by Fred Allen
“It appears as though you’re going to have a baby that’s what you’re going to do. For God’s sake Sandy don’t expect me to have all the answers. Obviously, something will have to be done. Your father will call tomorrow and I’ll talk it over with him. No, perhaps I’d better wait until he comes back. This might be better handled face to face.”
Sandy continued to sob but her mother made absolutely no effort to comfort her. Sandy dried her eyes quickly as she heard Robbie coming down the stairs. He emerged, jumped on his bike and rode away announcing he had to pick up a book at a friend’s house. Her mother arose and announced that they should sleep on the problem but expressed the fear that there would be little sleep that night.
Nothing was said about the problem until Wednesday when her mother announced that the family would be going to Quebec City for ten days in November and that Sandy and Robbie would be out of school for a week. She had spoken with their father and he would meet them in Quebec City after his regimental reunion in Montreal. They would be driving to Quebec City and she told Robbie that his father would be calling him to give him instructions on loading the station wagon.
Later, when they were alone, her mother told Sandy that she had not told her father about Sandy’s problem but she had called a friend in Quebec City who was a doctor. They had an appointment to see the doctor while they were there.
The visit to Quebec City was a bit of a disaster. The doctor turned out to be a former boy friend of her mother and subsequent events proved that her mother had been meeting this former boy friend during previous visits to Quebec City and, in fact, had spent the evening with him the day before their appointment. The doctor’s examination merely confirmed what they already knew and she joined her mother in the waiting room. Her mother told her to wait in the car while she had a talk with the doctor. It was raining outside and her mother had their umbrella so Sandy decided to stay in the waiting room edging as close to the doctor’s office door as she could. Quite naturally, Sandy was very interested in her mother’s conversation with the doctor but totally unprepared for what she heard. Her mother came out of the office suddenly, very distraught and surprised to find Sandy at the office door. Nothing was said until they reached the car. Her mother was in tears and furious. “Rotten bastards!” She exploded. “All men are rotten bastards!” Turning to Sandy, tears still streaming down her mascara streaked face, she blurted, “You heard, didn’t you?” It was more a statement than a question. “I told you to wait in the car; why didn’t you do as you were told?”
Sandy was silent, still stunned at what she had heard standing at the office door. The doctor had been-and probably still was-her mother’s lover. Based upon the date of her parents’ wedding anniversary and her own birthday, Sandy had always suspected that her mother had been pregnant when her parents had married but the thought that someone else was actually her father had never entered her mind. The words she had heard through the door “David, you know she’s your daughter, you’ve got to help us!”.were still resonating in her mind. The doctor’s reply had been unintelligible but her mother’s reaction left little doubt as to what his answer had been.
They sat there silently. Her mother’s fury mounting at what she regarded as a personal betrayal. Sandy had noted that her mother always took things very personal regardless of whoever else was involved. Marie-Louise’s decision to seek a solution in Quebec City was intended to keep the situation out of the smaller Fredericton arena where secrecy would be much more difficult. She had been convinced that her former lover would provide a solution to “her” problem and she took his refusal to cooperate as a personal affront.
Her mother finally spoke. “Now your father will have to be told. He’ll be back on Monday and I’ll tell him then.” Sandy was tempted to ask how much would her father be told. However, she knew that the question was unnecessary. The startling revelation she had heard at the doctor’s office door was not likely to be discussed.
Returning to the present, Sandy looked at her mother over the book that she was pretending to read. The visit to Quebec City had been a complete disaster. Absolutely nothing had been achieved. In fact the startling revelations about her mother and her long time lover merely complicated the entire situation. Her father had returned by train early on Monday and he and Robbie had spent part of the afternoon loading the wagon in preparation for an early start on Tuesday. On Monday her father had greeted them all affectionately and everything had appeared normal. But this morning things seemed to be different. Her father was very quiet and her mother’s red eyes had been too much for even her skills at removing such tell tale signs of distress.
Sandy felt sorry for her grandparents. They only had the three grandchildren and always looked forward to such visits. She was particularly sorry for her grandfather who was mourning having had to put his faithful pet Nelson down. He always spent a lot of time with Sandy and Robbie during their visits but had detected early in this visit that his granddaughter and grandson were preoccupied with their own problems. One of the reasons that he was their favorite was that he respected their moods whereas their grandmother lacked his sensitivity. She was more concerned with appearances and so long as the grandchildren were well-mannered, neat in their appearance and well behaved in the presence of visitors, Grandmother Ross was satisfied.
But Grandfather Ross was concerned, and on a number of occasions Sandy thought he was on the verge of inviting her to have a “heart to heart”. Grandfather Ross still went to work several days a week. He was now a consultant at the Defence Research Establishment at
Valcartier where he had been Deputy Director prior to his retirement. He had some success with Robbie in getting him interested in his new Newfoundland pup “Churchill” and greatly enjoyed the interaction between Wee Willie and Churchill. Throughout his waking hours Wee Willie seemed to have no other interest but “Doggie” as he followed Churchill around the house as fast as his little legs would carry him. Churchill liked attention but seemed uncertain as to how to react to the very affectionate little boy. Churchill’s solution was to ration his exposure to Wee Willie by withdrawing to his secret hiding places when he had had enough hugs and tugs for one session.
Sandy was also aware that Robbie was showing considerable interest in her. Sandy understood something was on his mind since the incident with their mother but couldn’t quite understand why but she felt his eyes intently on her on many occasions. Of course, she did not appreciate just how flimsy the partition was between their bed rooms and how easily the sounds of her tossing and turning and sobbing carried during all those sleepless nights.
And now they were on the road back to Fredericton and Sandy’s thoughts returned to the present The only thing that had changed was that she was another ten days pregnant. As she looked at her mother and father over her book she could not help but reflect upon the strain the situation was placing on already fragile family ties.
Chapter IV
MARIE-LOUISE MARSHALL
As the station wagon moved along the main highway, Marie-Louise’s eyes were closed behind her sunglasses but she was not sleeping. Sleep would have been very welcome but it had no chance of gaining control over a mind in such torment.
For Marie-Louise it had been a sleepless night. First she had told Peter about Sandy’s condition and watched his initial recoil in disbelief. As he sat on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped; she even felt a slight tinge of perverse satisfaction. He had always portrayed either strength or typical Anglo detachment about the feelings of others. Marie-Louise had been subjected to this lack of sensitivity-at least in her opinion-for nearly eighteen years.
After moments of silence came the usual questions. First “were they sure?” Followed by “Who?” “When?” In answer to the first question Marie-Louise told Peter of the visit to Dr. Vincent and that David had confirmed their fears. That she had pleaded with David for help and he had declined because he was
opposed to abortion.
The mention of David Vincent seemed to strike a chord with Peter and Marie-Louise immediately regretted mentioning him. Peter knew that she and David had dated for a couple of years while she was in high school and he was involved in pre-med studies. There had also been an awkward incident when Peter had come across a letter from David with the inescapable implication that they had met on several occasions during family visits with her parents. Marie-Louise had protested that these encounters had been completely innocent and merely a few lunches with an old friend. However, David had not been discreet in his choice of words, and the result had been a fierce continuing argument which had contributed, in part, to a lengthy series of marriage counseling sessions with a psychology professor from the university who had a national reputation as both a practitioner and author on this subject.
Marie-Louise had been less than candid with the marriage counselor when it came to the delicate matter of extra-marital affairs. It came up during the first “one on one” session Marie-Louise had with the counselor and the manner he used in approaching the subject made it quite obvious that Peter had brought up the matter of David’s letter. The letter had long since been destroyed but there was no doubt that Peter remembered several passages in detail. She, of course, had denied any physical involvement with her former boyfriend and explained that it had all been a misunderstanding; that Peter had misinterpreted several passages from the letter. MarieLouise was by no means certain that she had convinced the counselor and was relieved when he moved on to another subject.
Marie-Louise had been accurate in her original description of her meeting with David as innocent. It had accurately described the first meeting with David at one of her mother’s cocktail parties during one of the family’s summer visits to Quebec City. It had been ten years since the breakup and it should be remembered that even the “hell” represented by the “fury of a woman scorned” does not represent a life sentence. To this, we should add the factor that David, ten years older, was so handsome and distinguished in appearance that he was the target of nearly every woman at the party. And Marie-Louise was very flattered that while he was very polite with the other women, he seemed to only have eyes for her.
Eventually, they had as much privacy as is ever afforded at such a gathering. His first words were “My God, Marie! You are so beautiful! How do you do it? You and Suzanne are the same age but she looks ten years older.” All music to Marie-Louise’s ears and the music was just a little sweeter because she was very angry with Peter. She had wanted to spend a few weeks in Paris this summer with a group of women from the university and he had put his foot down heavily with a lecture on her responsibilities to the kids. As the polite time for departure from the cocktail party approached, David insisted they get together again for lunch at the Chateau. Still annoyed with Peter for his refusal to agree to her trip to Paris, Marie-Louise accepted the invitation for the following day. She had always subscribed to the philosophy of “don’t get mad-get even!”
The lunch was most enjoyable. The deference shown to David by the Maitre d’ was a reflection of the prominence David enjoyed in the community, and they were escorted to one of the best tables on the balcony with a beautiful view of the St. Lawrence. David had certainly prospered. He had taken over his father-in-law’s practice and now, in his late thirties, had one of the best practices in the province and employed several other physicians and specialists. Success had not had the usual effect on David as it had on many French Canadian professionals. As often as not, they put on considerable weight and showed little resistance to the slide towards an early middle age. No, David had been a multi-faceted athlete in school and it was quite obvious that he continued his alpine and cross-country skiing. He had not added any discernable weight since she had last seen him and the only difference in his appearance she could detect was just a hint of gray at his temples and she thought that this added a touch of maturity to his otherwise youthful appearance. Their discourse included a comparison of family details and Marie-Louise was mildly surprised to hear that he and Suzanne had five children with one more on the way. Their target, he told her, was ten which he described as a good French Canadian family. It was a two-hour lunch and so pleasant that Marie-Louise agreed to meet for lunch again the following week.
The second lunch led to a third, but the third would be at a different location which would be the same summer cottage where they had spent those forbidden moments while she was still in high school and where she was quite sure that Sandy had been conceived. MarieLouise knew full well just where they were heading. She had given their relationship a lot of thought and the prospect of taking a lover was very exciting. By some convoluted exercise of logic she managed to blame it all on Peter. His lovemaking had become boring and so predictable. Besides, he had been very mean to her by always trying to exercise control over her personal life.
The third luncheon ended as she expected and their lovemaking lasted until late in the afternoon. MarieLouise discovered a level of pleasure and excitement that she had not experienced for years. For David this represented the ideal situation. Two mature people looking for nothing more than mutual satisfaction. He had had a few brief affairs since his marriage but most were consummated outside the city. He was much too well known in the city and there was always the chance of a dissatisfied partner and the potential for scandal. An affair with a married woman represented the ideal relationship where they both would have a lot to lose. An affair with a married woman from another city was even better.
During subsequent family visits, Marie-Louise had managed to arrange at least one tryst a week with David. The exercise in rationalizing her behavior had now reached the level at which she not only blamed it on Peter but also, by some twist of logic, arrived at the conclusion that Peter should actually be grateful for the excitement that had returned to their marriage. Peter’s discovery of David’s letter had let to some heated exchanges, but it appeared that marriage-counseling sessions were reducing the threat of drastic consequences.
The only tangible result from the marriage counseling had been Wee Willie. The prescription of a baby was not that unusual for marriages of between ten and fifteen years duration showing wear and tear at the edges and where a major factor was a bored housewife home bound by a combination of husband preference and a lack of marketable skills.
With one teenager and another approaching teen age, a baby was the last thing Marie-Louise wanted. On the other hand, Peter was completely in favor. That was completely understandable from Marie-Louise’s point of view. He was away most of the time and all responsibility for the new baby would fall on her. He argued that there was lots of room in the family home he had inherited from his parents and he pointed out that both Sandy and Robbie were old enough to help.
Peter was really keen on the idea and argued it would revitalize and, perhaps, even save their marriage. Marie-Louise was very reluctant but the prospect of marriage break-up was really not that attractive. She knew that family resources were such that there would be no guarantee of the life style to which she had become accustomed. Marie-Louise also recognized that there were a number of “perks” to be enjoyed by the wife of a famous personage. She was then thirty-five and in excellent health and had no doubts about Peter’s vigor and vitality. Their sex life had always been active and satisfying albeit not as frequent as in earlier years. Marie-Louise surrendered and as testimony to her good health and Peter’s virility, she was pregnant in less than two months.
Sandy and Robbie were thrilled with the news and were anxious to help in any way. Marie-Louise was bombarded with suggestions for names and she found great satisfaction in her ascendancy to the center of family attention. All their friends and, indeed, it seemed the whole town appeared to rejoice in the prospective addition to one of its first families. Grandmother and Grandfather Ross joined in the celebrations and Grandmother Ross tried to insist that Marie-Louise return to Quebec C
ity for the birth of their new grandchild. Peter put his foot down saying that the baby would be born in Fredericton and a compromise was reached under which Marie-Louise’s parents would spend a month in Fredericton to be present for the birth and assist in looking after Sandy and Robbie while Marie-Louise was in hospital and during convalescence.
The birth went smoothly and within five days Marie-Louise and the new member of the family-henceforth to be known as William Ross Marshall-was safely ensconced in the spanking new nursery and seldom out of the arms of either Sandy, Robbie, Grandmother Ross or one of the many visitors. William Ross Marshall quickly became Wee Willie more because of the alliteration than his size that had been nearly nine pounds at birth and thriving on all of the love and attention.
From the very first Wee Willie, had been a good baby. He slept all night, loved his bottle-no breast feeding for Marie-Louise-and cried only to advise that other bodily functions were working well. While for a few months the marriage counselor’s prescription appeared to be working, Marie-Louise found domesticity boring. When Wee Willie was six weeks old, her friend Anita decided that she deserved a “coming-out” party and arranged a shopping expedition to Bangor, Maine. Originally scheduled as an overnight trip, Anita met some old friends at the USAF Base just outside Bangor and it quickly became a weekend, and they returned late Monday. Peter had been away but returned on Sunday and was not at all happy with Marie-Louise’s extended absence. Although Anita was the widow of a very close friend, Peter was not fussy about her circle of friends and the life style into which his wife was being drawn. Some harsh words were exchanged that night when the kids were in bed and Peter decreed some ground rules that were to define her social activities and were particularly stringent as far as Anita was concerned.