by Marie Harte
“Yeah, yeah.” J.T. mumbled under his breath. “And now you’re in love like the rest of the losers at the garage. Hell, that place is like Cupid on crack. Step away from the love juice, man. Just step away.”
They both chuckled.
“Dude, I wish I could.” Lou sighed. “I am straight-up drinking the Kool-Aid. I can’t explain it, and I hate to get all talky-talky, especially since the guys have started that shit at the garage.”
J.T. winced. “I feel for you. But go ahead, lay it on me. Us artistic types are allowed to be emotional dickheads. Comes with the temperament.”
“Thanks so much, J.T.”
J.T. held up a glass in mock toast. “Here for you, man.”
“It’s just, Joey is different. She’s real. I really, really dig her.” Lou stared morosely at his half-empty glass. “I think I could see a lot of tomorrows with her. And I know she’s lying to me.”
* * *
After choking on his beer, J.T. wiped his mouth and blinked. “Ah, what?”
Cool, J.T. Play it cool.
He waited for Lou to reason it out. Unless Lou was thinking Joey lied about something other than having a son. A man on the side, maybe?
No. No way. Del’s flower chick buddy, Lou’s new flame, didn’t have that feel. She wasn’t a player, was a damn good mom, according to Del, and blushed if he so much as looked at her funny. The woman was sweet for sure, but not too nice or Lou wouldn’t be able to deal with her. She had to have a little nasty in there to satisfy the garage’s legendary ar-teest.
Lou looked confused, kind of sappy, and downright pathetic. J.T. shook his head. “Christ. I hope I never get like this. Being single is a blessing, I’m thinking.”
“You know it.” Lou downed the rest of his beer. “What makes it all worse? My family loves her.”
J.T. gaped, knowing how much Lou treasured his family. The guy never took his ladies to meet his mom. “You took her home to the family?”
“No way. My mom and sisters surprised us yesterday. An uninvited pop-in with dinner.”
“Oh, dinner.” J.T. loved Renata’s cooking. Lou, that bastard, had no idea how good he had it. Del, his dad, and his cousin, Rena, all sucked at cooking. Meaning J.T. had grown up with no one to make him good food or even cookies unless his aunt was in the mood. And that damn woman was usually too busy getting her telenovela love life in check to bother with feeding her poor, starving nephew.
Lou was shaking his head. “They just showed up at the door.”
“Oh man, that could have been some seriously bad timing.” J.T. chuckled.
“Seriously.” Lou grinned, then sighed. The guy had a bad case of love asthma. “My mom likes her.”
“Your mom likes everybody.”
Lou grunted. “Stella likes her too.”
“Well, now, that changes things. Stella?” The cutie snarled at everyone she didn’t deem worthy of her time. Of course she liked J.T., but come on. Everyone did.
“Yeah. And Joey was great with Rosie. I can totally see her with kids someday.”
J.T. choked on the sip of beer he’d been taking. Lou pounded him on the back.
“That’s twice. Slow down, lightweight, before you drown yourself.”
“Thanks.” He cleared his throat. “So is this thing between you guys real? Like, a relationship leading to the m-word?”
He waited for Lou to tell him no. Hell no. What the fuck, no.
Except the big man just sat and started peeling the label off his bottle. J.T. worried for his friend. “That’s great, man.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Why not?”
“Didn’t you hear me earlier? I said she’s lying to me.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know.” Lou got up and hit two more bull’s-eyes. Damn. “She can’t spend the night with me. She never has me to her place. I mean, I know we’re new to going out and shit, but not once are we going to her house, meeting her friends, her family.”
“It’s pretty soon for that.”
“It should be.” Lou agreed. “But it’s not. I know she lives with her parents and has been saving up to move out. I also know some dickhead who screwed with her a long time ago is back in town, messing with her head. I want to be there for her, but she holds back.”
“Force a confrontation.”
“I don’t want to hurt her.”
“I don’t mean pound on her. Dude, she’s a girl.”
Lou shot him a look. “I know that, jackass. I just meant I don’t want her to feel bad. She was close to crying because of that old boyfriend yesterday and freaked me out. I hate tears.”
“You see them all the time.”
“From my sisters, yeah, but—”
“Oh, right. Your sisters. I meant from your clients when they see your crappy artwork.” J.T. laughed, then yelped when Lou slugged him in the arm. “Kidding, geez. Easy on my guns, man. I have to use these arms to hold up God’s gifts to the art world.” J.T. held up his hands like a surgeon awaiting plastic gloves.
“Gimme a break.”
He could see Lou trying to stifle a smile.
“Look, Lou. All I’m saying is if you really like this girl, and you do, you can’t be afraid to argue or disagree. Sure, you want her smiling and happy with life all the time, but if she’s holding back, you need to know. I’d want to know.”
“Yeah.”
Apparently not anything the guy hadn’t already thought about. “So if we’re done with the—what did you call it?”
“Talky-talky. You know, emotional bullshit where we discuss feelings ad nauseam.”
J.T. cringed. “Ah, right. We’re done with that, right?”
“I hope to hell so. Bad enough I have to hear all this from my sisters on a daily basis. I’m done bitching about it. In fact, we never had this conversation, comprendes?”
“Then can we get back to the game? I’m closing in on you.”
“I have twenty more points before I’m out. Dream on.”
Unfortunately, Lou apparently played better when in an emotional quandary.
J.T. groaned and ordered them some hot wings. And, being the loser, he paid.
Rena arrived half an hour later when their waitress went on break. “Hey guys. How’s it going? Need anything?”
“Nah, we’re good.” Lou smiled. “I’m trouncing your cousin. Life is awesome.”
“Shut up.” J.T. waited for Rena to say something snippy. Instead, she casually glanced around the bar. He smirked. “Looking for someone?”
She narrowed her eyes. “As a matter of fact, I am.”
“Oh, did you tell her?” Lou asked him.
She said, “I’m looking for Earl” at the same time J.T. said, “Heller’s mom died,”
She gasped. “Oh my gosh. Axel’s mom is dead? That’s awful. What happened?”
“Cancer,” Lou answered quietly. “He’s gone back to Germany to settle things. Won’t be back for weeks.”
“Poor Axel.” She shook her head and wandered away.
“Just goes to show you,” J.T. said. “Life is short. You like Joey? Figure it out before it’s figured out for you.”
“Amen to that.”
They drank a toast to Heller. And J.T. secretly added well wishes for Lou. He hoped the guy sorted out his relationship with Joey, because it was only a matter of time before Lou learned that not only was Joey a kid person but that she had a special one all her own.
“Rena,” he yelled to his cousin across the bar. “Another beer.” He glanced at his introspective friend. “Actually, make it a pitcher.”
* * *
Joey would much rather have spent her afternoon with Lou, but she had an ex-boyfriend to handle. Referring to him as that and not as Brandon’s father helped her deal with Felix’s re
appearance in her life.
She sat at a coffee shop in Green Lake, far from home and Brandon and her mother. Another grandma day, and her mother was tickled to have Brandon all to herself once more. Andrew loved it, because he didn’t have to take his wife to the coffee gathering with her book club friends. Instead, she’d dragged Brandon with her to show him off.
Joey sighed. At least someone would be having fun today. She sipped from her decaf hazelnut latte, not needing any more stimulants in her day. Her knee bobbed, she kept tapping on the table, and the urge to bite her nails felt impossible to ignore.
“Hey, sweetheart, you doing okay?” The handsome guy from behind the counter came to sit with her for a moment.
Startled, she just stared. Were the people who worked here supposed to just sit down with the customers?
“You look upset.”
“I do?” She patted her hair and straightened her shoulders, not wanting to look less than amazing when dealing with Felix.
“Better.” He smiled and held out a hand. She didn’t get the impression he was hitting on her. Just being friendly. “I’m Elliot.”
“Joey.” She shook his hand before clutching her coffee cup once more.
“Mind if I ask why you’re here? And yes, it’s nosy beyond belief to be all up in your biz-ness.” He grinned. “But that’s how I roll.”
She couldn’t help grinning with him. Elliot had dark hair and deep-green eyes, a killer smile, and a body that didn’t quit. Not as large or muscular as Lou, but he was handsome and charming and closer to her own age. And he didn’t feel threatening.
“I’m meeting an ex-boyfriend for a talk I’d rather not have.” She sighed. Her knee bobbed again.
Elliot took her hand and squeezed. “Well, you’re beautiful, sweet, and will look perfect as soon as you switch seats.” He nodded to the one next to her. Puzzled, she nonetheless moved to it, and he nodded. “There you go. Now when he comes in, he’ll be in the sun. Let’s raise the blind, shall we?” He went behind her, pulled up the shades, and let a beam of sunlight hit the chair she’d recently vacated. “Oh, new customers. Gotta go. Give him hell, Joey.”
She felt more at ease and smiled. “Thanks, Elliot. I will.”
Felix walked through the door.
Elliot glanced from her to the newcomer, whistled, then hurried to the counter to charm the people lining up to order.
Joey didn’t stand when Felix appeared by her side. She waited for him to join her.
“I’m going to get a coffee if that’s all right.” At her nod, he said, “Be right back.”
She waited, watching, and gathered her composure. She would run this little meeting, not him. Brandon was her son, not his. Well, technically yes, but legally, she had papers. She kept clinging to that notion, not wanting to imagine the rich and connected Rogers family ganging up on her to take her son.
Think positive. You own this. Stop worrying! “Easier said than done,” she mumbled to herself. Yet as she watched Felix, she started to see his edges fraying.
Had she not known better, she’d have thought Felix perfectly calm. But she saw the tells he tried to hide, the way he subtly wiped his hand on his pants and pulled at his sleeves. After he got his coffee and walked away from the counter, Elliot made a face at his back, and she had to work not to laugh.
She was definitely coming back to Sofa’s in the future. If for no other reason than the funny barista.
Felix sat and rolled up his sleeves. The warmer June weekend had taken a turn for the cool, so she wasn’t surprised to see him in jeans and a long-sleeved button-down. No ratty jean jacket or Seahawks sweatshirt for a Rogers.
She hated that he still looked so handsome and clean-cut.
“Well?” she barked, totally ruining her attempt to appear unfazed by their meeting.
He blew out a breath. “Look, I deserved that big ‘fuck you’ yesterday. Weird hearing you say it, but I get it.”
“Thanks so much.” Man, sarcastic Joey really wanted her say. Where had her goal to be mature and sensible gone? Not two seconds into the conversation, and she couldn’t just let it happen and get it over with?
“I know you’re not happy to see me. In your place, I wouldn’t be either. I’m not here to make trouble or try to take Brandon away. Not at all. I swear.”
She relaxed a fraction. “Then what do you want?”
He shrugged. “Closure? Forgiveness? A way to feel not so much a failure?”
Okay, all things she hadn’t for the life of her expected. “Go on.”
He gave a ghost of a smile. “I never knew how good I had it when I was with you. I know we were young, but that’s no excuse for how I behaved. After.”
She sipped her coffee, not sure to believe anything he said. The school’s golden boy didn’t seem so golden. She saw sadness in those big blue eyes.
“Man, back then, everything was there for the taking. I had the prettiest girl in school. My folks had prestige, my dad was running a Senate campaign. Mom was involved in every PTA and charity event for miles. Dan, you remember Dan.” His older brother. She nodded. “He’d just gotten accepted to Harvard Law.”
Was there a point to all his greatness?
“But you. You didn’t care about the campaigning, my mother’s largesse, Dan’s impressive resume.” Trust Felix to use a word like largesse in casual conversation. “You just liked being around me for me.” He sighed, ignoring the coffee that would soon be going cold in his hands. “I loved being with you, Joey. You were so sweet, and we had so much fun. Then all the guys were pressuring me about making out with you, going all the way. God, it’s so stupid now. But I felt like I had to put a check in that box to get my official man card.”
He gave a wry smile she returned. Hard not to laugh with a man laughing at himself.
“I know it wasn’t any good for you. Jesus, I remember it to this day.”
She fought a blush. Goodness, but Felix really wanted a run down memory lane. She’d thought he wanted to discuss Brandon, but not the actual conception of Brandon.
“My first time was magical. But I rushed you, then I freaked out because I knew we shouldn’t have done anything. I knew the possibility was there you’d get pregnant.” He scowled at himself. “But no. I had to have you. And you went along because you cared about me.”
“I loved you.”
He nodded, regret clear on his face. “And I didn’t deserve it. I think I knew that deep down. But I took your affection anyway. Then, when you told me you were pregnant, I freaked. I immediately told Dan. Huge mistake, because he ratted me out to Mom. And then, well, you remember my mom.”
Unfortunately. “Yes.”
“She was going to make it all go away. I thought I could handle it, but when you wouldn’t have that abortion, I got mad.” He had the grace to look ashamed. “I wish I could take back the things I said.”
“And didn’t say,” she had to add. “When everyone was making things up about me, you said nothing.”
“At the advice of my counsel—Mom.” He snorted. “I swear. That woman has done more to control me and ruin my life than anyone. She wanted me to dump you. I dumped you. She wanted me to leave all the rumors alone, to say nothing. I didn’t say a thing. She wanted me to go to Harvard, like Dan. And I married the woman she picked out for me. Christ, I was a puppet, and she had her hand right up my ass.”
Joey cringed.
“Too much? Sadly, true.” He finally took a sip of his coffee. “But you know, through all of my mother’s manipulations, I couldn’t stop thinking about the child we’d created. A little boy.” The wonder on his face touched her. Deeply. And she wished it hadn’t. “I never hated you or thought you’d done anything to hurt me, Joey. That was all my mom’s talk. I loved you.” A quiet pause, and she wondered what he felt now, because the look he gave her worried her. “I knew you’d probab
ly never forgive me for bailing on you like I did. I had one moment where I almost changed my mind. But your father talked to me, told me to do the best thing for you and just go away. So I did.
“I signed your papers. I left you alone, married, divorced, finally told my mother to kiss my ass. But my biggest regret was walking away from you. Walking away from our son.”
Chapter 18
“You talked to my dad?” Joey hadn’t known about that.
Felix nodded. “I was seventeen. Not as young as you, but not yet an adult. I was a stupid kid who believed his own hype. And when it mattered, I feel like the adults in my life let me down. My mother only wanted what looked best for the family. Not what I needed.” He just looked at her. “She told me she’d never recognize Brandon as my son. And if I pursued this, she wouldn’t see me either.”
Joey didn’t know what to say.
“But I couldn’t live with myself anymore.” He groaned. “I went to school, got my fancy law degree, handled big-name divorce cases, ’cause, yeah, I finally did something I wanted. Family, not corporate, law. And I saw so many kids in a bad situation because of their parents. Rich assholes who fought about money, never about what really mattered.”
“Wow. You sound like the boy I once knew.”
He gave her a sad smile. “Took me a long time to grow a pair.”
“You said it.” She smirked.
He laughed, and a sense of camaraderie enveloped them. Until Joey reminded herself that this was about more than Felix apologizing.
He must have seen her wariness because he hurried to continue. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything I put you through.” He hesitated. “I brought you a check. Not to pay you off or insult you or to insinuate that money could ever make up for what I did to you. I brought the check to support my son. The child support you should have had all those years ago. But I’m afraid if I hand it to you, you might slap me or tell me to fuck off again.”
“I might.” She didn’t know about the money, but that he’d finally acknowledged he’d been wrong alleviated the buried anger she’d had for so long.
Felix sighed. “Was it really bad, Joey? I know the kids were cruel, but your parents were smart to take you out of school. Were they supportive? You mentioned they gave you a hard time. What was it like?”