onto Rafe’s arm while she leans in and says hello to Rafe’s well-formed pecs and the cute baby he is blatantly using as a prop.
Carly emerges from the estrogen fog first, leaning in and telling me, “We have to put a stop to this. We have to take Laurel and retreat. Now Dom and Mia are here to torture you, Rafe is here trying to seduce my sister—we have to abort mission and get the hell out of here. How do you disengage your cousin once he’s executing a plan? Should I literally lie down on the floor and show him my belly? Assure him he’s the alpha dog and I shouldn’t have challenged him?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think you can. Once he’s locked onto a target, that’s it. There’s no disengaging him.”
Rafe’s hand is on Laurel’s lower back at this point. She’s leaning her head on his chest while Dom touches her face.
Aw, shit.
My kid’s totally helping him butter her up.
Mateo is amused by the show.
Fuck all this.
I walk over to break the spell, reaching for Dom. “Come here, little troublemaker.”
Laurel moves back to make room for me, but the spell is not broken. Not at all. If anything, it’s worse. Now that Rafe’s arms are open, Laurel moves right into them. I expect him to make a move if anyone’s going to, but she loops her arms around his neck, pushes up on her tiptoes, and kisses him, right there in front of all of us.
Carly’s jaw falls open.
Rafe’s arms tighten around her waist and he tugs her close, slanting his mouth and kissing her back, not even a little bit shy about having an audience.
He pulls back, smiling down at Laurel. “You ready to leave the pool?”
“Yep,” Laurel replies, without hesitation.
“Laurel, wait.” Carly tugs her sister away from Rafe, shooting him dirty looks, and brings her over by me. “Come stay with us tonight. Vince is going to take the couch, you can sleep in the bed with me—”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” Laurel says.
“He wants to sleep with you,” Carly states, eyes wide.
“Yes, I was able to figure that out on my own, but thanks for the help. Now let go of my wrist before he changes his mind.”
“Laurel, no. He’s bad news.”
“I don’t care what kind of news he is. The hottest man I’ve ever seen in my life wants to have a one night stand with me. The answer is yes, a thousand times yes.”
“He’s just using you.”
“Yes, it’s a mutual agreement. We’re going to use each other for sex and it will hopefully be awesome. Even if it’s not, he’s still the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, so I don’t even care.”
“This is a bad idea,” I tell Laurel, to back Carly up.
“It’s the best bad idea I’ve ever had,” Laurel states, shrugging her sister off and abandoning common sense to go back to Rafe’s side. He rewards her with a smile, moves his hand to the small of her back, and nods at Mateo and Mia as he walks her out.
Carly watches, horrified. I half expect her to run after them and wrench her sister away from my promiscuous cousin, but she doesn’t.
Finally, she looks at Mateo. “Please call him off. Please? I’m sorry I challenged you. I unchallenge you. Don’t let your horrible cousin seduce my sister.”
“It’s out of my hands,” Mateo informs her. “She’s already seduced.”
“My sister is a nice person!”
“If it makes you feel any better, Rafe’s really not that bad,” Mia assures Carly. “He tends to attract women like bees to a honeycomb, but he’s actually not a bad guy, all things considered. If she’s down for a one night stand, she’ll have a good time.”
I quirk an eyebrow at the confidence with which she says that. “Will she, now?”
Mia flushes, ignoring my remark, but coming over to talk to Dom. “Everybody is playing hot potato with my baby, huh? How are you doing over here, honey bun? You wanna go in the pool with Momma?”
Dom grins and reaches for her. She beams and lifts him out of my arms, then snuggles him against her chest, giving him a kiss. “We’re going to take Dom in the pool. Anyone who wants to come play is welcome to join.”
Chapter Twenty Nine
Vince
“Don’t do it, Lana! You don’t really like Lex, you’re mentally compromised!”
I glance back at my crazy girlfriend as she sits in the floor, advising a fictional character on a show that aired years ago not to follow the plot.
“Don’t be crazy,” Laurel says, handing me the bottled water she brought and breezing past me. I close my bedroom door and make my way back to the couch. Laurel sits on the floor beside Carly instead of sitting on the couch next to me.
“Oh, thank God, you brought sustenance.” Carly grabs the bottle water Laurel brought up for her, as well as a fistful of popcorn.
“You started the episode without me. You’re a monster. You know Lexana is my ship.”
“I’ve decided to abandon the ship,” Carly states. “I can no longer support Lana’s romantic interest in this villainous individual.”
“You’re cracked. They’re meant to be. Go grow corn and leave Lana alone, Clark.”
Carly sighs, letting her head fall back against my legs. “Your cousin has ruined my life.”
“Join the club,” I tell her.
Laurel rolls her eyes. “You’re being incredibly dramatic. You’re still allowed to want Lex and Lana to fall madly in love. If you don’t, we have irreconcilable shipper differences and I can’t watch this show with you anymore.”
“Lex is a selfish asshole and I hate him.” Lifting her head, she turns to regard Laurel, her gaze slowly moving over Laurel’s body.
“Are you checking for love bites?” Laurel asks, proudly yanking the neck of her big sweater out and showing her collar bone. “I actually got some.”
Carly sighs. “He marked you.”
Laurel nods happily. “It was super hot. Nerve endings I thought long dead were resurrected. It was an Easter miracle.”
Carly sighs. “My little baby sister is all grown up. You survived a one night stand with a Morelli. I’m not sure if I should be proud or horrified.”
“Is that usually a trial of some kind? Did I survive an ordeal? Do I get a sticker?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had a one night stand with a Morelli; I bought the subscription package. They’re a lot of trouble i
n general, though. I think you should get something out of it. Vince, are there prizes of some sort?”
I lean down and grab a handful of popcorn. “Typically we ruin your life once you fuck us, but I think you’re okay with Rafe. He doesn’t get attached.”
“Was he nice to you?” Carly asks.
Laurel sighs blissfully, leaning back against the couch. “So nice.”
I grimace. “Do I have to hear this?”
“Yeah?” Carly asks, ignoring me. “Sometimes when they look like that, they’re lazy as fuck. I’m glad that wasn’t the case.”
“Nope. I think I became a woman last night.”
Carly snorts. “You’ve had sex before.”
Laurel shakes her head, grabbing some popcorn. “I’m not sure I have anymore. I think now I have to go back and retroactively void all sexual interactions that happened prior to last night. I’ve been doing sex wrong. Or, the guys have. I don’t know, but someone somewhere has dropped the ball in all my previous sexual encounters. I thought I was having average sex, but I have doubts now. Maybe I was having bad sex.”
“Definitely, definitely do not want to hear any of this,” I say again.
They both ignore me. “What do you mean, bad?” Carly asks. “Like, unskilled?”
“Like, I thought my body was just weird and that’s why the lazy assholes almost never gave me an orgasm. Turns out, I can have three in a single sexual encounter.”
I grimace, standing and walking away. “This is my room. Why do I have to hear this?”
“So yeah, I have a new standard,” Laurel announces. “If you can’t figure out how to give me at least one orgasm, no more sex for you, you lazy fucking asshole.”
Carly uncaps her water, grinning. “Wow. I didn’t realize you had such shitty sex before. Maybe I’m slightly less mad at Lex.”
“What does Lex have to do with any of this?” Laurel questions.
“It’s my nickname for Vince’s cousin, Mateo. The one you met last night. He’s all diabolical and shit. He brought Rafe here early and sent him after you just to be an asshole.”
“Well, tell him I said thank you and I owe him a pan of brookies.”