‘I think you have sensed that her beliefs are alien to yours.’
‘Ann Marie … I take it the term “sister” is no longer applicable … Yes indeed, her beliefs are alien to mine, but they are not Jewish beliefs. I am on excellent terms with the Rabbi. He would in all probability express the same view as mine — though I confess I haven’t thought to ask him. Anyway, I take it that though I don’t think Dr Schuber knows what she is doing, you do?’
‘I think I do.’
‘So you are dismissing the Catholic faith as what … bigotted, naïve, too demanding? Which?’
‘On the contrary I do not dismiss any genuine faith. The problem is different. It is that I do not have any.’
‘Have you found something worthwhile in its place?’
‘Yes. The perpetuation of the species.’
‘Well, why not? It is natural and good. But it’s not all. Your father … isn’t he one of the leading zoologists in France?’
‘He was. He is dead.’
‘He was dedicated to the perpetuation of the species, too, was he not? Yet he still failed to perpetuate himself.’
‘Father, you’ve made your point. Unkindly, but you’ve made it.’
‘I am saying that his soul does not die.’
She shrugged. ‘My love of my father was based on an unreal assumption. So unreal, that I became frightened of sex.’
‘But you’ve had time to forgive him.’
‘I have forgiven him. But I understand why he frightened me in the way he did. It is only through understanding that one may forgive.’
‘So having now understood it you are now free from it? — this fear?’
‘Yes. And all that it implies.’
‘So your former attitude to chastity is also to be regarded as null and void?’
‘If you must make an issue of this, then the answer is yes.’
Father Stillwell said with acerbity, ‘With the accent on the void.’
‘If you mean space, then I agree.’
‘If you read Einstein, Ann Marie, you will learn that space is not a void.’
‘I have read that there are voids in space. I have also read that — theoretically at least — we could manufacture them, if we had enough laser power.’
‘Bunk. If you mean black holes they are as yet mere theoretical models. But even if they were proven fact, their properties do not include the more hectic features of the magic carpet.’
‘Father, it is now claimed that a black hole could provide a means for schizophrenics to gain access to an alternative universe.’
‘How convenient that it is exclusive to schizophrenics! They’re so difficult to argue with. If someone claimed that they could travel at the speed of light by using a radio transmitter I don’t think anyone could prove him wrong. It just isn’t very likely.’ He looked at her hard. ‘Apart from the evident appeal of Mr Neil Prentice — which I could hardly have failed to note — what has really made you so hostile to Dr Braknell?’
‘Must I say?’
‘I can’t force you. I would just like to know.’
She blazed, ‘Because though he adopts this sanctimonious attitude toward experimental work he condones everything that goes on in the Genetics Wing.’
‘I doubt if he knows.’
‘Then why does he go out of his way to protect the interests of the occupants of G Block — at the expense of the health of Dr Schuber’s patients? Father, I’m not an idiot. A lot of people around here are scared stiff at the idea of chromosome manipulation.’
Stillwell raised his eyebrows. ‘I see nothing wrong with the concept of improving the intelligence of the human race.’
‘They are trying to produce a super-intelligent species without the slightest regard for possible side-effects.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Because top expert opinion is that you cannot possibly know what the side-effects will be until several generations later.’
‘Ann Marie, I don’t see why you’re so worried, though I can see you genuinely are. Through selective breeding, the horse has vastly improved. So have the cow, the sheep and —’
‘— and the Nazis?’
‘You are too emotional.’
‘I am too frightened. Doesn’t it strike you that G Block are not just employing selective breeding?’
‘Not only G Block. All over the world, Ann Marie, ever since the discovery of the double helix, scientists have been working on the basic replication process.’
‘That doesn’t strike you as dangerous?’
‘It strikes me as distinctly ambitious. Judging from the antics of Mr Prentice, it would appear that they have a long way to travel before we are in danger of breeding people who have even a modicum of common sense. As a matter of interest, do you still believe in God — or is He lost in a black hole by now?’
‘Father, with great respect, what I believe is my own affair. But among my convictions is the very simple one that if Mr Prentice in his quest for truth cannot on his own get back, then someone will have to try and help him.’
‘Then I would recommend Dr Braknell.’
‘We need something more. A motive. And I’ve thought of one.’
‘And what is that?’
‘Mr Prentice is attracted to me.’
‘I see. I’m sorry if I seem a little caustic but if you really do regard Mr Prentice as a sort of sailor who’s going on some sort of voyage, and who will therefore lust after the woman he has left behind, I can’t help thinking it would have worked before, on other schizophrenics taking equally hazardous trips. A lot of them are married, or have mistresses, or lovers — put it how you will — but alas, when you enlist the aid of Aladdin’s lamp the genie obstinately fails to appear. Just to satisfy me on one point: As you seem to have renounced the church and everything it stands for, why are you so set on trying to persuade me that you are right? I hate to seem discourteous but I’m not really all that interested.’
Ann Marie had large eyes. ‘You are frightened of my beliefs.’
‘I am certainly frightened of what people might do with them! We have enough trouble with lunatics like the Scientology brethren without this latest gimmick.’
‘Why should it be any more of a gimmick than Christianity: immaculate conception; Jesus descending into hell; coming back; then going to heaven … the Pentacost; disciples walking on water; and — of all things — the Disneyland dogma of calling wine the blood of Jesus? With that much alcohol in their veins no one could hope to pass the breathalyser test.’
‘That is cheap and unworthy of you.’
‘I feel cheap. You make me feel cheap.’
‘You are a little angry. And, to be honest, so am I. Must I stay to —’
‘— Father, I have listened to you for years, and I have done so willingly and with respect and — up to a short time ago — with faith. Please hear me out. Neither Jane Schuber nor Neil Prentice wish to start a movement like the Holy Roman Empire. They merely want to help schizophrenics find their goal. Neil Prentice feels, to some extent, that this goal is becoming clearer. And the basic thinking behind Dr Schuber’s interest is that if a psychotic succeeds in identifying and achieving that goal, the psychosis will fall away like a mantle and they will become perfectly normal human beings.’
‘So you believe in miracles too. Ann Marie, you’re not a bad person really. Nor are your views and aims as far removed from Christianity as you seem to think. I haven’t got time to talk with you any more just now, but I think personally that you will wish to return to the Order, given time. I shall try to make that possible when the time comes. In the meanwhile don’t drift so far away from Christian behaviour that such a thing isn’t possible. To lay it on the line with you, Ann Marie … if you really do shack up with Neil Prentice I’m afraid that’s the end of my proposition.’
‘You are angry.’
‘I was. Still, the arrogance of youth seldom did anything but good. But, Ann Marie, I beg of you: don’t d
abble in things you don’t understand. Neil Prentice — and whatever you say to me I am certain he is very sick … Neil Prentice has hit on something he thinks of as a kind of prayer machine. Dr Braknell tells me that schizophrenic patients tend to invent that sort of idea to explain profoundly abnormal behaviour. And not in my wildest moments of invention can I see how a so-called “black hole” can perform the process of prayer.’
‘Not even if it somehow became the means of communication between one sort of person and another?’
Stillwell said, ‘They’ve already invented the telephone — and that’s irritant enough for me.’
‘And genetic engineering? — that is not an irritant?’
‘Young woman, you’re going on hearsay pure and simple. “Genetic Engineering” is not a term that has ever been officially used in connection with G Block. It is an emotive word played on by people who don’t think twice about manipulating sick people into crazy actions.’
She held her ground. ‘Then you know for certain that the work being done in G Block is neither against your religious principles nor potentially harmful to the human race?’
He said curtly, ‘I know the university to be in responsible hands. I see no reason to doubt the integrity of the professors concerned merely as an exercise in incredulity.’
‘But you will check what goes on there?’
He shrugged. ‘To what effect? I am quite confident that you will do all in your power to discredit anything that doesn’t tie in with your new beliefs. Kindly leave me to my own.’ He gestured back toward the altar. ‘If you do not wish to pray with me, I think perhaps you ought to leave now.’
‘Very well, Father.’
3
Jane Schuber was so taken aback by the spectacle of Sister Ann Marie in mufti that for a while she shoved the memory of a blazing row she’d just had with Andrews in the pending tray.
Ann Marie, feeling self-conscious but enjoying herself, modelled the dress and mimmicked the routines of a professional dress show. ‘What do you think, Jane? Will I hold my own?’
Jane didn’t want to spoil her moment but something worried her about this metamorphosis. ‘Has Neil seen you … like that?’
‘Not yet. I told him I was leaving the Order.’
‘Are you … quite sure you should?’
‘But yes! Aren’t you?’
‘I feel I’ve been instrumental in your leaving it.’
‘You must not worry. I make up my own mind about things. You know?’ She went to the small surgical mirror on the wall cupboard and admired herself. ‘It was inevitable.’
‘All the same, you mustn’t swallow all his theories whole.’
‘Oh, I don’t. With me he is in any case sceptical.’
‘He certainly doesn’t give me that impression.’
‘He wouldn’t. Neil thinks he will have to work very hard to overcome your orthodox training.’
Jane felt hot under the cheeks. ‘Is there anyone concerned with this situation who isn’t going to patronize me?’
‘Oh, I am so sorry. But I think perhaps you’re being too subjective.’ Ann Marie settled in a chair at last. ‘Also I think you do not realize sufficiently that there can be several explanations for one event — all of them valid at the same time. See?’
Jane did see; but the statement did nothing to diminish the high colour tinting her skin. She wanted passionately to explode about the number of people teaching their grandmother to suck eggs; and yet she was not used to passion in any sense. Fortunately Inspector Andrews wasn’t either. He made love as if he’d been taught at Police College — neither of them ever really let go. Jane couldn’t even give way to a mild tantrum.
Had she done so she would have realized she was really a bit jealous. Though she felt no physical attraction for Neil Prentice she felt envious that he’d had a hand in bringing out Ann Marie’s ebullient youth and latent sex appeal. And though Jane kept telling herself she mustn’t get jealous about the minds of people whose bodies failed to arouse her she still felt resentful. The knowledge that she was being absurd didn’t improve things. She had all the insight of a first rate psychiatrist but none of the control, and this, infuriated her above all things.
For all that, she had made a calculated decision and was convinced it was the right one.
Her motive for proceeding with a further test on Neil had nothing to do with his claim that he could in some way throw light on the damage that might or might not have been inflicted on her charges. Nor did it even bear on Andy’s obstinate refusal to commit himself on the subject of stolen radio-isotopes. Her decision was a clinical one: Neil Prentice, in her judgement, would never be free of his obsessions unless they were somehow resolved. A chat on the telephone to his GP in London confirmed this conviction. He had been about to call in a psychiatrist anyway: ‘The man is letting it take over more and more of his personality,’ he had said. ‘And I do not like such obsessions in neurotics. We all know where they can lead.’ He had been doubtful about TNA because he ‘personally felt uneasy about side-effects. Doctors have learned to their cost — and to their patients’ cost — the longterm effects of psychotropic drugs, even when used for controlled clinical purposes,’ but he certainly didn’t ‘believe in dictating terms to a specialist. If Neil believes in it, then it could do the trick. I’d be very interested to hear the outcome.’
So, although it was she — Jane — who had taken all the important decisions, all concerned seemed to regard her own significance in the matter as trivial, and she was human enough to feel stung.
As if to drive home her negative significance Braknell rang her. He was terse and to the point. ‘I’m told, despite everything, that you are resuming TNA therapy on Mr Prentice. Is that correct?’
‘Yes it is.’
‘Well you’d better know that I’ve had a discussion with the Registrar in Exeter. He now agrees with me fully that it would be grossly misguided to persist with TNA treatment except on a patient who didn’t respond to almost any other treatment available — including ECT. He suggests that you prescribe chlorpromazine for Mr Prentice and avoid abreaction altogether.’
Conscious that Ann Marie was watching her trying to keep her temper, Jane made the effort. ‘In the first place I will not use chlorpromazine because of its effect on the liver. Secondly I do not think that shock treatment is of any value with a neurotic in a schizoid state. Finally I should tell you that Mr Prentice’s GP has formally referred his patient to me and he sees no reason to question my judgement. Mr Prentice has agreed to have his medical records sent down to me here.’
Braknell, equally, kept his temper. ‘That’s a technical dodge and you know it.’
‘It takes care of the point, though.’
‘It won’t for long. Quite apart from my own influence with the BMA — on which I shall unhesitatingly capitalize at next week’s convention — there is a move to make TNA illegal.’
‘At present that is not the case, Dr Braknell.’
‘Agreed. When it does go through, though, people who used TNA up to that point will be suspect; and should they continue to use it they won’t just be up against the BMA but they will be infringing criminal law.’
‘I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.’
‘You’ll have to take several bridges in one leap, then. I have also had a talk with Father Stillwell. I take it you know what that’s about?’
Jane glanced at Ann Marie, thought about the suddenness of the metamorphosis, frowned very slightly into the telephone. This is the only point on which we may to some extent agree.’
‘But you don’t feel responsible?’
‘I have never been one to shirk my responsibilities, Dr Braknell, as you very well know. Like you I am concerned about it and will watch developments carefully. At the same time I must point out that it was entirely her decision, and in no way mine.’
‘Do you regret her decision?’
‘I can’t talk freely about that just at this moment.�
��
‘She’s in the room with you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, Father Stillwell tells me she didn’t even have the common courtesy to apologize for breaking every vow she ever took.’
‘I agree that’s not in character.’
Braknell’s tone changed abruptly. ‘Jane. Come off it! What do you want to do — commit professional suicide?’
‘It is you who have made an issue out of this and it’s too late to talk to me off the cuff.’
Braknell said grimly, ‘I see. Well let us hope that the Registrar’s prosaic opinion — that your patients went berserk merely because of the freak weather conditions — turns out to be correct. Otherwise you may be held responsible not just for the damage you may be inflicting on Prentice, but the disturbed behaviour of your entire ward.’
Jane said sarcastically, ‘I shall take comfort in the Registrar’s meteorological diagnosis.’
The line went dead abruptly, the dialling tone providing the final punctuation.
Jane and Ann Marie sat looking at each other. Ann Marie said, ‘All the time people’s egos seem to stand in the way.’
Jane went briskly to the filing cabinet and leafed through the dossiers with unnecessary haste. ‘Including mine, according to you.’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You meant it and you’re probably right. I am going ahead — as you gathered — with a further session with Prentice using TNA. I shall not have the assistance of Mr Richardson and I want you to participate.’
‘Naturally I will. But do I have the right to?’
Jane felt suddenly a little tired. ‘Ann Marie, you may have ceased to be a nun, but you haven’t handed in your thermometer.’
‘Of course I shall attend.’
Jane found the file she sought. ‘Thank you. I shall want you to look through this report. It discusses the common factors that run through various sessions using TNA on my patients here. The report on Neil Prentice’s therapy is still down in the typing pool but no doubt you’ve drawn your own conclusions already. I am not of course proceeding on the assumption that Neil can quite manage the miraculous revelations which in his view justifies the therapy.’ She looked up and smiled tightly. ‘Nor am I investing in your own rather optimist proposition.’
The Prayer Machine Page 6