“Just at times? I don’t agree. He’s always stubborn. But you’re wrong when you say I’m trouble for him. I care a great deal about what happens to Luke.” The moment she spoke, she knew it was true. She did care. Perhaps too much.
“Care enough to love him? ’Cause if you do, missy, you’ll leave him be. All Toma wants is to get a rope ’round Luke. You don’t ever listen to that man. Toma’s poison mean. He’ll use you to get Luke so’s he can have that boy comin’ an’ goin’ at his beck an’ call. They’ve come to blows in the past, missy. One of these days Luke or his daddy ain’t gonna walk away.”
Impulsively, Domini put her hand on his bony arm. “I don’t want to see anyone put a rope around Luke. He’s like these wild horses, meant to be free. All I wanted was answers about my father’s death, Mulekey. I don’t know how to convince you that I have no intention of hurting Luke. I know he’s been treated brutally here.”
“You mean that?”
“Yes, Mulekey, I mean every word. Luke … well, I know there’s goodness in him. He can be kind and gentle. He sees beauty in a harsh land and…” Her voice faded as images of being alone with Luke on the trail came rushing back to her.
“Take a saint, a heap of love, an’ maybe a whole lot of the good Lord’s blessings to heal that boy. Luke’s afraid to want things, or people, too much ’cause that leaves him wide open to a whole new kind of hurtin’. If you’re smart, you’ll stay away from him. Boy’s a heartbreak waitin’ to happen.”
“Mulekey—”
“Luke don’t know what love is, missy. Ain’t a woman born with the patience to teach him.”
Love? Twice Mulekey had mentioned this word. It gave Domini pause. Did she love Luke? The obsession with the past and the answers she wanted had clouded her mind. She knew her feelings had deepened for Luke. But love? She shivered and rubbed her arms.
Domini glanced up the steep climb to where the lonely cabin stood within the sheltering trees. She knew Luke was up there despite the lack of light from the cabin. She closed her eyes, for the warm, sultry breeze seemed to whisper his name with a longing she couldn’t deny. The restlessness that had sent her fleeing from the house focused into a need to see Luke, to be with him. And only him.
“You gonna go up there?”
The decision was made. “Yes, I’m going. And nothing you can say will stop me.”
“Don’t get all lathered up. I’s jus’ wonderin’. Luke wants tamin’ for sure, but you’ll be needin’ a buggy whip for the job.”
“You’re wrong, Mulekey. You said it yourself. Luke needs love. He’s had enough of whips and people trying to change him.”
“You be careful, missy. Luke gets his back to the wall an’ he’s likely to come out snarlin’. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Domini turned to walk away but stopped. Once more impulse ruled her. She leaned closer and kissed his whiskered cheek. “Thank you, Mulekey.”
“What for?” he asked, rubbing the spot where she had kissed him.
“For caring about Luke. For making me understand how much I do, too.”
“Well, I’ll be…” Scratching his left ear, Mulekey squinted in the fading light as he watched her walk across the meadow.
“Here’s me, unpleasant as a snappin’ turtle with a sour stomach, an’ she jus’ ups an’ kisses me. Thanks me, too, for carin’ ’bout that boy. Beats all. You hear that, horse?” He stroked the muzzle of a bay who poked at him through the pole fence.
“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she’ll be good for him. Then again, maybe she’ll be the death of that boy.”
The warm breeze that stirred the tips of the meadow grasses carried the sound of Mulekey’s mutterings but not the exact words. She didn’t know if it was a mistake to go up to Luke’s cabin. She couldn’t forget what had happened the last time … When Luke touched her, when he reached out silently with that need and hunger in his kiss, she lost all sense of right and wrong. She lost time and reason.
Need. Hunger. They entwined to whisper through her. Joined they became powerful, sharpening into something else.
Something Domini was afraid to name.
The courage to continue across the meadow came from knowing that Luke felt it, too. Domini looked up once more. She hesitated. Would she find welcome or rejection? Was Mulekey right? Was it possible that she could be Luke’s salvation? Or condemn him into Toma’s net?
Luke stood at the edge of the cliff’s jut. He watched Domini head for the path with a narrow-eyed look. Lifting the whiskey bottle to his lips, he took no more than a sip of the harsh liquor. It wasn’t the taste he craved. Whiskey wasn’t what he wanted. Liquor only warmed his insides, but it intensified the ache in his loins.
He wanted Domini. Wanted that strong, graceful body beneath his. Open. Welcoming. Passion heating her blood.
He had tasted it. And having tasted passion, her passion, he wanted it as nothing before.
He had stayed away from her. Despite the desire that heated his blood, he had tried. And he had tempted and taunted her by turns. But then, her father had wanted them together.
He should feel guilty for withholding that from her.
Only guilt made a man weak.
He had had guilt beaten into him. All he had learned was that he couldn’t afford that flaw. Never could he forget that he was his mother’s son, and his father’s. From both he had inherited their capacity for cruelty.
Domini couldn’t matter to him beyond slaking his need.
He wouldn’t let her matter.
Cradling the bottle between his thighs, he pulled out his makings from the shirt pocket and built himself a smoke. By the time he had the cigarette lit, Domini was no longer in sight.
If he had any sense he would be waiting for her at the top of the path, ready to order her to turn around and go back to the house.
It was a safe option.
He wasn’t feeling safe. He felt wild, and reckless, and hungry.
Could be, he thought, taking a deep drag of the cigarette, that the broom-tail mare he’d spent most of the afternoon breaking to ride easy under a man had jarred loose what little sense he had left.
Especially when it came to Domini.
She brought to life all the old, bone-deep hungers that he swore he didn’t feel. He’d never wanted more than to collect his small herd of horses, pay off the debt he owed Toma for their care, and end any connection with the Colfax family.
His acute hearing picked up the small rocks that slid beneath Domini’s moccasins. She was coming closer. And every step made him aware that he was lying to himself.
He had come back here and stayed because of Domini.
He had been running, as he had always run from the dark, swirling undercurrents of hate that filled his world from the minute he had fully understood what hate was.
Domini drew him with the clean, bright fire of her passion and the deep-seated goodness within her.
She threatened him in ways he couldn’t name.
She made him hurt with needs so tangled he couldn’t sort them out.
It had taken him years to build a thick, hard shell around his emotions. From the first, Domini had begun destroying that shell.
Seeing her with Matt yesterday had released all the pent-up vengeance he had stored. Vengeance he thought he needed for the years of torment and lies.
Luke heard her call out to him, but he didn’t answer. He crushed the unfinished cigarette beneath his boot heel. Lifting the cover to the rain barrel where he had washed away the dust and grime of labor, he replaced it and set the whiskey bottle on top.
Leaning back against the log cabin wall, he waited for her to come to him.
He could walk away. There was still time.
Usually he could lose himself when working with the horses. There was no past, no future, just him and an animal whose intelligence and strength he respected even as he sought to tame it. He hated calling what he did breaking a horse.
Breaking meant destroying the very spirit a man needed to depend upon. Only to himself did he call it gentling. And no one could fault him—no one, that is, but Matt. His brother ridiculed his methods as too slow, too soft. Luke took silent satisfaction that when he was finished with a horse, no man had to fear being thrown or abandoned by his animal.
Domini had stolen his peace with his work today. She had interfered with his thoughts. She had forced him to think about making decisions.
She made him dream again. She made him want to put the past behind him. If he put the past behind him he might bury the pain.
Domini brought back dreams and with them came hope. He admitted it now that her footsteps faltered as she neared. She had him thinking about what life could be if she was a part of his.
The thoughts should have jolted him. He should have been running as far and as fast as he could. Could she bring him what he desperately wanted?
Did he want to give her a chance?
“Luke? Luke, where are you?”
“Around the side.”
He didn’t have to look to know she was standing there, watching him. The small hitch in her breathing was the only sound she made.
“Did you come up here to badger me with more questions, Domini?”
“No.”
“Then you came to finish what got started yesterday.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Hell, I know you didn’t say it. You haven’t said a damn thing.”
“I missed you. I had … had to leave the house. It makes me feel smothered. And I keep trying to understand how you can be so … alone, Luke.”
“Why not?” He grabbed the whiskey bottle and tilted it to his lips. Wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand, he held out the bottle to her. When she shook her head, he shrugged, then set the bottle back on the barrel cover.
Luke tilted his head back against the cabin wall. His unbuttoned shirt hung free of his pants. Without looking at her, he said, “When I was little, I would search the skies when the wind came up wild. I couldn’t understand why the stars weren’t shaken loose. But I would dream of catching them when they did and having my every wish come true. But I never did find a wind star.”
“Did you stop looking?”
His head angled down and to the side so he could look at her. “In a way. I grew up learning that wishes and dreams are for fools. I don’t need anyone, Domini.”
Taking courage Domini stepped closer to him. “I’m afraid that I do.” She fought the burning tears that sprang to her eyes. How could she make his pain go away? “No one can survive without people to care and love them.”
“I wouldn’t know about that,” Luke answered in a blunt, harsh voice. “I’ve never been able to count on anyone, and no one, sure as apples start green, ever loved me enough to care what happened to me.”
“That’s not true! Mulekey and Ellamay care a great deal what happens to you. Toma, too, although you’ll both deny it.” He was hard and harsh, yet in moments like this, Luke touched her so deeply, ensnared her tightly with need by revealing his vulnerability.
“And me, Luke, I care about you.”
Intrigued by the look on his face, Domini reached out to touch him, only to jerk her hand back. There was a blaze of ripe anger in his eyes, ready to rip into her. But in the seconds that she stood frozen, his look changed to one she had seen the first night she met him. A look equally ripe, equally ready to rip into her hard-won control. The look was desire.
“What the hell does it take?” he muttered. “You want to be scared?”
“I am. I don’t think you know how much courage it took for me to come here to you.”
“Christ! Stay the hell away from me.” This time Luke couldn’t hide his desperation. She wanted too much from him. His hands curled against the wall, fingers pressing hard. Seconds that seemed forever long counted the savage beat of his life’s blood.
“I’ll help you, Domini. I’ll help you keep away from me. If you don’t, I’ll swear I’ll take you right here.”
One look convinced her that he meant it. Domini shivered where she stood. If she turned away from him now, she would never find the courage to come to him again. Despite Toma’s command that she marry one of his sons, Domini didn’t want Matt. Luke was all that mattered. Her stomach lurched threateningly. She couldn’t let fear take control.
“Still here?”
“I was afraid to come and now, Luke, I’m afraid to go.”
He moved so fast she couldn’t evade him if she had wanted to. Domini had learned what she wanted. She submitted without any show of resistance when he grabbed her by the shoulders.
“I’ll put the fear of God into you and keep you the hell away from me.” He gave her a rough little shake. “Stop making me want too much.”
“I don’t fear God, Luke,” she answered softly. “I was taught that’s not what He wants. And I don’t fear you.” But the quaver in her voice belied the words. She did fear him. Feared that even breaking the very code of morals, committing sin by coming to him out of the bonds of marriage, Luke would still turn away from her.
“Then you’re a fool, Domini. A damned fool. You should be running as fast as you can away from me.” His fingers tightened. He searched her face for a sign of fear and found himself drowning in the gift of her trust.
Drugging, sweet, potent, he couldn’t forget his first taste of her. The first woman he had ever wanted to share the intimacy of a kiss with. Tangled in his senses were her scent and her taste. The kind a weak man could drown in wanting them for his own.
But Luke wasn’t a weak man. He wouldn’t let himself be one.
“Luke?”
“Damn you.” But there was no heat in the words. “You seduce a man’s mind long before his body gets involved. You don’t know what you do to me. But you’re gonna know. No more running, Domini. Not for you. Not for me.”
She had despaired of breaching the wall around his emotions. Now she could see the need in his eyes. She understood the need as she found an answering desire build inside her. His look was a mirror of her own. As was the hunger behind it. For the hunger whispered of more than desire, it beckoned with a promise of completion. The power … the very complex layers of need pierced her soul.
She stood gazing at him, and Luke, for reasons of his own, allowed it. How many times had she longed for someone to simply hold her? To know there was one person to offer comfort? Compassion? To have someone answer the need within everyone of knowing another cared deeply, that he would always be there to lean on? For herself there had been too many times when she had been as alone … as with Luke. He claimed she had seduced his mind and his body. There was nothing simple about her feelings for him. Luke had seduced her heart and soul.
And still he fought against it.
With his fingers biting through the cloth of her gown to the skin and bone beneath, he pulled her against him. Anger flared in his eyes. Hard and punishing, his mouth covered hers.
Domini waited for the anger to burn itself out. God help her, she could no more turn aside from his anger than she could turn away from Luke himself.
He jerked his head back and stared at her. “What the hell does it take? I’m no good for you. Forget Toma’s crazy scheme. I sure the hell have.” A storm of emotions shifted in her wide green eyes. “Can’t you see that, Domini? I’m no good.”
All she heard was a plea underlying the words for her to deny it. She did so without effort. “Luke, if there wasn’t any good in you,” she murmured softly, pushing aside his open shirt to place her hands on his bare chest, “would you keep warning me away? If there wasn’t any goodness in you, Luke, would you have stopped yourself from having me that first night?”
“You pulled a knife on me. I didn’t have a choice.”
Domini raised her head. The move brought her lips closer to his. “We both know what stopped you. It was not your knife, Luke. And I came to you tonight because
I need you. Not an easy admission for me to make. But you, if only you’d let yourself believe—”
His mouth closed over hers again, stilling the words, stopping the thoughts. She welcomed him this time, hungry for his kiss. Whiskey and smoke flavored the wet heat of his mouth. She savored the potency as she savored the masculine texture of his lips. If Luke wouldn’t listen to her, wouldn’t say the words himself, she could only show him.
Hunger too long denied was contagious. Reason was stonewalled behind the barrier created by desire. Domini couldn’t think of anything but her need for him.
“Luke,” she whispered the moment he lifted his head, “there’s so much good in you. So much love. I swear to you, if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll make you see it, too.”
Chapter 19
“Honey, that’s one crazy notion to have now.” With the rough pad of his thumb he shaped the generous curve of her bottom lip, watching her reaction with eyes of midnight. The telltale shiver of desire, the hitch in her breathing, and the small sound she made ignited the heat running heavy in his blood.
“Being good, Domini, isn’t what I had in mind,” he murmured with a voice that could have persuaded Satan toward an act of charity. “No, not the kind of good you mean at all. Not when you’ve got a sultry voice that’ll make a good man go bad just to hear you call his name in passion.”
He worked his hand slowly down the length of her back. Once more he felt the telltale quiver that she couldn’t hide from him. He bent to take her mouth again.
“Open for me, Domini. First your mouth that’s got me so hungry I can’t think straight.” He brushed his lips against hers, his eyes narrowing when she turned to follow his lips.
“You feel it, too, don’t you? Like a wild storm that’s gathering strength to sweep everything in its path?”
Whisper My Name Page 19