Chapter Nineteen
Shepard
Pregnant.
My wife is pregnant with our third child! After everything that’s happened today, that was the last thing I expected Lynette to tell me.
“Pregnant?” I whisper without taking my eyes or my hand from her stomach.
“I wanted to tell you earlier today, but we ended up at Taylor’s. Then she told me that she lost her baby not long ago, and how she can’t carry another one.”
“Jesus!” I hiss. Jack never mentioned anything to me. I understand why today would have been difficult to bring it up, but before this? He must have been going through hell, and he didn’t come to me. I can’t be angry or annoyed about that, Jack will have had his reasons, and they are his and his alone. He’ll speak to me when he’s ready, and I’ll be there to listen and give him the support he needs.
“God, I felt so awful, Vince.”
“Why?”
“Because my best friend lost her baby, and I feel so sorry for her, yet even after everything that happened today,” Her little hands cover mine on her stomach. “Our baby is still in there. I know because I feel it. I was a little scared that I’d lost it, but I haven’t.” Her eyes lock with mine, those beautiful big green eyes shining with sadness.
I have to admit, the second she said she was pregnant, I panicked inside that something could be wrong. Lynette has been through hell and back today, yet she’s still trying to convince me that everything is fine. Lynette is too proud to cry over what happened, but she doesn’t need to be brave or proud right now.
I take Lynette’s face in my hands and tell her, “You don’t have to put on a brave face for me, Lynette. I know you’re strong, but you don’t need to pretend everything is okay.” Tears fill those beautiful green eyes, and it cuts me deeply. I hate to see her crying, but I have to be the strong one right now.
My thumbs stroke under her eyes, collecting the tears that are now falling. “Vincent,” I pull her to me, and she sobs into my shoulder. I rub her back gently while telling her that everything is okay now. For now, it is.
However, there is always going to be someone out there who will come along and try to ruin the life we’ve built for ourselves and our kids. Any day now, some cunt could come along and take what’s mine away from me. The sad thing is? I could be the fucking Hulk, and it wouldn’t make a difference to what could happen to them.
I keep what’s mine protected to the best of my ability. Every form of protection I can afford is mine, but I’m just one man; I can’t be everywhere all at once.
Willow will be leaving soon for college. She’ll be watched from afar. I’ll make damn sure no one can get to her. My wife from now on will be shadowed when she’s not with me. Even though that’s fucking awful, I can’t risk anything happening to her again. No matter what I have to do, I will keep her safe. I will because the thought of ever losing her... I can’t even tell you what it would do to me. Lynette is my soulmate, to lose her would mean losing myself.
Jett is at the stage in his life where he’s quite capable of taking care of himself. He tells me enough. Hell, he proves it every day. I’ll always look out for Jett, but I know deep down that I don’t have to worry about him.
VJ is already smart and knows just what to do when someone approaches you and tries to take you away. He’s showing signs of a young man who’s detached from the world. He never cries, and he never gets emotional about anything. Just like when Apollo died, VJ brushes things off as though they never happened. His anger and sense of self-belief are bordering on psychotic. That’s not a pleasant thought to have about a child who isn’t even seven years old yet, but I know where this is heading. I know my son is going to be a dangerous man with no sense of guilt or regret. I know that I need to teach VJ not to let his compulsions control him. He’ll need to learn that he’s the master of his destiny.
My Maxy, I’m not sure yet what kind of man he’ll turn out to be. I do know that he’s kind and compassionate. Max isn’t going to grow up to be like Jett, nor whom VJ will become, the biker, not the psychopath. Max is going to be a race car driver. Grand Prix if Max has his way.
Now there’s this new baby, boy or girl they will be my life just as their siblings are. Then there’s Nova, the little girl I still, to this day, cannot find. Nothing I do, no amount of men I pay to look for her, to find anything of where she might be, brings me any information that would help me find her.
I hold in my heart the hope that I’ll one day see my little girl again. It’s too painful to think of what kind of life she’s been leading with Celia. It destroys me every day to believe that she might not be taking care of Nova correctly.
My baby girl is sixteen years old now. Nine years of her life, I have missed out on. I can never get those years back. Celia took that time from me, and I will never forgive her.
If I do find Nova what will she think of me? I have no idea what Celia has told that little girl about me, but I know she’ll have poisoned Nova against me. When I find her, she might not want anything to do with me. She could hate me for all I know. That thought alone kills me.
I have so much to live for, so much to be grateful for. I have my beautiful wife, my beautiful daughter, my sons, but I can never be whole until I find Nova.
Lynette moans softly against my neck. I hold her tighter against my body. Hers fits against mine like a glove, always has. I kiss her head. “Everything is okay, baby. Nothing is ever gonna happen to you again.”
“I know, handsome. I’ve got you, and you've got me.”
“That's right,” Despite myself, I smile. Soulmates we are. Two halves of the same coin.
Lynette has fallen asleep in my arms. I’m not surprised after the day she’s had. I lift her up and carry her upstairs to our bedroom. I lie her down, she stirs a little but doesn’t wake. I watch her for a moment with a smile on my face.
I scrub my hands over my face. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my whole life. I shuck off the jeans, and the shirt BlackJack borrowed me, and climb into bed next to my girl. Instinctively, she rolls on her side and into my arms. I wrap an arm around her and close my eyes. Sleeping with her beside me should be easy.
It should be.
Chapter Twenty
BlackJack
It’s been a long day. Lynette going missing was one of the worst I’ve had in a while. I knew if we lost her, we’d lost Shepard as well. At least we found her. Well, she made her way home on her own, and she seemed fine enough to me. She’s a tough cookie is Lynette, she’ll be all right, Shepard will take care of her.
Jose is gone for good, Shepard made damn sure of that. He managed to scare the shit out of some of the younger members, they’ve never seen that side of our Prez before, the maniac who blacks out when the anger takes over.
I’ve seen that side of Shepard a few times, hence why I made sure everyone stayed back. He wouldn’t have meant to, but if anyone had touched him too soon, Shepard might well have turned on them. He’s like a rabid dog when he’s in the zone. I didn’t want us to lose anyone.
It wasn’t until Shepard started to slow down his strikes on the mess he’d made of Jose that I allowed Jett to step forward and take his father’s shoulder.
I’ll keep his kids with me tonight. Shepard’s boys and mine are asleep, as is Willow, so Stryker just told me. Coral is sleeping in his old room because Stryker wants to stay here with us tonight, and Jett went home about an hour ago. I should have stayed here after I came back to check on everything, but I needed a couple of beers, I needed to be alone. Stryker told me he’d take care of things at the house, Taylor told me she just wanted to sleep, and that she’d be in bed waiting for me when I got home. It was a shitty thing to do, leaving my wife alone at a time like this, but my head is a damn mess.
I pulled up outside my house five minutes ago to find Stryker, the boy who is like a son to me, sitting on the porch with a bottle of beer in his hand, looking lost in a world of his own.
&nbs
p; “Got something on your mind, boy?” I drop down on the step beside him.
“What happened to Taylor, Jack?” He turns to look at me.
This is not something I want to talk about with anyone. I’m not ready. I’ve never been through anything like this before, nor has Taylor, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Neither of us does.
“Keeping it inside won’t help any, Jack.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He runs his tongue over his top teeth. “Maybe not, but Taylor means the world to me, you both do, and hearing her sobbing in her room... Man, it broke my heart.”
I scrub my hands over my face. I feel really fucking old all of a sudden. I’m in my thirties, and I feel twice as old. “Taylor had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago,” I tell him.
“When was this?”
“When the kids were with her parents for the weekend.”
“Why didn’t you say anything, Jack?” I shrug. I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself. “You’ve been keeping this to yourself for weeks. You could have come to me, man.”
“I know.” I hang my head for a second. “I don’t know how it happened. When Taylor told me that she was pregnant, I was so happy, you know?” Stryker nods slightly. “She wanted to wait until she was twelve weeks before we let people know. That’s the way we did it with the boys, waited until we got past the period where Taylor could miscarry easily. We dropped the kids off with Leroy and Emelda that Friday night, I took Taylor to dinner, and she started feeling ill on the way home. Soon as we got here, she collapsed. I took her to the hospital, but it was too late, the baby was gone.”
“Jack, I’m so sorry.”
“She can never have another baby, Stryker.” He sucks back a deep breath, and I can see the pity in his eyes. “The doctor said the miscarriage was so bad that it left scar tissue behind, so much that Taylor’s womb would never carry another child. It broke her.” And then some. It broke me too.
“When she went to the store with Lynette earlier, she told Lynette what happened. Neither of us had told anyone before that moment. I guess Taylor couldn’t keep it to herself any longer, not from her best friend. Lynette dragged me into the den when they got back and yelled at me how Taylor had broken down to her. She thinks I blame her for what happened.”
“And do you?”
My eyes narrow, my nostrils flare. “Do you really think I’d fuckin’ blame Taylor for something like this? It wasn’t her fault! It wasn’t…”
“Yours either,” He cuts me off with his words, and I'm stumped. “It wasn’t your fault, Jack. I know you better than you think I do, and right now, I know you’re blaming yourself, and that’s why you can’t talk to Taylor about this. You’re scared you’ll break down in front of her, and you think that will make you look weak in her eyes. But shall I tell you something?” He's going to anyway. “You will never be weak in her eyes, Jack, because you’re Taylor’s hero. Right now, she needs you. She needs you to let it all out so that she can also. Hold each other, talk about it, let it out, help each other move forward.”
Fuckin’ little shit!
I close my eyes and breathe back my emotions. I don’t know how to deal with this. That woman in there is my life. She’s all I know, my one and only. She’s in pain, and so am I, but I don’t know how to help Taylor through this when I don’t know how to get myself through it.
Stryker clasps my shoulder. “You don’t have to be strong right now, Jack. You are the best man, I know. You’ve been more of a dad to me than my own ever was. You’re my hero, man. You’re Dante and Dominic’s hero, and the Lord knows you’re Taylor’s. You need each other right now more than you ever have. Don’t hide these feelings from your wife. There is nothing the two of you can’t overcome as long as you’re honest with each other.”
Where the fuck did this kid come from? All the hell he’s lived through in his short life, and he’s still grounded. He’s one of the best friends a man could ask for. I haven’t even told my actual best friend what happened, but I’m sure Lynette will before the nights out.
I wrap my arm around his shoulder and pull him to me, hugging him hard. “Thank you,” I tell him.
“I love you, Jack. I’ll always be here for you. If you can’t be strong right now, then don’t. I'm here. I can be strong for you.” Fuckin’ kid is killin’ me.
“I love you, too, Mark.” I kiss his head, slap his back, and make my way inside. I need to find my wife.
Taylor is asleep in our bed. I watch her for a moment, loose curls splayed around the pillow beneath her head. She’s only wearing a cami and tiny shorts, no sheet covering those light mocha colored, toned legs of hers. She’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Every single thing about Taylor is beautiful. Everything from her smile to her very soul.
I strip out of my clothes, right down to my boxers, and sit in the chair beside the window. A light breeze blows through the open window, blowing the white muslin curtains into the air. I close my eyes for a second and breathe deeply. My grandmother once told me that to feel a sudden breeze in the heat, when there usually wouldn’t be a breeze, is the spirit of a loved one who’s passed, their way of telling you they are with you and that they’ll never be too far away.
My baby girl, that’s who just blew through the room and right over to her mother. I imagine her kissing Taylor’s head and whispering in her ear that she loves her. A tear falls from my eye. We’d only found out through a blood test the day before we lost her that she was, in fact, a little girl.
We were so happy because we’d always wanted a daughter. We gave up any hope of having another child, so many years after Dominic was born, but we never wallowed over it, we were content with our boys.
I remember the day I met Taylor in town. She was wearing tight jeans, a tight blue top, sandals on her little feet, curly hair tied up in a bun, lost in a world of her own, she bumped into me, almost falling but for the fact I caught her. She apologized, and the second our eyes locked, I was lost to her. She told me her name, I gave her mine, and I knew right then she was mine.
Taylor and I met up in secret many times over the following months. In secret, because my parents were racist, and I knew if they found out I was dating a girl with a black Daddy, and a white mother, they’d send me away so I couldn’t see her anymore. Knowing Taylor just an hour, I knew I couldn’t risk that happening, I felt something so special for Taylor, and I didn’t want to lose her.
The first time I kissed Taylor, God, I almost died with how hard my cock was, I’d never felt anything like it. The sparks behind my eyes, the fucking fireworks going off in my head, the electricity we both felt, I knew we were meant to be. I knew it at that moment without one doubt in my mind. However, Taylor was fifteen, and there was no way I would have done anything I shouldn’t have, meaning push her into sex before she was ready. I was a couple of years older than Taylor, I knew better than to sleep with a girl of Taylor’s age. No matter what I felt for her.
Of course, I wanted her so bad my balls ached each time we kissed, but Taylor was too scared to go any further than us kissing and groping until we came, and I was completely okay with that. Taylor was sixteen when she first let me take her with my mouth. Fuck, I have never been so hard as I was right at that moment. Then she sucked my dick, and I thought I’d die right then and there.
We’d been together six months before I met her parents. They were worried about me being older than Taylor, but I seemed to make a good impression on the laid-back couple, I liked them, they were so outgoing, and they never had a bad word to say about anyone. Taylor’s dad gave me the usual father routine, telling me not to pressure his youngest child into sex before she was ready. I was as honest with him as I could have been, and I gave him my word that I would never force Taylor to do anything she wasn’t ready for.
Forcing any woman just wasn’t then and isn’t now in my nature. I was already in love with Taylor by that point, and even the thought of forcing my bea
utiful girl into sex made my stomach churn.
I spent every Saturday afternoon at Taylor’s, having dinner with her and her parents. I met Taylor’s older by fifteen years sister, her husband and young son, Tallon, who ended up becoming Roman in the years that followed. I met her much older brother’s and their families. They all welcomed me into their lives and made me one of them. I loved being part of their family. Leroy told me that I was family to him and Emelda now, and that meant so much to me.
Then my father found out I’d been seeing Taylor, and he made damn sure I stayed away from her. It fucking killed me, but he made some pretty fucked up threats that had me a little scared of what would happen to the girl I loved more than life itself if I didn't do as he wanted.
I’d known Shepard a while, I knew his biker family, I knew Titus also. Something else my father hated. They were a little older than me, by seven and eight years, but we were friends. They took me under their wings when I was just six years old and lost in the woods. I’d wandered off away from my mother one day, so she told me, and I got lost. Titus and Shepard were fishing in the lake. I saw them and approached them.
They looked at me like I was a little feral child. I must have looked a mess. My clothes were torn from where I’d fallen in the woods and gotten my shirt caught on thorns. My hair was a mess, and my face was streaked with dirt. I'd been crying because I was lost, but hey, I was six!
‘You lost, kid?’ I nodded my head at the biggest boy. Both boys set their fishing rods down and made their way over to me. ‘What’s your name?’
‘Jack. What’s your name?’ I didn’t feel scared of the older boys, and I remember how I felt safe now that I’d found them.
‘My name’s Vince, this is Michael.’
‘How old are you, Jack?’ Michael asked.
‘I am six. How old are you?’
Michael laughed and told me, ‘I’m thirteen, Vince is fourteen. Where’s your momma, little man?’
The President's Wife: Prequel (Snakes Henchmen MC) Page 14