The room returned to hushed silence. Simon looked around, begging for someone, anyone, to speak up. Harriet glowered at Ingrid. Bob struggled against the ropes on his wrists.
“Actually, I do, ye mad old whore,” said a voice from the crowd.
Pins dropped all over the place.
----
Gabby couldn’t believe their luck. So far, every guard station they’d passed on the way up the tower had been abandoned. It looked like Luke was going to turn out to be completely right, this time. They hadn’t even had to be particularly quiet, since the drums had been reverberating around the whole building.
Even so, they’d crept carefully up the steps, peeking round every corner, prepared to put their ingenious “Where’s the toilet?” charade into effect. But after three guard posts, they’d not seen a single person. Luke peeked around the final corner to scope out the route to the room Star had told him housed the emergency button - the Priest Signal.
“Crap,” he whispered.
“What?” Gabby asked, nervously.
They were expecting at least one guard, so if it was bad, there must be more. Two, three, maybe four.
“How many are there?” she asked.
Luke turned around. “None.”
“What?”
“None. Nobody. Just ... a door.”
“Is that bad?”
“Well, it seems odd, don’t you think? There must be some sort of security, but we can’t see it.”
The drums stopped, leaving them looking at each other in silence.
“That can’t be good,” said Luke.
Gabby knew they were running out of time. She launched herself past Luke and headed for the door.
“Wait!” he yelped, grabbing at the air behind her.
By the time he caught her, she had already reached the door and was turning the handle. It swung open with a creak.
Neither of them saw what was behind it - Luke, because, having desperately tackled Gabby, he was face down on the stone floor; Gabby, because she had a face full of Luke.
“Are you mad?!” They shouted in unison.
“You could have killed yourself!” Luke shouted, bringing himself up to his knees.
“Well, we’re out of time, right?”
“That’s no excuse!”
“Well, nothing happened, did it?” Gabby gestured wildly at the open door as evidence of the perfectly safe nature of her actions.
As there was, conspicuously, absolutely nothing pointy, hungry or otherwise violent emerging from the door, Luke decided not to argue. He sighed and helped Gabby to her feet. Slowly, the two of them crept towards the door until they could see inside.
What they saw was not quite what they had been expecting.
Firstly, there were four unconscious guards tied up on the floor. One was snoring. Two were going to be slightly uncomfortable when they woke up, unless they actually had that kind of relationship.
Above them was a button. Like all the best ones, it was fat and red, with EMERGENCY ONLY proudly printed on it in big white letters. That was, in fact, pretty much exactly what they were expecting to see. But it was the flashing light above the button that really spoke to Luke and Gabby. What it said was:
“Somebody already pressed the button.”
----
“Who was that?” Ingrid literally spat into the throng below her. Several people were repulsed.
“I fucking knew he was a good ‘un,” Harriet smiled.
The crowd moved to leave Sean standing alone in a circle of abandonment. Those who had been standing directly next to him had clearly not wished to be mistaken for having been the one who had called the crazy lady a bad word. They all shrank back, trying to blend into the person next to them.
“The barman?” Ingrid laughed, followed by familiar cackling behind her. Amelia, however, smiled. Her limpid eyes moved for the first time since the trial began, to look appreciatively at the Irishman, who had, for some reason, come dressed in even more extravagant pirate regalia than usual.
“You don’t get a say either, you idiot bottom feeder. Council members only.”
“Actually,” said Sean, smiling that smile, “I think you’ll find that on December 13th, 1814, I was appointed Special Advisor to the Council on all matters of and relating to Piracy. To my knowledge, that appointment has never been repealed, so I am, in fact, a member of the Council.”
Ingrid’s face was thunder. “Is that true?” she hissed indiscriminately at the women behind her, who looked hopelessly at each other for an answer. Finally, one looked back at Ingrid and shrugged.
“I don’t believe you!” Ingrid barked.
“Well, no problem,” Sean answered, calmly, “We can just wait until Priest gets back and ask him.”
This was not the response Ingrid had desired, clearly. She was literally foaming at the mouth.
“Fine,” she barked. “Your challenge is accepted. Choose your weapon for a trial by combat.”
Sean took a breath. Simon suspected he had been hoping she would wait. After a pause, he reached down and drew a beautifully engraved cutlass from its scabbard.
“I’ll have this, ta,” he said.
Simon turned to Harriet. “Is he any good?”
“He’s a fabulous swordsman,” she answered.
Simon deeply regretted asking the question. As was often the case.
“Simon,” Bob whispered, “Move your hands to mine.”
Simon was puzzled, but did as he was told, and was surprised to find Bob’s hands moving largely unrestricted to work on his binds. Harriet moved closer to them both, positioning herself to hide them from the witches’ lines of sight.
Finished conferring with her coven, Ingrid finally turned back towards the pirate and spoke.
“As a lady, I, of course, exercise my right to select a champion. I nominate Ki.”
Ingrid gestured with a flourish toward the guard, who stepped forward, bowed slightly, and drew his katana from its place on his back.
“Aw, shite,” Sean muttered.
The crowd had begun to thin out, creating a large space in the middle of the room. Sean walked casually toward Harriet.
“I am so hot for you, right now,” she whispered at him.
“Hang onto those ropes,” he grinned back at her, “and you can thank me later.”
“Oh my God!” Simon had realised something fairly awesome – certainly in his estimation.
Bob and Harriet both turned to him in alarm.
“Sshhh,” Bob warned him, “Don’t draw attention to us.”
“Sorry,” Simon replied, hushed now, “but do you realise what’s about to happen?”
The pair looked at each other blankly.
“Pirates versus Ninjas!”
----
Sean had not entirely thought this through. His first plan had not been great. His fallback plan, to call Priest back and stall the trial, had seemed like a great idea. He hadn’t expected Ingrid to agree to the challenge so easily. And he’d been pretty sure he’d be a match for any of her private guard when it came to swords. But he’d forgotten she could call on Priest's private guards while he was off the island – and, therefore, Ki.
They were friends. They’d spent many nights up late, drinking Saki and talking about which Empire would win in fantasy combat. Ming versus Byzantine. Rome versus America. He was a quiet, thoughtful man. And Sean was either going to have to kill him or, more likely, be killed by him.
“Ki,” Sean nodded in acknowledgement.
“Sean,” Ki bowed slightly.
Sean moved in close, touching swords with Ki in an apparent gesture of readiness.
“Any chance we could just spin this out as long as possible?” he asked quietly, when their faces were only a few feet apart.
Ki looked confused. “What are you up to, my friend?”
“I just need…”
“Hoi!” Ingrid barked to interrupt. “No talking. If you two are thinking of fixing this, let me make
the rules very clear. One of you dies or you both die.”
Ki and Sean looked hard at each other. Ki shrugged.
“Pirate rules?” Sean grinned.
“What are Pirate rules?” the ninja asked.
“Ever seen an Errol Flynn movie?”
“Of course.”
“Dirtier than that.”
“OK,” Ki smiled back.
Sean pushed Ki away with his sword and the two began to circle around each other. Ki moved fluidly, like a cat. Sean’s movement was more deliberate, more cautious. It had been a long time since he’d had to do this, and even longer since he’d done it on solid footing. Still, like riding a horse, right? You never forget.
“Are you two going to fight or dance?” the witch bellowed again.
With that, Sean swung high over his head and brought the sword down in a crashing arc onto the cobblestones, where Ki had been standing. Ki, on the other hand, was now behind him, having somersaulted over him from a standing position. The two turned and faced each other again.
“Cool,” whispered Simon.
Harriet glowered at him. The two fighters began again, their swords clashing repeatedly as they moved around inside the circle of witnesses. Both were feeling their way, pulling their punches. There was no bloodlust between the two, but it was certainly more convincing than Errol Flynn.
And without the straining tights.
----
Simon felt the binds of his rope come loose – loose enough for him to slide one hand free from the other. He was free, but carefully kept his hands behind him, maintaining the illusion of captivity. The urge to stretch his shoulder muscles was horrendous. He had to settle for cricking his neck, which was blissful in itself.
Bob moved on to Harriet’s binds.
“Hurry,” she prompted him,” I’m not sure how long toyboy’s going to last.”
“I know,” said Bob, “try to stay still.”
Bob looked up as he worked and paused as he realised he was being watched. Intently.
Amelia had come to the edge of the balcony. She looked sad and scared. And sorry. Bob wondered how long she’d been watching and if she knew what he was doing. He wanted to let her know, but dare not risk any of the witches seeing. Instead, he beamed a broad smile and winked.
----
Amelia was stunned. She had no idea why he was smiling. But the idea that there was some reason for hope, some glimmer of a possible way out of this, was all she needed. She was reinvigorated.
If her mother was going to try to kill her new friends, she wasn’t going to let her do it easily.
----
Sean and Ki continued to cross swords below, feinting, parrying and carrying on their melee to the delight of the crowd. It was a spectacular show and only those genuinely trained in the art would have been able to tell that’s exactly what it was. Ki’s acrobatics were particularly impressive, though Sean used the surrounds to his advantage.
As he was knocked against a member of the crowd, he reached back and grabbed the man’s belt, pulling him round as a human shield. Ki, naturally, stopped. Sean poked his sword under the man’s armpit, nicking his opponent’s sword arm. Ki stepped back in surprise.
“Touché,” he nodded to Sean.
“Ta,” Sean answered as the panicked witness dragged himself away to the back of the crowd, rattled, but unhurt.
----
As the spectator crept away, he bumped into a couple trying to worm their way in the other direction. They were trying to get in closer, but the crowd was tight knit this close in.
“What can you see?” Gabby asked, urgently.
“It’s the barman, the one Debovar’s aunt was with. He’s fighting … a ninja, I think. And he’s dressed like Johnny Depp in that pirate film.”
“What the hell is going on?”
----
Ingrid was growing more incandescent with rage by the minute. Regardless of her stunning beauty, not a man (or woman, for that matter) would want to get within 100 yards of her right now, for fear of being melted by sheer malice.
Unfortunately for all concerned, she was about to get more bad news.
“Madam,” a guard tugged at her shoulder.
She spun round to face him. “What?!”
The guard paused briefly to wipe the saliva from his eye.
“Someone has activated the emergency button. They assaulted the guards, but left them unharmed. I thought you should know.”
Ingrid stood up to her full height, which looked a good six inches more than it was.
She turned to watch the fight with murder in her veins.
“They’re stalling,” she hissed to nobody in particular.
----
Amelia hadn’t heard what the guard said to her mother, but she knew the look on her face. Somebody was about to be very sorry for something. She crept closer, making a show of trying to get a better view of the action. As she neared her mother’s shoulder, she heard her muttering. It didn’t sound like any language she’d heard.
Which was a worry.
As was the fact that her eyes were glowing blue.
----
Sean was getting tired. They’d been at this for a good fifteen minutes now and, while it surely looked good, they were going to have to come up with an exit strategy soon. He and Ki were managing to look like they were trying to kill each other, and both had a few flesh wounds for dramatic effect but, if Priest didn’t show up soon, they were going to have to find a way out of this.
Then, as he turned away from one of Ki’s lunges, he glimpsed a face in the crowd, and an idea formed.
He leaned in towards the ninja, preparing to tell him his idea. But something weird happened: Ki’s eyes flashed blue. Then looked very, very angry.
“Ki?” he asked, hopefully.
Ki’s mouth contorted into a malicious grin as he slowly shook his head.
Oh, bollocks.
----
“Wow, they’ve really stepped it up!” Simon whispered. “I mean, it was amazing before, but … wow!”
“Could you please remember what’s at stake here?” Harriet snapped at him.
Bob finished freeing her hands.
“Right,” she said, “everybody ready?”
“For what?” Simon asked.
“I’ve no bloody idea, sunshine, but whatever it is, we’d better be ready for it.”
----
Sean was parrying with everything he had. Whatever had possessed Ki, literally, by the look of it, had retained his martial arts skills, which meant he was now fighting an extremely capable ninja who was actually trying to kill him. A different proposition entirely.
He was coping, but only just, and it was only a matter of time before he slipped up.
New plan.
Sean began staggering, as if his legs were about to give way, feigning a pain in his ankle.
Ki smiled broadly and closed in, like a lioness stalking a wounded antelope. He slashed again and again at Sean, who parried and dodged, but stumbled backwards.
----
“Shit,” said Harriet, “he’s going over. Get ready.”
Sean circled past them and glanced up to see Harriet poised to strike as Ki advanced toward him. She wrapped the rope around her fist, ready to pound the ninja unconscious as soon as he passed her. But the look on Sean’s face made her pause. In fact, she thought he mouthed “No”. She furrowed her eyebrows at him quizzically.
If she had been unsure about the word, the definite shake of his head made it very clear: he wanted her to stay out of it.
The chivalrous idiot was going to get himself killed. Harriet was unused to men being prepared to die for her and part of her found this exceptionally romantic. However, Harriet being Harriet, mostly she thought it was bloody stupid.
Bob placed a hand on her wrist.
“Wait, I think he knows what he’s doing,” he said.
Harriet turned to him. “You better be pretty damn sure, mate, or else it won’t be
the bitch up there you need to worry about,” she gestured towards Ingrid, “it’ll be the one down here.”
“I know,” said Bob, “so trust him, not me.”
Harriet was unused to putting her faith in anyone other than herself. Mainly because most other people were imbeciles. This was a lot to ask. But what the hell, this was one weird-ass holiday.
She relaxed her muscles and returned to watching the fight play out. Besides, the ninja was out of her reach, for now, and even she wasn’t stupid enough to think she could cover several yards to reach him before he filleted her with the big sushi knife.
----
Sean finally lost his footing and fell, somewhat harder than he intended. That was going to hurt tomorrow. Assuming he was alive tomorrow. His sword clattered away from him. For all intents and purposes, he was at the mercy of his opponent, who closed in with his sword raised high. Sean rolled onto his side and put up a hand in defence.
“Wait,” he panted.
Ki looked down at him curiously. “No,” he replied, tensing to bring the sword down and end the fight.
----
Amelia grabbed her mother’s shoulder and shook it.
“Mother,” she asked, with faux concern, “is everything OK?”
Ingrid jolted as if from a dream and turned to look at her daughter. Had it been anyone else in the world, they would most likely have spent the few remaining moments of their life in agony.
Carpet Diem Page 20