by J. A. Howell
I smiled up at him finally and his eyes lit up, as he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Well, that's a little better.” His gaze searched mine as he brought his lips down to mine in a tender kiss. The tension and the fear that had been twisting inside me loosened. He gently backed me against the pool table as I shed my jacket and giggled against his lips.
“Getting better, but I still think I can get a bigger smile out of ya,” Nolan winked as he lifted me up and sat me on the edge of the pool table. His kiss deepened and I let my fingers run through his shaggy untamed curls, knocking his hat to the floor. He moaned and I pulled him into me as I found myself slipping back into the haze, calmed, relaxed, and wanting nothing but Nolan once more. I knew this wouldn't fix anything. If Jackson was lurking out there somewhere, then I would run into him eventually, and whoever else might be after me would still be waiting too. But right now, I just wanted this feeling to consume me. I didn't want to think of anything else.
“Mmm, that’s much better. Ya got that nice little glow ta ya that ya had at the club. It’s sexy.” Nolan’s gruff voice made me shiver. I wrapped my legs around his waist beckoning him closer. His hands dropped to my thighs, kneading them with his strong grip as he kissed me with a renewed vigor. I grabbed the collar of his shirt as his tongue brushed against mine. I whimpered as he pressed his hips into me, letting me feel his growing arousal.
“God, I want you, Nolan.”
“Mmm, Harley.” He groaned and his hands pushed my dress up above my waist as his kisses and his movements grew more unrestrained in response to my words.
His fingers curled around the top of my tights as mine tugged at the front of his shirt and sent one button popping off. I pulled off his dress shirt revealing an undershirt that accentuated every muscle in his chest. As he pulled the undershirt over his head my mouth found its way to his neck, gently nipping and kissing as I trailed my lips down his chest, teasingly flicking my tongue over his nipple.
“Oh Christ,” Nolan’s eyes rolled back and he sucked in a breath, evoking a moan from my own lips as I watched. He laid me back against the table and buried his face in the open neck of my dress, a muffled grunt escaping him as his fingers tugged my tights down my thighs.
“Kiss me again,” I whimpered and he obeyed, his lips moving to mine as his hands struggled with my clothing. I kissed him deeply, running my hands over the solid warmth of his shoulders. He pressed himself against me harder and I arched my back as sparks shot through me. I let out a moan, pulling him to me as my nails dug into his shoulders. His body suddenly grew tense and I looked up at him in confusion as his lips pulled away. He stood up, untangling himself from me as his eyes stared down at the floor and avoided my gaze. “Nolan?”
“I'm sorry, Harley. I can't.” He said quietly, devoid of emotion. I looked down at my disheveled state feeling suddenly exposed and slid off the pool table, hastily pulling up my tights.
“What do you mean? What happened?” I stared at him, trying to read his expression, but aside from the look of horror burning in his eyes, everything else was un-telling.
“I just can’t. Not like this” He shook his head and turned away from me.
“What the fuck does that even mean?” My words came out in a biting tone as he looked back over his shoulder toward me.
“I'm drunk. I didn't want ta take advantage of ya like that.”
“Take advantage? I just threw myself at you.” I stared at him wide-eyed and fuming as my cheeks burned.
“I'm sorry, Harley.” His tone was still quiet despite my raised voice. “Just let me take ya home. We can talk later.”
“No, just call me a cab.” I slipped on my jacket and went to the door. Nolan remained in the same spot for a moment, then with a sigh of resignation he grabbed the phone behind the bar and made the call.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Suspecting Nolan
I didn't have a hangover from my night out with Aggie and Nolan, but something was definitely making me feel sick. What the hell had I been thinking?
“He's your boss, Harley. You tried to sleep with your boss. Ugh.” I shook my head at the cracked reflection as I twisted my hair into a ponytail. To make matters worse, I had to see the man in less than fifteen minutes.
As I turned the corner and Finley’s came into view, I prayed he would just stay in his office and spare me the embarrassment. No such luck. When I walked through the front door of the pub, I was immediately met with Nolan’s intense blue gaze. I quickly looked away and busied myself with saying hello to a few regulars before moving past him into the kitchen.
“Harley, can we please talk?” Nolan was inches behind me before I could even hang my bag up.
“I just got in and they need help out front.”
“They can survive without ya fer five minutes.” His voice was pleading as a hand gently touched my waist.
With a sigh, I followed him into his office. I wasn’t in the mood to sort through what had gone on between us last night. He closed the door behind him and leaned back against it, blocking the only escape route from what was likely going to be an uncomfortable conversation. As I awkwardly stood in front of his desk, I could feel his eyes watching me but I refused to look up at him.
“So, what is it?”
“About last night. I'm sorry if I hurt yer feeli –”
“You didn't. I get it.” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at the wall.
“Get what?”
“You were drunk, I was drunk. It was a mistake.”
Nolan sucked in a sharp breath and I looked over at him to see him chewing at his bottom lip. ”That's not what I was goin’ ta say.”
“Nolan, I should get back out there. They –” His hand moved over mine as I grabbed the doorknob.
“Please, Harley. Just give me a minute, will ya?”
I swallowed hard as I let go of the doorknob and turned back to him. His blue eyes burned into me with a deep longing look.
“You've no idea how badly I wanted ya last night.”
“Nolan –”
“Or how bad I still want ya.” His teeth raked over his bottom lip as he stepped closer to me and a shiver ran through my body. God, why does he have to look at me like that? I stumbled backwards, bumping against the desk. Cornered.
“I don't think this is –”
“I was bein’ stupid last night,” he closed the gap between us and I could smell his familiar scent, feel the heat emanating from him again. “Just give me a second chance.”
The air in the room grew heavy as his face drew closer to mine and all I could think about was tasting his lips again. My stomach fluttered and I leaned back from him, steadying myself against his desk with my hand. I can’t do this right now. I shouldn't do this right now.
“Nolan, I –” His lips crushed against mine as he caught me in his arms. Oh god. I let out a gasp against his lips and his tongue brushed against mine in an uninhibited manner that left little question of what he wanted. He pressed his hips against mine as he let out a low groan and my body shuddered in response. You can't do this. This is only going to make things worse. My mind and body were at odds as Nolan pulled my hips closer to his, letting his mouth trail down to my collarbone.
“I-I th-think they need me in the fron —”
“Not as much as I need ya right here,” Nolan's hot breath brushed my neck and any resolve to thwart his efforts dissolved as his lips found mine once more. I kissed him back and my fingers twisted into his curly hair, gently tugging as he groaned. All rational thought melted away as Nolan's body folded over mine. His lips wandered down my throat and his stubble set my skin tingling as I wrapped my arms around him. What am I doing? I can't do this.
“W-we should stop.” My voice came out in an unconvincing tremble and his eyes drifted up to mine for a moment as his mouth stilled.
“Do ya want me ta stop?” My head lulled back in pleasure as his teeth grated over the top of my breast and I could only
whimper in reply. His lips pulled into a devious grin against my skin as his finger traced the black lace of my bra. “Mmmph, my friend from the laundromat.”
“Nolan!” My giggle was cut short with a moan as he tugged the fabric aside and his tongue moved over my bared nipple in long, languid strokes. His other hand found its way between my legs and I gasped as I looked down at him. His gaze flickered back to mine with a lustful gleam as his hand rubbed me through my jeans. I bit my lip and threw my head back as pleasure rippled through me.
“I know ya want me too. Ya get that glow ta ya whenever I touch ya. And all I want to do is touch ya.” His breath danced over my hardened nipple and I writhed, arching my body against his mouth. He was right. I wanted more of him. His smell, his touch, his taste left me completely intoxicated. I grabbed at his tawny curls, tugging them as they caught around my fingertips and my lips quivered as I bit back another moan.
“Ah, Christ.” Nolan pulled me off the desk, letting my feet slide to the floor as he kissed me, then turned me around and buried his face against my neck. A gravelly moan sent a shiver through me as his arms snaked around me and I pushed back against him as I felt him straining against his jeans. “Oh god, Harley.”
We both fell forward against the desk and he shuddered behind me as his teeth grated over my shoulder. One hand found its way to my breast as his index finger traced and flicked at my hardened nipple. I whimpered and he turned my face to the side, groaning against my lips as his hand dropped down to the waist of my jeans.
“Christ, I want ya so bad.” He growled as his hand slid into my pants. I turned my face away; my breathing ragged as his fingers drew closer, wanting nothing more than to completely lose myself with him right now.
But then I saw it – a picture frame of Nolan and his dad on the wall. The inscription on the frame read: “Vermilion River - Summer 1989”
A sudden, heavy feeling settled into my chest and Nolan's movements stilled as my body tensed beneath him.
“Harley?”
“I've got to go.” Panic struck me and I pushed away from him. He couldn't have. Could he?
“What's wrong?” His voice was breathless as he reached for me but I shrank away from him and backed towards the door. “What did I do?”
The confusion was clear on his face as he stared at me, lust now replaced with hurt. I pulled my shirt closed and looked away from him as I buttoned it back up.
“I can't do this with you. This is a mistake.” Nolan made it too easy for me to lose control, too easy to forget everything. Maybe there was a reason for that. Maybe it was him.
“Harley, please. Whatever I did, I'm sorry.” His hand reached for mine, but I recoiled from his touch and pulled open the door. ”Harley.”
No, just go, I told myself, and without looking back at him, I grabbed my things and left.
From day one, Nolan Finley had puzzled me. Closed off one day, friendly the next. Secretive about some things, but open about others. Caring and lovable one minute, possible murderer the next. I had no idea which Nolan was the real one. I mentally retraced the last few weeks, every little interaction between us. Even if he didn’t seem like the killing type, there were still things that stuck out, things that put me on high alert as I remembered his words, his actions. Seemingly insignificant comments. He’d told me I had reminded him of someone. Claire? Ashley? Both? And the girl in the coffee shop...Why had she genuinely seemed to hate him? What did she know that I didn’t?
No. What little I did know about Nolan Finley revealed nothing to me. Still, the way he had held me. His reassuring words when I’d needed them most. Yer safe here. They had felt all too convincing. I wanted to believe that was the real Nolan, but after being with Jackson I knew all too well that people could hide their true colors from you, no matter how real it might have felt.
With a sigh, I looked away from the canvas and back out the window. I’d been up all morning painting, trying to get my mind off Nolan, off the feelings he stirred within me. In that office with him, I could have easily lost control. Bad guy or good guy, giving in to that temptation was not something I could do right now. At least I kept telling myself that.
Looking down at my painting once more, it was just blotches of color, nothing that made sense. I had intended to paint another piece of the city, but felt uninspired. I propped it up against the wall to dry, then slid down from the countertop. I had to be at work in an hour. That is, if I still had a job after running out yesterday.
Once I had gone through my usual pre-work ritual, I gave Remy a kiss on the nose then headed out the door, my mind still mulling over all things Nolan. I had even tried reaching out to Brody, hoping he would give me something to exonerate Nolan from the possibilities racing through my mind. But I got nothing. Not one rustling curtain or flickering candle. Of course, when I want you to appear, you don’t, I thought, a bitter smirk crossing my lips.
The moment I left my building and stepped out onto the sidewalk, the familiar, uneasy feeling swept over me. My eyes scanned the street, but once again, it was impossible to tell if someone was actually following me. Pulling my jacket tighter around me, I picked up my pace and crossed the street. Glancing back over my shoulder revealed nothing out of the ordinary, no sinister figures watching me from under a tipped fedora, no creepy man in dark sunglasses lurking at a distance. Nothing.
As I rounded the corner and Finley’s came into view, the uneasiness spread until it formed a lump in my throat. When I walked in, Aggie’s bright green eyes greeted me. I let out the breath I had been holding in, even though I knew she would be interrogating me about yesterday soon enough. I managed a faint nod then slowly trudged toward the back, pushed against the kitchen door, and silently prayed Nolan wouldn’t be there to greet me on the other side. He was.
His disenchanted eyes met mine as he stared at me from his office. The lump in my throat swelled. I looked down as I walked toward him. On top of everything else, I didn’t need to feel guilty. Maybe he didn’t murder Claire or Ashley, but he’d known Claire, and he’d been at the Vermilion River the summer Ashley had been murdered there. I couldn’t afford to drop my guard.
“Good morning, Nolan. I just wanted to make sure I was still working today.” My voice cracked as the question came out. I chanced looking up at him but his stare remained concentrated on the computer screen in front of him, his features blank.
“You are. Aggie needs help out front, so you probably should get out there.” His cold response took me by surprise. I nodded, then slinked away from his office to hang my bag up. As I was tying my apron around my waist, the door to his office shut and latched. I guess we are back to the other Nolan again, I thought with a sigh. But, it’s better that way.
“Harley,” Aggie nodded towards me as I joined her behind the bar.
“It’s dead in here today.” I commented, looking around at the few patrons that were finishing their lunch in the nearly empty pub.
“Yep,” Aggie turned, leaning an elbow on the bar. “So, care to tell me what the hell you did to Nolan?”
“What I did to Nolan?”
“Yes, you. He’s been a miserable prick since you left yesterday. He wasn’t like that before you ran out of here.” Her fingers rapped against the bar as she watched me with a curious smirk.
“I didn’t do anything to him.” I shrugged as I grabbed a glass and filled it with water. Suddenly I felt a bit parched.
“Harley, I saw you two sucking face the other night.” Aggie stood straight, crossing her arms over her chest as an eyebrow lifted up accusingly. “I also saw you two go into the office yesterday. The word “bullshit” might as well be written across your forehead.”
My cheeks burned at her words and I couldn’t help but wonder who else had noticed our little rendezvous. I took a sip, collecting my thoughts before I answered her.
“I can’t deal with anything of that nature right now. There’s just a lot going on with me at the moment. I don’t need to get involved with anyone.”
I took another sip of water before looking back at her. “The last time I was, it wasn’t a very good situation.”
A thoughtful hum passed Aggie’s closed lips as she studied me.
“Is that where those bruises came from?”
“What bruises?” I looked down at my arms, but those bruises had faded shortly after I arrived in Midtown.
“The ones I saw on your back, the day we went to the farmers’ market. I’m guessing you got them from the same person that left the cut that was on your face the first night you came here.”
“Aggie, I don’t think that –” My words seemed to jam together as I tried to speak, tried to come up with some excuse.
“Again, Harley, you’re not fooling me. It looked like someone dug their knees into your back. I’ve fallen down enough stairs as a kid to know the bruises that would leave.” Aggie was standing in front of me then, a hand over mine, her typically playful eyes held a seriousness as they stared at me. “You do realize whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve that.”
“I know it wasn’t my fault, and I know I didn’t deserve it,” I spoke carefully, emotion brimming in my words. “What I don’t know is how I didn’t see it. How do you not realize someone is controlling you until they’re slamming your head against the floor?” I looked up at Aggie then, wide-eyed with my own disbelief. A nervous laugh escaped me. Saying it aloud, it sounded so ridiculous. How had I gone so long, let it get so far before realizing it?
“People make mistakes when they think they’re in love.” Aggie squeezed my hand, then turned toward the bar and poured a cup of coffee and Bailey’s. “Drink that, it will make you feel a little better. As much as I tease you about Nolan, though, he really is a good guy. I just thought you should know that.”
I glanced over at Aggie questioningly as I took a sip of coffee, the warmth instantly spreading through me.
“C’mon, Harley. He couldn’t hurt a fly, much less a girl.” She smirked. I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my lips at the thought of a tiny Aggie beating Nolan into submission on the play ground. Maybe she’s right about him. Nothing about Nolan screamed murderer, and try as I might, there wasn’t any sort of motive I could link to Nolan. But it still didn’t stop the feeling that he was hiding something about Brody.