by Sam Mariano
Fuck this asshole.
Laurel’s brain has given up the good fight. She looks up at him with a semi-adoring smile and he rewards her with a brief kiss on the lips.
Once he and his men leave us and head for Mateo, Carly brings a hand up and theatrically knocks on Laurel’s head. “Hello? Anyone in there?”
Laurel swats her hand away. “Hey, it’s still technically Easter break. I’m having an Easter fling. This still counts.”
“When you were having an Easter fling, you thought you were banging some dangerous gangster’s muscle, not the guy calling the shots.”
Laurel points an accusing finger my way. “Vince said I could. He basically asked me to do it. You heard him.”
“I said if it seemed like he might kill me,” I specify.
Laurel nods confidently. “And I picked up distinctly murderous vibes when he was over here.” Laurel presses a hand dramatically to her heart, her face solemn. “It’s a sacrifice that someone had to make for your physical well-being, and I am graciously submitting myself as the sacrificial lamb. You’re welcome.”
I shake my head at her, but Carly’s disapproving sigh carries more weight than anything I could say.
“He calls you kitten?” Carly mutters.
“It’s sexier when we aren’t wearing clothes and his voice is all gravelly, but to be honest, I like it regardless.” Then she adds brightly, “Besides, I’ve never been to Vegas.”
---
More forced socialization follows the funeral itself. Mateo holds the wake at his house. If any of the Vegas Morellis or the men associated suspect Mateo of killing my dad in retaliation, they all know better than to say a word. Rafe and Mateo remain chummy, but it starts to make a little more sense to me now. After my father helped me kidnap and hide Mia, I should have known he would top Mateo’s hit list. Mateo didn’t have a foot to stand on in Vegas, but he has a lot of man power—and a lot of power, in general. Rafe has all the Vegas in influence that Mateo didn’t have, but he couldn’t kill or displace my father and keep the allegiance of all his men.
I provided them a bridge. Mia brought them back into the same orbit. Now that they’re not as young and ornery, they don’t hate one another over some girl neither of them ever really cared about. Now they can put that aside, apparently, and work together to help each other out.
Mateo called Mia his best diplomat. Now as she holds onto Mateo’s arm and smiles pleasantly at whatever Rafe is saying, I see it. Mateo wages war, Mia tries to keep the peace, and when it benefits him to do so, he can unleash her on his opponent and lets her wreak her special brand of havoc.
I guess men like Mateo know how to contain her in a way I never did.
She only wreaks havoc on me.
He told me once I couldn’t handle Mia and that seemed absurd. Mia doesn’t strike you as the kind of woman who’s hard to handle. She’s not demanding or aggressive; she won’t hand your ass to you if you fuck with her. She’s loving and kind, soft and forgiving. You show her your ugliness; she accepts it and loves you anyway, all while managing to stay true to herself. The hardest thing about Mia is accepting that she’s not some sacrificial lamb. She’s somehow happy living in the dark with the monsters, even though she’s all light.
Love as pure as Mia’s is a rarity in the world of power and corruption I was born into. As with most rare things, powerful men will shed blood and wage wars to possess it. To possess her.
As if to reinforce my thought, Mateo’s former powerful enemy Rafe grabs Mia’s shoulder and pulls her in so he can place another affectionate kiss on top of her head. She wraps her arms around his torso and gives him a warm hug. Next, Mateo nods at him and they shake hands.
He must be leaving.
“You’re staring, babe.”
I turn my head to look at Carly. She’s smiling pleasantly, unbothered by the tie I can’t seem to cut to my old life. To the woman who will raise my son without me.
I know it’s shitty, I just can’t help it.
I take Carly’s hand and twine our fingers together. “I’m sorry.”
“No biggie,” she tells me, leaning her head against my arm. “We’re almost out. Everything will go back to normal once we leave the bubble of toxicity.”
I smile faintly, pulling her in front of me so I can tug her hips against mine. “You’re wonderful.”
She nods like she agrees. “You owe me so many milkshakes, it’s not even funny.”
“How about a house?” I counter.
Her eyes light up. “Really?”
I nod my head, reaching a hand up and tucking a chunk of blonde hair behind her ears. “Why not? Better than an apartment. I can even set up some security on the place to make myself feel better.”
Carly grins at me. “Are you jealous of your cousin’s creeper cave? You just have to have one of your own?”
“I don’t want a creeper cave,” I assure her. “I can make sure you have your craft room, though.”
“I can make so many holiday wreaths.”
I nod my head. “And a room for Laurel, when she wants to visit. A guest room for Cherie.”
“For next Easter. Maybe even this Christmas. Oh! What kind of mug should we get Cherie?”
I smirk. “I’ll let you and Laurel figure it out.”
“I’m gonna get Laurel a mug that says, ‘I kissed a Morelli and I liked it.’”
“You can get matching mugs, then. You like kissing your Morelli, too.”
She smiles fondly, grabbing my tie and pulling me in for a kiss. “I sure do.”
Chapter Thirty Three
Vince
A strong hand lands on my shoulder, squeezing to get my attention. I turn back and see Adrian, a man I once considered a friend. Now, I shrug off his hand and turn, already guarded.
“What do you want?” I demand.
Adrian’s eyebrows rise. “It’s what you want. You requested an audience with Mateo.”
I can’t help scoffing. “An audience? He’s not a fucking king.”
Adrian shakes his head at me. “Don’t be bitter just because he stole your princess, Vince.”
Carly wraps a protective arm around my side. “He found a new one; he’s just fine.” She springs naturally to my defense, but I can see mild confusion in her eyes when she looks at me. I never got around to telling her about the plan I hatched last night when I told Mateo I needed to talk to him, so she didn’t know I asked to speak to him. Mia circumvented the plan when she hauled me in the bathroom and told me not to take the bait, so I didn’t need to tell Carly.
I do still need to tell him about Meg, though, so I pull Carly’s arm from around my waist, giving her hand a squeeze. “I have to go talk to him real quick. I’ll be right back.”
“Be... calm,” she says, for lack of better advice.
I leave Carly and walk with Adrian down the haunted halls I grew up in, toward the man I’ve come to hate more than any other man alive. Tension tightens my muscles, the blood in my anger heating. Carly just told me to stay calm, but it’s impossible to be calm around him. Mia’s words to me last night spring to mind, reminding me this is his last chance to goad me into fucking up. He’s probably going to hit me with all he’s got since there are no witnesses. What can he do to me that he hasn’t already, though? What can he say to me that hasn’t echoed off the walls of my brain for years?
I look over at Adrian, like I’ll get some indication of what waits for me inside, but Adrian is expressionless. A good fucking soldier, like all the rest.
Adrian turns the knob and pushes open the door to Mateo’s study.
I step inside, my eyes drawn to the imposing figure Mateo cuts, standing by his beverage cart, pouring himself a drink. He hears me come in, so he pours me one, too.
With his back still to me, Mateo tells Adrian, “You can go.”
Adrian is understandably reluctant to leave. “You want me to go?”
Mateo turns back with both glasses. “Yes. I can handle Vince on my own.”<
br />
“All right.” Adrian still sounds mildly surprised, but he nods and backs out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Mateo waves me over, indicating the chair in front of his desk. He sets my glass down there and walks around to the other side, dropping into his chair and leaning forward, holding his arms on top of the desk.
“Now, tell me what it is we need to talk about.”
Seeing him here like this, imposing, composed, unbothered by me, makes me feel like a kid again. An angry, lonely, sad fucking kid. It makes me think of the day I sat in this desk and he told me about the job I would do, my first hit. That wasn’t my job. I was only 18. I didn’t want to, but he wanted me to dip my toes into all aspects of the business. He wanted me to break in and steal something first, then he wanted me to clean up the mess afterward. My first job solo, but with Adrian for training wheels.
The house next door to Mia’s.
Of all the ways I thought that job might ruin me, I never anticipated it would end this way.
Since I haven’t spoken, Mateo lifts a dark eyebrow. “What’s on your mind, Vince?”
“I was just thinking about when I was younger. How many times I wished I had a way out of this family.”
Mateo offers a faint nod. “You found one.”
“The price was too high,” I murmur, my gaze dropping to his desk.
“The price is always high,” he states, without sympathy. “It has to be.”
I can’t look at him. I don’t mean to ask, but the words creep out of my heart and fall out of my mouth without my permission. “Do you love her?”
He doesn’t answer right away. It’s almost certain he won’t answer at all. After a few beats of heavy silence, though, he surprises me by saying, “More than anything.”
My head bobs, but without any instruction from my mind. In a way, that makes me feel better. I know I’m responsible for bringing her into his crosshairs to begin with and it would be unbearable to think he captured her, possesses her love, and only views her as some kind of trophy. I felt like she was just his trophy. It makes it slightly easier if she’s not.
“So do I.” Those words slip out too, but I think they hurt me more than they could ever hurt him. I don’t want to love Mia. I don’t want her to own even a small corner of my heart, but she still does.
It makes me feel immeasurable guilt. I want to be able to give Carly my whole heart, every single inch of it, but Mia hasn’t given it all back. Now Dom owns a piece of real estate there. My heart was tattered when I gave it to Carly, and though it’s in better shape now, a tattered heart can never be stitched back together quite the way it was at the start.
“You love the idea of Mia,” Mateo tells me. “I love the reality of her.”
“I don’t want you raising my son.”
“It doesn’t matter what you want,” he says, simply.
His prior statement should predict the useless of my next one, but emotions are overriding my ability to think clearly. “I want to be in his life. Even if I can’t raise him, I want to be in his life. He doesn’t even have to know who I am. I’ll cooperate, he can just think I’m… But let me be in his life. I’m not asking to be close to Mia. I have Carly. I’m happy with Carly. You know I’m not a threat to Mia’s affection—she’s chosen you, she’s always going to choose you. Just let me see Dom grow up.”
A flicker of impatience crosses his harsh features. “No.”
“Please. I just want to know him. How would you feel in my position?”
“I would never be in your position,” he informs me. “I’m not a fucking hot-headed idiot. I plan first, then I act. I wouldn’t have half-assed things the way you have. I wouldn’t have executed my plan until it made sense. Your plan hinged on a fucking fantasy. It was never going to work. Only plans based in reality work upon execution. Otherwise, it’s not a plan, it’s a daydream.”
“Yeah, okay, my plan was shit. You’re better at everything—is that what you want to hear? I don’t care. That’s over now. I just want to be in Dom’s life. I don’t want to move back, just… maybe we could come for holidays, like we did this week. Maybe I could send him presents for his birthday and Christmas, Mia could send me pictures and let me—”
“No,” he snaps. “You can keep asking all you want, but the answer won’t change.”
“You have kids—how can you be this heartless?”
“Vince, let me explain something to you.” Mateo sits forward and steeples his hands on the desk, a look of contemplation passing across his features. Finally, he lifts his head and meets my gaze. “In my perfect world, you’re dead. Not as good as dead. Not merely out of my way, living your life where I never have to see you again. Dead. Your lungs are empty of breath, your heart no longer beats; you are decomposing six feet belowground and a dog is shitting on your unmarked grave.”
I sit back in the chair, a little stunned by his honesty. “Wow. Don’t hold back now.”
His lips tilt up ever so slightly. “This is the last time we’ll ever see each other, so why should I? The game is over. Our cards are face-up on the table. Understand that regardless of what Mia may want in her weaker moments, Hell would freeze over before I would ever let you be a part of Dominic’s life. The only reason you’re alive is because it’s what Mia wants, but that’s as far as I’m willing to bend. Every single day that you wake up is a present from Mia to you. Enjoy it. Make better choices, lead a good life—or fall off the fucking earth. I couldn’t care less. Just do it far away from me.”
I can’t hold back a bitter smile as I shake my head. “I’m the one person you’ll hold a grudge against, huh? Doesn’t matter that you won. Doesn’t matter that you got her, that you get to raise my son as yours. You want to keep hating me.”
“I’m not holding a grudge; I just don’t fucking like you. You’ve managed to cross me in ways no man should ever survive, and here you sit, breathing.” He indicates me across the desk, shaking his head like life’s just one big disappointment. “Fucking ridiculous.”
Recklessness takes the wheel and I smirk at this heartless fucking bastard. “So kill me, then.”
“I will, if I ever see you again. If you ever surface in my city, if I hear so much as a whisper that you’re asking about Mia or my son, I will end you. Mia is sufficiently convinced you’re moving on with your life; her conscience is clear now, like it should’ve been all along. If you ever show up on my radar again, Mia will never have to know I killed you. All will be right in my world.” He clasps his hand together, meeting my gaze. “Please, please give me a reason.”
I have to raise a fucking eyebrow at that. Mia and I may have made our peace this week, but to say she should have had a clear conscience all along? She still cheated on me and broke my fucking heart once upon a time. I didn’t just morph into an asshole for no fucking reason. “Mia’s conscience should’ve been clear all along, huh? So, Beth betraying you was a killing offense, but Mia betraying me was all right because it was with you?”
His mouth curls up in utter disgust. His opinion doesn’t mean anything to me, but damn if it doesn’t make my stomach sink the slightest bit when he says, “Mia never betrayed you, Vince. You betrayed her.”
I frown. “Last year, maybe. I was talking about long before that. I am sorry for hurting her, but she hurt me first.”
Mateo sighs, massaging his temples like I’m giving him a headache. “Yes, Vince, so was I. You betrayed Mia long before she ever did anything even you could see as a betrayal.”
Now he’s starting to piss me off. Shifting in my seat, my eyes narrow in his direction. “How do you fucking figure?”
Mateo rolls his eyes. “This is exactly why I don’t like you. You can’t take responsibility for any of the shit you do. You always have to blame someone else. Someone always has to make you do something. God forbid you ever just admit you do shit because you feel like it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Mia didn’t be
tray you, Vince. She was raped and you punished her for it. Who the fuck does that? She didn’t do anything to you. She was the one who got hurt, but your fragile fucking ego couldn’t handle it. You couldn’t handle knowing I had her—didn’t matter that she didn’t even want me at the time. Should’ve mattered, would’ve mattered if you actually loved her, but you didn’t. You were a young, angry, inexperienced asshole, and that would’ve been okay, because you lucked into Mia, and she would’ve forgiven you. But you could not let it go. You pushed her away. You drove her to me. All I had to do was not penalize her for shit that wasn’t her fault and I was already the better fucking option. You punished that girl for months before she ever actually started to stray—any reasonable person would have abandoned you long before that. You paint her as this faithless bitch who broke your heart because you’re a fucking coward with pride issues. You broke her heart and had the fucking audacity to make her feel guilty for it.”
Heat moves beneath my skin. I want to launch myself across the desk and punch him in the fucking face. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You fucked her in my bed before any of that shit even happened!”
He blinks like I’m so fucking obtuse he can’t even process it. “Without her knowledge.”
“Bullshit.”
Mateo rolls his eyes. “All right. I don’t care what you believe, Vince. You’re an asshole, I dislike you, and you’ll never be a part of Dom’s life. You don’t get rights to a rape baby.”
“I’m sure the same rules would’ve applied for you, huh? You sit there on your fucking throne like you’re so much better than me. You hurt her long before I ever did—more than I ever did. You’ve bent her fucking mind to make her fit you better.”
“Mia’s happy,” he states. “I never denied I hurt her, I’m merely pointing out the difference. Yes, I’ve hurt her. I’ve been a bastard. But I don’t blame her for it. We both know she didn’t deserve it. I’ve never tried to make Mia feel responsible for anything I’ve done to her. Only cowards need someone to blame for their own predilections.”