by J. A. Howell
I stood to leave the apartment feeling tired and sore. Despite Alannah being right about my undisturbed night of sleep, I still felt exhausted and restless when I woke up. Work blurred by in a fog of equal uneventfulness. Nolan ducked out early to take care of some errands and Aggie was working the evening shift so I felt pretty much on my own, left to mull over my possible untimely demise. I was anxious to find out if Alannah had any clues as to who murdered Brody, and who planned to murder me.
I still didn’t know if I really believed her vision. I wanted to trust her, and I wanted to believe that if there was a threat to my life, she might be able to help me find it. As I made my way toward Morrigan’s Realm, I tightened my scarf around my neck. Winter was well on its way now. Great. Twenty minutes later I pulled open the heavy door, and nearly tripped over my own two feet as I walked into a room full of police officers.
“What the hell is going on?” I blurted out. Several of them spun around, narrowing their eyes at me suspiciously. Then I saw it. The gray eyes that were staring lifelessly at me from the floor. I gasped, falling back against the door as I took in the sight of Alannah’s body. Her neck twisted at an unnatural angle, eyes wide and unseeing, and mouth agape in a frozen scream as she lay in a dark pool of blood.
“Miss, you need to step outside.” One officer grabbed my arm but I pulled away.
“What happened?” I asked, unable to look away from the gray eyes that had started to cloud over.
“The woman tripped on the stairs and fell. Were you family?” He asked, clamping a hand on my arm once more.
“No. Just a friend.” I shook my head. “She couldn’t have just fallen like that. Are you sure someone didn’t do it? Someone could have shoved her!” My voice exploded with emotion, as I tried in vain to pull out of his grasp again. Several of the other officers exchanged looks with each other, still watching my every move. I didn’t care though. It couldn’t be a coincidence. One day she warns me about a murderer and offers to help, the next day she is dead.
I froze at the thought, unable to move. Ice ran through my veins as I remembered what she’d told me. She’d worked with the police in the past. She’d asked a couple of them about Brody. Had one of them done it? My heart thudded hard within my chest as I looked around the room at the glares now watching me with interest.
“I’m sorry. I’m just upset. I think I need to go.” The officer’s grip loosened as I backed away and my hand grasped for the door handle. He followed me as I slipped outside.
“Miss! Can I speak with you for a moment?” He called after me, his footsteps echoing my own.
“I’m sorry, but I have to get to work.” I kept my head down as I quickened my pace. I could hear his steps slow as he dropped back and I chanced looking over my shoulder to see him turn back toward Alannah’s store. Maybe he was the cop she had talked to, or maybe he was just concerned that I was emotionally distraught, but I couldn’t afford to find out. My pulse was racing by the time I stepped from the curb and crossed the street. I continued at a brisk pace, staring forward, my eyes unfocused as I tried to process what had just happened. I heard someone calling my name behind me, but refused to look. Did she tell them my name too? Great. I might as well have glued a bull’s eye to my back. Of course, screaming in front of a room full of officers was probably the equivalent.
“Harley!” The voice yelled again. Panicked, I broke into a sprint, shoving past a teenage couple. They shouted a few obscenities my way but I didn’t look back. “Harley, wait!” The voice called out once more and I turned my head as it finally registered who it belonged to. Just in time to trip over the curb.
“Sonofabitch!” I growled as my knee bashed against the hard asphalt and sent shooting pain running up my thigh. A few seconds later Nolan slowed his pace, breathing heavy as he stared down at me.
“Why the hell did ya start running like that when I called ya?” His eyebrows knitted together as he knelt down beside me. “And ya really ought to watch where yer going.”
“I don’t need a lecture right now, Nolan!” My words came out harsher than I intended them to, but with the pain I was in, I didn’t really care.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a more sympathetic tone. “Come on, I’ll help ya up.” I tried to pull myself to my feet, but it only caused more pain to surge through my leg. Giving in, I grabbed onto his arms as he lifted me to a standing position and steadied me so I could keep my injured leg off the ground. With one arm, he reached down and grabbed the shopping bag he was carrying then hailed a taxi. I didn’t object. Finley’s wasn’t too far, but stepping on my foot at all seemed like a bad idea. Nolan held the door open for me and I climbed in, curling up against the other door as the seat shifted and he climbed in behind me.
“Harley, what’s wrong?” I could feel him lean toward me, but I kept silent, my forehead pressed against the glass as I stared blankly at the passing buildings.
“I’m fine.”
“Ya always say that, but yer not fooling me if ya think I'll believe it.” His hand tentatively touched my back as I curled my shoulders forward. “Please tell me what happened.”
I wanted to tell him, but of all people, I could not tell Nolan what was really going on. He kept his hand on my back, gently stroking his fingers down my spine, waiting for me to say something. As the cab pulled up in front of Finley’s, I finally turned toward him and he grabbed my hand, carefully helping me out of the cab without hurting my leg. He didn’t say anything, but slid an arm around my waist and guided me as I hobbled into the pub. Aggie looked up from the bar and glanced toward Nolan curiously. He only shook his head at her and continued towards the back as I limped next to him. Once we reached the kitchen, Nolan stopped in front of the door to his apartment.
“Put your arms around me,” he commanded. I scrunched my forehead, my eyes narrowing at him suspiciously. Nothing in his eyes, however, showed any ulterior motive, so I did as he said. His strong arms slid underneath my thighs and my back and he gently lifted me off the ground.
“I can just sit at the table down here.” I told him as he pulled the door to the staircase open.
“That wouldn’t be very comfortable, Harley.” He looked down at me as he climbed the steps. I avoided his gaze, as difficult as it was, while he held me. He nudged the door open with his shoulder then stepped into the living room and lowered me onto the couch, taking extra care with my injured leg. “Hmm. It doesn’t look broken, but it’s definitely pretty swollen.” He said after he had managed to push my pant leg above my swelling knee.
I nodded, not really hearing him. All I could think about were Alannah's lifeless eyes staring up at me. Whoever had killed her, it was my fault. I had gone to her and she had died trying to help me.
“Harley?” Nolan repeated my name a couple times, trying to reel me back to the present. I hadn't even realized he'd left the room for ice until he pressed the icepack to my knee. He’d wrapped it in a dishtowel so the sudden cold against my skin didn't startle me. I looked down at the dishtowel covered in an assortment of painted fruit. Another left-over from his mother, no doubt. If I were capable of it, I would have laughed. Instead, I kept my gaze away from his. He watched me, waiting for me to open up, but what could I tell him?
“I saw a woman. She died.”
“Did you know her? Where did this happen?” Nolan's forehead creased and he sat forward on the coffee table, his other hand reaching for mine. I didn't pull away, barely aware of his thumb brushing over the back of my hand in a light soothing motion. I took slow breaths as I thought of those gray eyes staring at me bright with life just the night before.
“We'd just met...but she was a good friend.” My voice escaped in a whisper, barely concealing the sadness that pulled at my heart. His hand squeezed mine, enveloping it in the warmth that only a caring touch could give. I looked up to find his eyes watching me, a shared sadness deep within them.
“I'm sorry.” His voice was soft. He didn't bother questioning me further. Whatever else I
was hiding, it didn't seem to matter right now. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt tears finally escaping from the corners of my eyes, followed by the feathery touch of his finger as he wiped one away. Instinctively, I turned my cheek into his palm, his touch pushing everything else I was feeling away. He kept his hand there, his fingertips brushing my hair behind my ear. “I’m really sorry, Harley.”
Even Nolan’s voice was soothing to me. Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t placate me, he didn’t tell me everything would be okay. Someone was dead because of me. That would never be okay. More tears came now, and I couldn’t hold them back. Nolan didn’t attempt to quiet me or shush me. He kept his hand on my cheek, gently stroking along my cheekbone, his other hand still resting over the icepack on my knee.
“Is there anything I can do for ya? Anything at all?” He asked after my tears had quieted to a sniffle. I nodded as I opened my eyes and carefully lifted myself up, scooting back into the couch a little before motioning for him to join me.
“Can you lay here with me, just for a little bit?” I wasn’t sure what I was thinking as the question left my lips but I knew that at that moment, more than anything, I just didn’t want to feel alone. Nolan’s eyes conveyed some surprise at my question, but he quietly slid onto the sofa next to me, one hand carefully placing my injured leg over his as he turned on his side. Nolan tentatively moved one arm behind me as he watched me. I curled into him, laying my face against the contour of his chest and breathed in the crisp, clean, citrus scent that clung to his shirt as I closed my eyes. As his other hand gently rested on my lower back, cradling me to him, I felt oddly at peace. I didn’t think about Brody or Alannah, I just concentrated on the slow rhythm beating within Nolan’s chest and the warmth of his body holding mine. I didn’t think about the fact someone might want me dead and I had no idea how to stop them. I just let everything fade into the background, closing my eyes as his hand gently stroked up and down my back.
“Yer safe here,” Nolan whispered against my ear, “whatever happened, yer safe here.”
I looked up at him. As much as I wanted to believe that he could keep me safe and as much as I wanted to trust him, I knew better. I wouldn’t be safe anywhere. Not if Alannah’s vision came true. Still, in that moment I did feel safe. I forced those thoughts back, allowing myself to enjoy the brief escape.
“Thank you, Nolan.” I smiled up at him as my vision blurred with leftover tears still caught in my eyes. Nolan smiled back and his hand moved to my cheek once more, cradling it in his palm. I closed my eyes again and turned my face into his warm touch with a sigh, but his sudden, sharp breath drew my attention back to him. I blinked my eyes open to find Nolan raking his teeth over his bottom lip, staring down at me. He tilted my face up to his with a longing gaze as he pressed his lips to mine. My whole body felt warmed and dulled of any unpleasant thoughts or feelings. Even the pain in my knee felt numbed by the feel of Nolan's soft full lips gently pulling at mine.
After a minute he pulled away, pressing his forehead to mine, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’ta —”
“No don’t –” my fingers twisted into the fabric of his t-shirt as I pulled his face back to mine. Nolan’s lips crushed against mine as his mouth moved with more purpose. His stubble scraped against my face as he kissed me, his arms pulling me closer. His tongue brushed against mine, and I found my body reacting to his as an unfamiliar heat spread through me. I ran a hand up his chest and a low groan escaped from deep within his throat as he rolled himself on top of me.
“Mmmph, Harley.” My name on his lips in a ragged whisper sent another wave of heat through my body as his breath moved over my neck. I felt consumed, unable to focus on anything but him as his mouth returned to mine with an increased hunger. My fingers gripped the back of his neck, gently tugging at the curls at his nape. I wasn’t sure if I wanted Nolan, or if I just wanted to feel this content for as long as possible, but I didn’t want to let go. From the feel of his body, neither did he. Nolan’s lips tugged at mine as he pressed his hips down against me and I rolled my head back against the cushions, a moan shivering past my lips. The reaction only made him shudder as another low groan rumbled from him and he thrust himself harder against me.
“NOLAN!” The sudden sound of Aggie’s voice slammed us back into the present, ripping away whatever spell had come over us. Nolan flung himself off of me, nearly stumbling backwards over the coffee table. His face was flushed, lips red and puffy. Even if she wasn’t within view from where I lay on the couch, I could already see Aggie’s expression. Nolan’s eyes stared towards the door with the look of a wild dog, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.
“What is it, Agatha?” He asked through gritted teeth.
“Some big drunk guy downstairs is getting all belligerent after I cut him off. Figured you would want to take care of it before he starts breaking things.” I could hear the smirk in her voice.
“Fine. I’ll be down in a minute.” His eyes bore into her. “Next time try knocking.”
“Next time you’re trying to get it on, try locking the damn door!” She shot back and quickly slammed the door behind her as Nolan flung a cushion in her direction. With Aggie gone, he turned his attention back to me, his eyes a mixture of lust and frustration.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” He raised an eyebrow, no doubt hopeful that we could pick up where we left off. With the haze he’d cast over me now gone, I wasn’t sure if I should, but I still nodded, smiling up at him. He awkwardly adjusted himself, then headed for the door. I did my best to wait for him, but a few minutes after the door shut, I could feel my eyelids drooping, exhausted from work, from Alannah’s death, and from everything that seemed to be happening since I had moved to Midtown. I just wanted to sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY
What’s in a name?
I was relieved to find Nolan was still asleep when I awoke the next morning. I quietly pulled off the blanket that he must have laid over me while I was asleep, careful not to make noise as I sat up. I braced myself and placed my foot on the floor before slowly pulled myself to a standing position. My knee was still swollen and stiff, but I could manage walking back home. I needed to get back to Remy, he had been alone all night. With regard to the slumbering Irishman in the other room, I wasn’t so sure I could face him after what had happened last night.
I slid my jacket on and slung my bag over my shoulder before tip-toeing towards the stairway. Nolan's sleeping form was visible through the gap of his open bedroom door, sprawled out on his back as his chest rose and fell in a slow tempo. As I watched him, an urge tugged at me, telling me to go to him. To slip under the covers, curl up against him, and let the feelings of want wash away any other worries once again. If only it were that easy.
Slowly, I backed away from his door and reminded myself that I needed to go. I had to find out what I could about Brody's killer. I couldn’t stay here, hiding from the grim and overwhelming task at hand. As of right now, I had no idea where to even start. With everything else going on, I didn't have time to think about what transpired between me and Nolan last night. It’s time to go, Harley. Without any more hesitation, I took my leave, hurrying down the steps and slipping out the back of the kitchen downstairs.
The only thing that kept my feet moving up the steps as I reached my apartment building was the fact that Remy was waiting for me. I didn’t want to be anywhere near the place. As soon as my keys jingled in the lock I could hear the familiar “mew” on the other side. I smiled, relieved to hear him sounding like his usual content self. He greeted me eagerly, bouncing side to side playfully as I placed my bag down. He didn't appear to be any worse for wear after being left alone all night, but I made sure to put down food and water first and gave him a nice scratch behind his ears. He purred loudly as he buried his face in a bowl of wet food. After a few minutes of sitting there watching him, I pulled myself away, limping slightly to my bedroom.
I glanced over at the mirror. My face looked disjointed through t
he cracks and breaks, but no green eyes stared back at me as I searched the shattered reflection. Still just me. I sat down on the foot of my bed slipping my feet out of my boots before lying on my back. Now what, Harley? Where do we start? I drew a blank as I stared up at the ceiling. The only thing I knew now, was that the killer might be a cop. Either that or he had contacts with one. Still, that didn’t really narrow my list of suspects. Not by a long shot.
“Dammit Brody, don’t you have anything I can go on?” The frustration in my voice came out to nobody in particular as I lay there. Who knew if he could even hear me? Alannah said he could, but it wasn’t like he could say anything back. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. I tried to think of anything that might help. But as soon as my eyes were closed my mind wandered to Nolan. My thoughts drifted back to the warmth of his body against mine, the feel of his lips as they pulled at mine. Ugh, that is not going to help anything. I tried to shake him from my thoughts, but it had been a long time since someone had kissed me like that. Since someone had held me like that. With Jackson it always felt like it was about him. His pleasure, his strength, his bravado. When Nolan kissed me, it was like he wanted to become a part of me.
“No! Stop it.” I sat up as a shiver ran through me. I had to work with the man today, I could not be thinking like this. Even if I had enjoyed it, even if I wanted desperately to overwrite my last experience with Jackson with a much more pleasurable one, I could not let things go any further. There was too much I needed to focus on right now and a romp in the sack with my boss was not one of them. If only my body would listen to reason. I could still smell that same citrusy scent clinging to my clothes as I breathed in. No, that certainly isn’t helping either.