by Kira Archer
Rick shook his head like he didn’t believe her. “None of this would have happened if you hadn’t broken your promise tonight…”
“Excuse me?” Anger rushed through her, and she embraced it. Anger she could deal with. “You’re going to blame this whole mess on me?”
“You’re the one who broke your promise to me. All you had to do was wait. Instead, you took off on your own and did the one thing I asked you not to. And then on top of it all, you went and destroyed property, committed an assault, disturbed the peace, and who knows what else would’ve happened if I hadn’t shown up.”
He took a deep breath and jammed his hand through his hair. “I want this to work. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to be with someone who can’t keep her word. Who isn’t remotely interested in compromising…in any way. Who I can’t trust. I’m a cop, Gina. Do you have any idea how it feels to get a call on the radio and know it’s my girlfriend at the scene?”
“No one asked you to be with me! I certainly don’t want to damage your reputation.”
He stepped closer, invading her space and backing her up against the counter so there was no escape.
“This has nothing to do with my reputation. This has everything to do with your behavior. Your safety. Your future. Not everything is a game, Gina. You can’t do whatever you want, whenever you want. What you want isn’t the only thing that matters in the world. Do you ever think about anyone else before you act? Did you think about me at all before you ran off to find him?”
“That is so unfair,” she said, pushing past him. He didn’t fight her, but he didn’t back off, either. “You are the only person I thought of. I called you. I let you know what was going on. I wouldn’t have done that for anyone else. Things just happened too fast. I could hear stuff breaking in the truck. What was I supposed to do? Stand there and let them trash it? And then when I saw who was in there…I knew how you’d react. Jenny was freaking out. I was trying to take care of it before you got there.”
“You should have waited. Not gone nuts and tried to exact a little retribution on your own.”
“I can’t believe you think I should have stood by and watched while they destroyed my truck.”
“That is not what I’m saying. I’m saying when something like that happens, you are supposed to call the people who handle it and then let us handle it. You do not go racing in there yourself. What if it hadn’t been Tony? What if it had been an armed robber? You could have been hurt. Did you stop for one second to think about that?”
“No. Because I knew it was Tony.”
“Yeah. This time. What happens next time a potentially dangerous situation comes up? You going to handle that by yourself, too?”
“You are being so unbelievably unfair.”
“You keep saying that. Life isn’t fair, Gina! Ever heard that one?”
“Yeah. I’ve heard it. And if you’d unclench for half a second, you might realize that in this case at least, I’m right! Not everything is black and white, Officer Boyd. There’s a lot of gray in there, something you’d realize if you’d quit being such an anal-retentive control freak!”
“Oh, that’s good. You calling me the control freak. You can’t even give up enough control to keep the one promise I asked you to keep. Everything has to be done your way, the second you want it done, but that’s not how the world works.”
Gina sighed and shook her head, all the fight going out of her. They could go the rounds all night. They’d never end up anywhere but where they were.
“I knew this wouldn’t work,” she said. He blinked at the change in her tone. She knew she sounded sad, defeated. His brow creased, and he took a step toward her. She shook her head again. “You can’t have a relationship when you don’t trust the person you’re with. You keep saying you can’t trust me to keep my promises, to be truthful.” She shook her head. “I can’t be with someone who doubts every word out of my mouth. I’ve never lied to you, Rick. Never would. The only lie I told was when I convinced myself there was a way we could make a relationship work. But it’s impossible. We’d fight over everything.”
A faint smile crossed his lips. “We do view the world a little differently.”
That got a sad laugh out of her. “That’s one way to put it.”
“That doesn’t have to mean…”
“Yeah,” she said. “I think it does.”
His eyes searched hers, and she felt herself wavering. Wanting to give in to him. To take it all back. But it would hurt worse further down the road.
“So…”
She nodded. “So.”
He stared at her a moment longer and then opened his arms. She knew she should resist, but she wanted to be held by him once more. Feel those arms wrapped around her. Hide in his warm, safe haven one last time.
She went to him, laid her head on his chest, wrapped her arms around his waist. And just breathed with him. Let him hold her. He stroked her hair. Rested his cheek on her head. His arms tightened briefly, and then he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Sweet and gentle. Like no one had ever done before. She couldn’t imagine anyone touching her that way again.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Me, too.”
“I guess I should be going then,” he said, his voice strained.
He made no move to let her go, but she pulled away and nodded. Enough of this. No point in torturing herself. It was over and done with. And the sooner he left, the better. It would be good to get on with her life without Mr. Hall Monitor watching her every move and tattling on her for every little mistake. And she’d keep telling herself that for as long as it took.
He jumped down from the truck, but looked back one last time. “Take care of yourself, Gina.”
She mustered a smile. “I always do.”
The smile he gave her in return was full of love, and longing, and sadness. And it shattered her heart into a million pieces.
There weren’t enough lies in the world to fix it.
…
Gina zipped up her fabulous ball gown and looked at herself in the mirror. It really was a killer dress. So she was glad Nat had found a reason for her to wear it. Even better that the fund-raising event Eric’s parents were throwing was the same night as the Policeman’s Ball. With any luck, Gina would be too busy to wonder if Rick had found someone else to be his date.
Nat came in, her eyes widening at the sight of Gina. “Wow.”
Gina smoothed her hand down over her hip, brushing away imaginary wrinkles. “Really?”
“Oh yeah. You’re going to have every guy there throwing himself at you.”
Gina gave her a weak smile. Once, the thought of a bunch of wealthy, single men throwing themselves at her would have made her day. But now, only one man consumed her thoughts. Had been consuming her thoughts for two weeks. She didn’t know how much longer she could take the loop of Rick visuals in her head.
Nat squeezed her hand, knowing without Gina saying anything what was going through her mind. “You up for this?”
Gina hesitated. Not really. But sitting around the apartment certainly wasn’t helping. Maybe getting back out there would. “Yeah. Totally up for it.”
Nat’s eyebrows rose. “That sounded convincing.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not my fault you can always tell when I’m lying. It would be nice if you’d pretend to believe me every now and then.”
Nat smiled at her. Gina sighed and sat on the end of the bed. “I miss him, Nat.”
“I know you do,” she said, sitting beside her and draping an arm around her shoulders.
“I don’t want to miss him. It’s stupid. Pointless. I mean, do I get a little lonely sometimes or feel like maybe I’m missing out on something? Sure. Everyone feels like that every now and then. Right?”
“Sure.”
“But is having someone worth being with the wrong person? Just for the sake of not being alone?”
“No.” Nat kept to one-word answers, probably afraid if she said
too much, Gina would stop talking. No worries there. It was like once she’d opened the floodgates she couldn’t close them. All the thoughts that had been tumbling around in her head for the last couple weeks came spilling out.
“The problem is…”
“What?” Nat asked.
Gina sighed. “He didn’t feel wrong.”
The knowing smile that graced Nat’s face should have irritated Gina, but it didn’t. It was actually a relief to have someone not only get what she was saying, but support it.
“Everything about Rick felt right,” Gina continued. “So unbelievably, heart-poundingly right. I mean, literally heart-pounding. Like in books and movies. I always thought that was total crap. Not something that happened in real life. And it wasn’t only the sex, though, don’t get me wrong—I can’t imagine anyone ever measuring up to him in that department.”
“Ever?” Nat asked, looking suitably impressed at that declaration.
“Ever,” Gina said. “But even aside from that, he somehow…I don’t know…filled a hole I didn’t realize needing filling. Okay, wait,” she said, holding up her hand to ward off Nat’s startled laugh.
“Wow, thanks for that mental image,” Nat said.
“My bad. Wrong choice of words there.”
Nat was still giggling. “You think?”
“Well, wrong choice of words, maybe, but apt all the same.”
“Okay, so aside from that statement referring to your amazing sex life with him, what do you mean?”
Gina shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess…well, I’m kind of a tough girl. And that’s how people treat me. Like I can take anything they dish out. For the most part, I can. I like that about me. I like that I’m strong and independent.”
Nat gave her another squeeze. “So do I.”
“But sometimes…I don’t know. Sometimes it’s nice to not have to be so strong, you know? Rick…he was the first one who was ever really…sweet to me. Tender. Does that sound totally lame?”
Nat shook her head, her eyes suspiciously shiny. “No. It sounds like he loves you.”
Gina looked down at her hands in her lap. “If he loves me, then why did he leave?”
“Did you ask him to stay? Or get angry and scared and throw him out?”
Gina looked up at Nat with a wry smile.
“Okay,” Nat said. “Silly question, I know. Of course you threw him out. But that doesn’t mean you can’t go get him again. If you love him, that is. Do you?”
Gina didn’t want to answer that. Not out loud. Not to a third party. Saying it out loud would make it real. Would make it that much more painful that she’d lost the one thing she wanted most in the world.
“What difference does it make now? It’s over. I sent him away, and he not only didn’t argue it, he agreed that he should leave and took off. And never looked back.”
“I wouldn’t discount him yet. Remember me and Eric. I thought we were done for good. And look at us now.” Nat’s content smile made Gina ecstatically happy for her best friend, and green with envy at the same time.
“Not everyone can have a love story like you two.”
Nat shrugged. “Maybe not. But I’d be willing to bet money you can.”
“Can what?” Jared stuck his head into the room and looked back and forth at them. “What are we betting money on?”
“Nothing,” Gina said.
“That Gina can have her very own happily ever after.”
“With that cop?”
“No,” Gina said at the same time Nat said, “Yes.”
“Helpful,” he said. “Well, if you’re asking my opinion…”
“I’m not,” Gina said.
“I’d put my money on yes.”
Gina’s gaze shot to his. “Really?”
“Um. Yeah. Did you see the way he looked at you? I’ve never looked at a woman like that. That man has it for you, bad.”
“He could have fooled me. I mean, after what happened with Tony and everything…”
“Gina,” Jared said, coming in to squat in front of her. “The man showed up to deal with a domestic disturbance and finds the woman he loves having a brawl in the middle of the street with her ex-boyfriend and then finds out that the naked girl in the food truck is his baby sister. Did you really expect him to react well to all that?”
Gina frowned. “I guess not.”
He threw up his hands in a see gesture and stood back up.
“You guys didn’t even give it a chance after that, did you? You had a fight over it, as I’d totally expect because hell, who wouldn’t be upset walking up to that? And instead of letting things cool off, you two jumped the gun and broke it off. And my guess is you’re the one who initiated that, weren’t you?”
Gina looked back down, unable to meet his gaze. “Maybe.”
“Maybe nothing. You made up your mind and wouldn’t hear anything to the contrary.”
Her lips twitched at that. “Maybe.”
“So…maybe the guy deserves another chance.”
Gina sighed. “Maybe he does. Or maybe that is too many maybes to deal with.”
Jared shrugged. “Or maybe you love him and are too afraid to do something about it.”
Gina’s gaze met his. Held it. “Yeah. Maybe.”
“You going to let a little fear stop you?”
“Stop me from what?”
“Being happy for once in your life.”
Her lips twitched. “You’re a pain in my ass, Crew.”
He shrugged again. “It’s what I do best. So?”
Gina took a deep breath, her heart pounding. “What if it’s too late? What if he doesn’t feel the same?”
“Only one way to find out.”
“True. And I guess it’d be a shame to waste this dress. I did buy it for him, after all.” She straightened.
Jared clapped once and held a hand out to help Gina up. “So, what’s the plan? You going to go get your man?”
Gina frowned. “I’m not sure I can. Not that I don’t want to,” she said, heading off Jared’s and Nat’s protests. “He’s got his ball tonight. You have to have an invitation or ticket or something to get in, and even I’m not ballsy enough to crash a party full of cops.”
Jared frowned. “You might have a point.”
“But I do know where he lives. Maybe I can make a little post-party visit. And hope he doesn’t throw me out.”
Nat pulled her in for a hug. “He won’t.”
“He might. I wasn’t exactly at my most charming last time I saw him.” She took a deep breath and slowly blew it out. “But I guess it’s better to know, than wonder for the rest of my life. Right?”
Jared wrapped an arm around her waist. “Have a little faith, Gene. He’d be crazy not to want you.”
Gina laid her head on Jared’s chest. “Faith, huh?” She laughed. “Not exactly my strong suit. But I’ll see what I can do.”
Chapter Nineteen
Rick opened the door for Jenny, and she slid inside. “You look beautiful,” he said before closing the door and getting in the driver’s side. “Thanks for being my date.”
“No problem. Though I guess it doesn’t say much about my social life that I was available at the last minute on a Friday night.”
Rick chuckled. “Well, I’m glad, anyway. It’s no fun going to these things alone.”
“Or with your sister, I imagine. Why aren’t you going with Gina?”
Rick gritted his teeth and pulled out of the driveway. “It’s complicated.”
“You know, usually when people say it’s complicated, it’s really not that complicated.”
“Yeah, well, this time it is.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.”
Jenny sighed and watched the scenery going past her window. But she was “not-speaking” very loudly. Rick could almost hear the cogs turning in that head of hers. “Say what you want to say before you explode.”
Jenny immediately turned her attention to him. “
I’m trying to figure out what you’re doing taking me to this ball thing when you should be taking her. I realize you guys had a fight…”
“Understatement of the century…”
“But so what. Get over it. Make up. You guys are perfect together.”
Rick snorted. “I don’t think anything you’ve ever said has ever been less accurate. And that includes the time you thought your hamster could predict the weather.”
“Very funny. Glad your sense of humor is still intact. A lot of men lose that when they lose the love of their life.”
Rick almost veered into the other lane. “What the hell does that mean?”
“You know exactly what it means. That lovely young lady you stupidly walked away from isn’t one that you’re going to get over.”
Rick’s heart agreed with Jenny, but his head kept throwing up obstacles. “We’re too different.”
“Opposites attract.”
“We’d spend our entire lives fighting.”
“And making up. Make-up sex is amazing. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve had some good make-up sex. I might go out and get a new boyfriend just so I can piss him off and then have some make-up sex. You know, Tony had his faults, but I’ll tell you what, that man was a genius at—”
“Oh my God, if you say anything about you having make-up sex, or any other kind of sex, for that matter, I’m going to hurl all over your dress. I really do not need to know that much about your sex life. Especially if it has to do with that asshole.”
“Simply making a point,” Jenny said, an amused smiled playing on her lips.
“Yeah, I got it. Thanks. Besides, it’s not that easy with me and Gina.” Rick shook his head, his resolve failing a little more with each half-assed argument. “We’ve only known each other, what…like a month? A little more? That’s not long enough to know if you love someone or not.”