by Claire Adams
I dropped down and yanked my suitcase out from under the bed. It had been a long bus ride back to Monterey, but Ginny had arrived just minutes after me. She'd heard more than enough via cell phone to know that I probably needed a ride back to Santa Cruz.
I stood up and slammed the suitcase on the bed. "Maybe. Maybe we'll never know, because I'm leaving. He doesn't need me around anymore, except for one thing–that is definitely never happening again."
Ginny clapped her hands and then swung open the closet door. "All right, then, let's do this. We'll get you packed up and out of here. You can stop by the lounge on your way out of town and tell them you can't perform this weekend."
I unzipped the empty suitcase, but the zipper felt heavy. "I forgot about my gig."
"It's okay. There's karaoke tonight in Santa Cruz. I bet we could even get Joshua to give it a try. With you back in town, he can finally stop moping around. Maybe this was the perfect way to shake him out of his rigid, little plans. Joshua's probably ready to finally hear what you want." Ginny pulled out my short row of sundresses.
I caught them before she dumped them in the suitcase. "I'm not going back to Santa Cruz for Joshua. This is ridiculous!" I marched my clothes back to the closet and hung them back up.
Ginny smothered another smile. "So, you're not leaving?"
"The thing is, I don't need a man," I declared with my finger up to the ceiling. "I finally broke away from Joshua, and thank God for that. He had my whole life planned out as if I were some paper doll. And we only ever looked good on paper. Did you know he couldn't even light a fire in the big fireplace at his parents' home?"
"Not the outdoors type," Ginny said.
"And, I don't need Penn," I bellowed. "I only used him to break me out of a rut, and now I'm out. I've got great ideas for my own company, my own brand of hospitality, and I don't need him for any of it. I'm going to be a success on my own."
Ginny couldn't stop a giggle. "Which is why you and Penn got along so well in the first place."
I glowered at her while I dumped out my suitcase and shoved it back under the bed. "I'm even going to stay here just to prove how little he means to me. His parents still think we're engaged, and I still have my singing gig in town. I've got everything I want, and I don't have to let Penn mess it all up for me."
"So, you're not coming back to Santa Cruz," Ginny grinned.
My hands dropped. "Oh, Ginny, I'm sorry to make you drive all this way."
"Not a problem," she said. "How about we make use of Penn's great kitchen while you're still here."
I laughed, feeling lighter than I had all day. I linked arms and led Ginny out to the kitchen. "And leave a huge mess for him to clean up when he gets back. If he gets back. Maybe he got the point and will leave me alone for the rest of the summer."
"I don't think that will be the case," Ginny nodded to the door.
My chest filled up with hot ash as I saw Penn's car sweep into the driveway. "How about we go out for dinner? There's a great place just up the beach; we can use the back door."
Ginny waved over our shoulders at Penn as I dragged her down the steps from the deck to the beach.
#
I was shocked to see Penn leaning against the kitchen counter when I headed to the door for my morning run. His hair was a mess, as if he'd just rolled out of bed, but he was dressed in sweat shorts and a black tank top. I refused to notice how great his arms looked. The tattoos were in the way, a definite detraction, I tried to remind myself.
"Good morning?" Penn asked. He handed me my water bottle.
"You're up early." I snatched the full water bottle from his hand and headed for the deck door.
Penn followed me. "I was worried you'd be gone. I don't want you to go. Can we please talk?"
"No," I said. I heaved open the sliding door and stepped out into the chilly morning breeze. "There's nothing to talk about. I'm staying because I want to hold up my end of the deal. Remember, it's just business."
"So, you'll stay?"
His flabbergasted expression made me turn around. "You'd been hit with big news and you were upset. Or do you actually think I've been sitting around daydreaming that you'd ask me to marry you?"
"I just thought-"
I didn't let him finish whatever he was going to say. Instead, I bounded down the deck stairs to the beach. Penn was right behind me, but I ignored him and started running. He caught up to me and settled into a pace that matched my own.
I scowled and veered away from him to the wet sand. It was easier to run there, and I picked up the pace. Penn groaned, but matched me stride for stride. So, I headed away from the water to where the sand was deep and hard to run through. It was punishing, but I was in a foul mood, and every time Penn grunted, my anger got lighter.
He was still keeping up, and now, I was starting to sweat. My lungs burned, but I ran faster. I didn't need Penn in my life. I knew how to be alone, and I preferred it that way. So, I ran to escape him, and the feelings I had decided to shut off.
"What is this, a race?" Penn gasped.
"If it was, you'd be the loser," I snapped and stretched into a sprint.
"Damn it." Penn charged after me, and I felt his fingers grab my tank top.
He pulled me to the side, and my momentum swung me all the way around to crash into his arms. We fell to the sand. I shoved him away from me, but couldn't get my footing in the loose sand. As he struggled to stop me and I struggled to get up, we both started laughing. The battle turned into wrestling, and when I ended up on top, Penn took my face with both hands and kissed me.
I should have slapped him, or clubbed him with some nearby driftwood, but my body ignored me. I could still feel the smile on his lips, the challenge met with equal force. We were evenly matched, and it was delicious.
Too bad Penn was too egotistical to notice, I thought. I had the sinking feeling it would take a huge scene to make him notice I was in love with him. The thought revved up my heart faster than our sprint through the deep sand.
I pushed him down in the sand and got up. "That doesn't mean you won the race," I said and started jogging back.
Penn scrambled to brush the sand off and match me stride for stride again. "So, what does it mean?"
I blew out a labored breath. "It means that I'm staying, but only for a few more days."
We climbed the steps back to his beach house. I could barely lift my feet, not from the run, but from the realization that it really did matter what Penn thought of me. I wanted him to love me, and the only reason for that was because I loved him. It felt like a fatal diagnosis. I wondered how many days I could take before my heart couldn't take anymore.
"Will you be here tomorrow night?" Penn asked as he opened the sliding door for me.
"Yeah, I guess," I muttered.
Penn caught my wrist and cleared his throat. "Speaking of our business deal, there is a charity ball at the golf club tomorrow night. My parents are going, part of their engagement celebration. I'd like you to come with me."
I gaped. "A formal event? Tomorrow night? I don't have a dress."
Penn rolled his eyes. "That would be your first thought. Don't worry. I have a tailor coming to fit me with a new tuxedo. I'm sure he can bring along some choices for you."
"Penn, that's asking a lot," I stammered.
"What if they are all designer labels? You can have your pick." Penn dropped my wrist.
I slammed the sliding glass door behind me. "I told you I would hold up my end of the deal. Now, how about you honor yours. You told me I would have a place to stay rent free, where I wouldn't be bothered."
I shoved past him and headed for the guest room. The steam and heat of the shower had finally unlocked the knots in my shoulders, but not the confusing tangle in my heart. So, when there was a knock on the door, I tensed up again.
"What now?" I snapped.
No one responded. I cranked off the shower spray, wrapped a towel around myself, and stalked into the guest room. No one was th
ere, except three, beautiful dresses hanging over the doors of the antique wardrobe. One was a Ralph Lauren dream in sleek ivory. The next was a bold pattern from Vera Wang.
"No contest," I whispered as I moved to stand in front of the third dress.
The classic, Yves Saint Laurent dress was in deep, midnight blue. The tight-fitting corset featured a sweetheart neckline and a satin band before the full skirt billowed to the floor. I knew it was perfect, and I hoped with every fiber of my being that it would knock Penn on his sorry ass.
#
I stopped at the bedroom door and opened it a crack to listen. Xavier had arrived, Alice was freshening up downstairs, and we were scheduled to leave for the ball at any minute.
I turned for the eight hundredth time and gazed at the beautiful dress. It hung untouched in its place on the wardrobe. The tailor had not needed to do any adjustments. The dress fit so perfectly that I didn't even need to wear anything under it, no push-up bra, nothing. But, still, I was wrapped in a robe and the dress was on a hanger.
I couldn't go. Penn already thought I was shallow and materialistic. There was no way I could enjoy the spectacular dress, navigate the opulence of a high society charity function, and prove to him that I was more like him than anything.
It was insane, and my hands reached out to the dress again, but I pulled back and stayed strong. What I really wanted from the evening was to spend time with Penn. The real Penn, not the Penn who was constantly harping on how dependent people were on images.
"What is she waiting for? Her fairy godmother?" I heard Penn snap.
"Don't be unkind," Xavier said. "You have a beautiful woman dressing up just to spend the evening with you. Trust me, it's worth waiting for."
I heard Alice join them with a throaty giggle. "Oh, stop, Xavier. You're embarrassing Penn."
"I'm not embarrassed. I'm just trying to figure out where he gets off telling me how to be kind," Penn said.
"Your father is a very kind man, Penn." Alice's voice was soft but firm. "I know you remember good times, too. So, we have our dark memories and we haven't been the closest family these last few years. Maybe that's a good thing because it means you two can start fresh. Just think how amazing that would be-a fresh start and our family all back together."
"And expanding," Xavier said. "Just wait until you see the dress that Corsica chose."
"If she ever comes out," Penn groaned.
Alice cleared her throat. "Be nice, Penn. For goodness sake, I don't know how she puts up with you."
I leaned my head on the door. I should have known that Xavier had made suggestions and helped select my wardrobe choices. He was thoughtful and kind, but his son was determined to remember only the very worst of him.
Now Penn was fuming because he was so used to thinking he was better than his father, and here was Alice pointing out it wasn't true.
Penn stomped down the hallway. In a panic, I vaulted over the bed and spun around to pretend I had just come from the bathroom. I had done my hair and make-up before I came to my senses, but it was too late to undo the elaborate upsweep style now.
"Corsica?" Penn knocked hard. "I'm coming in."
I crossed my arms over the robe. "I thought we agreed that since this is a business deal, I would have my privacy."
"This is my room," he said.
"Only because you insisted I get ready in here," I hissed. "As if your parents would care if I was using the guest room."
Penn's eyes flew open. "You aren't even dressed yet. Corsica, what are you doing? I thought you'd be dying to go to the fancy snore-fest."
I deliberately turned away from the siren call of the beautiful gown. "If you're not excited about it, why do you care if I'm ready or not?"
"We're going with my parents. They're ready to leave," Penn gestured to the door. "Come on, let's go."
I turned my back on him and faced the bathroom door. "I'm not going. In fact, I was just getting ready to take a bath. Your suite does have the better bathtub."
Penn's hands were on my shoulders, and he spun me around. He was devastatingly handsome in his tailored tuxedo. The crisp black shirt and sleek tuxedo jacket covered up the majority of his tattoos, and I noticed that he had trimmed his beard. It was short and smelled of a bergamot vanilla aftershave that weakened my knees.
"What are you trying to do?" Penn asked. His dark eyes peered into mine.
I blinked. "I'm not trying to do anything. I'm telling you that I'd rather stay here and soak in the bathtub with a good book than go to, what did you call it? This 'fancy snore-fest.'"
"You're lying."
I looked him straight in the eyes and hoped he saw what I meant with my whole heart. "I would rather stay here and talk about camping and outdoor sports equipment all night than go to this charity ball."
Penn let go of my shoulders as if I had burned him. "Since when did you make a one-eighty?"
"I'd tell you that I've enjoyed my summer, especially visiting Pinnacles and camping, but you seem determined to not believe me." I wrapped the robe tighter around me. "Maybe I've changed. Maybe you've helped me figure out who I really am."
He snorted. "Maybe. And, maybe I should remind you of the high and mighty speech you gave earlier about holding up your end of the deal. We're pretending to be engaged to make my mother happy and to keep my father off my back. So, tonight we're going to the country club together."
He marched to the door, but stopped when I asked him. "What would you rather do tonight?"
When Penn didn't answer, I got angry. He slipped out and announced loudly to his parents that I was almost ready. Fine, he wanted to be so blind; that was his problem. I would hold up my end of the deal. I ripped off the robe and slipped into the heavenly dress. The full skirt whispered as it settled around me. I glanced in the mirror, but my only thought was I needed the stunning gown to be my armor.
I felt Penn's eyes sweep over me for the twentieth time as he helped me out of the limousine later. My cheeks were hot from the glances he'd given me in the car. Xavier and Alice were happily whispering and shooting us knowing looks. My gut twisted as I thought about how disappointed they would be when they found out it was all a lie.
"I'll save you all the formal introductions," Penn said. "Just look around and enjoy yourself. I'll get us some drinks."
He left me standing in the arched doorway to the ballroom, and I was glad the dress I chose fit to perfection. It didn't matter that I was now alone or that I was the only woman not sporting blinding amounts of jewelry. I smiled back at the heads that turned my way. I knew how to handle a crowd like the one at the country club. Joshua had taught me well.
Still, I found myself drifting away from possible conversations. I slowly and casually made my way to the open patio doors. The party spilled out into the night, and some guests were even strolling through the darkened gardens.
"You read my mind," Penn grumbled. He appeared at my elbow and handed me a crystal flute of champagne. "Did you write my name on any silent auction items?"
"No, but I should have," I said.
Penn chuckled at my prickly tone. "You'd do that to the penniless black sheep?"
"Oh, is that who I'm with?" I asked, keeping a pleasant smile in place. "I could have sworn you were my perfect and perfectly fake fiancé. Thanks for the drink."
"Now what are you mad about?" He sipped his champagne without batting an eye and surveyed the room. A half dozen faces nodded to him.
I studied him. "You seem to know a lot of people here. How long ago did you cut yourself off from your father?"
"Not soon enough," he muttered. "I can't believe they are getting married."
I watched Xavier and Alice strolling arm in arm and felt a twist of jealousy in my chest. They deserved their happiness, while I was faking mine. It was becoming more than I could bear.
"Now that your mother is feeling better and they have a wedding of their own to plan, don't you think we could tell the truth?"
Penn shook his head
. "Not yet. It'd look bad."
I wondered if he meant he would look bad, but his friends joined us and saved me from my dismal thoughts. Phillip, determined to be happily single, brought another round of champagne while Bill and Tamara stood smiling at each other.
"I know, right? They're disgusting. Happy couples are so strange to me," Phillip said.
"That doesn't mean you're giving up on being part of a happy couple, does it?" I asked.
"No, I'm not going in for the Penn Templeton everyone-for-themselves outlook on life." Phillip laughed and took another sip of champagne. "Oops, I mean… Are you having a good time?"
Phillip's slip-up nagged at me, and I couldn't keep up the polite conversation. "No. I'd never thought I'd prefer some back country camping site, but this just seems so forced."
I didn't know Penn had been listening to our banter until he leaned over my shoulder. "It's not so bad. Phillip can teach you all his fun society games, like test-the-hair-extensions and spot the Botox injection site."
I turned to Penn. "Is your last name still Templeton?"
Alicia appeared at Penn's elbow and slipped an elegant hand through his arm. "You don't know your fiancé's last name?"
"Stay out of this, Alicia," Penn warned.
"Out of what?" Alicia tossed her glossy hair. "It's ridiculous for her to pretend she doesn't know you're Penn Templeton, owner and CEO of the largest and most successful outdoor sporting goods retailer. His biggest success is in research and development."
The willowy heiress winked at me as if the whole subject was incredibly boring and old news. I struggled to return her nonchalance, but my stomach took a sick dive. I handed Phillip my glass of champagne and staggered backwards out of our conversation.
"Oh, darling, that dress is fantastic, but you don't look so good," Phillip said.
Alicia tittered. "What an actress! I am impressed. As if you don't know every dime of his multi-billion dollar fortune. Penn's only been all over the headlines since his company made the Forbes list."