by Lynn Rae
“Just things from the standard human sexuality course.” Now her fingers were trailing across his chest and circling his nipples. Ben’s erection throbbed, and he decided he wasn’t going to return those particular touches or else his resolution not to make love with her would be even more in danger than it already was.
“People talk about it. Sometimes before they start, sometimes when they are with each other, sometimes after they’re done. Like we are right now.” Ben decided he could risk a kiss, and Cara smiled and leaned forward to meet him halfway.
“Did you see something you want to try, or to avoid?”
Her braid was mussed, and he reached up to loosen it. Her hair gleamed like bronze as it fell over her shoulders and nearly concealed her nipples. How many hours could he stay here and do exactly this? Holding her, tasting her, talking with her, all of it satisfied some aching part of his soul he’d never known he had.
“I saw a lot of…different, ah, positions and things to do. Some looked like they’d give me a leg cramp but most were, um, interesting. Will you be willing to try this again?”
Ben nodded, at a loss for words, and she grinned at him, her pleasure with his answer fading as she asked the next question. “Did I do anything wrong?”
“Other than not telling me about your lack of experience, no. You were wonderful.” Ben watched Cara blush. Resolving to praise her more often, he tilted her in for another kiss. She fell against him, her arms around his neck, and Ben resolved to do this more often too, as often as possible.
The strident squall of a buzzer interrupted these pleasant thoughts, and Cara leaned away, her eyes wide.
“That could be Mat. I set my datpad to alert an incoming message.”
Alert indeed. Her chosen tone could activate an entire safety division. She scrambled from the bed, and Ben watched her dash away. Since her bouncing rear was so alluring, he decided to follow her down the hall to the living area where she stared at the device’s activation display. She tapped it open and the face of one of the medtechs appeared. His mouth opened and his eyebrows shot up as he took in a brief view of a naked Cara before she tilted it away.
“Just a moment!” Cara turned to him with a horrified expression. “Ben! I didn’t know it was on view.”
He noticed a blanket on the sofa and wrapped it around her. The idea that another man had just seen her naked bothered him more intensely than he’d thought possible. He gave her a calm kiss on the cheek and reached for the datpad, carefully angling it so only his head would be visible.
“Chief Zashi here. What’s the trouble?” The medtech cleared his throat and seemed to be having some difficulty coming up with a word or two.
“Ah, yes, sir. Good evening, sir. Ah, we were contacting Citizen Belasco as per her request.” Ben felt Cara slide in close to his body, well underneath the lens of the raised datpad. The blanket tickled, and he wished she’d let it slip away and rub her skin against his instead.
“And the news is?”
“Ah, sir, I think I have to tell her directly—” There was no way he was going to put Cara back in communication with this man.
“She can hear you, continue.”
The medtech jerked his chin and glanced down at something, almost as if he was hoping to spy a section of Cara’s beautiful body. Ben squeezed the datpad and wished he could do the same with the other man’s neck. “Ah, her traveling companion, Citizen Soren, is conscious and asking for her and her brother.”
“Soren!” He looked down to see Cara staring up at him, her eyes shining. Ben tried not to feel upset at the news. If the old man was awake, the Belascos were that much closer to being able to book a flight away from Gamaliel. Away from him.
“She’ll be there presently. And, Medtech Rice, is it?” Ben squinted at the man’s nametag for confirmation. “You are absolutely never to mention Citizen Belasco’s earlier appearance to anyone. Ever.”
He must have put enough of a growl into it, because the other man nodded mutely and closed the connection. Ben caught Cara’s gaze. “Come on, let’s get dressed and go.”
“Cara, how could you?” Soren’s voice rasped from lack of use, but Cara still quaked inside from his familiar, commanding tone. He reprimanded her for letting Mat out of her sight, but she knew if he was aware of what she’d just done with Ben, and wanted to do again, he’d be shocked beyond words.
Ben had escorted her to the clinic and into Soren’s room, but when the older man had demanded privacy, he’d retreated to the hall after giving Cara an indecipherable look. She missed the light pressure of his hand on her back as they’d walked, she missed the little brushes of his shoulder against hers, missed the warm feeling he gave her.
Soren’s sunken grey eyes blinked at her from his nearly prone position on the bed. His skin was pale and ashen, and he appeared emaciated. Five days in a medical coma had saved his life but destroyed his appearance. Cara swallowed and tried again.
“He’s perfectly safe. It’s been very beneficial for him to have time around his peers.”
“He has no peers here. Neither do you. You’re forgetting that.” Soren’s tired eyes flashed fire as he reiterated his constant assertion that she and Mat were set apart and isolation was their fate. She didn’t like her fate, liked it less and less over the years, and had come to hate it in fact. In the past few days as she’d made her own decisions, she’d realized she didn’t want to follow the companion’s edicts unthinkingly any more.
“I haven’t forgotten it, but it’s very important Mat learns how normal people live. This place is so isolated there are no threats beyond falling down and breaking a bone or eating something that might disagree with you.”
Soren shook his head and winced. The medtech, thankfully not the one who’d caught a glimpse of her naked, had told her that her companion was still severely injured, his long nap notwithstanding. “When can we depart?”
His blunt question made her pause. She hadn’t thought of leaving, and she had no plans in place. “We have to wait until you are capable of travel, Soren. The doctors haven’t told me much other than it will be a while. Maybe a month or more. You’ve had a lot of severe injuries. Your spine was severed in several places, after all.”
He grimaced and closed his eyes. With his sunken cheeks and pallor, he looked as lifeless as a corpse, and she shivered. Cara glanced at the door behind her, sure Ben stood nearby. She wondered if he was listening, or giving them the privacy her companion had demanded as soon as he’d seen the other man.
“Who was that man that followed you in here?”
“Bendix Zashi. He’s Chief of Safety and Security here.”
Soren’s eyelids snapped open so quickly she thought she heard them. “You haven’t told him anything, have you?”
“Only what I had to. I had to convince him not to scan our dna-prints and load them into the accident report. We owe him for that favor.”
“The galaxy at large owes you favor. When I think of all you have been deprived of, I…” Soren licked his lips, and she lifted the cup of room temperature water to his mouth, and he pulled in a few swallows.
Cara wanted to shake her head in denial. Their companions had always had a curious way of referring to her and Mat; they emphasized separateness and discretion, which was a logical approach considering how they had to live. But the shades of entitlement had always confused her. Their father would have been considered a war criminal if there had been a war. Instead, he’d waged a covert destruction of anyone who’d opposed the La Torre line. That seemed a badge of shame to Cara, not a reason to expect automatic respect.
Cara explained their living arrangement to the man, leaving out her daring decision to seek employment in the kitchens. She knew Soren would be aghast at the notion of her acting as a pot washer.
“Funds. Have you needed to access our remote account or did you recover our money from the ship?”
“I’ve been using the marks from the ship.” Not too many of them either. She had been in
ordinately pleased to find pay deposited in her local account every day she’d worked. Providing for herself and Mat filled her with a novel sense of pride. School was free, their costs at the barracks had been subsidized in some way, and local foodstuffs, while not varied, were a very low cost. All in all, she’d been managing quite well.
“This Zashi character, what does he know?”
“Our names. I had to tell him some vague things so he didn’t report us. He knows people are searching for us, that we’re in danger, but that’s all.” He’s seen me naked. Touched me. Had sex with me. He knows how to make me feel safe. He eats the food I prepare, and he likes to talk with Mat. Cara couldn’t tell Soren these more important facts about Ben. All of them would rattle the old man and make it likely he’d push his recovery just to get them off Gamaliel more quickly. Cara didn’t want to leave yet.
“Too much, Cara. But I suppose it couldn’t be helped.” Soren stretched out an arm and sighed as if it hurt. “Keep your distance from him. No sense titillating his interest in us and having him start making inquiries, whether official or casual.”
Cara ducked her head and hoped she wasn’t blushing. The last thing Ben seemed to have was a casual interest in her. A medtech bustled in, and Soren adopted his usual distant and slightly superior demeanor, or at least as well as he could manage from a prone position. He pursed his dry lips and lowered his eyelids slightly to imitate a look down his nose. The young man didn’t seem to notice.
“Time for rest now, Citizen Soren. I’m sure your friend will be by to see you tomorrow.”
Cara made her exit and breathed out a sigh of relief when the door closed behind her. Just a few days free of the companion’s supervision had given her a new perspective on life, and the minutes she’d just spent with him revealed how controlling and repressive he was and had been all their lives in fact. His actions had kept them safe, but now that she’d ventured out and met other people and nothing untoward had happened, Cara wondered if all the constant isolation and suspicion had been necessary. Sure there were bad people in the world, but also many, many good.
She surveyed the hallway and located Ben a few meters away. He had apparently been talking to a subordinate but now watched her with narrowed eyes. His mouth was a firm line, and she had a sudden memory of how his lips, tongue, and teeth had felt on her breast. A flicker of nervous heat tickled her belly and coiled between her legs.
He nodded to the woman in a safety uniform by his side, and she shot a glance at Cara before walking away. The officer was buxom with curling red hair, and Cara felt a definite twinge of jealousy, an emotion she’d had very little experience with. Had Ben been involved with the red-haired woman? Surely not. There were rules about fraternization; even in Cara’s limited exposure to the mores of normal society, she knew about those. But the overexcited cells in her body kept chanting mine, mine, mine, and she couldn’t help but listen.
Ben walked toward her, standing a few centimeters closer than he usually did. Cara wanted to press against him and close her eyes, but too many people were around. She needed to behave with more discretion than that.
“Let me find someone to see you.”
Cara shrank at the suggestion. It would be embarrassing and intrusive. As she shook her head to put him off and stall for time, he leaned closer and held her gaze.
“You promised, and you’re already here.”
Not liking that he was right on both counts, Cara gave him a slight nod, and he immediately punched a key on his datpad. Within moments a doctor she vaguely recognized appeared and greeted them both, claiming she remembered Cara from the accident. Taking a deep breath, Cara stepped inside the exam room after the doctor. She knew Ben would wait in the hallway until she exited. The idea pleased her.
“Hello, Citizen Belasco. I heard your fellow passenger was lucid, so I’m sure you were pleased to see him.” The doctor indicated Cara should take a seat on the exam table as she sat in a chair nearby and opened up a wall display for access to her scant medical records. The bed scanner hummed to life. Cara repressed a wave of anxiety and some vital sign must have indicated increased stress, because the doctor glanced at her.
“Please don’t worry. Chief Zashi informed me of your wishes to stay undocumented. I won’t be taking any samples for the census.” Gauging she had reassured Cara enough, the doctor continued. “Now, what may I help you with tonight?”
“I, uh, had sexual intercourse for the first time and need an exam.” That was the best, most direct way to answer the question and hopefully elicit the bare minimum interaction.
“Was it consensual?”
“Consen—Yes, of course.”
“I have to ask, especially with the chief’s presence.” The doctor closed her mouth with a snap, and Cara thought she saw a flush creep up the other woman’s cheeks. Well, she was sure she blushed red as well, so they could both ignore the other’s discomfort. “That’s very good, I mean, I’m sure you’re fine, and I’ll just run a few checks to make certain. Are you experiencing any discomfort now?”
Cara shook her head. She was slightly sore but it was hardly noticeable. It was more an awareness of that part of her body she’d never had before. The doctor concentrated on her display and pressed a few glowing sections to gain more information.
“Everything appears to be perfectly normal, and you aren’t ovulating so there’s no need for any decisions on that front tonight. Did you wish to become pregnant?”
Cara’s mind was a blank. A baby? What she and Ben had done could result in one, but she hadn’t thought about that before acting on her impulsive lust. But a baby, one of her own. She’d never considered it might ever be a possibility, and the thought of a small person with chocolate-brown eyes growing up by her side, as Mat had, was irresistible.
“Not right now.”
“Then we’d best decide on how you’d like to manage your reproductive future. For your age, I’d recommend an embed. It goes right under the surface of your skin and simply prevents implantation. It lasts for four years, and if you decide to have a child, you can remove it with this device,” she held up a tiny tweezer-like object, “or come in and one of us will take care of it. Within about twenty-nine hours, you’ll be ready. Let me forward you some basic fertility information.” Wordlessly, Cara extended her datpad to the doctor’s waiting hand and watched as the other woman rapidly squeezed files onto the device. “And there’s some good advice on sexual fulfillment. Benefits of masturbation, lubricants, things like that. The key is good communication with your partners.”
“Partner,” Cara corrected in a whisper. She didn’t want to think about anyone but Ben and the idea of another man touching her was cringe-inducing.
The doctor tightened her lips and nodded once before glancing away and concentrating on the synched displays. “A strong bond with your partner can be a great contributor to your satisfaction. The first time is usually awkward for both parties, but it gets better. Much better.”
Some of the uncertainty that had plagued her dissipated, and Cara relaxed. The other woman wasn’t judging her or explaining what she might have done wrong. She was encouraging and soothing, in a way acting as a substitute for the non-existent feminine influences in Cara’s life. The doctor retrieved the implant from a wall cabinet, and with a minimum of fuss it was soon resting under the skin over Cara’s left hip.
“Physically you’re in great shape. You’ve gained weight, your stress levels are much better, and your cell regenerative properties are back within normal ranges. I’d advise you to wait to have intercourse again until the soreness has disappeared, which, judging by the levels of contusion, will be within a day or so. Then you won’t have to contend with any pain at all and can enjoy yourself. If you experience any sort of fever or rashes, come in and we’ll clear up the infection.”
The flush had returned to the doctor’s cheeks. “Unless you have any questions, I’d say the medical side of our meeting is concluded.”
Cara shook
her head and retrieved her datpad from the doctor, automatically checking for any messages from Mat. None awaited her, which meant he was deeply involved in whatever boys get up to when they are on their own in a tree house. The possibilities would have made her blood run cold if she hadn’t been incredibly distracted by her new experience and Soren’s revitalization.
“Citizen Belasco, if I may be more, ah, personal.” The doctor cleared her throat and closed down the displays in the room. “I’d just like to give you a little advice. We’re a small settlement and know each other rather well here. Chief Zashi is a very worthwhile individual. He’s trustworthy and far kinder than people might guess. You’ve made a good choice.”
The other woman’s clear gaze and apparent desire to encourage her made Cara come close to tears. Cara swallowed hard and nodded once. The doctor asked if there was anything else, and when Cara said no, she stood up, shook her hand and exited, claiming she had a lot of patient records to review before she could leave that night.
Cara sat for a moment and breathed in and out as she considered all the momentous events which had occurred over the last few hours. Despite all the drama, she didn’t feel especially tired or even as anxious as she would have expected. Sliding off the bed, Cara went to the door and found Ben leaning against the opposite wall checking his datpad. He looked up with a slight frown and closed his device.
“Everything all right?”
“Just fine.” Cara clenched her fingers into her palms rather than touch him as she longed to. Not here in a public hallway. What did he want to do? Would he come home with her now and follow her into her rooms so they could talk and kiss some more?
“I’d like to escort you home,” Ben’s offer made Cara smile, “but there’s been an incident, and I need to go in to the station. One of my patrols might have captured a thief, and I need to supervise evidence collection and interrogation.”