He tasted me, drank from my lips, then covered them entirely with a soul deep kiss that I felt right down to my trembling toes. When he gripped onto my bottom with both of his hands, the water swished away, leaving nothing between us. I whimpered again from the delightful friction, unable to ignore the rigidness pressed against my middle.
I slipped my hand between us, his silent praise mounting my desire at a ravenous pace. I was becoming borderline obsessive and, unable to restrain myself, I wrapped my legs around his waist, ignoring the faint unease that had settled in the back of my mind. It was more than sex. At least it was for me.
When Edwin finally edged himself inside of me, I panted, swept into a mindless climax. He nuzzled my face and held me close, my body quivering around him, as I surrendered to my desire. With a soft breath, he inched a little deeper.
"Are you okay?"
I lowered my head to his shoulder to regain my voice, but only giggled erotically. I ran my fingers through his sexy, wet hair and pressed my lips against his, selfishly wanting more of him. My entire body trembled as he dipped deeper yet. Then he spun me around and plugged me in to the pool wall.
When his body collided against mine, it sent repetitive earth-shattering vibrations through me. I moaned with each pleasure-filled thrust and it echoed over the snowy hillside. The deeper he plunged, the stronger my yearning grew, but the water posed a great barrier. Edwin pulled back, and stopped our vigorous kiss. He can’t stop now!
"What do you say we take this inside?"
I glanced back at my robe, but couldn't fathom the thought of leaving his arms for the cold. My body was already shaking. Was it from the cold or everything else? I didn’t know.
Edwin recognized my concern and chuckled softly, as he withdrew our connection and lifted that glorious body out of the pool, with one foot. "I want you inside," he ordered.
I was mesmerized by the sight of his wet, rigid muscles, and the promise in his deep voice. Suffering from withdrawal already, I swam straight for my robe and wrapped myself up, making a dash for the pool house. Edwin was already lounged back on his elbows on a wooden-slat bench when I got inside. His stare instantly seared my frozen nerves, his own excitement deceiving his cool composure as it tried to escape from his parted robe.
Regaining my own composure, I let my robe slip down my arms, until it dropped to the floor. I stood motionless for a moment, giving Edwin time to get his fill. Then I approached him and sprawled over his lap, my knees resting on either side of him. My hands edged inside the front of his robe, my lips touching his smooth, flat chest.
Edwin closed his eyes and smirked. "You only want me for my body."
My smile was even more devious. “Is that a problem?" I pressed myself against him and he returned the gesture with a kiss that sent shivers all over me.
Edwin was boiling inside his robe, so I yanked it open exposing the rest of that sculpted muscle. He groaned when my soft, cold skin touched him and I whimpered as he lifted me off of him. He swiftly removed his robe and laid it over the warm, wooden bench. Then I crawled onto it and glanced at him over my shoulder. He backed away to have another look.
His naked body never failed to mollify my resistance, as his desirous smile shattered my insecurities. Edwin stood over me with an impenetrable stare until his body collided with mine, and he entered me, fully erect. I rolled my head back, taking all of him, as he held onto my hips and repetitively stoked my desire.
Reaching a hand around me, his fingers slipped between my legs and he circled my pleasure zone with the perfect amount of pressure. It felt too good, so fast.
"I'm not on birth control right now,” I blurted, with my hands still clamped onto the bench beneath me. “Please tell me you have a condom."
Edwin increased his pace, causing my desire to overwhelm me. I couldn’t hold on any longer.
"Tell me I'm the only one," Edwin grunted, with his pelvis violently slapping against me.
"You're the one," I breathed, as tears sprang from my eyes. And before I could win against the urge to stop him, mind-blowing tremors sensually ripped through my entire body disconnecting me from reality.
Edwin groaned as my body convulsed around him, pulling him over the edge with a final pump. Seismic waves of pleasure filled me, as Edwin held on and gave me all of him. Then he dropped his spent body over mine and I flattened beneath the weight of his large frame, feeling completely satisfied.
When I turned my head sideways and rested it on my hands, Edwin lifted his heavy chest and stared into my eyes, breathless and vacant. Then he dropped a soft peck on my lips and peeled himself off of me, heading straight for the shower. After drying my sweaty, love soaked body with a towel, I pulled on my robe and walked over to the window for a distraction.
Edwin's naked body in the open shower did nothing to help wind down my sex drive, so I focused on the hills of glistening snow and heavy evergreen braches. Everything seemed so peaceful and wonderful, like the emotions crowding my heart.
Edwin wants me and he wants to give me babies. I was so joyful I wanted to cry.
When the water stopped running, I turned back to Edwin. He had already wrapped a towel around his waist and was running a small towel through his spiky hair. As he steadily approached me, my heart skipped a beat and then another. He dipped his head and kissed me.
"It's all yours, babe."
Reluctantly, I left him and hustled over to the shower. While I rinsed my hair, I noticed how he too had set up shop in front of the window. My eyes continued to drift back to him, while he stared out into the distant forest. It was like he was miles away, lost in his own mind. A violent chill struck me. Please tell me he isn't having second thoughts already.
I cranked off the hot water, dried myself and scurried to my pile of clothes. After pulling them on in a rush, I finger combed my hair and scrubbed it as dry as possible. Edwin hadn't moved a muscle for minutes. I was scared stiff. I slowly approached his chair and placed my hands on his shoulders. I glanced out the window, trying to find what he was looking at. Nothing had changed.
"It's beautiful out there, huh?" I asked.
There was a deafening silence. "Huh? Oh. Right. Yeah, it is."
I had just poured my heart out and made love to him, but he didn’t seem too interested to share his feelings. In fact, he hadn’t reciprocated anything but sexual desire. When my conscience caught up with me, I had to escape. The silence became irritating.
“I'm going to head back to the guesthouse." I turned away and grabbed my jacket, expecting to go alone.
Edwin stood up instantly and it caught me off guard. "I'll come with you," he said, acting baffled by the suggestion but sharing little else.
I slipped on my boots and we left the pool house together. The wind was now brutally cold and, in the short time it took to round the house, my hair had already turned to ice. Snow was being viciously whipped around like a cloud of dust in a storm. I couldn't lose the shivers and my teeth started to chatter.
Not only did Edwin not acknowledge the cold, but he didn't seem to notice that I was shaking like a leaf either. I stared into the forest as we slowly crept down the hill and full, heavy flakes of snow began to plummet from the sky. Frustration gnawed at my insides as I silently scooped up the keys off the dash.
When Edwin pressed the brake, I swung my door open and went straight inside. After tossing the keys on the kitchen counter, I hung up my coat and shivered from the eerie chill in the room. The fireplace had been turned off and the heat was turned much too low, but instead of kicking it back on, I ran to the bed and wrapped up in the blankets.
Moments later, I heard the rumble of Edwin’s engine as he pulled away from the cabin. If it were time or space that he needed, I would give it to him. Not that I had much choice in the matter. Despite telling myself that it would be okay, that didn't stop the onset of my heartache and the debilitating mental anguish that hounded me.
I surrounded myself with pillows and soft, fluffy blankets, but i
t didn't shake the void emerging in my chest. I felt like I had flattened out on the bed and let Edwin cut open my chest with a knife. Then, after slicing open my heart, he sewed me back up like that. I lied in the bed, immobilized, feeling destroyed. My blood oozed internally, trapping all of my love for Edwin inside of me.
The bed was unable to offer me the warmth I so desperately sought. I inwardly cried, near hysteria, but outwardly I denied myself the release. Crying wouldn't change anything.
I forced my eyes shut and demanded that my brain shut down for a nap, but reminders of my plans for marriage first, baby later, ran rampant in my thoughts. Tell me I'm the only one, Edwin whispered in my thoughts. You're the one.
Why had I believed something really special had happened in that moment? If our relationship was truly over, I needed know that so I could redirect my feelings toward something more sensible and relevant. I groaned out loud, feeling like a failure, my body and mind battling it out.
With a glance out the tall window next to the bed, I noticed that the snow had picked up significantly, darkening the afternoon sky. A tremor rocked through me just thinking about the cold. I needed to think of warm thoughts. I needed to feel Edwin’s big, warm arms wrapped around me. I needed to hear him growling sweet nothings in my ear. His smile could mend my throbbing heart. I need that. I need him.
Any hope of returning to a happy place was shattered when a disturbing memory crept ahead of those thoughts. The memory reeled before my eyelids, giving me another stab of guilt. Edwin had just realized that I was going to Cameron's for the Christmas holidays and despite his disappointment, I was so very happy. Cameron made me feel that kind of happy.
I don't want you to go, Edwin had said. Are you sure this is what you want?
I was so sure that Cameron was the one. I even told Edwin so. I still remembered how Edwin shuddered when I said the L word. But I loved Cameron.
My memories fast forwarded through every moment when Edwin had put me on the spot and I went against every chance he offered me. How could I expect him to take me back now? It was times like this that I wished I didn’t have such a crisp, photographic memory.
Another hour of reminiscing came and went. Still, Edwin was gone. I hated myself for acting out on my silly fantasies, when I should have stayed true to myself. Giving in to my sexual urges, I had forced myself on Edwin, knowing that I had quit taking birth control over a month ago. Edwin knew he could have gotten me pregnant too, but that didn’t stop him.
I could be pregnant now!
***
I OPENED MY EYES to pitch blackness. I couldn't see a thing and I started to feel paralyzed with fright. I heard a rap on the window next to me. When I turned my head, I remembered being in the guesthouse. Alone. It was dark outside, but an even darker silhouette slowly passed by the window in the direction of the front door. Had I remembered to lock it?
Fear swallowed me whole when I remembered leaving it open for Edwin. My heart beat so loud, I couldn't hear anything over it except for the terrifying tapping sound on the skylight. Dark shadows cascaded across the ceiling of the living room. It was only tree branches, I told myself, to stop from having a mental breakdown.
When the floor creaked near the door, a chill attacked my body and I was sure I would lose my mind from the endless charade of unexplainable noises. Then a sudden loud thump sounded around the corner. Startled, I let out a scream. Crouched in the corner of the bed in terror, I reached for my cell phone and texted Edwin. I stared at the screen, silently pleading for help, but there was no reply.
In need of protection, I yanked a cord from the wall and pulled the large, decorative lamp from the nightstand. There was nowhere to hide. I urgently dialed Edwin’s number.
"Come on, Eddie. Pick up your phone," I begged. It rang once and went straight to voicemail.
When I heard his voice, even if it was only a message, it returned me from the brink of delirium. I slid my back up the pile of pillows until I was propped against the headboard. I lifted myself up so I could see if there was anyone or anything in the other room, still clutching the rounded lamp. My eyes scattered over the room, but I couldn’t see anything. Then I heard the door creak shut.
If I hadn't been holding my breath, I wouldn't have even heard the soft footsteps approaching, sounding like that of a small child pattering across the floor. But then a heavy thud broadcast only inches from my feet. I quickly pulled my knees to my chest and hugged onto the lamp like it was my lifeline.
An unsettling energy roiled through the room and it felt like it was sinking into my skin. My anxiety devoured me, as I anticipated who or what was at the foot of my bed. I squeezed my eyes shut, foolishly believing that the danger couldn't see me if I couldn't see it. After an extended silence, my fright-filled eyes flashed open to see what was clawing at the blanket.
I shuffled higher on the bed, just as the blanket jerked away and landed on the floor with a soft thump. I held onto the lamp preparing myself to strike. I stared at the foot of the bed, waiting for the threat to show itself. Nothing.
"Show yourself!" I hollered, my voice but a quivering rasp. My eyes deceived me as they darted to the end of the bed. There she was.
Jenny’s red, shining eyes peered over the edge of the bed, demanding my attention like I was being hexed. My own eyes watered and burned as I stared at her without blinking. She slowly crawled onto the bed and inched toward me like she was preparing to slaughter me alive. I dared her to move another inch. I would smash that lamp so hard off her head that she would die for real this time.
My lips trembled, as I wound up for the strike. "Don't move," I whispered.
She froze at my feet and then there was a clunk in the other room.
"EDWIN!" I screamed.
By the time my voice stopped ringing, Edwin called back to me. “I’m here!” He leapt to his feet and hit a switch. The light flashed on and relief washed over me, as Edwin territorially scanned over the room. But there was no one there.
Edwin swiftly came to my side. I tugged the blanket close to my chin and stared at the foot of the bed. I thought that blanket had fallen on the floor. Unnerved, I tossed the blanket away from me like it was on fire. My breaths were fast and irregular as I stared at the emptiness at the end of the bed, feeling very confused.
Edwin grabbed both of my shoulders and gently shook my traumatized body. "What's wrong, Abs? Talk to me."
I didn’t answer.
He wrapped his arms around mine and crushed me against his hard chest. He held me for a long time, until my breathing began to regulate and the rapid thud of my heart matched his. My mind was a bit slower to return to reality.
When Edwin finally released me, I stared into his eyes, hoping to find my answers. It was like I was lost somewhere between dream and reality, and I was having a hard time differentiating between the two. Since Edwin is fully clothed, I’m going to guess that this is reality.
"Where were you just now?" My voice was shaky and low.
"I was sitting on the couch."
"In the dark?"
"There was light from the fire. I didn’t want to wake you."
I turned my head and saw that the fireplace made light flicker across the ceiling. I spun around to look for the lamp. It was nestled on the table as if it were never touched. My head started spinning. Edwin gently pressed me back against the pillow.
"You should lie down. I don't want you passing out on me again."
Huh? I dug my fingers into my forehead, trying to flatten the deep lines of confusion. "It was so real."
"It was just a nightmare."
"How long was I out for?" I asked softly, not believing it entirely.
"It's been hours. I let you sleep. I figured you must have been really tired, what with last night and everything." Edwin shuffled to the edge of the bed. "You must be starved. Let me get you something to eat.”
When he went to stand up, I frantically yanked him back down. "Take me with you," I begged.
"I
was only going to the kitchen." He didn't understand.
"Please?" I could see the worry when it crept back into his eyes, then it quickly vanished.
"That must have been some nightmare."
I hooked myself around Edwin's torso and held onto his arm. He walked me to the kitchen, where I reluctantly released him to take a seat at the spacious island. Edwin stepped around me to retrieve a takeout container from the fridge. While he emptied the food onto a plate, I slowly peered toward the bed, then feverishly examined the floor to beat the fear that someone or something was still lurking there.
"There's nothing there," Edwin insisted.
"I know." But my words were so weak, they spoke for themselves.
The microwave dinged and Edwin pulled out my steaming meal. He gave it a stir, then rested the dish in front of me. "Here. You can eat first and explain later."
I took a bite of my pasta and it burned my lip. I not-so-attractively spit a mouthful back into the bowl. "Where did you go this afternoon? I waited for what seemed like forever.”
Edwin’s eyes crinkled at the sides, but he remained totally serious. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I rolled my eyes and, after blowing on my linguine, I scarfed it down. Edwin remained standing the entire time, his hip cocked to the side, resting against the counter. His arms were folded across his broad chest, his shirt straining against his flexed biceps, making it difficult for me to concentrate on anything but those rippling muscles.
Trying to avoid the fact that I was losing my mind, I dumped the leftovers into the garbage. Edwin rushed over to me and helped me to the couch like I was an elderly lady. I peeked out the corner of my eye as we passed the bedroom, but there was still nothing there. Edwin even let me believe that he hadn’t caught me checking this time.
I took a seat across from the toasty fireplace, where I could feel the warmth fanning over me. Edwin sat next to me, his rigid muscles toying with my mind. Any closer and he would have been sitting on my lap. But I had to protect my heart. I shimmied away from him, to the far corner of the couch, then raised my arm over the back of it and turned my attention to him.
A Twist of Fate (The Twisted Trilogy) Page 19