by Nate Allen
have my wife.” the thought makes me uncomfortable.
“You have a commodity. Those who truly have wives here usually need something on the side,” he laughs. “All the nagging and opinionated inputs! You don’t have a wife, Andrew. You have a figment. You have something that belongs to the paradise you brought. She couldn’t leave it if she tried. She belongs to it just as the sand does.”
“So if I were to lease it she couldn’t come with to my new place?”
“We share. She is a commodity to be enjoyed. If you traded it to someone else, she would be a part of it. I sense that this is a problem.”
“She was the main part of paradise for me.” I say quietly. “But… she isn’t really who I was married to at all. She is like my puppet. She is actually much sexier than the real Angie.”
“And that puts the price on your property up a great deal. And that barely-there-bikini! You made a paradise that many can enjoy!”
“I’ll think about it, D.”
“You have plenty of time, Andrew. All the time you’ll ever need! We’re still a bit of a drive away from the place you want to see, so enjoy the scenery. You won’t see skies like this anywhere else.”
I look up. We are driving under a color palette: a sunset splattered with pink, orange, purple, light blue, and many shades of red. Now, the sky is black and covered in thousands of stars. We must be going over a hundred miles per hour, with how quickly we are changing from sky to sky. Now, it’s day again, a perfect blue, with just enough clouds to keep the sun from blinding us.
“What does the sky look like where I’m interested in leasing?” I ask.
“The sunset before a storm. It probably is my favorite as far as skies go. It has the perfect setting for a man of power, a man who is willing to do what needs to be done to get what he wants. Mr. Ericson, the man who lived there, was a man of definite power. Such a shame what those brothers did to him. He was the original creator of the place. Only a man who knows what power is could have created such a sky.”
Everything D says makes me more excited to see this place. Even though I was always considered a small man in my life, I always had the imagination for greater. In my head, I was powerful. I haven’t seen it yet but from what I’ve heard this place sounds like the perfect piece to express who I truly am. I am a man of power. Even the commodities seem like something I might have to take advantage of. As D says, ‘there’s always the opportunity for more.’ When I really think about it, I wouldn’t miss Angie at all. After all she is just a commodity.
The original creator of the place I’m going to see probably had higher tastes anyways. And if I can partake, if I can have a rolodex, like D suggested, why shouldn’t I? It’s really no different than having a line up in my head. These women don’t have feelings. They are part of the property, no different than a picture, really.
I was never one women found very attractive. Short and awkward, is how I was mostly described. Women liked the men who towered over them, not the ones who looked up at them…
Yeah, if it’s offered, why shouldn’t I have all the fun I couldn’t when I was alive? If Angie, my commodity, helps make this an even trade, what harm is there in it? I am a man, after all. And I haven’t been with a truly gorgeous woman. Now, they can’t say no. They are there to please.
“What kind of commodities does this place have?”
“Mr. Ericson was a man of power, Andrew. What kind of commodities do you think he had?”
“I can only imagine.” I say as I smile.
7
D nearly hit a man who wandered into the road. He came out from a ditch somewhere. Strange that he’s dressed like an angel from a bad play. Gold lacing a white robe; his face is mostly an unkempt brown beard. He’s holding a cardboard sign, looking at me:
3 Days…
”Get out of the road before I run you down!” D’s tone is sharp. Would he really kill him? I doubt it, but his threat seems legitimate, with how he’s revving his engine and stabbing into the man with his eyes.
The man holding the sign continues to look at me as he moves to the side of the road. As soon as he’s out of the middle, D steps on it.
“Three days?” I think out loud. “What does that mean?”
“Even here, you find crazy people. They are preparing for the apocalypse. I’m telling you, sometimes you really wish there was a bar to get in here, because those who slip through the cracks threaten to ruin the whole experience.”
“They believe this will all end in three days?”
“Don’t pay any mind to them. There are people with signs like that all over. I sometimes wish I could run them down. But, I never would.”
“Why aren’t they enjoying the little piece of paradise they brought with them?”
“That’s a good question. Many of them brought nice properties too. I am convinced that people don’t change. Instead of accepting that this place disproves any silly notion of a god, and ultimately means their whole life was wasted on nonsense, they continue to fabricate the idea of a god’s existence. It’s pathetic. They have the most beautiful sites at their finger tips: wealth, power, everything you’d ever want, and they still convince themselves something is missing.” he shakes his head with an exaggerated scoff. “Think about the people you avoided in life. Odds are most of them were bible thumpers. They were all opinions all the time! They would hold a book of rules over your head, citing some god, when in all actuality, the very rule book was created by people like them. It’s all a power grab. Even their book of rules was made by crafty types who wanted to control the people. They only had to create something to follow, to put the mind into a prison dictated by right and wrong, threatening damnation. If this is Hell, Andrew, lock me in and throw away the key!”
I laugh with him.
“That’s a good way to look at it, D.”
“I’m just looking out for you. Far too many logical people have been swayed by these fairy-tale following fools. Don’t be one of them.”
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
“That’s what I like to hear. It’s always refreshing to take a man who wants the whole experience on a showing. This is when I love my job most.
“Realty?”
”Yes.” he pauses. “I forgot to give you a card.” he hands me a small business card from his cup holder where I notice there is a thick stack. The card is black; the letters are a sharp red.
D Here: The Only Realtor You’ll Ever Want for Your Post-Life Needs!
8
We’ve driven under at least ten different skies since leaving the beach. Even the idea of a commute is pleasant. D was right: ‘You won’t find skies like this anywhere else.’ What a package deal so far! I am genuinely excited about every aspect.
The car has slowed down considerably now that we’re climbing a steep hill. We must be getting close. Even the sky seems to hold a looming storm in the distance. It’s even more awe inspiring than I imagined.
“Are you really going to be able to get me into this place, D? It seems much bigger than my beach is.”
“It is much bigger, Andrew. And usually I would laugh at the suggestion of trading yours for this, but considering the unfortunate circumstances that transpired there, many people don’t want to step anywhere near the property, let alone buy it. Their silly superstitions.”
“Because of what happened to Mr. Ericson?”
“Yes. There are plenty of people who worry the place is now haunted. The price tag has dropped on the property nearly seventy percent.” he pauses for a moment as if he wishes he could take back the information. “Honestly, I’m up front with you about this now because you seem to be the perfect successor to Mr. Ericson. The sky doesn’t scare you, like it does many people. It empowers you. I can already see it on your face and you haven’t even seen the view from the balcony: dark black clouds outlined with light, I can’t do it justice with description. The ocean is at its most intimidating, with waves fifteen feet high, smacking against the cliffside. The stu
nning five bedroom three bath, with the pool overlooking the ocean… and the garage has some of the oldest, and rarest cars known to man, not to mention the long list of women that you can choose from—stop me before I take it myself!”
He’s speaking my language and he knows it. D truly is an excellent salesman. This isn’t a pitch. This is true excitement. He wants me to have it, because he knows it fits who I am to a T. But, then again, D did give away a lot of information. Maybe too much.
“I want this place, D. I haven’t seen it yet but it fits me perfectly.”
“Good to hear, Andrew.” he smiles as he cuts the wheel sharply to the left to follow the curve of the road.
“There are just a few concerns I have,” he looks over at me slyly. “You said the property is nearly seventy percent off, which would value mine at only thirty percent of whatever this is worth. Mine definitely isn’t as big as this, but the ocean is actually usable. Am I going to go swim in storm waters? Absolutely not. This is, as you said before, something on the side. Also, don’t think I don’t remember the rules. He has a garage full of cars but like any commodity, I wouldn’t be able to drive them off the property.”
D looks over at me, his eyebrow raised in what looks like surprise. “Even if I were trying, I couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes, could I?” a small smile crawls onto his face.
“I consider myself a businessman too. You are looking for the best deal you can find, but you revealed