by Terra Wolf
I stared at him. “After exams, I can do anything. But I have to take them and turn in my final paper with Alexa.”
He chewed on a piece of bacon. “All right. And what am I supposed to do while you study?”
I smiled. “Watch me?”
He laughed. “Depends on if you study naked or not.”
I kicked him under the table. The older couple might have canes, but it didn’t mean they were deaf.
“Ouch,” he grumbled. “I’m not kidding.”
“Are Case and Josh still in town?” I asked.
“Doubtful. They have to get back to their own mate situations.”
“Situations?”
Now it seemed important to him that we had company. Sure, he didn’t care about embarrassing me about sex, but once we talked shifter, he was hush hush.
“Are you done with breakfast?” He eyed my plate.
I nodded and followed him up the stairs to the bridal suite.
He closed the door. “Look, we can’t talk about those things in front of other people.”
“But you sure as hell don’t care if they hear me come three times in a row.”
“Was that all? I thought it was four.”
I folded my arms. “I’m being serious, Drew. I’m not trying to out us. They have no idea what we’re talking about.”
“You can’t be careless like that. What if they are agents?”
“Agents?”
“You know, people without power but hired by witches or other shifters as spies.”
I sat on the bed. My head was spinning. “I’ve never heard of agents.”
He brushed the hair behind my ear. “I have a lot to teach you.”
“Can we find my family? That’s what I want. I want to meet my mother and father. I want to know if I have siblings. What if I have sisters?” My mind started to spiral with all the possibilities. I could have an entire panther family out there, looking for me.
“Slow down.” He held my hands firmly. “One thing at a time. You said you have some studying to do. Exams tomorrow, and then we have a birthday to celebrate.”
My face lit up. I could feel it from the inside out. “You remembered my birthday?”
“Twenty-two is a huge one for any panther girl.” He kissed my forehead and stood from the bed.
“Why is that?”
“I don’t want to distract you from your exams. Why don’t you get the studying out of the way, and then we can talk shifter stuff.”
I felt like every time I brought up something related to my heritage, Drew sidestepped it.
“What if we let our honeymoon last a little longer, and then I study? What time do we have to check out?”
“Noon.”
I looked at the antique clock hung over the door. It was ten. I pulled my shirt over my arms and threw it at Drew. “Two hours,” I stated. “Honeymoon me. Take me. Make me yours. It’s all I want for the next two hours.” I shimmied out of my skirt. “I want to scream. I want you to growl. Make me purr.” I walked toward him and threw my arms around his neck. “I want my husband to take his mate for the next two hours.”
He tipped my chin up. “You have a way with words, Mrs. Maddox. It must be that English degree.”
“Kiss me,” I whispered.
His mouth descended on mine, and for the next two hours, the world faded away and I became the only thing I was, a jaguar’s wife.
25
Drew
I waited at a coffee shop near campus while Francesca was on self-proclaimed lock down in a library study room. She swore she couldn’t get anything done with me around. We both knew it was true.
I pulled the mug to my lips and thought about how things had changed in the past twenty-four hours. The list was folded in my pocket. Like a knife poking my thigh, reminding me that my omission was the same as a bold-faced lie.
I held it between my fingers and unfolded it. Francesca was the first. I closed my eyes. How was I going to leave? How would I even explain this to her?
She was a part of me now. I could see her and smell her. I could taste her and remember the feel of her skin. The vows might have been a blur, but it didn’t mean I didn’t believe every word. I pledged myself to her.
Why did the council think I needed to move down the list? Why wasn’t this enough? Francesca was more than enough for me. She was my everything. I didn’t want to leave town. I didn’t want to move on. I wanted her.
I shoved the coffee away from me and looked at my phone.
Case might still be on the road. Sullen’s Grove was at the other end of the state. I dialed my brother’s number.
“Didn’t think you’d surface for a few days.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, well, Francesca has exams, and then we’re going to take a trip for her birthday.”
“Nice. And then where are you headed?” Case asked.
I strummed the table. “Don’t know that I am.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Look, Case. I haven’t had enough time with her. It’s not our fault her birthday was only a few days away. I’m going to take my time here.”
“Like hell you are.” His voice grew louder on the phone.
“What? You’re going to make me leave before I fulfill my duty?” I knew I had him there.
He hissed. “You’re a Maddox.”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about. You haven’t bonded. You don’t know what it’s like.”
“I know what’s expected of us. I know what it takes to claim territory. Are you telling me one girl gets under your skin and you’re giving up on our dynasty?”
I shook my head. “Why can’t we have both?”
“It doesn’t work that way, brother.”
“Well, maybe it should.”
His growl surfaced. “You cannot disobey me. I have given you your directive.”
I balled my fist. “Your highness, I’m going to have to decline.”
“You can’t decline,” he hissed. “There are consequences. The kind of consequences I can’t protect you from. Take your birthday honeymoon trip and then we’ll talk again. I want to hear I have a niece or nephew on the way before we have another conversation.”
I was furious. If I hadn’t been in a coffee house, my talons would have protruded and my fangs erupted, but I tried to keep the beast at bay.
“That’s not how things are going to work with Francesca. We have a future together.”
“You’ve got that right. Knock your wife up and call me.”
He was lucky he wasn’t in front of me. I wanted to rip his throat out and throw him across the room. King or not, he was done ruling my life.
I didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say. His insults. His commands. I hung up before he could utter another word.
I had maybe a couple months at most before the council would order me to move on. There was time to come up with a plan. There was time to bring Francesca into our biggest threat, but today was the day after my wedding. I should be celebrating, not worrying about this shit. I threw a few bills on the table and walked out of the coffee shop.
I was supposed to meet Francesca outside of the library in thirty minutes. I headed in that direction as if I was drawn to her. As if somehow she could give me an answer. I needed her.
26
Francesca
Studying was pointless. I couldn’t think about anything but the candlelight at the wedding and Drew’s face when he saw me walk down the aisle. It was magical. It was a fairytale. It was perfect.
What was more perfect was how Drew loved me last night and this morning. We made a world that belonged only to us when we bonded. If it was up to me, we’d never leave that paradise.
The books were open in front of me, but I hadn’t read a single word. I knew I wouldn’t. I folded the novels and stacked them on the rolling rack outside the room.
I missed him. I had seen him two hours ago, and yet every fiber in my being longed for him. I was
pulled toward him. I hurried and stuffed my backpack with my notebook and pens. I didn’t want to waste another second in the library. I needed him, but I had the strangest feeling he needed me more.
I ran out the doors and down the steps and smack into my husband.
“Hey, beautiful.”
“What are you doing here?” I smiled.
“Thought I’d show up a few minutes early and surprise you.”
“Oh. I thought I’d leave a few minutes early and surprise you.” His hands lined my face as he kissed me deeply.
“So you’re done with the studying?” he asked.
“I think I’ve crammed as much as I possibly can. I’d rather spend the rest of the afternoon with you.”
“How about we talk?”
I looked into his eyes. The bits of playfulness were gone, along with his seductive charm. I felt a rush of panic.
“What is it?”
“Not here.” He looked around. “Let’s go back to the house. I think it’s time I told you about the she-panther’s obligation to her mate.”
I backed up. “Obligation?”
“At the house,” he urged. “Come on. We’ll talk and you can ask all the questions.”
“And you’ll actually answer them this time?”
“Darlin’, I’ll answer everything. We won’t leave your house until you know everything about being a shifter you want to know.”
I didn’t know why I was suddenly so scared, but there was a pit of fear budding in my stomach. Things were off. The euphoria that had encased us this morning was gone.
I wanted to get it back. I wanted to be a new happy bride. I wanted to be a christened mate, basking in what we had shared. Drew’s eyes said that right now we had something else to deal with, and it wasn’t related to the beautiful night we had shared.
“Okay, just tell me I can take it.” I sat on the couch while Drew paced in front of me.
“I don’t know how to tell you. I’ve thought about it all afternoon. I don’t know how to say it.”
“We’re mates. Fated mates.” I looked up. “You should be able to tell me anything.”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He unfolded it and handed it to me. “Maybe I should show you.”
“What’s this?” I read the names. Mine was at the top, followed by others. They were all names of girls.
“It’s my list of mates,” he whispered.
“You mean if you didn’t find me?” I asked timidly.
He shook his head. “No, the names after yours are the ones I still have to find.”
“Still have to find? What the hell are you talking about? We’re married. You asked me to marry you. We bonded. We said vows.”
He sat on the edge of the coffee table, his knee almost bumping mine. I tried to ignore the energy between us. It was there no matter what was happening. It crackled and sparked between us, reminding me of the pull toward him.
“This goes back to your childhood, Francesca. It goes back to the cat lines. It’s bigger than me. It’s bigger than us.”
“Is it your brother?” I growled. “Is this some kind of sick royal order? Did he give you this list? Does he hate me or something?”
“No, it’s not Case’s fault. This has been going on forever.”
“I don’t understand.” I buried my face in my hands. “I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me, Drew, except that I’m at the top of your list.”
I didn’t think he could have stopped himself if he wanted to. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his strong arms around me. The warmth of his chest soothed me for a second, but the hurt was strong.
“I don’t want to leave. I don’t want the list.”
“You promised me an explanation,” I whispered into the flat space on his shirt.
“I did.” He paused. “And you deserve it. You deserve every answer I can give you. Jaguars don’t take only one mate, Francesca. We take as many as the council hands us.”
I closed my eyes. I listened to what he told me.
“And when I started the journey to find my first mate, I thought of it as a rite of passage. I didn’t think about who you would be. I didn’t think about what it would be like to pledge myself to you. I didn’t know what it would be like to take you as my mate. To make you mine.” His voice deepened. “I thought I was fulfilling my duty. Being loyal to the Maddox line.” He tilted my eyes toward his and my heart leapt with desperate hope. “I didn’t know I was going to find you on this list.”
“Are you going to leave me?” It was all I could think about. I would be alone again. Lost in this world. The answers handed to me on a silver platter with romance and a prince, only to be ripped away because of a magical council I’d never heard of.
He squeezed his eyes shut and I could feel his fists harden against my arms. “I don’t want to.”
“That’s not the same as doing it.” I pushed myself away from him. “Are you going to leave?”
“Not if I can find a way out of it.”
“You should have told me.”
“All panthers know their duty. How was I supposed to know you’d be the one who didn’t have a clue?”
I stood, glowering at him. “I was abandoned by shifters! It’s not my fault I don’t know any of this ridiculous shit!”
“That’s not what I meant.” He tried to soothe me, but I was beyond hearing his excuses.
His seduction had worked. He had taken the first wife on the list. He had made me his mate. And I fell for it. Head over heels like a stupid, idiotic girl in a horror film. I ran for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“For a run. I need space.”
He didn’t follow me. He didn’t call after me. I leapt off the porch, feeling the power of my fur transform as I darted through the woods. There weren’t enough miles between my house and the top of the mountain, but I ran anyway. I ran with speed I’d never felt in my legs. I ran until my lungs felt like they would collapse. Once I reached the top, I cried a piercing howl that echoed through the valleys. If Drew didn’t know how I felt before, he heard it now.
27
Drew
My heart was lying on the floor, broken in pieces. The blood spilled by the panther howling on the side of the mountain.
The look in her eye. The tone in her voice. Telling her the truth about the list had cost me everything. She’d come home, but I didn’t know if I’d be able to piece us back together.
Damn it. The jaguar in me wanted to chase after her, but she was hurt. She needed the run. I needed her. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hold her and tell her I wouldn’t leave. I’d stay and take my chances with the council. My promise to her meant something. But I didn’t know how much of it was true.
I’d never heard of anyone defying the council. There weren’t stories about jaguars falling in love with their first mates. I was an unprecedented case. I didn’t care. I could be the first and last. I’d never leave her.
I fell asleep on the couch, waiting for Francesca to come home. It wasn’t until the early morning when I heard the door open.
I hopped up, rubbing my eyes.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Her eyes were glued to the floor. “No.”
She stormed past me. I grabbed her above the elbow. “Talk to me.”
“No,” she growled. “Take your hands off me.”
“I won’t leave. Francesca, I won’t do it. I won’t follow the list.”
She paused in the hallway. “Is that even possible?”
I shrugged. “It’s going to be. I won’t leave you.”
“What about the council?” Her voice softened.
“I don’t give a shit about them.” I gripped her shoulder, spinning her to face me. “They will have to rip me out of your arms. Tear me from your lips. You are my mate. You are my wife. My future. My everything.”
I scanned her eyes for answers. Did she believe me? Did she trust me again?
“Those words are beautiful. As beautiful as the books I read. Everything that comes off your lips melts my heart. But you know that, don’t you? You know what you do to me? You know how your words make me feel? How they turn me on? How they draw me to you?” Her eyes glowered. It was a new shade of green for her.
“You lied. You tricked me. How do I know there aren’t other lies? How do I know there aren’t other parts to being a panther you can use against me? You took my trust in you and used it against me. Do you have any idea what that feels like?” She shrugged off my grip.
“I was fulfilling my duty. I didn’t have a choice.” I gritted me teeth.
She laughed. “Jaguar duty. Tribe duty. The duty of the prince declared by his royal highness Case.” Her lips were inches from mine, but I wasn’t expecting a kiss; she could bite me with that look in her eye. “Your duty broke my heart.” She shoved me backward.
She spun on her heel and walked down the hall.
“Where are you going?”
“To shower. To wash the forest off of me. To wash any trace of your touch down the drain. I want to forget the lies. I want to forget your wasted words. Because that’s all they are—a waste of breath and air.”
“Francesca, wait!” I hollered, but the door slammed in my face.
I had fucked up. And I had no idea how I was going to fix this.
28
Francesca
The run had helped until I saw Drew again. Being close to him reminded me what his body did to me. How it charged every cell. How it brought every nerve ending to exquisite pleasure. But I fought the impulse to touch him. I fought the draw to him. I pushed past the burst of lightning our energy created.
I was a stronger panther than he could even imagine.
I showered and got dressed. My first exam was at eight. I could make it to campus a few minutes early.
I grabbed my backpack and marched past my mate.