Don't Walk Away

by Eva Luxe

  Maya shook her head. “I would have been there for you. I wanted to be.”

  I nodded. I had known she would, but I’d felt so unworthy. Looking back now, it had been stupid. But what could I do? There was no changing the past.

  “So, all of this is because of Liam and his professional football career?” Maya asked, and I winced. When she said it like that, it sounded so petty.

  But I nodded because it was true.

  “For a while, I tried to accept it,” I said. “I wanted to be happy for him. But I couldn’t stand by him and watch him live the life I didn’t have. I couldn’t watch him play football knowing I would forever stand on the sidelines.”

  Maya frowned, “Are you injured somehow?”

  I shook my head.

  “So it’s just your wounded pride, then.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “You don’t need to be a bitch about it.”

  She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m still upset, but I know I’m making it worse. What I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to stop playing football altogether. Why don’t you join a club? I’m sure there are many of them around town.”

  I nodded slowly. I had thought about that, too, but I was too worried that I would resent Liam even more if I still played, but it was never the real deal.

  “What if I hate it?” I asked.

  “Then you’ll know. But until you try, you won’t.”

  It was like a light went on. I had spiraled around in the darkness for so long, wallowing in my own self-pity, that somehow I hadn’t seen how easy it could have been. I had been such an idiot.

  “I’m sorry for everything I did to you,” I said. “Back in the day, and now. I want to be with you. I don’t want you to lose you again. Having you with me these past few days was amazing.”

  Maya smiled and nodded, putting her plate down on the coffee table. When she shifted closer to me, I did the same.

  “I don’t want to lose you, either, Kyle, but you can’t shut me out,” she said.

  “I know.”

  “So, how about we work through this, together?”

  I nodded, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. “I’d like that.”

  She leaned into me, pressing her lips against mine and finally, for the first time in a long time, I could breathe again.

  Chapter 18

  Maya

  Everything was alright again. Kyle would have to work through a lot of things, still, but he had finally opened up to me. And now that I knew what was going on in his life, what had really happened, we would be okay. Now that I knew why he’d broken up with me it was easier to forgive him for breaking my heart when there had been nothing wrong between us, and when we should have been able to make it for the long haul. Having that mystery solved was huge for me.

  When he had invited me over I had told myself I would hear him out as long as he was willing to be open with me about what was going on. I hadn’t expected it from him, though. While we had spent time together over the past few days, he had seemed set on pushing me away from anything personal.

  But he had surprised me and changed. He had cooked for me, which had been a big deal to him. He had been honest, even though it had been hard. I knew it had been really hard. I appreciated that I meant enough to him that he took the risk to bare himself like that. It took more than anyone else would understand, because Kyle had a lot of pride. I had known that from the start.

  “I’m so glad you told me,” I said to Kyle later that night when we sat together on the couch. His arm was around me, my head on his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry it took this long,” he said.

  I shook my head. “Better late than never, right?”

  Kyle shrugged slightly so my head moved.

  “I want to say one more thing,” he said.

  I tilted my head to him. It was the night for confessions. Whatever he was about to tell me, I wanted to be sure we could get through it. I wanted us to be okay again.

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  Kyle looked at me and his eyes were a brilliant blue, the color of a fall sky, the color that went on forever.

  “I love you.”

  It took me a moment to process. Warmth rushed through me and I smiled, shifting so I could put my arms around his neck.

  “I love you, too.”

  God, it felt good to be able to say that. There had been a time when we’d said those words to each other every day, but when we’d met again, it had been the one thing we hadn’t been able to pick up again.

  Kyle pressed his lips to mine, kissing me like he was never going to let me go. He wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me flush against him. This was where I wanted to be, so close to him that I didn’t know where my body stopped and his began.

  Kyle’s hand moved to my hair, holding me at the back of my head, and it made me feel small and delicate, beautiful when he balanced me between his hand and his mouth like that. The other hand slid over my shoulder and onto my chest. His hand was on my breast and he squeezed it, massaging me. My nipples hardened against the material of the bra.

  I wanted him to undress me. I wanted him to touch me inch by inch, claiming every part of me.

  Kyle broke the kiss and took my hand. He pulled me up with him and led me to his bedroom. He turned around, facing me again and kissed me. Kyle kissed me in a way he hadn’t in a very long time. It was sensual and loving, as if nothing else in the world mattered. And it didn’t.

  We took turns, and undressed each other bit by bit, taking care to remove an item of clothing before kissing again, touching, sliding our palms over each other’s naked skin. We were relearning each other, getting to know the person we had once known and somehow lost along the way.

  When I undid Kyle’s pants I kneeled before him and pulled his pants down over his leg, taking his jockey short with them. It was a struggle over his thighs—he might not have played football for a while, but he still had thunder thighs. When I succeeded, his hard cock sprung free, erect and glistening with his desire for me.

  I kissed his abdomen, kissed him down each thigh and around his groin. I kissed him everywhere but his sex, driving him crazy, denying him the one thing he wanted.

  “God, Maya,” Kyle said, through gritted teeth. He touched my hair, played with it. I looked up at him before I closed my lips around his cock, sucking him into my mouth.

  Kyle groaned, closing his eyes. I moved my head back and forth, sliding my lips over his shaft, meeting my lips with my fist around the base to close the distance that I couldn’t cover. Kyle wasn’t a small man.

  I cupped his balls with my other hand, massaging them in time with my sucking. Kyle’s hands in my hair encouraged me and I bobbed my head faster and faster until Kyle pulled out with a pop. He took my hand and pulled me up, kissing me. He was breathing hard.

  “I want you,” he said. And I felt the same.

  Kyle helped me out of my underwear before he led me to the bed and laid me down. He quickly grabbed a condom and crawled over me, his eyes on mine all the time. When he settled himself between my legs, it was all as it should be.

  Kyle positioned himself at my entrance and pushed into me. I gasped, the feel of him so familiar. It was always better than I remembered—every time. Kyle stroked slowly in and out of me, his face inches from mine, our breathing in sync. It wasn’t fucking this time. We were making love. Kyle’s body covered mine and we moved together, his cock deep inside me, his thrusting sensual.

  Slowly, he picked up the pace, bucking his hips faster and faster. He kissed me, a quick peck before he sped up more and I cried out and moaned as he thrust into me. He worked me toward my first orgasm and in no time, I toppled over the edge, coming undone at the seams.

  When I opened my eyes again, Kyle was looking at me with a smile on his face.

  “What?” I breathed.”

  He ran his hand down my cheek, ran his fingers through my hair, and kissed me.

  “I love it when I do that to you.�
�

  I smiled, “Then do it to me again, baby.”

  Kyle chuckled and bucked his hips. I was tighter now, more sensitive after orgasming. After a while, I tapped Kyle on the shoulder and he stopped.

  “Roll over,” I said. Kyle did as I asked, pulling out and lying on his back on the bed. I clambered onto him, straddling his hips and lowered myself onto his dick.

  We both sighed with pleasure when I did.

  I started moving back and forth, my hands on his chest, my pussy sliding up and down his cock. When I was on top I could control every part of me that Kyle reached, and I shivered with the intensity. My clit rubbed against his pubic bone when I leaned forward and I started bucking my hips, riding him harder and faster. I wanted to push him over the edge, to bring him to orgasm. I fucked him harder and faster, my knees becoming hot on the sheets, my breasts swinging in his face.

  Kyle’s hands were on my hips, helping me, pushing me faster and faster. His fingers dug into my hips a little and it was hot, pushing me closer and closer to another orgasm. My hair hung over my shoulders and I leaned down enough that it brushed Kyle’s chest. I knew he loved it.

  Kyle moved one hand to my hair and tangled his fingers in it. I put everything into it now, riding him until a wave of pleasure washed over me, starting at my core and spreading through my body like an all-consuming fire.

  When my walls clamped down on his cock, milking him, contracting and releasing, Kyle released, too. I sat down hard on him, burying him deep inside as he pumped into me, emptying himself. I collapsed on his chest as my orgasm pulled me apart and I was reduced to the rawest version of myself. It was this side of me that only Kyle knew and it was beautiful that we had it back again.

  “That was amazing,” Kyle said, gasping for air when we were tangled in the aftermath of our sex.

  I stiffly climbed off Kyle and lay next to him on the bed. He rolled onto his side, facing me so that we mirrored each other. Kyle hooked my hair behind my ear and smiled at me.

  “I know I apologized for what I did and explained myself to you,” Kyle said. “But I want us to know where we stand.”

  I blinked at him. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I want you to know that you are mine and I am yours, and that there aren’t any misunderstandings.”

  He traced my profile with his fingertips before he looked me in the eye again.

  “Will you be my girlfriend?”

  I smiled. He was asking me the way he had asked me in college so many years ago. He was making it official, so we both knew what we were to each other. It was the sweetest thing he’d done since we’d run into each other again.

  I nodded. “I would love to.”

  Kyle kissed me before he took my hands and played with my fingers, interlacing them with his own. His face became serious again.

  “What are you thinking about?” I asked.

  Kyle took a deep breath. “For so long, I’ve held on to jealousy and resentment over what happened. I want that to change, but if I’m being honest, I don’t know who I am without that.”

  I frowned. “I do,” I said. “You’re still the guy I dated I college. You’re still cocky and full of shit sometimes. I know you still love football. You’re not empty by any means. You replaced football with that anger and bitterness but that was never really you.”

  “I do love football, but I don’t know what to do. I want to be close with Liam again but the thought of seeing him play makes me worried that I won’t be able to deal with it.”

  “Just because you’re not playing doesn’t mean you can’t be involved with football somehow, you know. Why don’t we talk to Liam, see if he can put you in contact with a few people? You can do something like coaching or coordinating. There has to be something.”

  Kyle blinked at me. “I never thought about it like that,” he said.

  “Because you were hurting so much you pushed football and everything connected to it away,” I said.

  Kyle nodded. “Well, no more of that. I really do love football.”

  “I know,” I said. “And we can make it work. If we do it together, we can do anything.”

  Kyle smiled and pulled me against him so we were pressed together. There was nothing between us, no clothes that separated us, and no secrets that kept us apart. It was just me and Kyle and the two of us would be inseparable.

  Once upon a time, I had been sure he was my soul mate, my forever. When we had broken up I had been shattered, feeling like I had been wrong. But we had been brought together again and this time, I wasn’t letting him go.

  Chapter 19

  Kyle

  I decided to go to the football practice at the training center. Liam had said I was welcome anytime. I hadn’t told Maya or Liam I was coming, I wanted it to be a surprise to both of them.

  For some reason—and I had no idea what it was—it was as if after my conversation with Maya, everything looked different. Maybe all I had needed was to talk to someone about it, to say what bothered me out loud. When I looked back, I knew that I’d felt horrible but it didn’t make sense anymore. I couldn’t find it in myself to feel that way any longer.

  Parking, I walked to the training grounds where the girls were already warming up. When Maya spotted me, her face split into a grin. Some of the others noticed me, too, and whispered. They asked Maya questions and she was nodding and smiling. I liked that they knew I was with her, and that they were talking about me. Such a good reaction from here would make any man proud.

  She was elegant and graceful as she had always been. Maya moved as if she had music within her. She was strong, a lifetime of fitness had made her graceful and able, and she was a reliable, fully-fledged member of the squad. She was one of the latest additions, but it wasn’t hard to see that the cheerleaders all respected her and saw her as one of their own. It was beautiful to see unity like that.

  I knew what that felt like. When a team worked together well, the chemistry itself was intoxicating. I had experienced it a few times in my life, too.

  When the cheerleaders were done, Liam and his team emerged from the locker room. When he spotted me, a question flashed over his face. I grinned at him and he grinned back. He understood.

  “I’m glad you could make it, man,” he said, walking up to me.

  “Glad I could be here.”

  We shook hands, and in the connection our palms made was a world of unspoken words. We didn’t have to say anything to each other to know. We were best friends. We always had been and we always would be. I had been a dick, but I was back, and Liam was the saint who forgave me.

  When he walked out onto the field with his team, Maya came to stand next to me.

  “It’s great to see that you’re friends again,” she said.

  I nodded.

  The Dolphins were a fantastic team to watch. They were preparing for a game to kick off the new season and watching the dynamic between them was something else. When they played in the leagues and I saw them on TV it was a thing of poetry to watch, but no one saw the relationships between the players, and the true dynamic of the teams. From where I stood on the side of the field, I saw for the first time how well they worked together, how close they were to each other and how perfectly Liam fit in.

  I couldn’t believe I hadn’t been happy for him. I had been so bitter that I hadn’t been chosen to play professional football that I had forgotten about the happiness of the people I loved.

  Maya looked at me. “How are you doing?” she asked.

  “Much better,” I said.

  It was true, it was hard for me to watch them play because I knew what it was like to be a part of a team. But I could see past that now. I would get used to standing on the sidelines, because I had realized that it was better than not being a part of football at all.

  Maya and I stayed to watch the full training session. When the guys finished, they trailed off to the locker room in twos and threes. Liam stayed behind to chat with the coach first before he walked t
oward us.

  “What did you think?” Liam asked me.

  “You looked great out there,” I said. “It’s a great team.”

  Liam nodded. “It is. It was a little sticky when I first joined them, but it’s different now. I finally feel like I’m one of the boys.”

  “It shows,” I said. “You’re all set for the game.”

  Liam nodded, looking out over the fields.

  “I have a box reserved at Hard Rock if you’re interested in watching the game,” Liam said. He glanced at me, unsure.

  I looked at Maya who nodded encouragement.

  “That would be great,” I said.

  Liam smiled, relieved as if he’d expected me to say no. Until now, it was all I’d done. But this was the first step to changing that.

  “Kina will be there with a few of our friends if you don’t mind,” Liam added. Again he looked unsure. I had been a bit of a recluse lately.

  “It’s not a problem,” I said.

  Liam grinned at me, ecstatic. This was the first step forward. No more being alone, no more being a dick about everything I couldn’t have, no more punishing Liam for something that wasn’t his fault. It would take a while for everything to go back to normal, for me to fix the damage I had caused, but I could make it happen. Everyone was on my side, eager to help me out. It was all I needed. I was so grateful I had people in my life that wouldn’t give up on me, no matter how much of an asshole I had been.

  After training, I had to get back to work. I had taken a few hours off but I had to make them up. I stayed a little later to make sure I caught everything up before I headed home. After that, the drive home didn’t take long since it was well after the rush hour traffic was gone so the roads had quieted down. Where usually I was in a bad mood after a long day’s work, I was in a good mood now. Maya was at home, waiting for me. For the first time in years, I had something to look forward to.

  I wasn’t going to go home and drink, either. I had better things to do with my life now.

  When I arrived home, I noticed Liam’s car in a parking space. It was unexpected, but I didn’t dread the idea that he was waiting for me. I walked to the front door and opened it.