by Linda Warren
When he came back, Paxton was telling the story about the beer and getting Jake off a bottle. “It worked, too.”
“Only Phoenix would think of something like that,” Falcon remarked.
“Son, if you’d just asked me, I could have helped you.”
“I figured it out on my own, Mom, and that’s what I wanted to do.”
He placed the sippy cup in front of Jake. His son took a big swig and then pointed at Leah and said, “Ro-sie.”
Phoenix tensed. He should tell his mom about Rosie, but he didn’t want to do that in front of everyone. He would do it later when they were alone. Her reaction wasn’t going to be good, and he had to be prepared to stand up to his mother.
“No,” he said to Jake. “That’s Aunt Leah.”
“Mom-ma.”
“No,” Phoenix said again. “That’s Aunt Leah.”
“Who’s Rosie?” his mother asked.
“She’s a barrel racer who helped me with Jake at the rodeo this weekend.” That was all he was willing to say at this point.
“Do you know Rosie, Paxton?” His mother focused on Paxton since she knew she wasn’t going to get anything out of Phoenix.
“Uh…uh…yeah. I know her. She’s nice and good with Jake.”
“Do you know her, Eden?” His mother wanted information and she was going to get it any way she could, but he knew he could depend on Paxton and Eden to be discreet.
“Yes, Grandma. She’s a barrel racer and really good.”
“Mom, what’s the big deal?” Falcon asked.
“I’m just afraid Phoenix is getting involved with someone too quickly.”
Phoenix had had enough. He took Jake out of his chair. “Since I’m the baby of the family, I know it’s hard for you to realize that I’m a grown man and I can make my own decisions. Rosie was nice enough to help me and I appreciated it. I couldn’t ride unless someone took care of him, and she offered. That’s all I’m going to say. Now I’m leaving. It’s time for Jake’s nap.”
“Phoenix,” his mom called after him, but he didn’t stop. He had to make a stand and soon, but he felt he had to do that alone so he could explain exactly how he felt.
Paxton followed him to the bunkhouse. “Man, that was close. Mom’s watching you like a hawk.”
“Sorry you got caught in the middle.”
“No problem.”
Phoenix changed Jake’s diaper and was about to put him in his crib when he thought he really needed to see Rosie. Jake could nap there. He started throwing things into the diaper bag.
“Where are you going?”
He glanced at his brother lounging on the sofa. “It’s best if you don’t know.”
“Ah, Phoenix, can’t you see this is wrong and it’s only going to hurt you and Rosie? I’m an expert at the hurt thing, and you’ve got a whole lot of hurt waiting on you. Mom will never accept Rosie. You have to understand that.”
He picked up the diaper bag and Jake. “If anyone asks, you don’t know where I am.”
“That’s my motto. I don’t know a thing.”
He tried not to think on the way to Rosie’s, but Paxton was right. He had to find a way to break the news to his mother without all of them getting hurt. He wasn’t sure there was a way, but he knew no matter what it took, he was going to be with Rosie. He loved her. He wondered how many men had said those words and then eventually had their insides cave in from the pain. He was willing to take the risk.
*
ROSIE HAD PARKED her trailer by the barn and then gone into town to buy groceries. She was unloading the truck when Phoenix drove up. Her heart did a happy dance across her ribs, and she ran to meet him. He caught her and kissed her deeply and she held on for a moment longer.
“I’ve missed you,” she whispered against his lips.
“Me, too.” He rested his forehead against hers, and she breathed in the musky, masculine scent of him.
“Dad-dy. Dad-dy,” Jake called.
“I have to get him out. I think he missed you as much as I did.”
After undoing the car seat, he lifted Jake out onto the ground. He ran to Rosie and wrapped his arms around her knees. “Mom-ma. Mom-ma.”
Rosie’s heart stopped, and she glanced at Phoenix. “Did you tell him to call me that?”
Phoenix shook his head. “He heard John calling Leah that at lunch. I guess he’s decided who’s his mother.”
A seed of doubt pierced her, and she hated that. “But, Phoenix…”
“What? You don’t want to be his mother? I thought we were…”
“We are, but I’m so afraid. I never thought… It just… I don’t know how to handle this.”
“Mom-ma.” Jake held up his arms.
She looked down into that baby face, and all her motherly instincts gathered force. There was no way she could reject this little boy. She loved him. She loved his father. She picked up Jake, accepting this wonderful gift. She just hated that she had doubts whether there was a future for them. But she would keep fighting for what she wanted.
The days that followed were a happy time—all the way. They spent every possible moment together, and it was more than Rosie had ever imagined a relationship between a man and a woman could be. She told Phoenix things about herself she’d never told anyone.
After lunch, when Jake took his nap, was their special time for talking, sharing and loving. They lay in bed and Rosie curled into Phoenix’s side with her head on his chest.
“I need to tell you something.”
He played with her hair. “What?”
“I had so many internal injuries from the beating, the doctor said it would be difficult for me to get pregnant again. Not impossible, but difficult. So I may never have another child. That hurts, and…”
He cupped her face in his hand. “It doesn’t matter to me. I have one child I can barely take care of. If we never have another child, that would be fine with me. I love you, Rosie, and nothing else matters.”
She believed him.
Snuggling closer, she said, “Tell me about the day you and your brother were shot by Ezra McCray.”
“I don’t remember much. Dad let us ride his horse while he worked near the McCray property. We jumped a couple of logs and I told Jude to try to jump the fence, but Jude said we’d get in trouble. I kept on badgering him, and finally we sailed over the fence onto McCray land. The horse was so fast Jude couldn’t turn him, and then I heard a loud boom. I woke up in a hospital with my mom sobbing by my bed. My dad was so white, and I knew something bad had happened.”
He took a deep breath. “If I hadn’t urged Jude to jump the fence, none of the bad things would have happened. The Rebels and McCrays would just be neighbors tolerating each other. Everything is my fault. Dad said it wasn’t, but it was.”
“Oh, Phoenix, you were a little boy. Uncle Ezra shot at children. That’s all on him. Not you. My mom always said he was a little crazy after he lost the love of his life.”
“Didn’t he have a wife and kids?”
“Yeah, but he never got over his first love. Not sure what happened to her, if she died or what. I never asked.”
His arm tightened around her. “I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to tell my mom about us, but there’s always someone around. She’s not going to take it well, and I want to do it privately. She blames the McCrays for everything bad in our lives, especially my dad’s death. It’s going to be hard on her.”
She lifted her head and stared into his dark, warm eyes. “We can wait until you feel she’s ready.”
“But I don’t want to wait on our lives. I want us to be together as a family. I’ll tell her soon.”
She listened with an aching heart, experiencing his pain, but she had to wonder if the Rebel/McCray feud would ever end. Or if it would completely destroy their love.
*
THEY WENT TO a rodeo the next weekend and used the same system as before. As soon as she finished barrel racing, she took Jake and put him down for the ni
ght. Everything was working well, and Rosie was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, they might have a future.
October gave way to November and cooler temperatures. Phoenix was set to tell his mother about them, but she came down with the flu, and he thought he should wait until she felt better. Rosie hated that he was in such turmoil.
They lived in their own private cocoon of happiness, and she didn’t want anything or anyone to intrude. She felt a part of a family for the first time in a long time. It felt good and right.
Jake was almost out of diapers, so they made the trip into Temple to stock up. They stopped for lunch, and once they were back in the truck, Phoenix just sat there.
She glanced at him. “Something wrong?”
He ran his hand over the steering wheel and then looked at her. “Don’t freak out or anything when I say this, but I want to make a commitment to you. A real commitment that shows I’m serious about this relationship.”
She touched his cheek and loved the feel of his roughened skin. “I know you’re serious. I am, too.”
“Then let’s get a marriage license.”
“Phoenix…”
“Hear me out. We can go to the county clerk in Belton, which is less than fifteen minutes away, and apply for one. I looked it up online, and all you need is a form of ID and your Social Security number. We don’t have to get married right now, but we’ll have the license, and we can do it whenever you want. I’ll keep it in the glove compartment, and all you have to say is ‘Let’s do it.’ I won’t pressure you or anything. It’ll just be a commitment between the two of us.”
She was touched that he felt so deeply about it. Then the doubts began to take hold, and she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. “Phoenix, that’s crazy.”
He cupped her face with one hand. “Be crazy with me.”
The look in his eyes obliterated any doubt she had. “We have to wait seventy-two hours for the license to be official,” he said, “and it lasts for thirty days. That gives us time to think and decide about our future.”
“I’m as crazy as you, because I’m thinking about it.”
Twenty minutes later, they were in the clerk’s office with Jake, filling out the application. She felt giddy and silly and happy all at the same time. Once they were back in the truck, Phoenix put the license in the glove compartment.
“It’s up to you. When you’re ready, all you have to do is say the word, because you know I love you.”
They stared at each other and she smiled. “I’m with you all the way, cowboy.”
After that, they didn’t talk about the license. They just enjoyed their time together. But Rosie thought of it often, and she was close to saying yes.
*
THEY’D SPENT THE afternoon at a local carnival, and Jake had the time of his life riding the carousel, the flying elephants, the train and the cars. He wasn’t afraid of anything, and she was sure he got it from his daredevil father.
They ate yucky stuff like cotton candy, and she was never going to get the pink off Jake’s face. It was a fun afternoon. They laughed at Jake and each other and just enjoyed being a family.
A family. That’s what she wanted more than anything in the world. Her own family. And she had that with Phoenix and Jake. But there was that doubt again, just beyond her subconscious, wanting to snatch her joy away.
Jake had fallen asleep on the way home and Rosie had put him down for a nap. It was late, but he was worn out. Dixie was standing guard. Rosie hurried to join Phoenix. A noise grabbed her attention and she glanced back. Her father and her brother, Gunnar, stood at the edge of the trailer.
She shivered. What were they doing here? How had they found her?
At the corral, Phoenix was wrapping the water pipes for the winter. He stood frozen as he noticed the men. But he quickly came toward her.
Her father stepped forward with a frown she knew well. She couldn’t ever remember her father smiling. He nodded toward Phoenix. “I’m only going to tell you this once, girl. Stay away from him or he’ll never make it to Vegas.”
Phoenix made it to her side before she could respond… “I think you’d better stop making threats and leave. You’re not scaring anyone.”
Gunnar got in Phoenix’s face. “If you like breathing, you’d better do what he says.”
“What is it to you, Gunnar? Your father has disowned Rosie, so what’s the big problem?”
Gunnar poked a finger into Phoenix’s chest. “You’re the problem.”
Phoenix grabbed Gunnar’s finger and bent it backward.
Gunnar screamed with pain and Phoenix let go. “Don’t ever threaten me. Now get off this property.”
“Please go,” Rosie begged. “I don’t understand why my life is so important to you now. You refused to let me come home or even go to my mother’s funeral.”
“Don’t talk back to me!” her father yelled. “Heed my warning, girl. You know I don’t make idle threats.” With those words ringing in Rosie’s ears, her father and brother walked away.
Phoenix made to go after them, but she caught his arm. “Please, just let them go.”
Her nerves got the best of her, and she trembled from head to toe. Phoenix took her in his arms. “Hey, hey, they can’t hurt you or me.”
She buried her face in his neck, needing to feel his warmth, his strength. “But they can, Phoenix. They can hurt us. They already have.”
He pulled back, his dark eyes concerned. “What do you mean?”
She stepped away, needing to be strong and away from the influence of his warmth. “Their visit reinforces everything we’ve been feeling for the past few weeks. Our families will never allow us to be together, to be happy. The feud will always stand between us.”
“Not if we don’t let it.”
“You’ve been trying to tell your mother you’re seeing me for weeks, but you haven’t, and there’s a reason for that. You know what her reaction is going to be, and you don’t want to face that loving me will take you away from the comfort of your family. And I don’t want to be the one to take you away from them, either.”
“Rosie.” He started to take her in his arms again, and she stepped back.
“No, we have to face this. We love each other, but that love will destroy us. We should never have gotten involved. We should’ve never…” A choked sob stopped her.
He stood there tall and strong, and determined. “You may want me to walk away, Rosie, but I’m not. I’m fighting for what we have and if you don’t, then we never had anything.”
“Your mother will never accept me and you have to face that, Phoenix. Our families hate each other and your family will hate me, too.”
“Paxton doesn’t hate you, and neither does Eden. We can make this work.”
“No, we can’t,” she said in frustration. “You’re refusing to see the whole picture. My father hasn’t spoken to me since the divorce, and the moment he gets wind I’m seeing you, he shows up. What does that tell you? That the feud is more important to him than I am. And he will make sure I will never see you again, and he doesn’t care what he has to do to make that happen.”
“Rosie, we don’t have to live in Horseshoe. We can live anywhere. I can rodeo and so can you. We can make our own living, our own lives away from the influences of our families and the feud.”
“And how long would it be before you hated me for taking you away from the family you love?” She held up her hand as he opened his mouth to speak. “Don’t say you won’t miss your family. You’re a close-knit, happy group, and you will miss them. You will miss your life on Rebel Ranch. It’s Jake’s birthright, and he should be raised there.”
His eyes narrowed on her face. “You’re sounding as if this is the end of us.”
She took a deep breath to gain the strength for what she had to say. “It is.”
“Rosie.”
She wiped away an errant tear. “Please don’t make this any harder than it already is. You brought so much into my life, and n
ow I have to let go because…”
He took her in his arms and held her, and she didn’t have the strength to resist. “It’s not over, Rosie.”
“You’re a Rebel and I’m a McCray. There’s just no way around that, and we both know it.” Dixie barked and that meant Jake was awake. “I’ll get Jake and his things out of the trailer.”
She kissed Jake and put on his boots and parka, trying not to think. To feel. Throwing things into the diaper bag, she bit her lip to keep from crying. She handed Jake and the diaper bag to Phoenix who stood on the step. Before he could stop her, she closed the door and locked it. That might be the coward’s way out, but right now it was her only way out. She heard the sound of Phoenix’s truck, and she curled up on the sofa into a ball. It was over. No more happiness. No more Phoenix. No more sunshine.
It was over.
Chapter Twelve
By the time Phoenix reached Rebel Ranch, he knew what he had to do: he had to tell his mother tonight. It was after seven and her truck was at the house. He needed to ask Paxton to watch Jake for a few minutes. He wasn’t letting Rosie get away. They had a future together and he had to make it happen, with or without their families’ approval. Jake was asleep in the car seat, but he woke up the moment the truck stopped. Phoenix carried him inside, setting him on his feet and removing his coat.
Paxton lay on the sofa in sweatpants and a T-shirt, watching TV. Jericho was in the kitchen, eating a sandwich.
Jake took the remote control out of Paxton’s hand and pointed it toward the TV.
“Phoenix. He’s got the control again.”
“Can’t you get a remote control away from a two-year-old?”
Paxton grabbed Jake and pulled him onto the sofa, tickling him. Jake wiggled and giggled and dropped the control on the floor. “No, no, no,” Jake cried.
Paxton held Jake in the crook of his arm and reached down for the control. “Now listen, kid. We’re watching models. Beautiful models.”
“No!” Jake said. “Bob.”
“Kid, you’re a pain in the…”
“Paxton.”
Paxton turned on the DVD, and SpongeBob appeared. Jake clapped his hands, enthralled.