“You ever ask?”
“Of course, idiot.”
“Well, sometimes you just need to be straight forward.”
“Have you ever known me to not be straight forward?”
“No.” He shrugged as he nodded at the bartender to bring us another round of beers. Dillon wasn’t working tonight, Slade had insisted we come tonight, no other night of the week when Dillon usually worked. The whole game surrounding them was off.
“So you and Dillon . . .?” I glanced at him. His body tensed as he shuffled the cue between his hands.
“What?” His eyes remained averted.
“You fuckin’?”
“No.”
“Seriously?” I threw him an exasperated look.
“A few times.” He shrugged.
“Come on fucker, stop being a pussy. It’s obvious from a mile away that something’s going on between you two.”
“Fine, we’ve fucked. What else is there to say?”
“Apparently a lot the way you two were fighting the other night.” I pointed my cue at him.
“You saw, huh?” He winced.
“I don’t think anyone in this bar didn’t. You shouldn’t get involved with her, man. You know how she is.”
“How is she?” His dark eyes narrowed as he hit me with a warning glare.
“Fuck, you’re already in over your head. I told you, man, everyone in town’s hit that. Dillon doesn’t do more, if you want to fuck her, fuck her. Get your rocks off, do what you need to do, but you get in trouble when you start expecting more.”
“Fuck you.” Slade growled before leaning down to take a shot. He sunk a stripe, perfectly. Too bad I’d already called stripes.
“Look, you always fucking do this. You think it’s just fucking, but it’s not. It never fucking is, you twat. When are you going to learn that? And with Dillon of all people.”
“Okay, enough about me prick. You’re fucking the new girl in town who won’t tell you a goddamn thing about herself, you’re in over your fucking head and you’re the only one that can’t see it. Pot meet fucking kettle.” He pinned me with a glare.
I stood still for a minute letting his words process before a laugh escaped my throat.
“You fucker.” I shook my head and leaned over to sink two balls before missing the third. I straightened just as Murphy stepped up, a smile on his face and a faded black eye staring back at me. ”What the fuck happened to you?”
“You didn’t hear?” Slade nodded at the waitress as she set our beers down and indicated for her to bring another for Murphy.
“Obviously not.”
Murphy shook his head between the two of us. “Guy came into the store, some fancy city asshole, wants to buy all this shit and then passes me a credit card. When I told him we don’t take ‘em, he goes off, yelling, and throwing shit around. Popped me one right in the eye. Had to call the police. He bolted before they got to the store, though.”
“Fucking tourists stayin’ later and later every year,” Slade shook his head.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered.
“It’s fine. I’ve taken worse. I was in the Corps.” He smacked the United States Marine Corps tattoo that I knew was on his forearm.
I twisted the cue between my fingers. “When did that happen?”
“Over a week ago.” Slade answered. “You really are out of the fucking loop with this girl, man. Handed your balls right over didn’t ya?”
“Fuck off. Pot meet kettle.”
He only laughed and guzzled more of his beer.
We walked down the snowy main street. The sidewalk was covered in a fine dusting of white powder, Christmas lights were strung along the lamp poles and twinkling from the little shop windows. It was mid afternoon on a Saturday and the town was bustling. People filtered in and out of stores, trying to get Christmas shopping done before everything was picked over.
Lane’s hand was locked in mine, the rough timbre of his voice as he spoke about something his best friend, Slade, had done that was nagging at him. Apparently Lane had caught sight of a heated conversation between Slade and someone at the bar, and Slade had been evasive when Lane had questioned him. I hadn’t spent much time with Slade, though he seemed perfectly nice, but not someone that warmed up to people quickly.
I was only half paying attention when my eyes landed on a car parallel-parked on the street. My gaze took in the red and white license plate.
Ohio in blue letters.
My blood pulsed through my system as my mind flashed back to the pictures of that night.
A mangled car caught in a grove of trees, halfway down a ravine.
Skid marks on a wet road.
Twisted metal and shattered glass.
Yellow tape and a stretcher.
Tears pricked at my eyelids and an aching lump formed in my throat.
I tightened my hand in Lane’s as I forced the fear back, willing myself to avoid the panic attack at the memory of her death.
It ate away at me. I thought about her every day, the pain never easing, even though it had been two years.
“Okay, Sugar?” Lane stopped and tilted his head down to me.
“Yeah.” I shook my head, chasing the memory from my mind.
“Okay.”
I concentrated on the soft timbre of his voice as he murmured in my ear how beautiful I looked. I tucked my nose into his throat and inhaled his spicy scent.
I still warred with myself over this new, non-relationship we had, and holding hands as we walked down the street wasn’t helping anything, but Lane insisted. He was so fucking caveman, it drove me insane with equal parts irritation and desire.
I smiled up at him, reassuring him that I was fine, before we turned and continued down the sidewalk. He traced small circles on my wrist with the pad of his thumb as we walked and took in some of the seasonal displays.
“Fuck,” I heard him murmur as he stopped, my arm jerking as I turned to find his feet planted firmly on the sidewalk.
“What?” I scrunched my eyebrows together as I took in his clenched jaw. I followed his glare to find a couple, his arm around her, as they peered in a display window. My eyes followed up his lean form to a flash of dark, messy hair. Then the couple turned, the woman grinning, a radiant smile splitting her face before she turned to face us. Her smile fell from her lips as she registered us. She looked familiar. I’d seen her before.
“Lane, who is that?” My mind struggled to put the pieces together. “Lane?” I turned to look up at him, his eyes trained on the couple. I looked back and found them staring, a pained look on the woman’s face.
“It’s her.” The picture flashed in my mind as I realized this was his ex-fiancée.
“Lane.” The man stepped close enough to be heard.
“Ridge.”
Oh my God, this was his brother. With his ex. They were together. The bitterness when Lane had mentioned his brother’s name suddenly all made sense.
“Mia.” The name fell so softly from Lane’s lips, the pain they’d shared evident. I dropped my hand from his and the instinct to run took over. I needed to leave, couldn’t be witness to this. This was it. I’d been pushing him away all along because it was so not smart for us to be together on so many levels— my past, his, the danger it held for us—but I’d finally let him in, just the smallest bit, and here we were, snow falling softly around us, his eyes locked with his ex-fiancée’s.
“We’re just in town visiting Mia’s parents,” his brother said nearly apologetically. The pain swirled in Ridge’s steely blue eyes. Whereas Lane’s beautiful blue eyes normally sparkled with mischief, this guy’s looked dark, pained, as if he’d been to hell and back and couldn’t be bothered to hide any of it.
“This is Kat.” Lane slung an arm over my shoulder and tucked me into him. I peered up at him, confusion warring inside me. I was sure he would push me away, sure he would run, this would ruin him. His past standing before us here on this snowy sidewalk.
But he
wasn’t.
His thumb stroked the back of my neck and under my thick hair, lovingly. His stance seemed to ease and the lightness in his eyes returned. I swallowed and placed my hand on his torso, showing him I was here. For him. With him.
“Nice to meet you, Kat. I’m Ridge.” He held a hand out.
“This is my brother.” Lane smiled down at me, his full lips curling deliciously and causing my heart to stutter.
“Nice to meet you.” I swallowed the painful lump in my throat as I shook Ridge’s hand.
“And this is Mia.”
“Hi,” I murmured and held her eyes. Pain radiated off her. She took me in, not in a jealous way, but like her heart had been shattered, like it was just as painful for her to see Lane as it was for him to see his brother, the man that had taken everything from him.
“Hope you enjoy your stay.” Lane nodded, ready to end the conversation.
“Lane—”
“Good to see you.” Lane offered out his hand. His brother, with the same arctic blue eyes and chocolate brown hair, looked down at it before looking up to Lane’s face. His eyes softened, the tension that had moments ago seemed to radiate off him eased, and he took Lane’s hand in his.
“Good to see you, too.” Ridge murmured, holding Lane’s hand in his own for a second longer than a guy normally would, his gaze never faltering. “Really good.” Ridge finally dropped his hand. Lane tucked me tighter into his shoulder and nodded before stepping around the couple in front of us and continuing down the street.
My brain whirred with thoughts of what had just happened. Lane had run into his brother and ex-fiancée, clearly together, and he didn’t seem broken by it. Something unspoken had passed between them. Lane seemed to let them go. Seemed to forgive, something that I wasn’t sure could be possible if I hadn’t have just witnessed it.
I didn’t know if two brothers could ever come back from that, such a profound betrayal, and maybe they didn’t need to, but seeing his brother today had released something inside Lane, and I couldn’t help but think he was better for it.
“Lane?” she murmured later that night as she lay wrapped in my arms, her naked body pressed to mine under the comfort of her heavy down blanket.
“Mmm?” I hummed as I worked figure eights along the skin at her shoulder.
“What happened?”
“With?” I was still relishing in the post-sex haze, unable to comprehend what she was asking.
“With her? Your engagement?”
My body tensed immediately as her soft green eyes peered up at me.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
I worked my jaw back and forth for a moment as I thought about what to say, how to describe the epic failure that had been my engagement. The bullet I’d dodged when it had crumbled at my feet.
“She . . . we wanted different things,” I decided on.
“That sounds like a throwaway answer.”
I looked down at her and laughed. “Not gonna let me off the hook with that, huh?”
“Not if I can help it.” She smiled when she realized I wasn’t angry and tucked herself deeper into my shoulder.
“Okay. She wanted different people. Mainly my brother.”
“She . . . they . . . had an affair?”
“I don’t know about affair, but fucked, yes.”
“That’s why you don’t talk to him . . .?”
“That and a lot of other reasons. That was sort of the last straw.”
“How long ago?”
“I found out about them almost a year ago. She begged me to work on it, but it’s just not something I can do. I can’t handle a cheater. I left the night I found out. She was spending a lot of time in Portland, her mom was sick so she went down to take care of her for days at a time. When her mom got better, she was still going down there a lot. I didn’t think anything of it, I had no reason to.
“My brother and I only spoke a few times a year before that, so I didn’t much keep up with his life, but if I had, I would’ve known he’d just moved there. Things would have clicked into place for me a lot sooner.”
“How long did they . . .?”
“I don’t know, probably a few months at least. Could have been longer. I didn’t care to know; the damage was done.”
“Hmm . . .” Her steady, even breaths whispered across my naked chest. “She’s beautiful.”
“On the outside, maybe. I didn’t know they were still together. I had no idea . . .” I trailed off in thought. “Tell me about your marriage.” I was desperate to change the subject. Seeing Ridge and Mia on the street had shocked me, I hadn’t known if they were together or not, but seeing them solidified something in me. I knew what I had with Kat. Was surer than I’d ever been. What I had with Kat, whether she wanted to believe it or not, was so much stronger than anything I’d ever thought I had with Mia. I saw that now. Mia and I had had a superficial relationship. What she and my brother had done was a soul-shattering betrayal, but in another fucked up way it had brought me right here with Kat, and I couldn’t regret that.
“I don’t . . . I don’t like to talk about it,” she finally replied.
“Okay.” I didn’t care to push her. She could tell me or not tell me about her marriage when the time was right. Her past didn’t impact us, so I didn’t need to know.
We listened to the wind howling through the trees outside for a few minutes before she finally sighed. “We didn’t end well. We didn’t begin well, really. But it was what it was. We don’t talk; I haven’t spoken to him since.”
“How long were you married?”
“Eight years,” she said thoughtfully. From the tone of her voice, I could tell she was drifting to another place: revisiting the memories that made up her marriage. The memories that she’d chosen to keep locked up tight.
“Married young?”
“Yeah. He was older. Career was established. Sometimes I think I was a trophy wife,” she mumbled as she traced a pattern around my nipple.
“Sorry, Sugar.” I ran my hands up into her hair and twisted it around my fingers. I loved my hands buried in her thick mane. It felt like taking ownership, being surrounded by her in scent and touch. It was intoxicating.
“It’s over. In the past. A past I don’t want to revisit or repeat.”
“Right.” I rolled on my side and wrapped her up in my arms, massaging her scalp and inhaling her wild strawberry scent as she drifted to sleep in my arms.
I wasn’t sure what Kat was hiding, but I sensed it was something. I was just thankful she’d softened to me tonight, and that I’d had the sense to follow her when I’d realized she’d left my house. I was cracking her shell, breaking down her rough exterior to the soft center and she was that much more appealing for it. I liked layers, and this girl had more than enough to keep me busy peeling them away for a long time.
“Thanks for dropping me off,” she murmured as she pressed her body to mine. We stood outside my truck at the library. It was cold; we were well into the thick of winter, just before Christmas. Kat had been staying a lot of nights at my house, sleeping in my bed, wrapped in my arms, hogging my pillow just like I’d wanted.
After the explosive tell-all we’d had over a month ago, we’d seemed to find our rhythm. She stayed here or I stayed there, we ate dinner together most nights of the week. I relished waking up in the morning and making breakfast after enjoying her warm body pressed up against mine. I finally had her eating in the mornings, something she’d complained about at first, but finally relented to. I pushed the bacon on her and she asked if I wanted her to get fat. I gave her a wink and said I liked her curvy body, something to hang onto when I was plowing into her. She threw a piece of toast at me for that one.
“I’ll walk you in,” I whispered against her lips as my hands slid down to cup her ass cheeks.
“No PDAs in front of Claire.”
“Ahh, she won’t mind. Maybe she’ll be inspired to treat Bill to something special tonig
ht.”
“Oh my God, you’re awful.” She turned and smacked me on the shoulder. She darted up the stairs with me a step behind her, our hands locked.
“Morning, Kat. Lane.” Claire nodded at us, a twinkle in her eye as her gaze landed on our locked hands.
“Did Lane pick you up this morning? Does the driveway need plowing? I can send Bill out.”
“Oh, no. It’s fine.” Kat ducked her head as a blush crept up her cheeks. It was obvious the old woman was nosing around to find out if we’d stayed together last night. The truth was we had, obviously, but she wanted confirmation. Gossip ran rampant in this small town. It was a good thing I didn’t give two fucks about it.
“You got some flowers.” Claire’s eyebrows arched as she nodded to the large vase of blood-red roses on the counter.
“Oh.” The air escaped Kat’s lungs as the blood drained from her face. She stepped up to the flowers and plucked the card from the petals. She licked her lips once and then set the card on the counter. “They must have been sent to the wrong person,” she finally said, her voice a little higher than normal.
“Who are they from?”
“Don’t know.” She shrugged and moved around the desk. I plucked the card from the desk and scanned it.
Merry Christmas, baby. I’ll miss you this year. J
“Who the fuck is J?”
“Lane.” Her eyes darted over to Claire.
“That boy’s always had a potty mouth, doesn’t bother me.” She waved a hand and then grabbed a stack of books and shuffled off down an aisle.
“Is this your ex?”
“What? No.” She swiped the card from my hands and threw it in the garbage. “I told you, I don’t know who they’re from.”
I fingered a thorny stem as I ran through the possibilities in my head.
“Should send them back, then,” I murmured as I watched her face for any sign of deceit. Anything to tell me there was something she wasn’t telling me, that she did know who’d sent them and who’d be missing her this Christmas. The thought of her spending Christmas wrapped in another guy’s arms made my blood boil.
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