by Roth, T. A.
"I'm sorry," he says kissing me. I shake my head free and pull away from him.
"I’m sorry. I shouldn't have made you come." I'm facing the window again as I swat at the tears currently running down my face.
"Look at me." I feel like a pathetic fool, and I’m embarrassed to face him. He sighs in frustration when I don't do as he's asked.
"Ari. Please look at me," he repeats calmly. I can feel him burning a hole into the back of my head.
My body shifts toward him after a few seconds, and I look up to meet his eyes.
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. That wasn't my intention."
"What was your intention?" I ask wondering where this is coming from.
"It's just- I just- " He rakes a hand over his face, and I’m silent as I wait for an explanation.
"I need this to work. Watching you wake up from these nightmares completely lost and shaken guts me. I can't take them away. Do you know how badly I wish I could just take it all away? So watching you joke about it up there-”
He shakes his head. "It pissed me off, and I felt like you were looking at this as some big joke."
I wipe at my tear stained cheeks and place my hands in my lap before replying. "I sometimes forget that we haven’t been together that long.” He shifts in his seat, giving me his full attention.
"So I’m sorry if you mistook what I did up there as not taking this serious.” He nods.
“This whole situation is heavy, and when things get too serious in my family, we make light of it. It's just how I was raised, and how I've always been. Yes, what I went through is by no means funny. I get that, but if I sit and dwell on the details of what happened, I'll make myself crazy." My words seem to be sinking in, so I continue.
"Was my joking inappropriate? Yeah, maybe. Just know I'm taking these sessions very serious, and I plan to do everything she asks of me. So you thinking that I'm not, hurt."
He cradles my face and the sincerity in his eyes almost makes me break down again.
"I'm sorry, baby. That wasn't my intent, and I hate myself right now for making you cry. Today was supposed to be a good day, and I just fucked it all up."
I lean toward him, wrap my hand around his neck, and kiss him instead. "You didn’t. We just have a lot more getting to know each other to do.”
He nods. “Let's just go home."
THE MORNING SUN BLINDS ME as I attempt to open my eyes. My head is pounding from lack of sleep. I scrub a hand over my face and instinctively search the nightstand for my phone. What time is it? Accidentally knocking it to the ground, I'm forced to crack an eye open to scoop it up off the floor.
Its 10:00 A.M. and Ari's side of the bed is empty. I still for a moment, but the smell of coffee and the soft murmur of her voice let me know she's here. I pad down the hall in search of her, and her laugh stops me in my tracks. It's a welcome sound that I follow out toward the living room. As I reach the end of the hall, I find her leaning over the kitchen bar top. She's wrapped in her cotton robe, raking her hands through her freshly washed hair.
She's facing away from me, her cell phone tucked tightly between her ear and her shoulder as she writes something down. Another laugh escapes her making me smile. I quickly shorten the distance between us and wrap my arm around her waist, startling her.
"Oh, shit," she yelps, dropping her cell phone. I back away as she quickly picks it up from the countertop and puts it back to her ear.
"Hey, sorry. No, I'm okay. It was just Ben. I thought he was asleep, but he scared the crap out of me. Okay . . . okay. We'll see you tonight. Bye." She hits end and places the phone on the counter behind her. She's leaning against it now with her arms crossed giving me a scowl.
"Good morning. I didn't mean to scare you," I say smiling and once again close the gap between us.
"That wasn't very nice," she mumbles into my chest as I kiss a pattern from the back of her ear down her neck.
"You smell good," I say, ignoring her.
"That's because I showered."
"I'm sorry I didn't wake up in time to get in the shower with you." She balls her fists and tries to shove me away as my grip on her waist tightens.
I slowly slide the robe off her shoulder. My lips make their way across her bare skin stopping to kiss her at every pause. Her head lolls back, granting me better access.
"All better? I ask, just as her legs begin to tremble.
"Mmm . . . hmm," she moans. I give her one last kiss and abruptly release her.
"Good. Now, who was on the phone?" I say circling the bar top to fix myself a bowl of cereal. I set the milk and my favorite red box with the smiling leprechaun on the counter.
She tightens the belt on her robe and releases a frustrated sigh. I pour milk into my bowl as she stands there scowling at me with an arched brow. A grin spreads across my face before taking a heaping spoon of sugary goodness into my mouth. Seconds pass before the taste of sour milk hits my taste buds. I quickly lean over the sink to spit it out as she breaks out into a fit of laughter.
"That’s what you get," she says, biting her bottom lip to contain her smile.
She follows me down the hall to the bathroom, a grin still on her beautiful face as I spend the next few minutes scrubbing the nasty taste out of my mouth.
"So now that we're even, are you going to tell me who you were talking to?"
"Oh, that was just a bonus, we're not even close to even," she says turning toward the bedroom.
2 weeks.
14 days.
336 hours.
1,209,600 seconds.
It's comical how daunting those numbers sound to me after waiting more than fifteen years for her. The tour is almost over, but however I look at it, I am done. My patience snapped the minute I had the opportunity to feel her soft skin under my hands again. The raw desire I had tamped down for years came boiling to the surface. She has always been my secret obsession, but it's time to act.
The opportunity presented itself, and I took it. Jalen had been getting sloppy lately, and it was only a matter of time before he got caught. I just helped speed up the process.
The band's set ended early, and at the request of the birthday girl, we were asked to stay and partake in the festivities. Never one to turn down a party, Jalen and the rest of us agreed. We had two hours to kill before having to head back to the airport, so I sat back and nursed my drink as the whole scene played out in front of me.
It didn't take long for the leggy blonde to make her way over to our group. Bruce, our head of security, stopped her before she could reach our inner circle. She was exactly Jalen's type; model thin with a pair of manmade tits that spilled over the top of her gold strapless dress. She waved a bottle of Cristal over Bruce’s shoulder in offering, not that she needed it. Her tits alone and the set of fuck-me eyes she was sporting granted her immediate access.
I pretended to be completely engrossed in the yammering of the petite brunette sitting next to me as I watched Jalen over her shoulder. One glass quickly turned into two, and soon, the crowd chanted as he lapped the remnants of what I believed to be their third bottle out of the blonde’s cleavage. They were both trashed and completely out of control. Bruce intervened when the blonde began to mouth off to the cocktail waitress, who refused to serve them. The argument escalated, and Jalen was caught in the middle. I even saw when the blonde grabbed Jalen’s hand and walked him out of the party.
At the end of the day, I saw it all, and he was the perfect pawn. I needed a reason to miss that flight, a reason for the tour to end, and a reason to be able to stay.
I've achieved every goal I've set forth for myself except one. Making her mine.
I undo the tie of my robe and let it slide down my arms. It falls to my feet, and I notice Ben standing stock-still in the doorway as he takes in my nakedness. He started this little game, and I clearly intend to be the victor. Even if that means I end up wanton and frustrated.
I take my time picking out his favorite panty and bra set. My back is
turned as I slide the scrap of black lace over my hips. With my bra and body lotion in hand, I perch my topless self on the edge of the bed. His eyes are molten.
"Ari." The strain in his voice is evident.
"Yeah?" I'm making a show of rubbing lotion on my bare legs and arms.
"What are you doing?"
I look at him from under my lashes as I begin to rub over my breasts making sure to slowly knead. "What does it look like I'm doing?" I ask coyly.
He clears his throat and adjusts the tent currently pitched in his boxer briefs. "It looks like you're trying to drive me fucking crazy."
"Is it working?"
He stalks toward me, and I stand, placing a hand on his bare chest. "Ah, ah, ah. See, Mr. Rodriguez, you had your chance, but you like to tease me." He grips my hips, and I pretend to relent and lean into him. A smug grin spreads across his face. My hand slides up the back of his neck; I grip a handful of hair and bring his earlobe to my mouth.
"Now, we're even," I whisper, pushing away from his chest and walking into my closet.
"I'm taking a shower," he growls. His boxer briefs are at full mast as he stalks into the bathroom, and my body is screaming to chase after him.
I get ready quickly, knowing the sight of him in a towel will break my resolve. I'm folding a basket of laundry when he makes his way into the living room, fully dressed. Thank the Lord. I don't think my libido could take it if he came in here bare-chested again.
"Feel better?" I ask sweetly.
"Hardly. Let's see, I'm still hungry and horny. So . . . no."
"I can help with one of those." His mouth tilts in a grin.
"Breakfast," I say cheerily. He scowls, and I have to stifle a laugh.
"That was Vonne on the phone earlier. Her party is tonight, and I need to buy her a gift. I'll take you to breakfast then we can stop at the mall to pick out a gift. That reminds me, we should probably pick something up for Eli. Isn't his graduation coming up soon?"
"Yeah, it's next week," he says still scowling.
"All right, grouchy. Let me grab my purse and we'll head out." I give him a sweet kiss and attempt to walk away. He grips my neck and deepens it. We both hum in appreciation and he pulls away leaving me a little breathless.
"If you're going to drag my ass all over town today after that show you put on, I was going to need more than a peck on the lips to tide me over."
"You deserved it after teasing me this morning. Maybe you'll think twice before doing it again." I say grabbing my purse and heading toward the door.
"Yes, ma'am.” He mock salutes me and laughs.
"Let's go. Now, I'm hungry."
We hit Plate 38 for breakfast then the shops at Paseo Colorado in search of gifts for Vonne and Eli. I settle on an Alex & Ani bracelet and Mac gift card for Vonne. Ben decides on a watch for Eli. We stop at a quirky gift shop on our way out, and I'm able to pick up some gift bags and a journal like Dr. Stone suggested. Ben rolls his eyes at my choice.
"What?" I ask innocently.
"Really, Ari?"
"It's like killing two birds with one stone. If I have to write down all my weird thoughts, I should have something fun to look at. It's one of my favorite memes."
The cover of my journal has a cartoon drawing of Ryan Gosling with Hey Girl written on the front. Every few pages has a different saying. I open one that reads, “Hey girl, can we cuddle later?" I start to giggle and turn the open page for him to look at.
"See," I say holding up the ridiculous journal.
"Just pay. I'll wait for you outside," he says grinning.
His smile puts me at ease. I'll admit, yesterday's tiff didn't sit well with me, but I understood where it was coming from. It's probably something I should add to the stack of things to bring up to Dr. Stone.
I step out of the store, and we head home to get ready for Vonne's barbecue. I set the gifts out on the table and begin to coordinate the bags with matching tissue paper.
"I'm gonna go shave while you’re doing this," he says, giving me a quick kiss.
"Okay, I'll be done in a few then I'll get changed. We need to be out of here in thirty," I say checking the time on the stove.
"Okay, I'm just going to shave and change my shirt, and I'll be ready to go."
He walks down the hall, and I get back to wrapping the presents. I'm putting the last bit of sparkly pink tissue paper in Vonne's bag when one of our cell phones rings. I look up and notice it's Ben's.
"Phone,” I call out to him.
"Just let it go to voicemail. I'll call them back."
It rings a few more times before going to voicemail. I stay away from his phone like the plague after that last mix-up. It rings again a few minutes later.
"Can you check who it is?" he calls out.
I slide it toward me, and Amos lights up the screen. Dammit. My skin crawls just reading his name.
"It's your uncle," I say as I walk down the hall to hand it off. The voicemail picks up again. Ben's face is covered in half patches of shaving cream as I step in the doorway and place his phone on the sink. A ding alerting him of a new voicemail sounds as I leave the room.
"Thanks, babe."
"You're welcome," I call over my shoulder.
I'm in my closet when the sound of his phone goes off again.
"Dude, what the fuck do you want?" Ben mutters from the other room.
I hear the sound of water running then a slam of the medicine cabinet before he answers.
"What's up?" he asks irritated.
"Mijo?" I'm in my closet stock-still. He has it on speaker. The sound of that voice still has the same effect. My skin breaks out in chills, and my palms get clammy. I need to hear this conversation without freaking out. Ben will notice, I remind myself. Get it together.
"Yeah. What do you need?" Ben asks.
"I’m sorry to bother you, but I need your help."
"Aren't you supposed to be on a plane?"
"That's what I'm calling about. We never made it. Jalen got charged with a DUI last night."
I gasp then quickly cover my mouth with my hand. My nerves spike and I begin to pace the small length of my closet. Please don't refer him to my office. Please, Ben, hang up . . . hang up.
"You mentioned Ari worked for a law firm. Any chance they could handle this? The band's manager and PR person are on their way back from Japan. It was supposed to be a quick trip." Amos is rambling nervously.
"Babe." Shit!
I shake out my trembling hands and meet him in the doorway.
"Yeah," I say, feigning ignorance. As if I don't already know he's about to ask me to do the impossible.
"She's here. What is it you need exactly?"
"Hi, Ari. Sorry to bother you. I was just telling Ben that Jalen got picked up for DUI. He mentioned you worked for a law firm, so I was wondering if they worked with these types of cases or if you could offer a referral to someone who does."
Ben knows the type of law my office practices, so it's not like I could lie. He's finished shaving and is now leaning against the bathroom counter expectantly. I'm not good at being put on the spot, especially given the situation.
"We're a criminal defense firm. My bosses specialize in DUIs." The words are out of my mouth before I could stop them. I know that giving this monster the opportunity to be closer to me is a bad idea, but my only alternative is to tell Ben the truth. I know neither of us is ready for that.
"Listen, we're on our way out. I'll text you the information," Ben answers.
"Okay. I'm sorry for interrupting your night, but if you can send that over, mijo, I would really appreciate it. Thank you, Ari."
Without another word, I flee into my room and slam the door. I can’t believe I just did that. What the hell was I thinking? The sound of the door opening comes from behind me. Ben’s footsteps get closer, and I tell myself to calm down before opening my mouth.
“What was that about?”
“I just don’t like being put on the spot,” I snap. So much
for keeping calm.
“What was I supposed to do?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe tell him that you needed to talk to me first and you’d call him back.”
“Why are we fighting about this? Your office does this type of work, right?”
“You’re missing the point,” I say walking away frustrated. “And we don’t have the time for me to explain it to you.”
“Hey.” He places a hand on my arm and stops me from opening and closing my dresser drawers like a crazy person. I’m so pissed I can’t even remember what I was looking for. “I’m sorry, okay. You’re right. I should have asked you first,” he says.
I turn to face him, and he pulls me into his chest. “I’m sorry,” he repeats.
“Okay, we’re gonna be late. Let’s just get ready to go.”
We're ready and in the car fifteen minutes later. I hate that he thinks I’ve overreacted, and now that I’ve calmed, I can see why. If the situation were reversed, I might have thought the same thing. The tension in the car is palpable, and it’s up to me to squash it.
“I’m sorry I snapped. I don’t want to fight, will you forgive me?” I ask.
He laces our fingers together.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that and I’m sorry.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles.
The parking on Vonne's narrow street is a nightmare. We pass her house three times before settling on a spot around the corner. Gift bag in hand, we make the three-block trek to her house, which is, of course, covered in hot pink balloons.
We follow the smell of barbecue and the sound of laughter to the side entrance. I only make it a few steps into the yard before I'm tackle hugged by Vonne.
"You guys made it!" she announces happily.
"Of course, we made it, you loon. I told you we were coming. Are you drunk?" Eli walks up and wraps an arm around her shoulders.
"Not yet, but she's on her way. What's up, bro?" he says, giving Ben that half hug slap on the back thing that guys do. "Hi, Ari."
"You guys catch up. I'm taking my friend to get a drink," Vonne slurs out while dragging me to the other side of the yard. I look over my shoulder at Ben, who is laughing at me, and mouth, "Help." He laughs and walks away with Eli.