“What? What do you mean?”
“It’s your first Thanksgiving together, I’m not coming over to intrude.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Papa. You’re family. Thanksgiving is about family. You have to come over.”
“No. You spend the day with your husband, Ellie.”
“Zachary won’t even be here,” she said. “He’s working.”
“On Thanksgiving?”
“Of course. He works hard.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I understand how important it all is to him. I’m fine with it. But it means that there’s no reason for you not to be here.”
“Of course there is,” he said with a sigh. “Do you really think that your husband is going to be happy to come home from a long day of working to find me in his house?”
“But –”
“No, Ellie. Think about it. Think about how this all came to be in the first place. The man won’t want me anywhere near the pair of you. I’m not coming between you. And I’m not intruding. Besides which, Frankie and Laila aren’t coming over to spend the day with Herschel and Dana so they invited me to spend the day with them.”
“The Lowensteins are good people, Papa.”
“That they are. And I’ve already told them to expect me so I can’t upset their plans now.”
“Alright,” she said with a sigh. “But you have to come over soon. I miss you, Papa.”
“I miss you too, but I’m your pa, I’ll always be a part of your life,” he said before Ellie heard him break into another coughing fit. Waiting it out, she found herself suddenly feeling down at this turn of events. She was going to be alone for Thanksgiving, a time she had always spent with family and friends around her. Even when she’d had to work she’d had others surrounding her. Today she had no one. The staff had been given the day off to visit family, and Ellie was well and truly alone.
There wasn’t any point in even cooking anything elaborate to celebrate. There was nobody to eat it, after all. When she got the chance she’d head downstairs and see what leftovers the cook had in the fridge and decide on how to make a small festive feast for herself. It would most likely consist of a turkey sandwich, but now that she was vividly aware of how alone she was she didn’t much feel like eating at all. In fact, why not just spend the whole day in bed?
No, she wouldn’t do that. She’d go stir crazy. Well, she had a whole day to figure it out, she’d come up with something no doubt. And if she didn’t then she’d have spent the whole time thinking up an idea, which would help pass the time as well.
“You have a good day, Ellie,” her dad finally said when he’d caught his breath again. “I’m going to go and make myself presentable for the neighbors.”
“Okay, Papa. You have fun with the Lowensteins. And pass on my love to them,” she said with a forced smile in her voice.
“Of course. I love you.”
“Love you too,” she said and heard her dad sigh before hanging up the phone.
Sitting in her lonely and large bed, Ellie frowned over her life and stared at the phone in her hand. Something was tickling her senses, some sort of feeling that something more was wrong with everything, but right now everything seemed to be so wrong that she couldn’t pinpoint what it might be.
With a shake of her head, she threw back the covers and got up, ready to dress in her own comfortable clothing, before she spent the day with her own company.
* * *
Looking at all of the paperwork surrounding him, Zach sighed. How had his father done it? It was a question which he’d often asked himself since Duncan McCormack had died, and he still didn’t have an answer. Though he did early on recognize and sympathize with his mother’s plight at the time.
She truly had been overlooked and neglected by his father. The man had had no time to give his wife. Not when everything he had had gone into his business. It was no wonder that she hadn’t stayed loyal to him, the man had shown absolutely no loyalty to her and their wedding vows.
The thought caught Zach by surprise and he froze in place. When he was younger he’d blamed his mother for leaving. When he’d discovered what had driven her away he’d thought that he’d understood her motives, and intellectually he supposed he had, but he suddenly seemed to understand it emotionally.
The woman had been left utterly alone with no one around her. Her husband had never prioritized her. He’d never shown her that she’d meant something to him, that she’d been important enough to him. She’d always been second place to the business. Always. He’d known that in his head when his mother had described her life through her own eyes years after the fact, but suddenly he was seeing it with his heart.
A woman deserved better than that. A woman, especially a wife and mother of a man’s child, deserved to know how special and treasured she was. She hadn’t deserved his father’s treatment of her. Yes, the man was busy making money and building an empire, but it should never have been at the expense of his marriage and his wife’s loyalty.
With a sudden appreciation of everything that his mom had gone through, Zach reached over for the telephone on his desk and dialed her number.
“Hello?”
“Mom?” he asked to the female voice.
“Zach? It’s good to hear from you,” she said with a smile in her voice as the shock dissipated. “Happy Thanksgiving!”
“You too,” he returned.
“I have to say that I’m surprised that you’d even remember the holiday, but I suppose now that you’re married you’ve realized the purpose of these little celebrations and time together,” she rambled happily, and Zach shifted uncomfortably. “It’s good to hear from you though. How are you? How’s Ellie?” she beamed, and Zach thought of how to answer that.
“I’m good. She’s good.”
“Is she there? Put her on,” she requested, and Zach looked around his office. He wasn’t sure why he did, it would have to be a miracle for Ellie to pop up in the room, she was safely ensconced back in his house, as far away from him as that stupid contract would permit.
“She’s not here right now, Mom. I wanted to take a moment to talk to you myself,” he hazarded and heard the silence on the other end as his mother registered the change in tone in his voice.
“Oh? What about?”
“I was just thinking. Thinking about you and Dad, I guess,” he started and heard her sigh on the other end.
“Zach, that’s all in the past. Leave it well enough alone.”
“I know, Mom, but … well I realized something all of a sudden. And I guess I needed to talk to you about it.”
With another heavy sigh his mom replied with a simple, “Okay. Go on then.”
“I always blamed you,” he confessed. “When I was younger I thought that it was all your fault. I thought that you were the one who’d done wrong, that you’d betrayed Dad and left him with no justifiable reason for doing so,” he said.
“I know, Zach,” she said sadly. “It wasn’t that –”
“I know. I do know. It wasn’t that simple. I get that. When I reconnected with you and listened to everything you said I could see that things weren’t as black and white as my small mind had conjured up. You weren’t the evil cheating spouse that had used the wealthy and hard-working businessman. I got that the circumstances were different than what I’d first thought.
“When you told me about it all, about how lonely you’d been and how little time you’d had with Dad, I could see where you might have been coming from. But I never truly understood it. Until today. Until right now,” he said and heard her inhale sharply.
“I could logically understand that you weren’t happy and wanted someone to fill a void, but I hadn’t ever really grasped the situation fully. I never saw or imagined how you might feel, knowing that you’d never be your husband’s priority, knowing that you’d always be placed second after something like a business. Not even another person, but a business, Mom. I didn’t get that. I didn’t under
stand. I didn’t comprehend how that would make a woman feel, to know that she was never going to mean more than the pieces of paper on her husband’s desk.
“But I think I get it now. I think I can see what happened with you. I’m not saying that it’s all Dad’s fault, I’m not sure that he even really understood what he was doing or was able to see how it affected you, kind of like I never understood until right now. I’m not even saying that you were right to cheat on him, you weren’t. That’ll never be right, and I’m never going to think otherwise on that point. The fact is that you should have divorced him first,” Zach added firmly before continuing more gently.
“But I can understand now how incredibly lonely and undervalued you must have felt through it all. I can understand how your confidence would have been shattered by the knowledge that your husband never thought of you, didn’t take the time for you. I get that that must have affected you. And I get why you’d so easily fall for a man who could provide you with that sense of self-worth. A man who’d value you for what you truly were and who wouldn’t neglect you for the sake of making a few more bucks,” he said sincerely and could hear small sniffles coming from the other end of the phone.
“I’m sorry that I never understood that before, Mom. I’m sorry that I placed all the blame at your door for so long, and none at Dad’s.”
“It’s fine,” she said through her tears. “You were so little. And your father was a good man, he really was. He just …”
“Wasn’t a good husband,” he supplied.
“He just had his priorities confused,” she corrected. “I know that at some point he loved me, Zach, and at some point I loved him too. But as the business grew, the man I loved disappeared, and the love he felt for me seemed to transfer to his business instead.”
“It was like his mistress.”
“No. It was his wife. I was like his mistress,” she corrected, and Zach processed that. “I was always there for when he didn’t have to spend time with the business. I was expected to be there, available at his beck and call. I was the woman who he bought trinkets for to keep onside and was the woman kept waiting in the wings. The marriage was over long before I left, Zach.”
“I know. When you moved into the other room.”
“No, not then. It was the start but I was hoping that moving there would help us. Your father often spent time working late at night, sometimes in our room. He started to resent me when I asked him to come to bed, to turn off the light and put his work away. So I thought that if I slept elsewhere it would help.
“He’d come to me when he wanted and I would welcome him happily when he did. But then he kept coming less and less frequently. He’d spend longer working, longer away, more time on his own or in his office and study. Eventually he stopped coming all together. Eventually he didn’t even notice me, didn’t even speak to me. He never came home for meals, never took me anywhere special. The only times that he would acknowledge me was for the charity dinners that we attended.
“At the start I’d crave that time with him, it was the only time I got. But then I realized that even when he was sitting next to me he wasn’t there. He didn’t seem to even know that I existed. I could have been doing anything and he’d have never noticed me. His mind was always on work, always on business, always on the next deal to be made.
“Charity dinners were even more lonely than being at the house. And even more frustrating because I had a pretense to put on, a role to play, one that I was desperately trying to enact with no help from the man beside me, the man who was supposed to be there for me as much as I was there for him.
“So I started to beg off them. I started to stay at home instead, and that was the end. We didn’t talk, we didn’t see each other, we didn’t have anything to do with one another’s lives. And he was happy that way, Zach. That’s how he wanted it.
“I did talk to him about a divorce,” she confessed, “but he told me that he had too much going on to have to deal with it at the moment. He told me that we’d get around to it at some point if I really wanted, but he didn’t understand what I had to complain about. In his mind I was well cared for. He just didn’t see that no matter how much I had materially, without any sort of emotional payment I had nothing.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m sorry for what you had to endure.”
“I worry,” she said softly. “I worry that you’re so much like him,” she confessed, and Zach looked around his office again. He couldn’t deny the claim, and thinking back to the previous night and his behavior towards Ellie damned him even more. Though things were vastly different with him and his wife than they had been between his mom and dad, Zach couldn’t deny how easy it had been to dismiss her.
Though that wasn’t entirely true. He’d been aware of his wife. Hadn’t he been complaining internally that he couldn’t completely get her out of his mind? But on the surface he had dismissed her, left her to fend for herself, and as devious as she’d been he wasn’t sure that she’d deserved that.
It was amazing to think that his current situation and his parents’ end situation were so similar. Ellie was in a separate bedroom, he worked all the hours he could to avoid her, he tried as best as he could to avoid having to eat with, speak to, and spend time with the woman he’d married.
The difference between them, however, was the motivation behind it all. Zach kept his distance because he didn’t want to grow closer to his wife. He needed to keep his distance from the woman. He was worried that she could lure him in. He was attracted to her. There were times when he admired her. There were moments when he found her engaging and interesting. All qualities that he didn’t want her to have, didn’t want to recognize in her.
His dad, however, had avoided his mom because he hadn’t even noticed her. Zach was noticing Ellie too much.
“I’m worried that you’ll make the same mistakes as him, Zach. And you’re going to end up all alone as well,” she continued, and he focused back on his mom’s voice. “I worry that you’re going to drive your wife away if you’re not careful,” she said, and Zach almost snorted at that. He wished he would. Wouldn’t that make life easy? Except if he did drive her away with reasonable reason she’d take everything from him in the process.
“Ellie’s not going anywhere, Mom. Don’t worry,” he assured.
“Don’t be too complacent, Zach. You make sure that you treat that girl well. She deserves it. She’s a good girl. And she’ll be good for you if you let her.”
“She’s a peach,” he said drily.
“Zachary McCormack!” his mother snapped.
“Mom, my marriage is perfectly fine. Ellie’s perfectly happy with everything between us,” he said honestly. The woman really was, she had everything she’d set out to get and had as little to do with him as possible with it all. She was fine.
“Just make sure that you keep it that way, Zach,” she warned. “And make sure that you don’t mess up.”
“When have I ever failed?” he teased and heard his mom groan.
“This is real life and relationships, Zach, not school or business.”
“Is that Zach?” he heard a voice in the background ask and smiled at his sister’s question. “Let me talk to him. Hey you,” she said eagerly, and Zach’s smile broadened.
“Hey yourself. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“I like Ellie even more now if she had you remembering to phone your family on the holidays. Maybe next year you’ll give us all a heart attack by actually visiting us on the day. Though I suppose you want to spend this first one with your new bride,” she teased, and Zach rolled his eyes again at the interference of the women in his life.
“How are you?” he asked, ignoring all of her other comments.
“I’m fine. Foaming at the mouth at the smell of Mom’s cooking. How about you? How’s married life treating you?”
“It’s fine. We went to –,” he said and stopped when he heard his sister telling him to hold on a minute as she had a call coming through on
her cellphone. Zach just sat there taking in all of his work in front of him while he waited for his sister to come back on the line to him. He had a lot to do, but suddenly, and unexpectedly, he didn’t find the same pull drawing him in with it all.
“Sorry about that,” Tessa said after a few minutes, snapping Zach’s attention back to the phone in his hand.
“A love interest?” he teased, and she laughed at that.
“Something like that. Anyway, you were saying something about going somewhere,” she prodded.
“I took Ellie to the Thanksgiving charity dinner last night.”
“Ugh. I thought that you liked your wife,” she teased. “Anyway, did she enjoy herself or did you spend all evening talking business and leaving her sitting there like some sort of lame duck?”
“Uh,” he hedged.
“Oh, Zach,” she said sadly and with disappointment. “The poor girl. Her first time at one of those things and you completely ignored her, didn’t you? What did she do?”
“She was perfectly fine,” he defended.
“Uh huh. So you danced with her then? Swept her off her feet and lavished her with attention, and made yourselves the envy of every other couple in the room?”
“She danced.”
“With you?” she prodded, and Zach cringed. He’d never lied to his sister and hated the fact that he had to about the true state of his marriage with Ellie, but he wouldn’t lie about this.
“No. Clive needed an escape from all of the bored housewives and I offered him the use of Ellie,” he said and heard Tessa snort in disgust.
“You make her sound like a piece of property, Zach. You offered your friend the use of your wife?” she asked incredulously, and he winced as he heard his own words flung back at him.
“Not like that.”
“Sounds like that.”
“I was busy –”
“Of course you were. Too busy to dance with your own wife. How many other men hit on her while you were too busy making deals?” she asked, and Zach frowned over the question as he thought back to Oscar and his behavior.
Bonds of Matrimony Page 14