by Bea Paige
“Dick, Bitch,” I smile at each of them in greeting.
“You’ve got some nerve,” Red retorts, moving towards me. I stand, ready for her. Bram smirks, waiting for the fallout. I’m guessing he’s going to let his girlfriend do the work this time. Too much of a pussy to do it himself.
“What the fuck is your problem with me?” I don’t know why I ask Red that question, I’m not all that bothered about her response.
“My problem is that you think you’re above us all. You think that your shit don’t stink. You think just because you’ve got Ford and Sonny panting for you like dogs in heat that you’re safe. You’re not, Skank,” she snaps, her eyes blazing with fury… well jealousy, actually.
“Oh, I get it. You’re not the centre of attention anymore, is that it? Sonny got what he wanted the first day I arrived, and Ford’s never given you what you really wanted, has he? Especially now that he chucked you out of his crew. So it looks like you’re stuck with meathead here. Sucks playing second fiddle to someone who’s a far better option.”
“You lying little bitch,” Red snarls. When I glance at Bram, I know he knows what went down between Red and Sonny that day, he’s just too much of a coward to admit to it. His pride would be in tatters if he actually allowed himself to believe me. Instead he chooses to listen to the lies of his two-timing bitch of a girlfriend.
“We all know who the liar is here,” I retort, getting in her face. I feel the familiar storm swirling in my chest at the thought of what she helped Monk and Bram do. I’ll never get those sketches back. “The only skank who’s standing in this room is you!”
Red lifts her fist, pulling back, ready to punch me. But Bram grabs hold of her arm and yanks her backwards. “Not here, not now. It’s too hot. Mr Carmichael is watching us all way too closely at the moment. The guy’s cooking up something, let’s not get thrown in the mix, yeah?”
“I’m going to fucking kill her,” Red screeches in my face.
“I’d like to see you try,” I reply confidently, arching an eyebrow.
She spits in my face, the warmth of her spittle hitting my cheek, and even though I really want to fucking deck her right now, I don’t because behind her Mr Burnside appears. Kate’s standing beside him, her eyes wide. “You okay?” she mouths. I nod my head slightly to let her know I am.
“What appears to be the problem?” Mr Burnside asks, his gaze sliding between us both.
I wipe at the spit with the corner of my top, silently cussing Red. “Nothing, a misunderstanding. That’s all,” I lie.
“Red?” Mr Burnside asks.
“Yes, a misunderstanding,” Red bites out, keeping her gaze fixed firmly on me.
“If you apologise to Asia now, I won’t take it any further. But believe me, if I see behaviour like this between the two of you again, I won’t be so lenient,” Mr Burnside says.
Red grits her teeth, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.
“Say it, Red,” Bram mutters, his eyes narrowing at me.
Red snatches her arm from Bram’s hold and leans in close. “This ain’t over. You don’t take Ford from us and get away with it,” she whispers, before pulling back. “I apologise,” she says loud enough for Mr Burnside to hear, but we both know that it isn’t sincere.
“Good. Now you can go,” Mr Burnside adds.
Red spins on her heel and storms out of the rec room. Bram grunts, then follows her. Kate rushes over. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Never better,” I respond with a reassuring smile. “Shall we head up to my room. I don’t feel much like watching TV now.”
“Sure.”
“Actually, Mr Carmichael would like to speak with you, Asia,” Mr Burnside says, his face a mask.
“Why?” I’m instantly in defence mode, suspicious.
“Come with me, please,” he responds, not giving anything away.
“I’ll see you later, yeah?” Kate asks, she squeezes my arm briefly, giving me a sympathetic look. I wonder if she knows what this is all about, but the concern on her face tells me she doesn’t. Generally, when a student is called to Mr Carmichael’s office it isn’t for a nice chat about good behaviour. Fucking perfect.
“Asia, now if you wouldn’t mind.”
“I do actually,” I mumble, but I follow Mr Burnside anyway.
Instead of taking me to Mr Carmichael’s office like I thought he would, Mr Burnside walks me out the back of the main building and heads towards the car park behind the annex where Mr Carmichael is waiting for us.
“What’s this about?” I ask.
Mr Carmichael points to the wall he’s standing next to. On it is my name, my tag graffitied onto the wall in bright blue spray paint. What the actual fuck?
“Care to explain this?” he says.
“That piece of shit tag has nothing to do with me!” I exclaim. Whilst it’s actually fucking amazingly good, it’s about as far from my style as you can get and closer to someone else’s I know so well.
“It’s your name, and you’re the only graffiti writer here, Asia,” he insists.
“This is bullshit. Just because it’s my name doesn’t mean it’s my work. A tag is like a fingerprint, it’s unique. This wasn’t me.”
“Who then, if not you?” he looks at Mr Burnside, touching his arm gently. “I got this.”
Mr Burnside looks at me with an almost apologetic smile. “Just be honest,” he says, then leaves.
“I can’t have my school falling into disrepute, Asia. There’s been too much going on lately that needs addressing and for some reason it all seems to centre around you.”
“This wasn’t me!” I repeat. “Do you honestly think that I would do this knowing I could get thrown out of Oceanside and chucked into juvie for it? Despite what everyone seems to think, I’m not a complete fucking idiot.”
“No, you’re not an idiot. I actually think you’re extremely bright.”
“Then why accuse me of something that has nothing to do with me?”
“You want the truth?” he asks me.
“Yes, I want the truth.” I fold my arms across my chest defensively. Here we go.
“I don’t think you would, but I need to know who did and why.”
“Take your fucking pick,” I snap back. I know exactly who did this. This reeks of Camden, of Bling, but I don’t give that away. I won’t.
“What do you mean by that?”
“You said it yourself; all the shit that’s going on here centres around me apparently. Hazard a guess. It could be any of the arseholes here.” And it’s true, even though I know who did this, bar a handful, any one of the people here could’ve been capable. Fuck knows what I did to deserve this… Oh, yeah, wait. Camden drew a line in the sand before I even arrived here.
“But you have an idea?” he presses.
“No. No, I don’t have any idea,” I lie. “So, if that’s all?”
“Protecting people who’ve wronged you isn’t brave, Asia, it’s cowardly. Tell me who did this. Tell me who hit you,” he says looking directly at my chin and the fading bruise that’s clearly not as well covered as I’d thought.
“I fell out of bed,” I shrug.
“Like Monk escaped Oceanside and got mugged?”
I don’t answer. I’ve learnt that sometimes it’s better that way.
Mr Carmichael sighs, then motions to someone behind me. “This needs to be cleaned off. Bobby has the stuff you’ll need to do that.”
“Here we go,” Bobby says, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. He dumps a bucket, a scrubbing brush, gloves and some cleaning solution by my feet then looks at me and winks. The filthy bastard.
“You want me to clean that off even though you and I both know I didn’t do it? How the fuck is that fair?”
“It isn’t,” Mr Carmichael retorts. “But do you know what else isn’t fair? My job, this school being on the line because not one person is brave enough to speak up.” He’s angry, real angry. I get it, but this is just the way
it is. He, of all people, should know that.
“No one is going to talk. You know the score, Mr Carmichael. You know if you want retribution you have to deal with it yourself. That’s the rule of the street. It won’t change no matter how much you want it to. You took the law into your own hands. You understand how it works, don’t you?”
“I want it to be different, Asia. I couldn’t save my brother, but maybe I can help save some of you?”
“Save us? You know as well as I do, that’s an impossibility. Wake the fuck up, Mr Carmichael.”
He grits his teeth reigning in his anger before sighing heavily. “I’m not an idiot, Asia. I see what’s happening and it will stop.”
I bark out a laugh. “This is a school filled with criminals, delinquents,” I spit that word out like the dirty thing it is. “You’re going to have a battle on your hands trying to get this group of arseholes in line. Poke the lion and it’ll rip you to shreds,” I retort. Refusing to give him any more of my time, I bend down and pick up the rubber gloves, forcing them on my hands.
“Not on my watch, Asia. Things are going to change around here. I’ve been way too lenient,” he mutters, almost to himself. Then to Bobby he says, “Once this is cleaned off, make sure you escort Miss Chen to my office. There’s a few more things we need to discuss before the day is out.”
“It would be my pleasure,” Bobby responds. I bet it would.
“Fuck this shit,” I grind out under my breath.
“Oh, and Bobby,” Mr Carmichael says, stopping by his side.
“Yes?”
“When I’m done with Asia, you and I are going to need to have a discussion.”
With that Mr Carmichael strides off leaving Bobby shitting a brick. Serves the fucker right. I don’t like him. I hope he gets fired even if that does mean no more trips to the Tower.
For the next couple of hours, Bobby alternates between perving over me and pacing up and down whilst I scrub the wall clean. By the time I’m finished my arms are aching and my back is sore, any evidence of the tag all but gone.
“Good job, Asia. Scrubbing seems to be your forte,” Bobby says, laughing, his gaze raking over me greedily. He steps towards me, leaning in a little too close as he bends down and picks up the bucket, spilling a little of the cleaning solution as he does so.
“Back off, perv,” I snap, sidestepping him. “Haven’t you got a story to put together so Mr Carmichael doesn’t fire your arse for being an incompetent prick?”
He laughs again but with less bravado this time. “You just keep scrubbing and let me worry about that,” he smirks, a puff of foul-smelling breath floating over me. I gag, pulling off my gloves before throwing them on the ground just as Camden rounds the corner. He’s smoking a spliff like he hasn’t got a care in the world. He looks between Bobby and me but doesn’t even bother to hide the fact he’s smoking a joint on school grounds.
Leaning against the far end of the wall he nods to Bobby.
“Put that out,” Bobby grunts.
“Or what? You’ll snitch on me?”
“Yes.”
“Like fuck you will. Imagine what Mr Carmichael would have to say about how you’ve been turning a blind eye around here. Back off, old man,” Camden retorts, scowling.
To my surprise, Bobby does just that. He backs up with the cleaning equipment.
“I thought you were supposed to be escorting me to Mr Carmichael’s office?” I ask him, not particularly wanting to leave with him, but not willing to be left alone with Camden either. Lesser of two evils and all that.
“You’re not quite done. Reckon you’ll be finished in say… ten?” he asks, glancing at Camden for approval.
“That’s about right,” Camden agrees, pulling on the last dregs of his spliff before stomping it under foot. Bobby nods, gives me one last leery look, then walks off leaving me alone with the one person I really don’t want to deal with today.
34
“I take it I have you to thank for this bullshit?” I say, scratching at my forearms. Some of the solution has splashed onto my skin and it itches like a whore with crabs.
Camden strolls towards me. He’s got that spaced out look you get when you’re high, and a lazy smile pulls up his lips. “Did you like it?” he asks.
“You’re a dickhead! I thought you don’t play games?”
“You moved the goalposts. Shit has changed.” He shrugs, as though what he’s done isn’t a big. But he isn’t fooling me, I saw the glimpse of regret in his eyes. Not that it matters now. His actions have a reaction, this anger is mine.
“What do you mean, I’ve moved the goalposts? I haven’t done anything except try to keep my head down and survive this place!”
“You’ve been doing way more than just that.” He barks out a laugh, too fucking high to keep his shit together. How much fucking Mary-J has he had? More to the point, why is he getting shitfaced during the middle of the day? He’s normally so put together.
“You’re fucking wasted. Go away,” I say, giving him a look of disgust before turning on my heel.
“Don’t you dare turn your back on me. I’m the fucking one you obey. Me, not Ford.”
“Ford? I don’t obey Ford and I sure as shit won’t obey you. Ever,” I growl, refusing to look at him.
“That’s not what I heard. Pretty sure he fucking owns you now,” Camden snaps back.
“What did you just say?”
“You heard me. The prick has you by the short and curlies, doesn’t he? Quite literally. ”
My face flushes red, heat prickling my skin and rising up my chest and neck as I spin on my feet. “Shut-up. You don’t know shit,” I retort angrily, shoving my fingers into his chest.
“I know enough. I have eyes everywhere, Asia. Every-fucking-where,” he grinds out, his eyes narrowing at my hand pressed against his chest.
“What I choose to do and who I choose to do it with is up to me, Camden. Do I need to spell it out to you? I don’t need your permission to do jack shit.”
His head snaps up, the kind of languid heaviness in his limbs from the marijuana suddenly disappearing. “One of these days, you will be mine, Asia.”
Something about the conviction of his words has me trembling but not with fear, with something far more unnerving. “Fuck you, Camden, or should I say Bling? You’re all mouth. You don’t rule me, and you never fucking will.”
He steps closer, shaking his head. “Don’t test me, Asia. Don’t. I could hurt you.” It’s a warning, a threat even. The thing is, he doesn’t seem happy about it. If anything, he looks resigned.
“Then do it! Fucking do it, Camden. Stop talking about it and get on with it. But let me tell you something, there is nothing, nothing that you can do to scare me. I can deal with your little lap dog Monk. I can deal with your little girls. I can deal with your threats. You cannot break me!”
“You don’t fucking get it, do you?” He slams his fist into the brick wall. His fist splits, blood seeping from the wound.
“No. No, I don’t get it.” And I really don’t. Why can’t he just let it go?
“This is the law of the street, Asia. This is the law we live by. Honour. Respect. Retribution.”
“Not me. I’ve never lived by those rules,” I lie.
“Yes, you do, and you know it. There are no white picket fences for the likes of us. This place here, it’s a fucking pipe dream, papering up the cracks, trying to mould us into something we’re not. You know as well as I do that it’s too late for us. There’s no changing even if we wanted to. We’ll go back to Hackney and slide right back into the roles we left behind. Even here, we can’t hide from them. I can’t hide.”
“You want to?” I ask, taken aback from his admission.
“Fuck!” he exclaims, running a hand over his face. “There’s no hiding, no running. There’s nothing good, not for the likes of me.”
“You can make a different choice. It doesn’t have to be that way.” But even as I say the words, I know they’re
a lie. He’s right. Of course, he’s right. I might have told Mr Carmichael that I don’t follow the rules on the street, but I’ve lived on the fringes of them my whole life. I have my position in the order of things, just like Camden does.
“The only choice I was able to give you was back in Hackney when I offered you a place in my crew. You turned me down, but worse than that, you made a fool of me in front of my people. Then I come here, reveal who I really am, and it still doesn’t make a difference. You turned me down a second time.” Genuine hurt passes over his features and it throws me. Why does he care so much? I shake my head, refusing to let him get to me.
“What the fuck else was I supposed to do? Roll over because you’re someone I once admired? Thank you for setting Monk on me? Back down like a good little girl,” I seethe. He winces, my words having the desired effect. Good.
“I told you I didn’t have anything to do with his shit! Jesus, Asia, I knocked the prick out for you. I allowed you retribution, payback and now my crew is screwed up over it. Now my name is mud!”
“Why fucking bother if you dislike me so much?” I ask, but he talks over me, raging now.
“And after all that, you still chose him.”
I laugh. I can’t help it. I laugh so hard that tears of mirth, or maybe hysteria, spring from my eyes. “Really? I wouldn’t have needed to seek Ford’s help if you hadn’t set Monk on me. He’s had my back this whole time. Whilst you… you forced my hand. I had no choice. None.”
“How many more times do I have to say it?”
“Stop with the bullshit, Camden. Admit it, you set Monk on me. You did all of that!”
“No.”
“You’re a liar!” I scream, not giving a shit now, as if I ever did before.
Camden flinches and despite the marijuana his body is tense, wound tight. He’s the complete opposite of relaxed now. Blowing out a long steady breath, Camden does something that surprises me. He reaches up and cups my cheek, brushing the pad of his thumb against my bottom lip. He’s gentle, so very gentle and I don’t know what to make of it.
“When I heard you were sent here, I contacted Monk. I might have told him to make sure you knew I was watching, even from afar.” His topaz eyes flash with anger even though his touch remains gentle. “But I swear to you. Monk went rogue. What he did; hunting you down with his wolves, fucking with your art, that wasn’t down to me.” His hand drops away, his shoulders hunching over a little.