by Roth, T. A.
So when Vonne told me that she mentioned the situation to her parents and they offered to sit next to us, I was relieved. Her family is great and just as personable as Vonne. They had Elizabeth eating out of their hands. She was surprisingly pleasant, which made the two-hour ceremony more bearable.
I walk over to Vonne and her family, giving Ben a chance to greet Elizabeth and Andrew. Like me, Vonne has two younger sisters, and she also has an older brother. Her sisters, Yvette and Yesenia, made her a huge sign that said Congrats Vonne in pink glitter. Which, of course, she's fawning over as I approach. Her brother, Jason, wraps her in a big bear hug, and I notice him scowl in my direction. I look over my shoulder and smirk as Eli approaches the group. Jason has always been protective of his sisters, so I don't envy Eli. Jason is definitely not going to make it easy for him.
A few minutes later, a pair of strong arms encircles my waist, and Ben's scent engulfs me. He presses into me resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Are you guys about ready to go?" His breath against my ear causes me to shiver.
"Sure. Let me tell Vonne we're heading out. I think Eli could use some rescuing too," I say laughing.
After a quick introduction to Vonne's family and a scowling once-over from Jason, we head out. Eli and Vonne drive separately and follow in the car behind us.
"So how do you feel? Fancy graduate," I tease.
"Good. How did it go in the stands with my mom?"
"She was fine. Vonne's family was sitting next to us, so it wasn't bad."
"So is Vonne's brother always that scary?" he asks with a cringe.
I laugh. At six-foot-four, Jason has always been intimidating; add the brick wall of solid muscle, and the guy is massive.
"He's a big teddy bear. He just doesn't like guys sniffing around his sisters. I guess I should have warned Eli," I say with a laugh.
"Yeah, that would have been nice. You could have warned me too. He didn't seem too happy with me either, and I'm only friends with her."
"Oh, about that. He's always thought of me as one of his sisters." He arches his brow.
"Just a sister?" he questions. I had a small crush on Jason when I was younger, but I'll never admit that to him.
"Yes, just as a sister. Don't start," I say, smacking his arm.
"Hmm."
"Where are we headed, anyway?" I ask changing the subject.
"McCormick and Schmidt. Have you ever been?"
"No, but I've heard of it. Any good?"
"Yeah, they're known for their steak and seafood. It's good."
My stomach rumbles, and I sink into my seat and enjoy the rest of our car ride.
My mom is speaking to the hostess when we arrive. Vonne and Eli trail in all smiles just a few minutes later and it's not long before we are shown to our table. The summer heat hasn't quite settled over Los Angeles, so we choose to eat on the patio. White linens cover the tables and small glass votives are being lit as we sit, adding to the beauty of the setting sun. The hostess hands us our menus and quickly takes our drink order before leaving the table.
We take a moment to study the menu and decide on appetizers and entrees as our waiter returns with our drinks.
"So I'd like to make a toast," Andrew says raising his glass. "Here's to Ben and Vonne. May you enjoy your internships and the next phase of your legal studies."
We raise our glasses and give everyone's glass a clink before taking a drink.
"Thank you and thank you for inviting me to dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Biram. It's very kind of you," Vonne says shyly.
"Of course, it's our pleasure," my mother responds sweetly. Ari glances over at me with wide eyes. I know what she's thinking. Who is she and what did she do with my mother?
"So what type of law are you studying, Vonne?" my mother asks, taking another sip of her drink.
"Immigration. With us living so close to a border, those cases inundate the system. I'd like to help." Vonne is usually so jovial; it's weird to watch her so serious.
"So your parents mentioned you'd be interning with a firm in San Diego. That sounds wonderful." Vonne smiles and looks over at Eli.
"Yes, they're one the largest firms specializing in immigration law, and I was very lucky to get chosen."
"Where will you be attending law school?" Andrew asks.
"I'll be back at USC in the fall like Ben," she says smiling.
The appetizers arrive at the table, and as I reach over to grab a plate, someone grips my shoulder.
"Surprise."
My muscles immediately stiffen, and I pray that Ben doesn't notice. Elizabeth seems pleased to see him, and I try to keep my smile from wavering. He's supposed to be away. He told me on the phone he wouldn't be able to make it. What the hell is he doing here?
"Hey," Ben says confused. He stands to shake his hand. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't going to be able to make it,” he asks relaying my thoughts.
"The band got asked to do a show for some young heiress's birthday party. The girl's father offered a ridiculous amount of money and flew us out on his private jet. We just got in. I came straight from the airport." Ben nods without a word.
Elizabeth and Andrew stand and greet Amos as he pulls up a chair next to Ben.
"Hello, Ari. Nice to see you again," he says as he takes his seat.
"You too," I say tightly.
The waitress brings him a menu and takes his drink order.
"So I know Eli. Nice to see you again, but I don't think I've met you yet," Amos says, looking at Vonne.
"I'm Vonne, Ari's best friend. I also graduated with Ben."
"So are you the one who played matchmaker with these two?" he says smiling.
"No. That was all Ben," she says grinning.
My knee begins to bounce as I nervously wring the napkin on my lap. I'm planning my escape when Ben places a hand on my thigh. My chest constricts, and I have to remember to take a breath. I can't freak out here . . . I can't. I decide to focus on anything but his face. My appetite is currently nonexistent, so distracting myself with the food currently on my plate is not even an option.
They continue chatting and their voices begin to sound like white noise.
"Ari?" I look up and notice all eyes on me.
"Yeah?" I ask, hoping they’re not waiting for me to answer another question.
"Are you okay?" Ben asks. I feel my throat beginning to close up, so I nod.
"You look pale, dear. Are you sure you're okay?" Ben’s mom asks.
I go to reach for my glass of water and end up spilling it. Ben's reflexes are quick, so he's able to scoot his chair back in time for it to miss him. I, on the other hand, am not that lucky. The ice cold water tips over right on my lap. The front of my dress is completely soaked and rivulets of water begin to run down my legs. "Fucking wonderful," I mutter under my breath. I stand abruptly almost knocking a second glass of water on Vonne.
"Excuse me," I say, tossing the soaked napkin on the table.
I walk back inside and find the nearest restroom. The front of my dress is still dripping as I walk over to the sink to wring it out. A large hand dryer hangs from the wall, and I stand underneath it a few minutes using the time to calm my frazzled nerves. It's just a matter of time before Ben sends Vonne to check in on me.
I'm still trying to work the wrinkles out of my damp dress as I abruptly turn the corner. Warm hands wrap around my upper arms to steady me.
"Whoa." My head jerks up, and Amos's eyes are trained on me. I can't move.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I was just on my way to the restroom. You okay?"
His thumbs start to rub slow circles on my skin. It takes a few seconds for me to gain my bearings and pull out of his hold.
"I'm good. I was just heading back," I say with a shaky smile. Not waiting for a response, I move past him quickly and head back to the table.
"Should I go check on her?" Vonne asks.
"We'll give her a few minutes." She nods in agreement.
I don't know what's gotten into her. She had that look again. The glazed eyes and pale face. I've already pressured her into therapy so asking her to see a doctor will just set her off again. She's walking toward the table and the color has luckily come back to her cheeks.
"Sorry about that," she says as she sits. "I can be such a klutz."
I wrap my arm around the back of her chair and lean in.
"You sure you're okay?" I ask.
She turns, kisses my cheek and smiles. "Fine. I promise."
Amos makes his way back to the table. Just in time for our food to be served.
"So how long will you be in town?" my mother asks.
"We're only here until tomorrow. We have a show on Sunday. We're taking a red-eye back, just as soon as the guys are done with their set," Amos replies.
"Any plans to play in the states anytime soon?" Vonne asks.
Ari glares at her, and she just smiles.
"We have about two weeks left on the tour. As soon as we're done in Japan, we head back home to London. They'll have a month off before going back to the studio. We have some studio time set up out here. We usually set up some impromptu gigs so they can work out the kinks on their new stuff. When that happens, I'll make sure to let Ben know," he says winking at Vonne.
"That would be great. Thanks," she says giddily.
"Do you not like their music?" Amos asks, directing his question at Ari. She straightens in her seat, fidgeting with her napkin.
"Please, we borderline stalked them our senior year in high school. We've been fans since their first album. Don't let her innocent face fool you," Vonne answers.
Amos chuckles.
"Thanks for that," she says looking at Vonne. Vonne shrugs giving her a sheepish grin.
"As she so eloquently put it, yes, I am a big fan of their music," she answers.
"Well, then it's settled. As soon as we're back in town, I'll make sure to contact you."
Ari nods in response and drops her eyes to her lap.
"Yeah, that sounds good. We'd love to go. Just give me a call," I say, breaking his appraising glare of my girl. He stares at her a beat longer than I'm comfortable with. His eyes finally pull away, and he brings his attention to me with a nod.
"Sure thing," he finally answers in his phony British accent.
The rest of the dinner is uneventful. Ari withdrew from the rest of the night’s conversation. She offered a quick nod here and a smile there when required. We all decide to call it a night and walk in a group toward the exit.
I can't take much more. I attempt to pay attention to the conversations that surround me, but I'm only able to offer a nod. The exchange both in the hall and at the table has shaken me. It's taken all of my strength not to run. I've felt his eyes on me tonight, and I pray that I'm the only one who’s noticed. Ben is the only thing that separates us, and every time he shifts in his seat, I feel myself doing the same.
I breathe a sigh of relief when everyone stands from the table, signaling our departure.
"C'mon, babe, we're leaving," Ben says offering his hand. I take it and stand from my seat. "Ready?" he asks. I nod following him out.
We say our good-byes to his mom and Andrew. She was personable for once or it could be that I was too out of it to care. I'm pulling out of a good-bye hug with Andrew as Vonne approaches. She and Eli seem happy, and I hope that whatever they've decided to do works out. She pulls me into a hug.
"I hope you’re not too mad at me," she says low enough so only I can hear.
I nod. "We're good."
She breaks our hug, holding me at arm’s length. "I don't think you are, but I hope you'll tell me what's going on with you soon," she says pulling me in again and giving me a tight squeeze.
The smile I've managed to keep plastered across my face never wavers as I reassure her that I'm fine. Eli sidles up to us, and we exchange a quick good-bye.
I notice Amos's hand on Ben's shoulder as I walk toward them. His eyes lock on mine as I approach causing Ben to look over his shoulder in my direction.
"Ready?" I ask.
"Yeah," he says lacing our fingers.
"Ari, it was lovely to see you again," he says proffering a hand. My grip on Ben’s tightens, and I reluctantly offer my free hand not wanting Ben to think I'm being rude. He brings my hand to his mouth lightly kissing my knuckles. His eyes lock on mine.
It all happens in slow motion, and it takes a few seconds for my body to jolt in reaction. I quickly retract my hand from his grasp.
"You too. Ben, are you ready?" I ask tugging him toward the car.
"Have a safe trip," Ben calls over his shoulder as he tries to keep up with my quick strides.
I sink into my seat and wipe the back of my hand on my dress before Ben gets into the driver’s seat.
"What was that about?" he asks.
"What?"
"You practically sprinted to the car, and you've been acting off all night. What's going on?" The cogs start moving into overdrive.
"Nothing. I’m sorry . . . I just feel a migraine coming on and wanted to get home. You know I have a busy day with work and my appointment tomorrow." He looks at me quizzically. Then he leans in to kiss my cheek.
"Okay, let's get you home."
We drive home in companionable silence. I may have faked sleep to keep him from questioning me further.
We get home about an hour later. I go through my nightly routine, and Ben is already in bed when I get there. I crawl in next to him and wait for the string of questions he's been dying to ask me.
He wraps an arm around my waist bringing me closer. My back to his front, I'm nestled snugly in his arms.
"I love you," he whispers across my bare shoulder. I close my eyes, keeping the tears at bay.
"I love you too," I whisper back trying to keep the tremble from my voice.
Morning, as usual, comes too soon. I wake to the sound of the neighbor’s car alarm and my favorite foghorn. I really do need to change that damn ringtone. Ben mumbles a good morning, and I kiss his cheek before getting in the shower.
A fresh "I love you" written into the fog of the bathroom mirror makes me smile as I exit the shower. The smell of coffee wafts down the hall, and I change quickly, desperate to grab a cup. I walk toward the living room and grin when I reach the end of the hall. Ben is sitting on the couch shirtless with a bowl of what I can only suspect is Lucky Charms.
He's sporting a great case of bed head and is wearing his black rimmed glasses watching what sounds like the morning news. My hands are itching to run through his messy black hair, and I have the sudden urge to say "fuck work" and curl up next to him. He catches me ogling him and grins.
"Morning, sunshine."
"Morning," I mutter, walking into the kitchen.
"I already fixed your coffee. It's in your green travel mug," he calls out from the living room.
I take a sip and let out a sigh. He has it down to a science—just the perfect amount of vanilla flavored cream and sugar.
Twenty minutes later, my hair is combed, makeup is on, and I'm ready to go. Ben is still sprawled out on my couch, and he looks so damn hot I want to jump him.
"Okay, I'm gonna go. I'll call you later," I say reaching for the door handle.
He jumps up and meets me at the door.
"That's it?" he asks staring at me. "No good-bye kiss or I love you, babe. Just an I'll call you later?"
I pout like a petulant two-year-old and look up from under my lashes. He chuckles and wraps his hands around my waist bringing me to him.
"What's the matter? I let you get away with the silent treatment last night. I'm not playing this game with you again today."
Everything is wrong. Your fucking pervy uncle is back to torment me, and I don't want to go to work today. I just want to stay in my pajamas, curled up on the couch crying into a glass of wine. But I fucking can't. I want to scream. My internal monologue is starting to grate on my nerves. So I do what I do best; I say nothing.
; "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." He lets out a frustrated sigh and brings his hands to my face. He angles it so I have to look him in the eye.
"I don't want to fight with you. That's the only reason I'm not pushing you. I need you to promise that if you're not going to talk to me then you'll talk to the therapist. I can't continue to stand by and watch you like this and not do anything about it." I nod.
"Do you hear me?"
"Yes," I finally answer. He kisses my lips gently, and a lump in my throat forms.
I turn and walk out the door before he notices my bottom lip begin to tremble.
"I love you," he calls after me.
"You too."
I CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND her and yell out in frustration. I don't know what to do. Something has changed, and she won't talk to me. She's holding back, and I don't understand why. We take two steps forward only to take five back.
Thankfully, my internship starts on Monday because having all this free time to just dwell is driving me completely out of my damn mind. I change into my workout gear, grab a water and my headphones, and head out. I have too much pent-up energy to stay locked inside the apartment today. A long workout usually does the trick.
Two hours later, I'm walking out of the gym a dripping mess. My muscles are screaming at me, but it's kept my mind off her. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
I check my phone for any missed texts or calls and nothing. As I get into my car, my phone rings, and I excitedly answer it thinking that it's her.
"Hello?"
"Hello, sweetheart. You sound happy to hear from me." Well, shit.
"Hi, Mother."
"Well, that was short-lived. There is the tone I'm used to." Here we go.
"I'm sorry. I was just hoping it was Ari."
"That's why I'm calling. Is everything okay with her? She was acting very strange yesterday." I roll my eyes.
Leave it to my mother to take me back to feeling stressed in just a matter of minutes.
"She's fine, Mom. She just wasn't feeling well."
"I noticed. She looked a little pale, too. Now, I don't want you to get angry for asking, but do you think maybe she's using drugs?"