“Sienna swung by to drop off my casserole dish and I insisted on her joining us for dinner.” Amanda walked up to where Brett was and kissed him lightly. “Hard day at work?”
“Back breaking,” he said. He looked at Sienna for a second and smiled reluctantly. “Sienna…hi.”
Amanda thought he was acting a little strange.
“Hi, Brett,” Sienna said, smiling.
“Are you okay?” Amanda asked and he nodded.
“Yeah, I just need to freshen up,” he said and she gently patted his shoulder.
“You do that. I'll have a glass of wine and some food waiting.” Amanda held his chin and turned his face to look into his eyes. “Hey, are you sure you are okay?” she asked and he nodded.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m just fine,” he said before he walked out of the kitchen.
“Did he look a little off to you?” Amanda asked when she walked back to the kitchen and Sienna shrugged.
“He did say he was tired,” she said as she pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“I guess.” Amanda walked back to the kitchen.
“This looks…incredible,” Sienna said smiling. “I cannot tell you the last time I had something that didn’t come out of a box.”
Amanda smiled.
“Well, I am happy to host you, Mrs. Sienna Phillips.”
*****
The next day was busier for Amanda than she had hoped. The Hong Kong piece had brought more hits to her site than ever before. It was even bigger than the African safari piece she had done and that took her two whole months, her busiest most engaging piece yet. She’d been contacted by two travel blogs and one of the world’s leading travel agencies, Travelocity, looking to partner with her on her site. She loved the sound of that.
Endorsements.
With all the meetings she had scheduled for that day, Amanda knew that she would not make her lunch date with Brett, something they had been talking about doing for the last week.
“I hate canceling babe, but this is a big deal,” she had said as the two went to bed that evening.
“You know you will have to make this up to me, right?” he asked and she nodded.
“Anything,” she said in a whisper. “Maybe we could go to that French place you like so much and then later come back here and…” she never got to finish her sentence before he was kissing her and his hands were all over her. Caressing and fondling.
“Let’s just stick to dinner tomorrow but I want my dessert right now,” he said in a whisper as he pushed the pajama shirt she was wearing upwards to expose her breasts.
Thanks to the active evening Brett had given her, she was a little groggy that morning but she somehow managed to power through her meetings and somehow, she was done with her meetings way earlier than she expected.
It was almost midday when she drove back to the house. She frowned when she saw Brett’s sedan in the driveway. She could not think of any reason why he would have been home at that time. And it was not like he had mentioned anything either. She opened the door and walked into the living room. She frowned when she saw a near empty bottle of wine and two glasses.
“Brett,” she said in a voice lower than she had expected it to be. She gasped silently when she saw a high heeled shoe at the bottom of the stairs. She looked up the stairs and for a moment, she wanted to scream. There were pieces of clothing, a sure proof that two people could not have waited long enough to undress each other.
Against her better judgment, she walked up the stairs and the closer she got to her bedroom, the clearer it all was. She could hear two people in what was unmistakably the tangles of passion. Her heart was racing as she walked up to the door that was not even closed. When she pushed it open, she regretted it almost immediately. She was looking at Brett and Sienna so caught up in their own passion that they didn’t even realize she was standing there. She wanted to look away but she couldn’t. She wanted to move, get away from there but she was somehow rooted to the spot.
“Fuck you Brett,” she suddenly said before she ran down the stairs and back into her car. She knew that she should not have been driving but she could not stop. She didn’t want to stop. All she wanted to do was get away from everything. Get away from Brett. Get away from the lie that had been her reality for a long time.
Chapter 2
Amanda didn’t know just how long she had been driving before she finally pulled up in front of The Three Towers hotel in New York City. Considering her long history with Brett, she would have wanted to forgive him. To give him another chance but all that went out the window when she finally got the courage to confront Brett. She already had an idea of what she wanted to hear.
She would have wanted him to say that it was a mistake. That it was a one-time thing. That there was something she did to warrant this kind of unfairness but that was not what she found out. The affair between him and Sienna had been going on for months. At least seven months as far as she could tell. That was why their relationship changed. The reason why Sienna stopped being the friend she was to her. She hated that it took so long for her to notice what was happening between them. It had been so obvious. The signs had been right in front of her and for some reason, she had not seen it. Even the way Sienna had acted when she walked into her house…she could have seen something was aloof. But she didn’t, until now.
Amanda and Brett had swapped cars. So when Sienna walked into the house, she had expected to see Brett. That was why she had been so awkward…Amanda should have known. Even the strange look Brett and Sienna shared…Amanda sighed. She felt so stupid. As soon as she talked to Brett and then Sienna, she knew more than she had hoped to. The two of them had been taking her for a fool for the better part of the year.
This was the worst Christmas holiday yet. She had packed a couple of bags when she went back home to talk to Brett and his mistress and once she was back at the Three Towers, she didn’t know what she was going to do. She wanted to go back home. To the house she bought. To the home she was supposed to be making with Brett, of course without Brett in it. That would have been divine. But there was a voice at the back of her head telling her that there was no way Brett was going to leave that house. And she could not stay there knowing that she was going to see Brett and Sienna every single day without pulling her nine millimeter Smith and Wesson out of storage. And there was more that influenced her decision. She had been feeling sick lately, a lot which was strange because she generally had quite the strong stomach. She had never been one to Google her symptoms but this time, she didn’t feel like she had a choice and every single page was pointing out the same thing. Something that she wished was not true.
“I can’t be pregnant,” she said to no one in particular as she checked out page after page on her computer. She then took her phone and looked at it for a long second before she opened her calendar. As she scanned the calendar, she could feel herself panic. She had not realized until then that she was late. She suddenly felt her heart rate spike. “I can’t be pregnant,” she thought again as she got up from the bed and grabbed a jacket and her purse. Her head felt a little cloudy as she made her way to the drug store downstairs and got a couple of pregnancy tests.
She was not sure what seemed longer. The walk back to her room or the five minute wait after she peed on the stick. When she saw the positive results on both tests, she felt like her heart was breaking all over again. She tossed the tests in the trash before she sat on the bed.
Her thoughts were all over the place as she scrolled through her emails. She sighed when she saw a reminder of an email she had been avoiding. An email from, Kayla Agostini, a lady she’d met back in France. Back when they met, Amanda had noticed that she and Kayla were very much alike. They both liked testing out what was different in their tourism rather than sticking to what search engines would suggest. Amanda took a long deep breath. It was her fifth night at the Three Towers and she suddenly knew exactly what she had to do. She was breathing hard and deep as she m
ade a call to Emilia.
“Hello,” Emilia said in a groggy voice.
“Emilia, hey…it’s Amanda.”
“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Emilia asked and Amanda sighed. It was around nine thirty in New York which meant it was probably four in the morning.
“I’m sorry love…I have not been keeping a good record of time lately,” Amanda said. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“You sound like this is actually worth me waking up before the crack of dawn.”
Amanda wanted to roll her eyes and say something like ‘no kidding’. But she was too exhausted. Both physically and emotionally.
“The offer to come over? Is it still on the table?” she asked.
“Of course.” Emilia sounded a little more alert than she had been a few minutes earlier. “Sweetie, want’s going on? You sound stressed.”
“I just need a time out.”
“Of course, you can come over any time you want.”
“Good. Because I am booking the next flight out of JFK.”
“Oh,” Emilia muttered. “That’s sudden….but okay…do you want to talk about…whatever it is that has you all frazzled?”
“No. I just…I don’t really want to talk about this over the phone,” she said in a soft voice as she walked to the window. “I just want to get away from it all.”
“Anytime you want to come over, my door is always open for you,” Emilia said.
“Good. See you soon,” Amanda said before she hung up. She walked back to her bed and looked at the available flights.
She was still looking at her computer screen when her phone rang again. She exhaled loudly when she looked at the screen and saw it was Brett. It had been three days since he spoke to her and she was not about to give him a chance to explain himself again. By that time, she’d heard it all. All the different versions of how and why he’d been sleeping with Sienna. Most of his reasons had been stupid. Cliché even.
It was just the one time but Sienna had contradicted that information and told her that it had happened a number of times.
He had said that it was a mistake but if it was a mistake, why did he keep on doing it. Over and over again for months? And what reason did he have? Sienna’s husband was away but she was right there. She had almost always been around. The longest he had ever been alone was that month she had been on safari and she had begged him to take his leave then so they could travel together but he wouldn’t. She sighed when she heard a beep in her phone meaning he’d left her another voicemail.
“I wonder what he has to say now,” she thought as she picked her phone to listen to what he had to say.
Mandy, please pick up. I don’t know where you are and I am worried about you.
She rolled her eyes.
“If you were that worried about me, maybe you should have kept your dick in your pants,” she thought.
I know what I did was stupid but we need to sort this out. We need to at least sit down and talk…figure out how to move forward from this. Figure out how to heal…
She couldn’t bear to listen to what he had to say anymore. She deleted the message and tossed the phone on the bed next to her computer. Her heart was racing as she looked at the Travelocity page and clicked on the first flight. This was it. There was no going back.
*****
When Amanda finally made it out of customs at the Turin airport, she was exhausted. She was sure it had to do with the eight hour layover. She was normally one who enjoyed layovers. Anything to experience a new place even for a little bit. But this time, she would have done with a direct flight taking into account that she had not had much sleep over the last twenty four hours. But she needed to leave as soon as possible and unfortunately for her, the only direct flight was Delta which would have demanded her to stay in New York till one in the afternoon, the following day. British Airways had a flight leaving at six in the morning and that was all she cared about. Leaving Brett behind. Leaving Sienna behind. Leaving…her house behind.
“Mandy!” she heard Emilia’s unmistakable excited voice. She noticed her friend among the crowd and pushed her luggage trolley towards her. “You look terrible,” Emilia said as she hugged Amanda who forced out a laugh.
“Well, fuck you very much,” Amanda said when she pulled away.
“Well you have to understand that this is coming from someone who is used to seeing you all polished up and now even your hair looks a little messed up.” Emilia took the bag she was carrying. “But that doesn’t mean that I am not happy to see you.”
“You should be happy to see me. I’m delightful,” Amanda said matter of factly.
“Oh, you would never let me forget it, now would you?” Emilia said. “Come on. I’m sure you must be tired.”
“Exhausted,” Amanda said as she followed Emilia out.
“But with the time difference, are you going to be able to get some sleep?” Emilia asked when they got to her car. Amanda took a long deep breath.
“Well I haven’t really been sleeping lately. So, if I have any trouble sleeping, I have my good old friend Ambien.”
Emilia smiled and then laughed.
“Get in, missy.”
*****
The Ambien was way more efficient than Amanda thought it to be because it was almost four in the evening when she woke up. There was a note on her nightstand when she finally woke up.
Didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be home a little late but there is some lasagna and pizza in the fridge for when you get hungry, I also left some money and takeout menus on the kitchen counter if you want something different. XOXO.
She put the note down and put on a bathrobe before she made her way to the kitchen. She poured herself a bowl of cereal and then walked to the living room.
“I could work with this,” she thought as she looked around Emilia’s spacious living room. Emilia’s new place was a big step up from the studio apartment she had first been living in when she moved to Italy. This place was simply amazing. Lots and lots of space, not forgetting the natural lighting from the huge floor to ceiling window that overlooked the city below. She was almost sure that this building was one of the ones Emilia’s company had been working on lately.
She could not help but walk around the apartment. The master bedroom was huge, as if the guest room wasn’t big enough. Even back in the States, getting an apartment this big was almost impossible.
When she finally made her way out to the living room, she reached for her phone and sat down. She sent a quick email to Kayla letting her know that she was in Italy before she deleted a number of Brett and Sienna’s voicemails.
After she was done with her cereal, she walked back to the guest room and stripped down before she went to the bathroom. As soon as she had the water turned on, she didn’t know why but she was suddenly crying. She could feel the saltiness of her tears on her lips and that was when she finally broke down. She sunk to the floor as she cried, letting out every pain she had kept locked in for so long. She had always considered herself lucky.
Lucky to have a career that she actually enjoyed.
Lucky to find a man she loved.
Lucky that the man she loved actually made her happy more than she could ever know.
But suddenly, everything she knew was no longer a reality. And to think she had been looking forward to starting a family with Brett. That was the whole idea of buying the house together. But now, everything was gone. Everything was lost. Life as she knew it was over.
*****
“Honey, I’m home,” Emilia yelled loudly when she came back home later.
“In here,” Amanda called out from the kitchen.
“Something smells amazing,” Emilia said as she walked into the kitchen.
“My mother’s good old pot roast,” Amanda said as she wiped her hands on a dishcloth.
“You really shouldn’t have. I was going to make you something when I got home.”
“Well, I woke up at four so I guess I thought I
should just put my time to good use since clearly, I won’t be sleeping for a few more hours,” Amanda said smiling. “I hope you don’t mind, I went through your place till I found the makeshift wine cellar down the hall.”
“Please, mi casa es su casa,” Emilia said.
“Shouldn’t you be speaking Italian by now?” Amanda asked and Emilia shrugged.
“Fine. La mia casa è la tua casa,” she said in a soft voice. “Pour me a glass.”
“You know, maybe we should take advantage of this dining table that you have clearly never used,” Amanda said smiling. “I was thinking we should eat here tonight.”
“You already set the table, I see,” Emilia said with a smile. “Not that I mind. A girl could get used to this.”
Amanda carried her glass and a bottle of wine to the dining table where Emilia was seated. She sat down and Emilia looked at the spread on the table.
“Mandy, this is...too much,” she said as she looked at the food. Apart from the pot roast, there was also a side of mashed potatoes and peas.
“I’ve got nothing but time,” Amanda said smiling.
“This is non-alcoholic,” Emilia said when Amanda poured her a glass.
“I was beginning to wonder why I was not getting a buzz on,” Amanda lied. “That’s solved.”
“I think someone is still tired,” Emilia said and Amanda shrugged.
“Guess I am. I could get you another bottle,” Amanda pointed out and Emilia shook her head.
“No, you’ve done enough already. You need to take a break.”
Amanda smiled at her as she helped herself to some food before she looked at Emilia.
“I’m beginning to think that this is not just a simple visit.”
Amanda shrugged.
“Maybe you’re right.” She dished up and took a bite.
“Are you really going to make me work for it?” Emilia asked as she looked at Amanda, whose curly hair was framing her face. Amanda looked at her and sighed. “I know you still don't want to talk about it, whatever it is but, sweetie, it’s going to eat you alive if you don’t handle it.”
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