by Noelle Adams
He was about to head back inside when he saw her garage door open. She must be leaving for work.
Giving up any fantasy of acting cool and nonchalant, he strode across the street and stood in her driveway.
She put her car in park when she saw him.
He was walking over to her when the car door opened and she got out. She wore a pair of black trousers that hugged her curves and her blue Dora’s shirt. She watched him soberly as he approached.
“Hey,” he said, smiling as if nothing was wrong. He felt a rising panic but kept telling himself there was no reason for it. “I wondered what happened to you.”
She took a shaky breath and just stared at him.
She looked scared, he realized. Instead of being offended or indignant, his heart went out to her. He reached up to stroke her face gently. “What’s the matter?”
Allison shook her head, her eyes wide and her expression deeply unsettling.
“Allison,” he murmured, pulling her into a soft hug. “Tell me what’s wrong. I thought last night was good.”
“It was good.” Her voice was slightly muffled by his shirt, since she was burrowing into him. “It was really good.”
She felt small and delicate and needy, and he tightened his arms around her. “So what’s the problem, then? Why did you run out on me?”
She hugged him back for a minute, obviously taking comfort in him, but then her body tightened as if she’d resolved herself. She pulled away. “I don’t know if I can…”
His heart dropped, although he’d kind of known what was coming from the moment he’d woken up and seen she was gone. “You don’t know if you can what?”
“I can’t…do this. I’m not ready.” She’d gotten her face under control, and he could tell this was what she’d been planning to say to him all along.
He fought back the panic that was surging up into his throat. This was wrong. This was all wrong. He and Allison were too good together. She seemed to really need him. She wasn’t anything like Dee or Marie. She wasn’t going to be a huge mistake waiting to happen. She wasn’t going to turn him into someone he didn’t want to be.
He took a breath and realized he could hardly spill all that to her as they stood in her driveway. It would only scare her even more. He had to make things feel safe for her, and he suddenly knew how he could do it. He gave her a little smile. “You’re not ready for what?”
“For this.” She gestured between the two of them with one hand. “For a…a…” She trailed off.
“A relationship?” he murmured, still giving her that same smile. “Who’s talking about a relationship?”
She blinked at him, clearly surprised.
He stepped closer but didn’t touch her. “We haven’t even been out on a date yet. Do you usually jump right into a relationship after one night?”
He could see her swallow, and her face was starting to clear—which was such a relief that he let out a breath. “Oh. Well, to tell you the truth, the only relationship I’ve ever had was with Arthur.”
He chuckled, feeling better now, like he could do this, like he could hold them together if he was careful enough. “That makes sense, then. We should take it slower and just see what happens. I know you’re still getting over your divorce. No one is asking or expecting a relationship.”
“So you want to…”
“Take things slow and see what happens.”
Her cheeks had been pale, but now they flushed slightly. She dropped her eyes. “Last night didn’t feel slow.”
“So we don’t have to have sex again until you want to. Why can’t we still hang out?’
She looked up at him quickly. “I don’t know. I just kind of thought…you’d…you’d want…more.”
He silently cursed himself for his stupidity last night in babbling on about how much he wanted to be married. It was true, and he’d felt safe telling her, but he’d known he shouldn’t let himself be seen as so needy and sentimental. She was thinking that was what he wanted with her.
Maybe it was. He didn’t even know. All he knew was he couldn’t let her slip out of his life. Not like this. Not so soon.
“More comes later,” he murmured. “All I want to do is spend more time with you and enjoy myself. No expectations. No relationship. What’s so scary about that?”
She blew out a breath, looking like she believed him. “I guess it’s not. Sorry if I overreacted. It’s strange to do this after a marriage like the one I had.”
“I totally get that. We can take this at any pace you want.”
“Are you sure? Because I haven’t lived here long, but it seems like as soon as two people go on one date, the whole town assumes they’re a couple and just waits for the engagement announcement.”
Rob gave an amused huff. “That is true. What if we don’t go out, then? In public, I mean. We live across the street from each other, so it won’t be hard to manage without everyone knowing we’re spending time together. I’m serious about this, Allison. I’m not putting any pressure on you. I just don’t want you to dump me for no good reason.”
She laughed softly, and he knew he’d convinced her. He felt better. Intensely relieved. And like he was in control once again.
He didn’t mind that she still had issues and hang-ups from her marriage. He kind of liked that she was vulnerable that way. It made him feel like she needed him, like he could really help her.
“I need to get to work,” she murmured.
“I know.” He leaned down to kiss her softly but pulled back quickly. “I better not do that when we’re out in your driveway.”
“Right.” Her eyes looked soft and sweet again, the way they had last night. “Good thinking.”
“What about if I come over tonight to your place? It’s a little neater than mine is. I’ll bring dinner.”
“You don’t have anything in your house that could pass for dinner.”
“I know how to pick up a pizza.”
She giggled again. “Okay. That sounds fine.” She paused. “You’re really okay with no relationship or anything serious? Because I don’t know if I can—”
“I just told you I was. What kind of men have you known, that you expect them to be disappointed when you tell them no strings attached?”
This was evidently the right thing to say. She laughed uninhibitedly and moved to get back into her car. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Actually, I’ll see you at breakfast.”
“Right. See you then.”
Rob watched her drive off in that ridiculous ancient Oldsmobile, and he felt better about the world. If he could keep her looking at him that way, he’d be perfectly happy.
—
Dora’s was fairly busy, so the day passed quickly for Allison. When she wasn’t focusing on work, she was thinking about Rob.
She’d been silly to blow the whole thing out of proportion. Rob had seemed completely fine with keeping things low-key and casual. She was actually a little embarrassed that she’d assumed he wanted a serious relationship. She had very little experience with men other than Arthur, but she knew enough to know that relationship talk was what usually scared guys away.
Rob must have thought she was crazy.
But things were settled between them now. He’d seemed quite happy at the end of the conversation, like he was getting just what he wanted. And now she could relax and just enjoy his company.
Maybe Vicki was right. Maybe she could just have a little fun while she was here and not worry about it just being temporary.
Rob didn’t seemed worried.
All in all, she was in a good mood when she came back from work. She had a couple of hours before Rob would get off work for the day, so she did some laundry, changed the sheets on her bed, and cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms.
She was settling down to work on a bracelet before he arrived when there was an unexpected knock on her door.
She glanced at the clock in surprise. It was just six. Rob usually worked until fi
ve thirty or six, and he had said he was going to pick up a pizza, so she hadn’t expected him until six thirty at the earliest.
She was smiling as she opened the door, but her smile froze on her face when she saw who was standing there.
Arthur. In one of his expensive suits. With a familiar arrogant smirk on his face. Holding a small cardboard box. His dark blue Mercedes was in the driveway.
She couldn’t do anything but stare for an embarrassingly long time.
“Well?” he demanded after a minute. “Am I to be invited in?”
And that gave her back her voice. “What are you doing here?”
“I brought over the jewelry accoutrements that you left at home. I thought perhaps you’d want them.” He nodded down toward the box of the more expensive items she’d purposefully left behind, as if he was being patient with her dimness. “May I come in?”
She cleared her throat, mostly to stall for time. “I guess.” She stepped aside to let him in, deeply wishing he was back in Charlotte or that she hadn’t opened the door. “Why didn’t you just send the stuff over to me? It’s a long drive just for that.”
“Is it beyond the realm of possibility that I would want to see how you’re doing?”
She took the box from him and placed it on a chair in the dining room. The card table was covered with her jewelry materials. “Yes,” she replied to his question. “It really is beyond the realm of possibility. I thought we said everything we had to say to each other.”
“We were married for eight years.”
“And we both know how that turned out.” She suddenly remembered what Vicki had told her about Arthur thinking she would crawl back to him. He must have wondered why she hadn’t. He must have wanted to see her life so he could confirm how unhappy she was and when she’d be returning to her cushy position as his wife.
A surge of anger overwhelmed her, momentarily blurring her vision. He’d come to judge her life. He’d come to show her what she was missing.
“I hadn’t expected this house to be so…” Arthur trailed off, his eyes scanning over the simple furnishings, the remaining emptiness of most of the walls and the corners of the dining room and living room, the outdated kitchen, the rickety card table that was passing for her work desk. “Depressing,” he concluded.
She stiffened her spine. “It’s not depressing. It’s very comfortable, and I’m much happier here than I was with you.”
“You can’t mean that.” He eyed her with that familiar patronizing expression, as if he were speaking to someone much younger and less intelligent than him.
“I do mean that. I’ve been doing really well here, and I’m quite happy.”
He shook his head. “You’re not made for small-town living. I understand your wanting to prove a point, but there’s really only so far you should take it.”
She was so angry her teeth almost snapped at him. “I’m not proving a point—certainly not to you. This is my life now, and I’m happy in it. I can make my own decisions. I can plan my own future. I can do what I want with my time. I don’t always have to worry about tiptoeing around your idiosyncrasies. I don’t have to feel like I’m always under the thumb of a spoiled, selfish, domineering asshole.”
Arthur didn’t show any anger. He never had. He just scanned her from head to toe with an icy distance, as if he noticed every flaw in her appearance, every insecurity in her soul.
She’d gained about five pounds since she’d divorced him, because she didn’t have time to work out like she used to. Today after work she’d wanted to look cute for Rob but not like she was trying too hard, so she’d changed into a pair of soft blue leggings and a pale gray tunic top a little nicer than the one she’d worn the day before. Her hair was loose and hanging down around her shoulders, and she didn’t have on much makeup.
Arthur probably thought she looked terrible, like her appearance was a sign that she’d been going downhill since she left him.
It didn’t matter. She told herself it didn’t matter. “You don’t get to control me anymore,” she snapped.
He gave his smug little laugh—the one she hated the most. “You don’t understand yet, do you? That’s what you want. Someone to control you. You’ve always been too soft and clingy. You need a man to take care of you. You’ll realize that soon enough, and you’ll end up right back in a strong man’s arms.”
The words hurt so much—and terrified her too, since part of her was afraid they were true—that her eyes started to burn with tears. “You have no idea what I need or what I want. Now get out of here, and don’t come back again.”
He just shook his head and laughed some more as he walked to the front door. “Play your little game. Act like you can take care of yourself. We both know it can’t last forever.”
He didn’t even give her time to respond. He opened the screen door and strode back to his fancy car.
She slammed the front door and leaned against it, gasping as she tried to get herself back under control.
He was wrong.
He was wrong about her.
Only he wasn’t entirely wrong—and that was what hurt the most. Just look how she’d clung to Rob as soon as he’d offered her a strong shoulder.
She was still leaning against the door five minutes later, trying to convince herself to forget about Arthur and not let him ruin her evening, when there was a knock on the door behind her.
It startled her so much she squealed and jerked around. “I told you to go—” she began angrily, wrenching open the front door.
Rob stood on her front stoop holding a pizza box, with a bottle of wine under one arm, frowning at her in concerned confusion.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” she said, horrified when a couple of tears trickled out of her eyes. She opened the screen door for him and took the pizza from his hands. “I’m so sorry.”
Rob moved the wine bottle to his hand and stepped inside. He looked over his shoulder at the street, still frowning. “Who was that here before in the fancy car?”
She sniffed and tried to surreptitiously wipe away her tears. “That was Arthur.” She turned her back on Rob under the pretense of putting the pizza box on the counter.
He set down the wine bottle and then turned her around to face him. “He made you cry.”
She flicked away the last tear and tried to smile. “Not really. He was a jerk, of course, but it’s mostly because he always knows how to hit at my insecurities.”
Rob’s brown eyes were still sober. “What insecurities?”
“Oh, I don’t know. That I can’t do this—do life—on my own. That I’m not good for anything but being a trophy wife.”
With a rough sound in his throat, Rob pulled her into a hug. “You’ve already proved him wrong about that. It doesn’t matter what he says.”
“I know it doesn’t,” she said, turning her head so her face wasn’t buried in his shirt. “I just didn’t expect to see him tonight.”
“Well, let’s not let him ruin the evening.”
“I won’t.”
He stroked her back, and she felt a lot better. Until she suddenly heard Arthur’s voice in the back of her head, telling her that she’d always need a man to cling to and she’d eventually end up back in a strong man’s arms.
She was clinging to Rob now. Literally. In his arms. She was letting him hold her because he felt so strong and safe and solid. Maybe she’d just moved from Arthur to Rob, and nothing was really different.
She pulled out of the hug, giving Rob a sheepish smile. “Sorry about the dramatics.”
“It’s fine. He shouldn’t just show up at your house that way.”
“I know. I would have thought the long drive would have stopped him.”
“Anyway,” Rob said with a smile, “let’s not dwell on him. Are you hungry?”
She smiled back. “I am.”
They took their pizza and wine to the living room and ate on the couch. Rob told her about his day and hassles with several wrong deliveries all happening
at the same time, and he ended up making Allison laugh.
She was genuinely enjoying herself when the pizza was gone and she was finishing her second glass of wine.
Arthur was wrong about her. She was doing just fine. She didn’t need him or his money to have a good time. She wasn’t relying on Rob to get her through life the way she’d always relied on Arthur.
“You’re thinking about him again,” Rob murmured.
She jerked her head up. “I’m sorry. It was just a passing thought.”
“It’s fine.” Rob was trying to catch her gaze, like he was peering into her soul. “Did you want to talk about it?”
She sighed and slumped back against the couch. “I don’t even know.”
He picked up the wine bottle and split the remaining wine between their glasses. “Were you in love with him when you got married?”
“I don’t know. I thought so—kind of. I was eighteen. What the hell did I know?”
“Your parents were okay with you going out with a guy his age?”
“He knew my dad from some business dealings, and that was right when my parents lost all their money. I think they were just relieved that I had the possibility of a comfortable life. They thought Arthur was a decent enough guy.”
“So did you really want to be with him, or did you just want the lifestyle?” Rob’s tone wasn’t judgmental. It was more like he was trying to understand.
“I really don’t know. I mean, I thought at the time that it was Arthur I wanted. He was attractive enough, and he really knew how to…how to romance a woman. He was all about the big romantic gestures. I guess I was kind of swept off my feet. I didn’t really know him, though. The more I got to know him, the more I realized it was a mistake.”
“Well,” Rob murmured over a sip of wine, “I can definitely understand making a mistake in marriage, fooling yourself into thinking it would work when there’s absolutely no foundation. It’s not that unusual a mistake, you know.”
She smiled at him, feeling better, like he really did understand. Maybe she wasn’t really as silly and stupid as she felt sometimes. Maybe everyone did foolish things, even though they should know better. “You got married at eighteen too? Isn’t that what you said?”