by E. L. Todd
“I don’t blame you.” He’d already dumped me three times now.
“What is it with this guy, Marie?”
I sighed in embarrassment because I didn’t have an answer. “I have no idea.”
“Do you guys have a lot in common?”
“Not really.”
“Are you just really attracted to him? Is it all physical?”
“I am really attracted to him. But no, it’s not physical at all.”
“Then what is it?”
“If I knew I would tell you. If I could describe it I would. But I can’t.”
“Surely, you must know why you love him.”
I thought I did. But was there any concrete reason to love someone? Was it a combination of things? Or was it just a choice? I’d never been in love prior to this so I didn’t really know. “I do…but I also don’t.”
“Well, it doesn’t seem like he appreciates it.”
“No, he doesn’t.” There was no denying that fact. Axel captured my heart the moment our lips touched for the first time. His compassion and sensitivity brought me to my knees. When it was just he and I everything seemed perfect. I could picture us growing old together, surrounded by our children and grandchildren. When I pictured my husband’s face, it was Axel.
But he claimed he didn’t feel the same way.
“Marie, you’re too beautiful and smart to put up with a guy like him. I suggest you move on and forget about him.”
I stared at my hands in my lap. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“Stop seeing him so you can get over him. And when that day finally happens, start dating again.”
“If I get that job I’ll be moving to New York in a month.”
“There you go. There’s plenty of fish in the sea—especially the New York Sea.”
I chuckled. “You’re probably right.”
“So…can we be friends?” He extended his hand to shake mine.
“I’d love to be your friend.” I took it before I dropped his embrace.
“Great. I’m glad we could work this out.”
“Me too.”
He looked around my room, eyeing my bookshelves and dressers. He spotted my desk in the corner. It was made of white wood, vintage and handcrafted. “So…what do you want to do?”
I shrugged. “We can get dinner. My treat.”
“I am hungry…”
I didn’t have an appetite since Axel stabbed me in the heart, but it was slowly coming back. “How about pizza and Putt-Putt golf?”
He smiled. “That sounds awesome.”
***
Axel didn’t come around for the next week, which was nice since I didn’t want to see him anyway. I needed a break from him and all the drama that accompanied him. I wasn’t looking for a husband when we got together, but I also wasn’t looking for a meaningless fling either. Now I realized we both wanted different things and I needed to move on with my life. If Francesca could move on from Hawke, then I could do this.
“You doing okay?” Francesca served the plate of fajitas in front of me.
“I’m better.” A little bit, at least.
“Has he called?”
“No. Thankfully.”
She sat across from me and took a bite of her burrito. “At least he understands you need space.”
“Actually, he just understands I’m not going to let him play me anymore.”
Francesca ate and kept her eyes on me. She didn’t defend her brother even though he was her family. That told me he really deserved it. “At least you have Jason. He’s nice.”
“We actually went our separate ways.”
“Why?”
“He wasn’t comfortable with the whole Axel thing, and I honestly can’t blame him. He didn’t want to get in the middle of something so complicated.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. He made the right decision. He shouldn’t have to go through that.”
“Well…at least we’re graduating soon.”
“Yeah. Then I’ll be able to get out of here and never see Axel again.”
Francesca gave me a sad look before she kept eating. “I can’t believe the semester is almost over…and I’m actually going to pass my classes.”
My phone rang on the table and I saw a number I didn’t recognize. The area code was from New York.
Francesca leaned forward and looked at it. “Do you think it’s from a place you applied to?”
“I hope so.” My heartbeat kicked into overdrive as I stared at the screen. It could be a callback from a magazine, or it could just be another rejection.
“What if it’s Prada?”’
“Now you’re really making me nervous.”
“Girl, you’ve got this.” She dropped her burrito on the plate. “Own it.”
I took a deep breath before I answered. “Hello. This is Marie.”
“Marie, this is Hilda from Prada. We met for an interview last week.”
I covered the receiver and whispered to Francesca. “It’s Prada.”
She drummed her hands on the table in excitement. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”
I returned the phone back to my ear. “It’s nice to hear from you, Hilda. Thanks so much for meeting with me last week.” My manners kicked in on autopilot.
“The pleasure was all mine, Ms. Prescott. I’m calling because we were hoping you could come down for another interview.”
I covered my mouth so I wouldn’t scream.
Francesca stood up, desperately wanting to know what was being said.
I put my hand down. “I’d love to.”
“Great. I know this is short notice but are you available tomorrow?”
I had econ class but I didn’t give a damn about that. “I’m open.”
“Great. We’ll see you at two.”
“Thanks so much, Hilda. See you then.”
“Goodbye.” She hung up.
“Oh my god!” I jumped up and down and knocked over the chair. I needed some good news after all the shit Axel put me through.
“What’d she say? Talk to me!”
“I got a second interview.” I let out a scream.
“Oh my god. Are you serious?”
“Yes!”
“I knew this would happen. You’re so going to get that job.”
“God, I hope so.”
“When is this happening?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Damn, that’s short notice. Don’t you have class?”
“Who cares? It’s not like I have an exam.”
“True.”
I started to pace back and forth. “Oh my god. I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight.”
“Me neither.”
“I’m going to have to take some Nyquil or something.”
“Or Ativan if we had it.”
I headed to my bedroom. “I need to pick out my outfit and change it a million times.”
“Let me help you.” We both abandoned our dinner and headed to my room, doing what we do best. Together, we picked out the best outfit with just the right shoes. Now that I was excited about something I couldn’t stop thinking about Axel for just a few moments. It didn’t last long, but that short amount of time still gave me some peace.
***
Even though I already had one interview, I was nervous as hell. My leg wouldn’t stop shaking and my heart wouldn’t slow down. There were very few things I wanted this much, and right now this job was at the top of the list.
Hilda asked me a few more questions about my interests in writing and where I pictured myself in the next five years. She took interest in my clothes, noticing the Prada shoes I wore. Then the interview came to an end.
“Thank you for coming down here today. I’m excited to give this to you.” She grabbed an envelope from her drawer and pushed it across the table toward me. “I think you’ll find that we offer a competitive salary with benefits. Think things over and get back to me.”
I stared at the envelope without taking i
t, unable to believe what she just said. “Whoa…what?”
She gave me a friendly smile then glanced at the envelope.
“Are you offering me the job?” I’d been on very few job interviews, especially professional ones like this. Was this how they hired people? With a letter?
“Yes. That’s why we called you down here today.”
I took the envelope with shaky hands then opened it. The letter showed my salary for the year, along with my benefit plans, my number of sick days, and my vacation hours.
Oh my god.
“Get back to us within a week,” Hilda said. “I hope you’ll be joining us here at Prada.”
Somehow, I kept my cool and didn’t scream. “I’ll take it.”
“Are you sure you don’t want some time to think it over?”
“Absolutely not.” There was no better job out there. This was exactly what I wanted. I didn’t need time to think it over. “I can start the day after I graduate.”
She smiled. “I’m glad to hear your excitement.”
“Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity. I won’t let you down.”
“Stacy had nothing but good things to say about you. Personally, I care more about a person’s drive, personality, and determination than where they went to school and what their G.P.A. is. It’s clear you share the same passion as the rest of us. I think you’ll be a good fit here.”
I wanted to scream all over again. “Thank you so much.” I stood up and shook her hand.
“See you next month.” She gave me a friendly smile before she sat back down.
I waved then walked out, holding my head high and keeping my shoulders back. After I left the building and reached my car in the parking garage I finally let out the scream I’d been holding back. I called Francesca. “Oh my god. I got the job. I actually got the job. I’m officially working at Prada.” I said the words as quickly as possible. It was incoherent but Francesca would decipher it.
“Holy shit! I’m so happy for you.”
“I know…I’m happy for me too.”
“Get your ass back here so we can go out.”
“I’m on my way.”
***
“I can’t believe this,” Francesca said. “You got a job and you aren’t even out of college yet.”
“I can’t believe it either.” I jut finished my third margarita and I didn’t need another one.
“That means you’re going to have to find a place fast. Like, pronto.”
“I know. But I should be able to get a good place in the city. I can afford it.” My paycheck would allow me to have the lifestyle I wanted. I didn’t have to have a roommate anymore and I could still afford to go out a few times a week. “But it’ll be weird not living with you anymore…”
“I know.” She pouted her lips in sadness. “It’ll be strange.”
“No more muffins in the middle of the night.”
“Well, I’m sure I’ll still make you a ton. They just won’t be fresh at 3 A. M.”
“What are you going to do?” I’d keep paying rent until she found someone else to shack up with her.
“I don’t think I’m going to stay here.”
“Really?” I asked in surprise.
“I’ve always wanted to move to New York anyway. That’s where my shop is going to be. I may as well start scouting. There’s nothing left for me here anyway.”
“What about Cameron?” I thought they were hitting it off.
“I like him and everything but I’m not willing to stick around for him. I’m not sure what he plans to do after graduation. He doesn’t seem motivated to do a lot.”
“Does that mean you would break up with him?”
“New York is too far to commute. So yeah.”
“Oh…” I was hoping something more would come of this relationship. She didn’t even sleep with him. Cameron was totally a rebound but I thought she would get some use out of him.
“I think we can still be friends. He was never very serious with me anyway. If anything, I think he was helping me through a hard time.”
“What did he get out of it?”
A guilty look came over her face.
Now my job was completely forgotten. “Did you…?”
She nodded.
“You slept with him?”
She nodded again. “Guilty.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. All that Axel shit was going on and I didn’t think it was the best time to talk about my sex life.”
“It’s always a good time to talk about that.”
“Well, we did it.”
“How many times?”
“We’ve been doing it a lot, actually.”
“That’s great.” It was beyond great. The fact she was sleeping with someone was an indication that everything was okay. She could still sense Hawke when he was around, but that phenomenon seemed innate. Nothing would get rid of it. “How was it?”
“The first time was terrible. All I thought about was Hawke. I kept comparing them, and then a sense of longing would overcome me. It was just sex, the kind where you try to get each other off just so you can climax. With Hawke…it was totally different. But after the first time we did it I stopped thinking about it. Now I don’t think about it at all anymore.”
“That’s great news.”
“I like Cameron. He’s a great guy and he has a lot to offer. But, I think we both understood what our relationship was. It was never going to last forever, and both of us saw the ending shortly in the distance. But that’s okay. We enjoyed it while it lasted.”
Why couldn’t I have a healthy outlook like that? Why couldn’t I take my relationship with Axel at face value? I had to be stupid and fall in love with him—like an idiot. “At least you had fun while it lasted.”
“Yeah, that relationship helped me a lot. I’ll always feel grateful toward him. He put up with me a lot.”
“That was sweet.”
“He had his own issues, and I think I helped with that. It was mutual.”
“So…that means we’re both moving to New York.” I was so ready to get the hell out of there. I didn’t want to be in the same town as Axel as much as possible. I wanted to move to the big city and see all the other fish in the sea. I wanted to find a great guy who would care for me the way I cared for him. I wanted to find a husband—someone to fall in love with. “We can be room mates again.”
“Of course not,” Francesca said. “You should get your own place. You deserve it.”
“Where will you go?”
She shrugged. “I’ll figure it out. I’m a good problem solver.”
In the back of my mind I kept thinking about Hawke. He would be living in the same city as both of us. If he kept popping up around here, he was bound to pop up around there. “And what about him…?”
She immediately had an answer, like she rehearsed it. “New York is a much bigger place than Myrtle Beach. I doubt we’ll run into each other. Eight million people live there.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. “As long as you’re okay with it.”
“I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m over him.” She was quiet for nearly a minute before she continued. “But I’m…okay.” She nodded like she was agreeing with herself. “I’m really okay. I can picture myself with other men, and I can see myself having something with someone someday. It still hurts the way he left me, but if he’s happy I’m happy for him. A part of me will always love him, but I’ve also let him go. I’m ready to move on to the next chapter in my life.”
I’d been waiting to hear those words for a long time. “Good for you.”
She grabbed her glass and held it up high. “A toast.”
I grabbed my glass even though it was empty.
“To two of the most badass chicks ever.”
“I’ll drink to that.” I clanked my glass against hers.
“And to all the hearts we’re about to break in the big city.” She downed her margarita
and drank it all.
“Cheers.”
***
It was hard to concentrate on school when I had a job waiting for me. It didn’t seem like it mattered if I got A’s or C’s. Hilda said G. P. A. didn’t matter to her. It didn’t matter to me either.
Somehow, I pushed on and tried to focus. I had the most serious case of senioritis and I couldn’t shake it off. In just two weeks, I would be graduating with honors and skipping town.
My life was finally taking a good turn.
I had to get all my things together as quickly as possible, and I needed to find somewhere to live. I wasn’t staying in Myrtle Beach a second longer than I had to. I wanted to find a one-bedroom apartment in the city, something bigger than a broom closet. And I needed to start packing my things and sorting my stuff out from Francesca’s. We’d been living together for so long I didn’t know what belonged to whom at this point.
“Packing already?” Francesca watched me place the boxes behind the couch.
“I’m doing it in stages. It’s better than to do it all at once, right?”
“I think you’re just excited.” She gave me a smile, the kind that showed her happiness for me.
“Well…I am excited.”
Francesca pointed to her laptop at the table. “I found a few apartments you might like. They’re close to your work so you won’t have to take a cab. You can probably walk.”
“Thanks, Frankie.”
“No problem.”
I stacked the next box on top. It was full of old clothes I didn’t wear anymore. The box below it was full of shoes. The couches belonged to Francesca so I’d have to get my own stuff when I found a place. “Frankie, I really think you should live with me for a while.”
“Girl, I’ll be fine.”
“Come on, it makes sense. It’s only temporary. Stay with me for a few months while you take care of your bakery. I don’t know a whole lot about business, but I know opening up a shop isn’t a walk in the park.”
“I don’t want to burden you. You’ve had to put up with me for four years.”
“It’s been longer than that.”
“You know what I mean.” She put one hand on her hip. “You deserve your own space.”
“I wouldn’t be asking you unless I wanted you to come with me. That way you don’t have to rush out and settle for something you don’t love. You can take your time and not have to worry about making rent and stuff like that.”