by Claire Adams
“I wish your mother was here. She’d know just what to say to calm us both down. You’d probably be laughing right now.” He looked away from me and closed his eyes. I wasn’t sure what to think of that. Was he supposed to be getting tired? Was that a result of his fever? Would falling asleep hurt him? I couldn’t wake him up, though. He seemed peaceful, like he’d just gotten the first bit of peace he’d had all day.
I wish I felt the same way. All I could do was sit and stare at him, watching his chest rise and fall, listening for those little sounds of distress that only a parent could recognize. His breath started to slow, and I started to panic. I jumped up to run out into the hall to find somebody then stopped halfway there. If I ran out there screaming for help, they’d probably have me dragged out of there. It wasn’t fair. If I wanted to make sure my son was all right, I had to stay calm. That didn’t make any sense.
Abel’s doctor passed by the door. “Something’s wrong,” I told her before she could walk away.
“What is it?” she asked, her hands on her hips.
“He’s breathing slower.”
“He’s probably sleeping.”
“Can you at least take his temperature?”
“Fine, but I’m not coming back in there for a half hour after this. I don’t care if his head explodes.”
“Just do it.” I stepped aside to let her in.
She flipped Abel over, and he erupted with a high-pitched wail. “What are you doing? He’s a baby. Be gentle.”
“Listen.” She pulled out her thermometer and stuck it in without a second’s hesitation. “I’ve got two people ready to bleed out on me and a heart patient that needs constant care.”
“And an infant that could be dying.” I stepped closer.
She pulled out the thermometer. “He’s not dying.”
“You don’t know that.” I took another step closer.
“Look.” She reached out to show me the thermometer. His temperature was ninety-eight degrees. “He’s not dying. In fact, he’s ready to go home. So, get to the chopper and get out of my hair.” She rushed out.
“What if the fever comes back?” I yelled.
“Then bring him back. Just please wait until my shift is over.”
I took a look down at Abel. He’d stopped screaming, and now his eyes were starting to droop. I knew that I should probably feel a little ashamed of myself for the way I treated her, but this was my boy. I wasn’t going to let things go to chance.
He was fine. I knew he was, and I knew that I was overreacting, but that didn’t make it any easier to stop. I called Mona.
“How is he?” she answered.
“His temperature’s down. The doctor says that we’re done here, but I don’t want you to let him leave your sight for a second. I can’t have this happening again. I can’t take it.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said a thing to you about babies dying from fevers. It turned into a huge disaster.”
“Now I’m all shaken up, and the way you guys kept telling me to calm down—it just made things worse.”
“It’s okay now, Archer. I’ll be with him all day while you’re at work. I’m not going to let anything happen to him.”
“Don’t. I’m calling a car.”
The whole way home I kept checking on Abel, lifting the blanket away from his carrier, pressing my hands to his cheeks. Once Andrew fell asleep, Mona asked, “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay. He could’ve been hurt. What if this happens, and there’s nothing we can do?”
“Life is fragile and messy, and there’s nothing you can do to prepare for it. That’s not because you’re inadequate or because you can’t handle things. Things just happen.”
“I know that.”
“But you don’t like it. You can’t lie to me. It scares the shit out of you, and if you don’t come to terms with it, you’ll never be happy.”
“These are my children. I can’t sit around wondering whether or not they’re going to survive.”
“Every parent goes through this. It’s about learning to look at things realistically, even when you’re panicking. It’s not easy, but I know you. You can do this.”
I imagined Zoe with her hair tied back in a ponytail, sweating and red in the face with eyes drooping as she ran around, trying to get one twin to sleep and then the other. Then I saw her in the ER, watching me freak out on that lady.
Food service wasn’t easy, especially when you had to make everything from scratch. She worked harder than I did, and it was obviously burning her out. She wasn’t going to stick around and put up with this. She was too busy trying to build her life up. Even if she wanted to, she didn’t have time to take care of two shrieking twins all night or spend her time in the ER. Once she found out what my world was like, she was going to run. I already knew that. I knew how dangerous our relationship was, and I chose to pursue it anyway. I was being selfish.
I wanted to say that she was worth the risk, and part of me felt like she was, but I could see the way things were going. If this continued, we’d have to part ways. It might not happen right away. She might even accept the twins, but eventually, things would go wrong, and she’d walk away. The longer I let this draw out, the more attached we’d get to each other and the harder it would be when she finally left.
Mona must’ve noticed that I was lost in thought because she spoke up. “What’s wrong?”
I stared out the window. “Nothing.” My voice was quieter than I thought it would be.
“This isn’t about Abel and Andrew, is it?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Maybe not.” She moved the blanket covering Abel’s car seat to check on him. He seemed peaceful.
“You’re right, Mona. They need a woman’s touch.”
“They do.” She patted me on the leg and looked out the window.
Chapter Fourteen
Zoe
The first Sans Contracting employee came in the morning after Archer brought my cookies to the office. At first, I didn’t know what to think of the man. He had long red hair that flew out in all directions and pale skin covered in freckles. The funniest part was his beard. It’d been braided in one long line that fell all the way down to his belly button. He looked like a ginger sasquatch that’d been tackled by a bunch of little girls that braided his hair.
Chloe whispered to me before she walked back into the kitchen that she wanted to kick him out, but he had real money, so I wasn’t going to turn him away. I couldn’t believe it when he reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the business cards I gave Archer. He said the entire office had gone crazy over the cookies, and he ordered four dozen orange and ginger snaps for the mechanics.
After that, we had a steady stream of office men and burly giants coming in making orders, all of them saying the same thing: Sans Contracting was hooked on Zoe’s Bakery.
The first day was hectic. People were coming in left and right, and we could barely keep up with the orders. The orange and ginger snaps were the most popular. They sold out within three hours, so I had to keep Chloe back in the kitchen, mixing them up while I stood out front helping the customers.
Then, people started ordering danishes and muffins, even pies. We had to work late into the night every night that week just to keep from running out of the essentials. By the time Friday came around, Chloe and I were so tired that we could barely walk, but it was exhilarating.
Archer had changed everything. I didn’t have to stand around staring at the door, wondering whether or not somebody would come in. I had a steady stream of people coming in, and money was flowing. We made three times our normal profits for the week. I could’ve easily closed that place down for the morning without having to worry at all about what would happen, but I wasn’t about to do that.
No, this was the chance of a lifetime. I was going to rake in every cent I could. Every morning, I downed two cups of coffee and started early. I mopped the floor, swept everything, and m
ade two extra batches of orange and ginger snaps.
Chloe limped in a few minutes before I opened the shop. She went straight for the coffee and poured herself a cup while I wiped the counter down. “I’m going to crawl into a corner and go into a coma.” She slammed her coffee and poured herself another cup.
I put my rag away and grabbed a bottle of window cleaner and handful of paper towels. “Not a chance in hell, sweetheart. I need you here.”
“I’m going to need a cane.” She grabbed a donut from the display case.
“We’re almost over the hump.” The weekends were always slower because the office crowds weren’t around.
“Easy for you to say. I’m going to be here alone tomorrow while you sleep off your night of sweet lovin’.”
I turned my head to hide my smile, but it was too late. She was already glaring at me.
“What?” I asked. “You were the one who told me to go out and have some fun.”
“You’re going too fast. I can see it. You’re already planning out your wedding vows and looking up cake recipes.”
“That’s not true.” I finished wiping the display case and moved onto the next.
“Look at the way you blush every time I mention him. You’re like a teenage girl. It worries me. He’s just one guy, money or not.”
“It’s not the money.”
“What is it then?” She chugged her coffee and poured herself another cup.
“I don’t know. I’m not even sure there is an ‘it’ yet.”
“I am. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before. Remember yesterday?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” She stood her ground.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“We need to. I’m not making up for your mistakes in the kitchen.”
“Why not? I make up for yours all the time.” I turned my focus back to cleaning the display case.
“You burnt two batches of cookies because you were staring into space, dreaming about lover boy. He’s distracting you from work.”
“Distracting me?” I set my bottle down and stood up. “He tripled our business this week.”
“It’s only going to get worse.” Chloe sighed and walked into the kitchen to pull her apron on. I wanted her to understand, so I followed her back.
“I’ve thought about this a lot, you know,” I said.
“I can tell.”
“No, I mean it. Don’t think I don’t know why you’re worried.”
“Why?”
“Because you think I’ll get too attached. Then if things don’t work out, I’ll end up getting my heart broken.”
“Not if, but when. When things don’t work out. And they won’t. It doesn’t make any sense. If he’s rich like you say he is—I mean look at him. He’s not exactly a Mormon choir boy. He’s a dog. He can get whatever he wants, and he knows it. He’s not going to go slumming it with ninety-nine percenters like us. He’s going to screw you silly and drop you.”
“Maybe,” I said. “Maybe it’s a bad idea. Maybe he’s going to hurt me. Maybe you’re right, and you’ll be able to say, ‘I told you so,’ when it all falls apart. Maybe it’s a big stupid risk. But look around you.” I motioned around the kitchen. “We wouldn’t have any of this if I played it safe. I have to take risks in life if I’m going to get anywhere.”
“You don’t even know if he’s worth the risk.”
I nodded. “No, I don’t. But I have to find out. This could be a good thing.”
“Or it could keep you from achieving your dream.”
“I’m not going to let that happen. For now, can’t you just let me hope that Archer is the real thing? Can’t you just let me be happy?”
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said. “You’re right. It’s none of my business.”
“No, honestly, you’re right to worry. You want what’s best for me. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t say a word.”
“Thank you.” Chloe walked up and gave me a hug. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I know. But if I do, at least I know you’ll be here for me.”
She laughed. “Damn straight.”
“Now, what are we missing?” I asked, looking around the kitchen.
“We should be making those orange ginger snaps.”
I walked back into the walk-in. “Ugh,” I groaned and ducked down to lift up a crate of oranges. “I’ve got orange zest permanently embedded under my fingernails.” I carried the oranges out into the kitchen.
Chloe was standing in front of the stove surveying the spices on the shelf above it. She pulled out the ginger, allspice, and nutmeg. “We’re going to have to order some more ginger soon. We might not make it until the next shipment.”
“I’ll go to the grocery store and get some if I have to. Those things are too popular to let them run out.”
“Those nasty mechanics will probably come in here and tear the place apart if we don’t have them.”
“Nasty?” I laughed and ducked down under the counter to pull out a sack of flour. “Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you were looking at that Samoan yesterday.”
“Eh, he was pretty hot, but he had this blank look in his eyes like there was nothing behind them. I’ll bet he could barely read the menu. If I’m going for the gold, I want a man who can hold his own in an intelligent conversation.”
“That’s a must.” My phone started ringing in my pocket. It was Archer. Chloe glanced my way and rolled her eyes when I answered it. “Hello?”
“Hi,” Archer said.
“You made my week. I just have to say that. I’ve had people coming in by the dozens, all of them saying that they loved the cookies you brought to the office. You must’ve given everybody one just to make sure they all tried them. The entire company is hooked. I swear. We can’t even keep up with orders.” I walked into the lobby for some privacy.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“It’s been amazing. I made almost a month’s worth of income in a week.”
“That’s good.”
“I don’t know how you did it, but I really have to thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“What’s the plan tonight? Are you thinking dinner? I loved the scampi last time. Maybe we could go to a lobster place. They have one a couple blocks from the bakery where they make their own biscuits, and they fly the seafood in fresh from the coast every day.”
“About that…”
“Or maybe something exotic like Thai food? I haven’t had--”
“Zoe, stop.”
I braced myself against the counter. “What’s wrong?”
“I hope it’s not too much trouble. I just don’t think I’ll be able to go this evening. I have to stay after work and deal with some paperwork.”
“Oh,” I said, trying not to sound too disappointed. “That’s all right. We can go Saturday. I’m off.”
“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling like an idiot.
“I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t tell whether he was being sincere about that or not. His tone was neutral. Maybe he didn’t care. Maybe he was trying to hide the fact that he didn’t really want to cancel. I wanted to ask him why, but I didn’t want to sound desperate. I wasn’t, but I was disappointed. And I still had no idea what was going on with him. It seemed like something was holding him back from being with me, and I wanted to know what it was.
“It’s okay,” I said, doing my best not to reveal my feelings about it.
“Thanks for understanding.” And just like that, he hung up.
Chloe must have noticed the look on my face. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
I told her about the short and unpleasant conversation.
“Well,” she said. “At least we know he won’t drag things out any longer. It’s a lot easier this way.”
“True, but I can’t help but wish
things were different.”
“He’s got a secret, Zoe, and it can’t be good. You probably don’t want to have anything to do with him. Besides, you don’t want a man with that kind of money. It’s not your world. It’s too complicated.”
“You’re probably right. I just wish I didn’t like him so much.”
“Just figure out a way to hate him, and you’ll forget this ever happened.”
I shook my head to pull myself out of my funk. “It’s nothing. Let’s get back to work.”
“Maybe if we hurry, we can get out of here before midnight,” Chloe joked.
“I’ll stay all night so long as we have enough orange and ginger snaps.” I quickly lost myself in my work. This was my life. It was the only thing that mattered. If he wasn’t right for me, he wasn’t worth my time.
Chapter Fifteen
Archer
There was a knock at my office door when I hung up the phone. “Come in.”
Rick walked in and sat down. “How are you?” he asked.
“All right,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “How about yourself?”
“These techs are driving me crazy. They’re running around acting like they just invented the nuclear bomb.”
I forced myself to laugh. “At least they’re excited about the project.”
Rick nodded. “I suppose so. They’re talking about rigging up the heat sensors to alarm the pilot when certain temperatures are identified. I think it’s a good idea.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“It would take us some time to write the software, but we can probably get it working by the end of the quarter.”
“That works.” I took a sip of my coffee.
“You look like you just came back from the dead.”
“Nah, I’m just tired. Abel woke up his brother in the middle of the night. It took me two hours to get the boys back to sleep.”
“Least you’ve got something to look forward to tonight, eh? You’ll be up all night, but at least it’ll be worth it.”
“No.” I shook my head. “I had to cut her loose.”
“What? Dude, last time I talked to you, you were practically whipped. What happened?”