The Collar of Sacrifice

  “Amelia, it’s okay. I’m happy too.” He kisses the top of my head and I cuddle into his embrace. “Come, let’s not miss the plane.”

  “Let me call Michael and Jason, and we’ll go. There’s still time, right?”

  “Of course. I’ll be in my bedroom, packing.”

  Michael and Jason left for San Francisco a week ago. My mother was ecstatic when I told her they were coming a week before me. My dad is there, too.

  We love Christmas. Family time. And this year, we have two more families with us. Jasmine has a boy and a girl, my boys’ age. Luke has three boys, between seven and fifteen years of age. A house full of children, new people and new friends. It’s a brand new chapter in my life.

  I pick up the handset from Alexander’s desk and dial the number.

  “Mom?”

  “Amelia?” I hear laughter from the other side, “You called at the right moment!”

  “Why, what’s going on?”

  “Michael and Jason wrestled your father to the ground.” She’s laughing hysterically. “Stop it! Jason! Michael!”

  “I wanted to tell them we’re heading to Heathrow now and should arrive there in twelve hours or so.”

  “Sure Amelia, shall I put the boys on?”

  “Yes, please.”

  I’m sitting on Alexander’s desk and playing with a small, sturdy box when suddenly it dawns on me; this is the box Jack left for him! Wedging the phone between my shoulder and head, I use both hands to open it properly and to take out everything inside, the original letter and some old pictures behind it.

  I go through them one by one. Wow. I recognize Alexander immediately. He’s at least nine years old in these photographs and looks just like Max does now. But the grin he has, I’ve never seen that grin on him. A broad smile, yes, but always under the shade of his past. Never letting it go. The boy in here shines, as any child should. Completely carefree.

  I would presume the woman he is holding hands with is his mother. I think I can see the resemblance. She’s so beautiful. There’s a man next to him, too. I get a closer look. Is this his father? He looks so happy, content. That’s not the person I met.

  I go through each photograph and search for him. I love seeing his smile. In some I see another person standing next to him instead of his father. I presume that’s Jack. I don’t really remember him. Shortly I come to the last photograph, the biggest one with many people in it, everyone enjoying themselves. It’s some sort of party. I try to recognize his face amongst the crowd and then I come across an image I know so well.

  “Aunt Lia? Are you there?” Jason has been talking into the handset and I only just heard him.

  “Jason, put nana on the phone. Now!”

  “I thought you wanted to talk to me?”

  “I did. I‘ll be with you guys by tomorrow evening. Now put nana on the phone.”

  “Sheesh aunt Lia, okay.”

  “Yes, Amelia?” she’s still giggling.

  “Mom? You are not going to believe this! Remember what I told you about Alexander? About everything that happened?”

  “What are you talking about, Amelia?”

  “You know, about the will, the letter that was given to Alexander?”

  “Oh yes.”

  “Well, I’m not sure I mentioned but the will came from someone called Jack White.”

  “O-kay…”

  “He used to live in San Francisco. You never heard of anyone with that name?”

  “Jack White? I don’t think so, Amelia, maybe I have. I don’t remember now.”

  “Ask dad.”

  “Why would dad know?”

  “Ask dad!”

  “What’s going on Amelia?”

  “You won’t believe it but that guy, Jack White, gave Alexander some old photographs of him as a kid. And in one of them, I see you, me, and dad!”

  “What? Do you recognize anyone else on the photo?”

  “Wait a minute…let me see. No, nobody. ”

  “Alexander is standing next to you, I’m not sure about his parents. I see only Jack White, holding maybe his wife’s hand?”

  “What going on?” I’m startled by Alexander’s confused face, suddenly standing next to me and staring at the photograph in my hand.

  “Look! That’s me in this photo!”

  “What? Let me see!” Alexander closely inspects the image. “That’s not you!”

  “Yes, it is! This is my mom,” I point with my index finger, “This is my dad and this here, the little baby, is me!”

  “Oh, Amelia, please tell me we’re not related!”

  “Mom, let me take a picture with my cell and I’ll send it to you.” I quickly use my cell to capture the image and I send it to her via my iPhone. “Check your WhatsApp messages.”

  “Okay.”

  “Alexander, do you know anyone on this photo?”

  “Only Jack. But I have no recollection of this taking place ever. You?”

  “I was a baby, how could I remember? But look how cute I was!”

  “You won’t look so cute if we’re related, I’m telling you that!”

  We laugh nervously.

  “I got it!” I hear my mother exclaiming and we wait. We hear um-ing and ah-aing and finally, she speaks.

  “I remember this day! It was a birthday party of a little girl, her dad worked with your father, that’s the reason we were invited!”

  “Oh thank god, mom!” I exclaim, relieved.

  “It would have been funny if you were related, eh?”

  “Ha-ha! Not really! Thank you, mom. See you tomorrow! Love you! Send my love to dad too!”

  “Will do, Lia. Safe travels.”

  I put the phone down and we start laughing. Oh my god! How weird was that! And amazing at the same time!

  ~

  “So, are you ready now?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Her Majesty is waiting for you outside.”

  “She is?” I grin. “Are we taking...?”

  “Yes,” he finishes my sentence. “I have fond memories of it. Quinn has instructions to ship it to San Francisco after we depart. You’ll be with her all the time.”

  “Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me. What about my Cloud Nine?”

  “Your Cloud Nine will be shipped to San Francisco, too, but I assure you, you’ll want something bigger over there.”

  “Maybe you’re right, but you know nothing compares to my Cloud Nine.”

  “Knowing the car-whore that you are, I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a whole range of cars in the years to come.”

  “Don’t be surprised. We will. I’m telling you now.”

  “Mr. Reeves, have a safe trip.” Quinn opens the door for us.

  “Thank you, Quinn. See you in a couple of days.”

  “Of course, Sir.”

  “Don’t miss Christmas, you hear me? This year it will be different. And I want you there. You know I do.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Quinn opens the door of Her Majesty for me and I see Alexander on the other side of the car, smirking, as we both get inside.

  “What do you say we create more memories in here?” I say.

  Alexander’s eyes darken as he ignites the purring of the animal we’re about to ride and accelerates onto the road.

  “What did you have in mind?”

  I lift my heel on the dashboard and with that action my dress lifts up, revealing my thighs and my bare and smooth pubic mound. Only my pleasure button can just about be seen, poking out of it.

  “Many things. But since you’re driving, none that would involve you.”

  The End

  EPILOGUE

  The wedding was important to him, not to me. He wanted to make me his wife.

  When the adoption papers came through, we did it.

  Jason, Michael, and Maximilian were our only guests.

  Were they happy? I’m not sure but for that day only, we decided not to think about it. Their time will com
e. They will grow up, make their own mistakes, and learn from them. Right then and there it was me and Alexander that mattered.

  We have the rest of our lives to spend together and still it feels like that is not enough.

  Later that day, when I sat down with Michael and Jason alone, they said they’d never seen me so happy. Or alive. The aunt they knew back in London is here, with them, but better, and different; they wish they’d met her before.

  “Why weren’t you like this in London? No. Never mind. Don’t answer that question. I hope you stay like this forever!” were their comments as they embraced me. I said I wouldn’t cry but how can one not cry when there is so much love around?

  With our new married life, we wanted to focus on us. On being together. It wasn’t our intention to have children. We never talked about it but it was in the air. Unspoken words.

  Besides, I was on the pill. Apparently the chances of someone getting pregnant while on pill are 0.1%. Well, that is, unless you’ve missed a few days...

  Of course we were worried when we were summoned to the hospital. I remember it like it was yesterday. Alexander was sitting next to me and holding my hand. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t move. He was just looking at the doctor, stunned. Me too. Inside, we were afraid of what the other was thinking. I have Jason and Michael. Alexander had Max.

  When our staring made the doctor uncomfortable, he left us alone in his office. Then, Alexander squeezed my hand. At the time, I didn’t know what it meant. He wasn’t looking at me. He wasn't talking. And I thought...that was it. We were over. I turned my head to fight my case, to tell him it’s fine, that we’ll make it through this but I saw his eyes close.

  “Alexander?” I whispered. “Look at me.”

  He shook his head.

  “I’m afraid.”

  “Of what?”

  “That this might be a dream,” he said.

  “It’s okay. Please, open your eyes,” I begged.

  He opened his eyes and looked at me, and then he gave me the most heartwarming embrace. “Oh, Amelia! Okay? It’s more than that! It’s wonderful, incredible… fantastic!”

  “So, you’re happy?” I asked doubtfully.

  “Happy?” he pulled me out of his embrace and he smiled. “You keep on giving and giving! Happy doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel.”

  That was the day we found out I was pregnant.

  Three months later, when I had my first scan, it was even better. The doctor kept going back and forth over my stomach; I remember the gel was so cold. She kept talking, more like whispering with the other doctors, asking for a second opinion. Quite a lot of medical staff went in and out of our little room which got Alexander completely worried. And naturally, he lost it.

  “For god’s sake, tell us what’s wrong!” he shouted at last.

  I was still lying on the bed, examined under their skillful hands, but I knew. The doctor knew it too, she just needed to be sure.

  Finally, when everyone left she sat down in front of us, and smiled.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Reeves, congratulations, you’re having twins.”

  Alexander expected something sinister. Something bad. He was ready to fight it, to go against it with all his might. The resolve in his eyes was there, but instead, he got yet another shock. He raked his hands through his hair and sat down next to me, on the bed.

  “Wh-what?” his voice disappeared as he placed his hands over my stomach. “Twins?” The look that I got from him I’ll never forget. It was love, fear, and wonder, all mashed together in one. He didn’t know what hit him.

  ~

  Three years later

  ~

  “Hurry! And be quiet! If the girls wake up they’ll wake the whole household! And you know the boys have been struggling to stay awake for hours. If one of them hears us we’re screwed!”

  Kelly and Chloe are two and a half years old now and even though they have started to understand the concept of Christmas, I’m still too ambitious; this will be their third Christmas and they will see the glittery footsteps of Santa Claus again, coming out of our chimney going to the table where the cookies and milk are left for him, and then to the Christmas tree, and back to the chimney again.

  I know Michael and Jason loved that and even though they know there is no Santa Claus now they are still baffled about those glittery footsteps.

  They can never stay awake long enough to see me actually sprinkle glitter over the floor.

  And Alexander loves the magic at Christmas, too. The more ludicrous the things we do, the better. When I gave birth to the girls, it felt like Alexander was reborn into a child himself again.

  That little boy I saw in the photos, with a big carefree smile, was back, and is here with me.

  Max took all these games on board, too. He loves spending time with us as a family. You can almost see how he craves it in a way. He doesn’t hate me anymore. I know. I feel it, even though he doesn’t say a word. We have a silent communication. We love each other.

  I glance at Alexander who is now grinning and sprinkling purple glitter over Max’s door frame.

  “Save some for the stairs!” I scold quietly as I hold a shoe template over the floor and sprinkle glitter over it, creating footsteps on the wooden floor.

  “I got plenty over here,” he points to the small bucket of glitter he has in his hand.

  Looking back at the landing, with the Christmas lights shining brightly, the glitter looks magical. We continue making footsteps on the stairs and down to the Christmas tree and the chimney again.

  “Finished?”

  “Yes, I think so. Wow! This year we used loads of glitter,” he says as he looks back at the lounge.

  “I think so, too. It’s getting out of control.” I smile.

  “Is it? I don’t think we did enough. Until I see our house covered in glitter, I won’t rest!” He wraps his arms around me and gives me a warm kiss on my lips. “Do you think the girls will like their presents?”

  “Yes. Alexander, they’re too little for big presents, anyway! Don’t feel guilty!”

  “What about the boys?”

  “What about them? The boys know we’re buying them the presents. And we got them what they wanted.”

  “I just hope they’re happy.”

  “They are happy, Alexander! We all are!” I kiss him back. “Now, have you gotten me a present?”

  “I don’t know,” he says prepared, “Do you think you’ve been on Santa’s good list this year?”

  “I know I’m on his naughty list,” I say seductively, “Hence, me asking if you got me something. I doubt I’ll get anything from Santa.”

  “If that’s the case, I may have something for you, yes.”

  I grin like a small child.

  “Let’s go to bed, we have three to four hours before everyone is awake.”

  ~

  “Mom! Come outside! Alexander! Santa’s been here! Oh wow!”

  I’m awakened by children screaming, shouting, and laughing; they’ve probably seen the footsteps. I love it; every year it’s the same reaction, no matter how old they are.

  “Mommy, Mommy…quick! Santa here!” The girls are awake, too, and are already in our room.

  I nudge Alexander to wake up but realize he’s already helping Chloe and Kelly into our bed.

  “Come here, my sweethearts! Santa’s here? I don’t believe it! Where? Where is he?”

  He starts tickling them and they giggle and talk at the same time.

  “No! Daddy! He-he! Daddy! Stop it! He’s downstairs! There’s gwitter all over the floor! Daddy!”

  “Oh? Shall we go and check it out?”

  “Yes, daddy! Go! Go!”

  He picks both of them up in his arms and looks at me. “Is Mommy coming?”

  “Mommy! Yes! Yes!” they shout in one tone.

  “Of course I’m coming!”

  As soon as we’re on the landing, I hear the boys’ excited voices. “Mom! Real snow, mom!” “Snow, wohooo!” Max
joins in. “Dad! We have real snow covering the Christmas tree!”

  “What?” I’m confused.

  “Real snow!! Mom! It was Santa!!”

  I look at Alexander, this is all his doing. He smirks, winking at me.

  “Let’s all see what’s going on.”

  We walk downstairs and there, right in front of us, is our Christmas tree covered in so much snow that it can hardly be seen. Everything is white. The decorations and the presents we left last night under it. The floor around the Christmas tree has at least five inches of snow, too. It looks like we’re in the North Pole, not San Francisco, and as you come near it, it feels like it, too.

  The window behind the Christmas tree is open and, oh dear god, a live deer has his head inside and is chomping on a carrot. The whole scene is like it’s from the movies.

  “Snow!” Chloe and Kelly scream out. “Down, daddy, down!” They are eager to play with the snow so Alexander puts them down.

  “Oh my god! What have we got here?” Alexander asks seriously, for the sake of the boys. Max rolls his eyes but he loves it, I can tell.

  The boys have forgotten about their presents and are now screaming and running about, throwing snowballs at each other.

  “Aren’t you going to look for your present?” Alexander asks me, smirking.

  I brush off some of the snow from the sofa and sit on it, folding my legs under my body.

  “No. What’s mine will come to me.” I smile, knowing perfectly well there isn’t anything for me underneath that tree. He’s done it a few times in a row and I won’t fall for that again. Each time my present was too big for the house. And each time, it’s a car. He knows me too well.

  Alexander pulls a blanket from the corner of the sofa and covers me with it before sitting down next to me. He ushers the girls between us, who are also giggling and playing with the snow. They know how to play him, too. The moment they wrap their little arms around his neck he’s theirs to mould and play with.

  “Look at them! Just look at my little princesses!” They wriggle underneath him as he tickles them.