by Claire Adams
I stepped around her.
“You loved him,” she said.
I stopped halfway to the lobby door and felt the tears falling down my cheeks, blurring my vision. I had to keep my back turned. She couldn’t see me cry over him. I’d already made an idiot out of myself, swooning the way I had been. That was over. I was a successful business owner, a baker, and a friend—nothing more. I couldn’t be with him.
“You want him.”
“Yeah, well that doesn’t matter because it’s over. He’s not going to take me back after I rejected him. It’s like you said, he saved my life, and I kicked him to the curb.”
“I hope you’re wrong.”
“I do, too.”
Chloe came around and gave me a hug. It was nice knowing that even though I was cruel and cold-hearted, somebody still cared. I was starting to tremble, softly, then hard with quick, tear-jerking sobs that rolled down my body. I had to hold onto her just to keep from falling over.
“I did love him. I loved him so much.”
“I know.”
“I’m so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid.” I kicked the wall, and my foot went through, sending me crashing forward into the wall. I fell down onto my knees.
“Come here.” Chloe reached her hand out to help me up.
“No!” I flailed my head around. “It’s not right. He should be here.”
“He is.”
“No, he’s not. He probably hates me.”
“No, Zoe. He’s staring right at me. Clean your face up and go out there right now, and don’t you dare fuck this up.” She wrenched me off the ground, and I rushed out into the lobby, around the counter, and threw myself into his arms. He didn’t push me away or try to stop me. He opened his arms and pulled me in.
We both were shaking. I was laughing and crying, and he refused to let me go. He pulled me closer and let me cry as long as I wanted. “You heard me, didn’t you?” I asked.
“I love you.” He pulled back and grabbed my hands. “I love you, Zoe. I don’t want to let you go. I can’t.” I stared at him, hoping to find some way to convince myself that he was real. I could feel him, I could see him, but after everything I’d put him through, he couldn’t possibly be here with me.
Even with all that happened, he still looked beautiful, with his hair disheveled, and his beard starting to grow out again. I could see the signs of stress. His eyes were bloodshot, and there was a cut on his cheek. He didn’t hate me.
“I’ll never give up on you,” he said.
I grabbed him by the back of the head, pulled him forward, and slammed our lips together. “I love you,” I whispered.
“Come with me.” He took me by the hand and led me outside into his limo. When I got in, I scooted close to him. I felt like I had to touch him at all times. I still couldn’t believe that he was real. It wasn’t possible. “I’m still really conflicted about the way I acted.”
“Don’t be.”
“No.” He pulled back. “I don’t think I can feel comfortable with what I did.”
“Archer.” I rested my hand on his thigh. “I’m at peace with it.”
“Why?” He rested his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. I could feel the tension rising in him. I had no idea that he was so shaken up by what he did. It just reinforced my belief that he wasn’t the monster I’d made him out to be.
“Because of your intentions.”
“I intended to kill him.”
“Because you wanted to protect me.”
“I almost killed him.” The intensity in his eyes was palpable when he glared at me.
“You’re not that guy.”
“I am.”
“No.” I grabbed his hand. “If you were, you wouldn’t feel bad about it at all.”
He squeezed my hand and turned to look at me. “You really think that?”
“Would I be here with you if I didn’t?”
“No,” he said. “I guess you wouldn’t.”
“And I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you. I’m the one who screwed up. You’ve always cared. You’ve always wanted me, even when you were pulling away. I don’t understand it, but you’re loyal. That’s more than I can say about most men.”
“Thank you.”
“I mean it. You mean a lot to me. I feel like I can trust my heart with you, and I never trust anyone. It’s you and Chloe, and that’s it. You’re the same way. That’s why I know you’re for real. You never would’ve let me come around your boys unless you were certain that you could feel safe when I was around them.”
“I do trust you. I just don’t feel like I can trust myself.”
“Have you ever lost control like this before?”
“No, but…”
“Then it’s not a part of who you are. I can’t believe that I did this to you. I made a huge error in judgment, and now you’re taking it to heart. That’s what this is. Don’t you get that?”
“It’s a lot to carry around.”
“I feel the same way, but you were there for me. We went through it together. We didn’t work against one another. You didn’t come at me. We were victims, both of us, fighting for our lives. He could’ve stabbed you. He could’ve had a gun on him. You didn’t know. When you ran in there, you had to attack him. He was going to come at you.”
“You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?” he asked.
“I spent all last night trying to tell myself that getting rid of you was the right thing. I wasn’t going to come around until Chloe practically drilled the truth into my head, and then there was no coming back from it. I hurt you.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I want to make that clear. Archer, this has nothing to do with you. I don’t take risks, and I don’t like surprises; you know that. I sabotaged the whole thing because I was worried that you would hurt me, and there was no way I could be certain that you wouldn’t. That’s all it was. All of the rest of that crap was just an excuse.”
“We both did that.”
“I think that we both need something to cling to so that we can be sure.”
“I’ll hold on to you if you hold on to me.”
I laid my head down on his shoulder. “Promise?”
“Promise.” He turned my head and kissed me. I felt all of the pain from the past few days wash away. I couldn’t believe that I’d ever questioned our relationship. How could I? He was the only person that could keep me grounded and make me face the crap I put myself through. Without him, I was lost, stuck in a furious frenzy, trying to hold myself together. He was the same way. We needed each other.
“I want you to come to dinner with me tomorrow.”
“I can’t think of anything I want more than to spend a night with you,” I told him.
“Good.” He kissed me on the cheek and let me get back to work.
Chloe was standing at the register, looking around when I walked inside. “You’re not fooling anyone. I know you were trying to see what was going on.”
She ran around the counter, tears flying down her cheeks, and threw herself into my arms. “I’m so glad it worked out.”
“It had to.” We were both crying now. “I couldn’t live with myself otherwise.”
“You can’t ever do that again. He’s not a monster. He’s a good father, a hard worker, and an amazing boyfriend. I won’t let you hear the end of it if you leave him.”
“I know you won’t. Let’s do some baking.” I playfully shoved her into the kitchen, and we spent the rest of the day talking and crying and laughing with one another.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Archer
I took a risk. I swallowed all of my pain and all of my inhibitions, and I went down to the bakery. I was certain when I walked inside that she would run me out of the store, or even call the police. I was petrified, but I confronted her anyway, and it felt like one of the best things I had ever done.
I still couldn’t believe that she could see past my fl
aws, especially after what I’d done. She thought I was a killer, but she loved me anyway.
The real tragedy was the way I beat myself up over what’d happened. She loved me for who I was, regardless of my flaws.
Mona was waiting outside my door when I grabbed my things to walk downstairs. “Well? What happened?”
I threw my arms around her to give her a big hug. “You’re a miracle.”
“I am.” We laughed, and I drew back. “What did she say?”
“We both thought that my losing control was a reflection of who I was.”
She scoffed. “Well, that’s a bunch of bull.”
“She said that she loved me.” I’d never been so proud of anything, not since the boys were born.
“She did!”
“Mm-hmm, and she’s coming to dinner.” I motioned for her to follow me into the kitchen.
“Do you know what you’re going to cook?”
“I have no idea. I stayed up for hours last night trying to decide, but I think I’ve exhausted most of my options, and I don’t want to try another recipe and end up screwing the whole thing up. Imagine how pathetic I’d look if I burned it.”
“You need a woman’s touch,” she said.
“I have that.” I started looking through the cupboards. “What I need is a chef.”
“I can cook.” Mona pushed me aside to look up into the cupboards.
“Cook what?”
“I don’t know yet. Maybe I’ll text you when I decide.”
Mona’s food was divine. It was comfort food with a splash of gourmet flare, built from solid recipes. I’d never tried anything that I didn’t like before. “It would help. I’ve got loads of work to do, and I don’t want to have to rush things.”
“Good, it’s my turn anyway. Dinner will be ready when you get here, and I’ll take the boys. You can even tell her that you made it.”
“Thank you, Mona. I’ll try not to come back too late. If there are any delays, I’ll let you know.”
“Don’t you dare keep that girl waiting.”
“I don’t plan on it.” I grabbed my things and headed off to work.
Angela was waiting at the back entrance when I pulled up. She was holding a thick folder close to her chest and staring down at her phone. She rushed up as soon as she saw me.
“Yes, Angela?” I got out.
“You’re so stupid. You nearly missed the best opportunity you’ve had in a decade. Have you checked your phone?”
“No, what did I miss?”
“The Marines and the Air Force have been up my ass this entire time trying to get ahold of you.”
“Why?”
She practically threw the folder at me. “These are their orders.”
“Orders?”
“There are three men upstairs who are ready to ship me off to Gitmo if I don’t find you.” She walked inside.
I ran after her. “What do they want?”
“They want you to contract with them.”
I stopped halfway through the door, and it slammed me in the back. “Contract with them?”
“Why did you think they sent you orders?” She was getting frustrated.
“That’s going to double our business.”
“Get up there—now.” She pointed at the elevator.
I straightened myself out and strode into the office, my back straight as if I were a soldier being confronted by his commanding officer. I didn’t ease up until they left my office and I had the contracts in my hand. They were ordering nearly ten thousand units to start, and they had questions about every one of our products.
When the meeting was over, I called Angela on my intercom. “Nope.” She hung up.
“Angela,” I tried again.
She sighed. “Listen, I know you’re having a personal crisis or whatever, but I’m not signing your name to anything else. I’m getting carpal tunnel.”
“No, n—I’m so sorry for all the trouble I’ve given you.”
“Good, because I bought myself dinner last night and me and the girls went out for drinks.”
“On the company card?”
“I’ve been working 16-hour shifts for two weeks.”
“You may have one designer outfit.”
“Really?” She rushed in and ran around the desk to hug me.
“Okay. Just one.”
“And lunch.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“And lunch,” I agreed.
“Thank you.” She rushed out.
“Close the door,” I called out, but she was gone.
Rick walked in. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I turned back to my paperwork and picked up the pen to make it look like I was writing something.
“You still moping?” He took a seat at my desk.
I moved the pen around over the paper.
“What’s wrong?”
I set the pen down. “Nothing.”
“So, you wanna catch a beer with me tonight?”
“I have a date.”
“Ah, she hopped back on it.”
I went back to pretending to write. “I’ve got a lot to do.”
“Fine.” He walked out and shut the door a little too loudly.
I leaned back in my chair so I could take the moment in. Rick didn’t matter. I was staring at contracts from all the major divisions of the United States Military. If things went well, and I knew they would, the Palantir would be flying in a good majority of the countries jets within two years, and Rick was already working on improvements. This was more than a multi-billion dollar contracting firm. It was a major supplier. I never thought this would happen.
Work wasn’t a chore. Most of my day was spent spreading the news around. The entire office was excited. We were expanding, and there was a lot of preparations to make. It would be a lot of hard work, but everyone would benefit.
Some of the girls from accounting went down to Zoe’s Bakery and set up a small buffet of sweets on the ground level. Everyone made their rounds, eating and talking. I didn’t spend much time with them, but the excitement was infectious.
Normally, I would’ve been exhausted by the time it was ready to go home, but I had dinner to look forward to. When I got in the car, I called Mona.
“Dinner’s ready. Are you on your way?”
“Yes, what did you make?”
“I’m not telling.” She hung up.
I called her back. “Mona, she’s allergic to water, nuts, citrus, and grain. I have to know right away.”
“I’m not telling.”
“How are the boys?”
“Abel walked again. His brother’s been copying him, but he hasn’t been able to do it since the other day.”
“Really?”
“Yup, I got it all on video. Do you want me to send it to you?”
“Yes, is Abel still shaky?”
“Yeah, but he’s able to stand up without holding onto anything for a while. He grabbed the remote from me when I was watching Days.”
“Good, those shows will melt your brain. You shouldn’t be watching them anyway.”
“But Dalton was just about to come out of a coma.” My call waiting beeped. “I have to go get the boys ready.” I hung up.
“Hello?”
“Hey.” It was Zoe.
“Hey, everything’s set.”’
“Good, I was just about to start getting ready.”
“I’ll see you soon.” I rested my head back and closed my eyes until we pulled into the driveway. When I came inside, I had to stop for a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light. It was almost pitch black aside from the waves of candlelight reflecting off of the marble. My eyes traveled up the stairs, where the old, trampled carpet had been replaced with a rich purple velvet, sprinkled with white rose petals that I knew would lead up to my room.
The smell of roasted, dark meat mixed with the sharp wisp of herbs and vegetables, and of course, the vanilla of the fragrant candles.
I pulled out my phone to call Mon
a. She ignored it on the third ring. “How did you do this?” I texted her.
“With help,” she said.
I called Leti, my housekeeper. “Hello?”
“Leti, what happened today?”
“Mona called me and she told me that you had a list of things that you needed us to do. Why? I thought you knew.”
“Did she get everyone to help?”
“Of course. You didn’t know?”
“It’s fine. Have a good night.”
“You, too.”
“You are a miracle,” I texted Mona.
“Wait till you eat!” she replied.
I decided to wear something formal. It didn’t matter whether or not Zoe was going to dress up. She probably wouldn’t. I was marking the occasion. I changed into a white button up, with my hair swept to the side, and a black jacket.
I was just about to put on my cologne when I heard the doorbell ring. There was no fear, no anxiety, just anticipation. I didn’t say anything when I opened the door. I couldn’t. Zoe was wearing a white designer gown, with her hair curled and swept to the side and bright red lipstick.
“What?” She pulled up on the ruffled bodice. “Does it look okay?”
I grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. There was no hesitation. I couldn’t hold myself back. When I pulled away, she wasn’t blushing or overwhelmed. She was smiling and staring at me with a look of pure desire.
“Would you like to come in?”
She hooked her arm in mine and stepped inside. “You did all this?”
“Mona told me to take the credit.”
“I’ll give it to you anyway.” She pecked me on the cheek, and we walked into the dining room.
“Wow.” Zoe turned around slowly to take in the room. The chandelier had been lit up, casting beams of rainbow light that hung over the white and purple flower displays lining the walls.
“It’s wonderful.”
“It’s just what I needed,” she said.
“I have a feeling that’s yet to come.” We walked into the kitchen. There was a note sitting on the counter. Zoe grabbed it before I could. “What’s it say?”
“Don’t fuck this up. Dinner’s in the oven.”
We both stepped up. “You do the honors,” I said.