More important, she realized, was that since Matt had lied about this, he had lied about Luke hiding something about her father’s death. She had to be right. Luke was a man so elemental in his passions that he couldn’t lie to her. With a heartfelt sigh Domini felt the tension that gripped her ease away.
She had to get Amanda to tell her the truth. But would she? The woman had her own web of deceit that she spun with cunning.
What purpose would it serve to lie any more now that she and Luke were lovers? She understood Luke’s fear that Matt would try to hurt her. Would Amanda goad her son into killing her?
It had to be Amanda. If Toma had wanted her dead, Domini had no doubt that it would have been accomplished quickly to keep her from making any claim to the original mine he and her father had discovered.
She fought the urge to run and find Luke to convince—no, to beg—him to leave here right now.
The unanswered questions of why her father had left them and the matter of his death had haunted her for too many years. Domini couldn’t leave without knowing.
And Luke, she reminded herself, with his own honor and pride that was as every bit as fierce as the father and mother he denied, had given his word to Toma to stay. That despite Toma’s treatment of his own flesh and blood. Why wouldn’t the man admit that he loved Luke? Not that it would matter. Luke wouldn’t leave here until he had tamed every horse contracted for delivery to the army.
This last incident with Matt had left her shaken. She wasn’t sure she could avoid him. Not in this house.
It wasn’t just for herself that she feared. Her hand curved over her belly. She had risked everything last night. Risked her love, risked the possibility of carrying Luke’s child…
She had to be safe. Glancing longingly out of the window, Domini thought of the cabin overlooking the ranch. Luke’s cabin. He had said nothing of wanting her to stay there with him. She wished she could tell him of her fear. She yearned to tell him that she understood how hard it was for him to share himself with her.
As she stood there, staring outside, a group of men rode out. She couldn’t see who they were individually, but assumed they were going to relieve those hands who had stood watch last night. In the midst of everything else that was happening, Domini had forgotten the threat of the raiding Indians.
Would that she could forget that she was trapped here as easily.
If only Amanda could be trusted. The feeling grew stronger that she knew what had happened the night her father died. Not only knew, but perhaps contributed to his death.
Amanda had hinted that they were lovers. Toma wouldn’t have stood for that. He was capable of killing.
Domini shrank from a confrontation with Amanda.
So many questions remained unanswered.
Amanda had to hold the key.
How else could she find out the truth and set Luke free?
Chapter 22
“Come in, Dominica. I have been waiting for you.” Amanda was seated on a white brocade settee near the window in her drawing room. She was dressed in pink taffeta and pink on pink embroidered silk. A cameo was pinned to the high collar of her gown. With her icy blond beauty, Domini couldn’t help but draw a comparison between the etched profile of the cameo to the woman who watched her entrance with a cool, calculating gaze. She decided that the shell-like perfection of the cameo had more life than the woman who wore it.
“If you expect an apology for my keeping you waiting, Amanda, there isn’t going to be one.”
“I see.”
Domini, far too restless to sit, strolled the room, trailing her fingertips over the cool, polished surfaces of the delicate furniture. “I’ve come to a decision,” she said after a few moments. Moments when Amanda’s gaze increased her tension.
“Have you? Will I be the first to hear of it?”
“You already know that I spent the night with Luke. There’s no need to pretend otherwise. I love him. If I could convince him to leave here now, I would.”
Amanda’s silence forced Domini to look at her. In spite of her dislike for the woman, she was drawn closer. She remained as still as one of the many porcelain figurines decorating the room.
“No comment?” Domini prodded.
“Would anything I had to say change your mind?”
“Yes. You could tell me why Matt taunted me that Luke knows more about my father’s death.”
“He does.”
Whatever Domini thought she had expected Amanda to answer, she wasn’t ready for the soft admission. Her hands closed over the folds of her calico gown. Bide quietly. Her breaths were shallow. From the past came Sister Benedict’s voice. Patience is the companion of wisdom. Be long-suffering and prudent, and you will obtain mastery over wickedness and accomplish all justice. And Domini needed justice, not only for her father, herself, and her mother, but for Luke.
“You prove to be stronger than I was led to believe. Sister Benedict wrote that you were obedient, Dominica. I believe she lied.”
“Believe whatever you want, Amanda. You will despite anything I tell you. All these years you’ve schemed for your own revenge against Toma regardless of the hate you’ve sown. You never cared about me beyond what use I’d be.”
Domini threw her head back, praying for both the strength and patience she desperately needed to see this through. When she faced Amanda again, the woman had not moved.
“If you had followed my wishes, Dominica, I would have cared a great deal for you. The path you’ve chosen sets us at opposite points. You will have none of the Colfax wealth now.”
“You think I care about money? I want the truth about my father. Was he your lover? Is that why he died? You claim that Toma didn’t kill him, but he knew, didn’t he? You made sure of that. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me.” Resuming her pacing, Domini felt her head clear as she continued, almost as if she were speaking with herself.
“What I don’t understand is why. Toma was your husband. You had two children with him. Unless my father was the latest of a great many men in your life?” She waited expectantly for an answer.
Amanda let her wait. She studied Domini, carefully veiling the hate that swelled inside her when she thought of her carefully made plan gone awry. Her body ached from the rigid posture she maintained, but she refused to allow Domini to see how furious she was.
“Do sit down. We can be civilized about—”
“No, Amanda. I don’t want to be civilized. Not if it means to be like you. Don’t you have any feelings? Can’t you see what you’ve done to your own family? Don’t you care?”
“Stop shouting at me. If I did not care I would leave you this very moment. You were to be docile, sweet, and grateful to me for rescuing you from a life of drudgery. And that’s all you would have in that convent. Toma had to approve Matt’s wife or he refused to let him inherit. You were perfect—”
“But I’m not! I love Luke. And I don’t want revenge. Do you hear me? I don’t want it!” Domini hadn’t realized that she had moved closer to Amanda until she found herself staring down into her chilling blue eyes. She backed up, shaking, the way her voice shook, with the force of emotions seething inside her.
What did it take to rip that perfect concealing mask from Amanda? What could she say or do to get the truth from her?
When she saw a thin smile crease Amanda’s lips, Domini had to force herself back a few more steps. The woman had to know how frustrating and how painful this was for her. Amanda would use it to her advantage. She would continue to withhold the truth until Domini either gave up or gave in. She couldn’t allow Amanda that power over her.
“All right, Amanda, you win.”
“Win? You have changed your mind about Luke?”
“No,” she said, fixing a sharp gaze on her. “I won’t stop loving him. But I will stop asking about my father. It’s your secret.”
The hardest part was turning and forcing herself to walk across t
he room. At every step Domini expected Amanda to call her back. Silence accompanied her to the door. She couldn’t falter now.
Domini pressed her thumb on the gleaming brass latch, cupping the smooth, cool handle of the door with her other fingers. Please, God … please…
“If you walk out of that door, Dominica, you will never know how your father died, or why.”
Rigid with tension, Domini faced the door. “I can’t play your tormenting games any longer. You’ve enjoyed it, Amanda, and I’ll leave you to the Lord to decide your punishment.”
“You were right about James, you know. He was in love with me. He planned to run away with me.”
Pain slipped through Domini’s guard. Why? she longed to scream. Why would he love you? But silence had become her weapon. She waited once again.
Amanda smiled. She chose her words carefully, her eyes pinned to Domini’s back. She didn’t want to miss her reaction.
“Luke knew, of course. He was there the night we planned to leave.”
“If Luke knew, then Toma and Matt did, too.”
“Did they?” Amanda taunted.
Need to be done with this turned Domini around. She gripped the handle behind her back, leaning against the solid door while she fought her desire to shake the rest out of the woman calmly watching her. She refused to raise her voice, or allow the denial that sprang to mind to be spoken.
I don’t know. I can’t remember. Luke’s words. His nightmare.
“If you will not believe me, there is nothing I can do to convince you. Is there, Dominica?”
“I haven’t heard anything from you but a veiled hint that Luke had something to do with my father’s death.”
“Oh, Luke had more than something to do with it. He killed him.”
“No!”
Amanda rose then, but not toward Domini; she faced her own portrait. “You are a foolish, stubborn young woman if you continue to deny the truth. It is what you wanted. You cannot deny it simply because what I said is not what you wanted to hear. Luke,” she repeated in a firm voice, “killed your father and stole any chance for happiness that I had.”
Domini couldn’t think. It wasn’t true. Everything within her denied it. Luke couldn’t have killed her father.
“You’re lying, Amanda.”
“Would you like me to describe—”
“No. God, no.” Domini’s whisper reflected the fear that took hold of her. She didn’t dare allow herself to waver in her belief that Luke was innocent.
I don’t know. I can’t remember.
“You are not dealing very well with this, Dominica. Would you care for sherry?”
Domini’s eyes went from Amanda to the painting. How could she remain so calm when condemning her son as a murderer? Her mind supplied the answer. Amanda had hated Luke long before her father ever joined Toma in his search for gold.
“You’re still lying to me,” Domini said softly. “My father had nothing to do with the hate you hold for your son.”
“He’s not mine.”
“Luke is your son.” Domini knew she had to press her advantage. Amanda’s calm facade had slipped. She saw the way her hand clutched the skirt of her gown. What Domini found herself fighting now was a well of pity for Amanda. But just the thought of Luke helped her to stifle the feeling.
“Why did you hate Luke? Did you see him as a rival for Toma’s affection?” Domini mused, then answered herself. “But you weren’t in love with Toma. And he was poor then. Matt was firstborn, that would always ensure his place. Why hate Luke? For that matter, Amanda, why didn’t you leave Toma if you hated him so much.”
“Look at her!” Amanda demanded, pointing at the painting. “Do you think she had the strength to fight a man like Toma? Do you believe she could deny him?”
“Living in a convent with women taught me how strong those women could be.”
“I was never given that choice. I married Toma. I bore him a son. It would have been enough for any other man.” Her hand fell slowly to her side, but she continued to stare up at the painting. “But not Toma. He had to have another son.”
Compassion swamped Domini. She didn’t want to feel it for Amanda, and she fought down the urge to offer the woman comfort. She never expected it to be so hard. The pain that Domini sensed coming from her reached out. All she could do was imagine Luke, and keep the pain of his feeling unloved and unwanted foremost in her mind.
“Haven’t you punished everyone, including yourself, long enough?”
“It will never be enough for what I suffered at his hands.”
“But you stayed with him, Amanda. Surely his wealth means a great deal to you. You’re surrounded with it. You used it for me.”
“I deserved some compensation for the humiliation he has caused me.”
“Was my father really in love with you? Or did he pity you?” Domini took a deep breath, then slowly released it. She was afraid to move as Amanda lowered her head and turned to her.
“Have you ever truly loved anyone, Amanda?”
With a lost look, the woman gazed around the room. “I knew there was a little risk when I sent for you. But I thought I could prevent Luke from interfering. I never knew what he would do.”
“Then you’ll be happy to see the last of him. And of me.”
“He will never make you happy. He will never love you. He does not know how to love. He is his father’s son. And that has been part of my revenge against Toma. He will never have the love he wanted from Luke.”
Cold encompassed Domini. For the first time she wondered if Amanda was insane. Surely no sane woman could say these things and maintain a state of calm?
“Amanda—”
“Silence, Dominica. You wanted to know, now you must listen. I told you Toma dragged me and my young child from one mining camp to another. Matthew was sick most of the time. Despite my every plea Toma refused to understand that he was not a weakling but a child in need of good food and a warm place.”
She paused, her fingers toying with the cameo pin as if it would supply the words she needed to continue.
Domini bit her lip and waited. She had to let Amanda tell her story in her own way. How else would she find out the truth?
“I begged that man and he would not believe me. He would not admit the possibility that his own stubbornness could cause Matt to die. Toma is never at fault.” Amanda took a deep, shuddering breath, then another. She gazed up at the painting. Very softly she continued.
“I lost a child and was ill. Before I was fully healed he was demanding his rights. I swore that if that child lived I would have nothing to do with it.”
“Oh, my Lord, Amanda! You not only hurt Luke terribly, but you punished yourself, not Toma.”
“Save your pity for someone who cares to have it. Once he was sure that I would carry the child to term, he left me with his friend’s widow to await the birth. He took Matt with him, refused my every plea to leave me my son. My boy was terrified and Toma did not care. The man was and is an animal.
“Can you understand what it was like for me to be forced to take care of myself while his child sapped my strength? When all I wanted to do was die?”
“No, Amanda. I’ve suffered other things, but I can’t begin…” Domini faltered as she became aware of the rage shimmering in Amanda’s eyes.
“But I couldn’t die,” she went on as if Domini had not spoken. “I had to be strong to get Matt away from him. I made a vow each day that I would never care for his child. And I kept it.”
“But Luke is your son, too! You can deny that all you want, but you gave birth to him. How could you punish an innocent child for what Toma did? He needed your love every bit as much as Matt. How could you destroy him like that, Amanda?”
“I did not want him. Toma saw to his needs. He found a woman who had recently lost a child and was willing to nurse him. The small claim he was working provided enough money for those first years so that I remain
ed in one place. And I had Matt back with me. It was all that mattered by then. All I cared about until James came to us.”
Domini was torn between hating her for what she had done and filled with an overwhelming compassion for what Amanda had suffered.
“I know how much this hurts you, but did Luke ever know this?”
“I never told him.”
Domini believed her. She couldn’t say why, she just did. But she also sensed that Luke knew, knew and blamed himself. It was the way a child thought. She had blamed herself when her father never returned. If she had been good all the time, had never asked for more than he could give her … Shaking her head, Domini stopped herself. This was old, beaten territory she couldn’t return to. It wouldn’t change the past. Nothing could. But old hurts and hates could be ended.
Amanda moved to the side table and poured a small stem crystal glass half full of liquor for herself. To Domini’s surprise, she tossed the drink back and refilled the glass, this time sipping it.
“Would you—”
“…finish? Of course.” Amanda shot a chillingly brilliant smile at her. “Your father was unlike any man I had ever met. He was kind, thoughtful and made me laugh. I told him. He insisted that we had to leave.”
“Did he ever mention me or my mother?” The question burned inside Domini, and she held her breath until Amanda answered, half dreading what she would say.
“At first. He never really loved her, you know.”
Denial sprang to Domini’s lips, but she swallowed it. “You could be right. If he had truly loved my mother, he never would have left her. Or he would have sent for her.”
“You are a continual surprise to me, Dominica. I believe we could have been friends.”
“Not with the way you hate Luke. I told you I love him. And in listening to you, I’ve discovered that his love means more to me than the past. Knowing the truth will not bring my father or mother back to me. It won’t undo the years I’ve been alone, and I don’t want to end as you are, Amanda, bitter and alone.”
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