Jake's Bride (Search For Love)

by Karen Rose Smith

  #

  Sunday afternoon, the doorbell rang. Sara stood at the bottom of the stairs and heard the low vibrations of Jake's baritone voice as he put Christopher down for his nap. There was no point interrupting a ritual that was becoming precious to father and son.

  Sara went to the door and opened it. A tall man stood there. She'd guess he was in his sixties from the wrinkles on his face and the silver in his dark hair, though his well-kept physique in an oxford shirt and jeans made him look younger.

  "Hello there, young lady. You must be the gal who left the message."

  "No, I'm--"

  He didn't seem to hear her as he smiled sheepishly and kept going, restrained excitement buzzing all around him. "I was out of town on business. Just got back this morning. Sorry to bother you but there was no way I could wait till tomorrow to talk to Jake."

  "Why don't you come in, Mr...."

  "Just call me Harv." He took Sara's hand and pumped it up and down. "The message said Jake got a lead on Bernadette. I can't believe I'm finally going to set eyes on her after all these years. Just imagine. I don't know if Jake told you, but we were high school sweethearts."

  It didn't seem to matter that Sara hadn't left the message for Harv. He probably thought she was Gillian. He was so excited about what Jake had discovered, nothing else seemed to matter.

  "We went to school together in Houston. Who would've thought Jake would find her back East."

  "You've been looking for a long time?"

  "Actually, no. I just got up the gumption a few months ago and didn't know where to start. It was my fault we lost touch. I shipped out with the army. She wrote and I never wrote back. Damn, I was young and stupid and wild. Didn't want to be tied down, I thought."

  "Well, Harv, I'm glad you're on your way to finding her."

  "I'm unattached now. Been a widower seven years. I just hope she's free, too."

  "I hope you find what you're looking for."

  "If I find Bernadette, she's all I need."

  "I know Jake's good at what he does. If anyone can find her, he can."

  "Hello, Harv." Jake had come up behind Sara without her knowing it. "Let's go into my office."

  Jake's tone dismissed her. He was going to have to accept the fact she wasn't easily dismissed. "It was good to meet you, Harv. I hope you find Bernadette." She went to the kitchen to start a pot roast for supper.

  With the roast in the oven, Sara decided she had enough time to make an apple pie. She'd cut and peeled six cups of apples when Jake appeared in the kitchen doorway. She could tell he was thinking about something, about how to put it to her. He always got that little line on his forehead before he gave her bad news.

  Although every nerve in her body was alive and shouting that he was in the same room, she folded the pie shell in quarters and lifted it onto the top of the apples.

  "You shouldn't have talked to Harv the way you did."

  She left the pie shell lay. "Excuse me?"

  Jake kept his distance but jabbed his hands into his pockets. The gesture pulled the already snug jeans even snugger. "Harv is my client."

  Trying to ignore the heat creeping up her cheeks, she said, "I know that."

  "I give my clients facts. I don't raise their hopes needlessly."

  "I don't understand. He said you had a lead. He said you knew Bernadette was back East..."

  "Yes, I have a lead. That's all I have. You pumped him up, and now he thinks they're going to be reunited. Even if I do find her, what if she wants no part of him?"

  "He was already pumped up when he rang the doorbell. All I did was--"

  "Pump him up more. I run my business a certain way, Sara. Stay out of it, okay?"

  She glared at him, thoroughly annoyed. "You can poke into my life and tell me not to take a job, but I can't go near your clients? Does that sound reasonable to you?"

  Jake stood firm. "Yes. One has to do with our son's welfare, the other one doesn't."

  She felt like turning that pie upside down on his stubborn head. "You know, Jake, your rules make sense to you, they don't make sense to me. Maybe you should give me a list, the parts of your life that are safe for me to talk about, the areas I should stay away from."

  "Don't be ridiculous."

  Slowly and deliberately, she said, "I don't think I'm the one being ridiculous."

  Jake took his hands from his pockets. "This is business. I give my clients factual information, and I don't feed their emotions. I find too many dead ends, and I will not give false hope."

  "All I did was make conversation!"

  His brown eyes were hard. "All you did was interfere. I had to bring Harv back to earth."

  She turned back to the pie and opened the folded shell to give her hands something to do. "Fine. I'll stay away from your clients. When the doorbell rings, I won't answer it. Unless, of course, I have your permission. All right, captain?"

  "Sara..."

  She didn't meet his gaze but crimped the edges of the pie shells, hurt edging out the annoyance she'd first felt.

  The phone rang in Jake's office. She felt him hesitate, then move away to answer it. He was effectively trying to keep her pigeonholed, to think of her only in association with their son. There was nothing she could do about that but live with it until Jake decided he wanted her in the rest of his life. She could be waiting a long time.

  #

  After reviewing his notes, Jake pushed his chair away from his desk. Harv's former sweetheart didn't drive and apparently didn't work. That made it harder to trace her. He'd found a record of her marriage to a Pennsylvania insurance salesman and the death certificate of that husband. But that's all he'd found. He had a contact on the East Coast checking real estate records. That's all he could do for now.

  He heard the buzzer go off on the oven. A few minutes later, Sara went up the stairs, probably to get Christopher up from his nap. Jake sighed. He couldn't take a breath without thinking about her. She was complicating his life, stirring up feelings, let alone hormones he'd thought were inactive, if not dead. They were active all right and very much alive. Confusing as hell. He'd almost kissed her again the other night, and it wouldn't have been any kind of test. Then he remembered what she'd done. He'd remembered that she'd walked out without telling him the truth.

  But he still couldn't stay away from her. He definitely couldn't stay away from his son. He shut down the computer and went up to Christopher's bedroom.

  Christopher had just awakened. His hair stood up in spikes as he rubbed his eyes. Sara sat on the edge of the bed, picking up books that were scattered at the foot. Before Christopher fell asleep in the afternoons, she let him page through his favorites. Jake marveled at the way she could teach without words, the simple things she did to evoke Christopher's curiosity or instill a good habit. Her son didn't realize it, but Sara was doing everything she could to prepare him to read.

  Finally Christopher yawned and scrambled onto his mother's lap. "Where's your smile, Mommy?"

  The little boy's question made Jake feel guilty. Sara's nature was bubbly and cheerful. Especially around her son, she smiled a lot and laughed. Right now laughter seemed to be a world away and Jake suspected that had to do with their conversation.

  He entered the room and didn't wait for Sara to answer. Conspiratorially, he stooped down to Christopher and whispered in his ear, "I think she left it down in the kitchen next to the pie she took out of the oven. Want me to go get it?"

  Christopher nodded solemnly. "Uh huh."

  "All right. I'll be right back."

  Jake galloped down the steps, went into the kitchen, took a quick glance around and picked up a potholder. Then he climbed the steps again and went into his son's room, holding the quilted square on his palm in front of Sara. "There it is, Ma'am. Already to put on. It must have fallen off when you opened the oven door." Jake hadn't spouted such silliness in a long time, not since he used to tease and play with Davie. He waited for the familiar stab of pain. It didn't come.
>
  Sara didn't look quite so serious as she played along with his silly scenario and said to Christopher, "Well, look at that smile. I didn't even realize it had fallen off."

  When she switched her attention from her son to Jake, he saw the hurt still lingering in her eyes. He never expected his criticism would bother her so much.

  Laying the potholder gently on her lap, he said, "Whenever you're ready. I miss your smile, too."

  Her gaze questioned him, searching for sincerity. She must have found it because she pretended to lift something from the potholder. She held it to her mouth, smoothing first over her top lip, then the bottom one. Her playful gesture was sensual without her knowing it.

  Then she smiled and gave Christopher a hug. "Is that better?"

  Her son nodded.

  Jake wasn't sure it was better. Her smile packed a wallop, hitting him where he felt it most.

  #

  Wednesday evening, when Sara turned the end table light down a notch in Gillian's living room, Christopher didn't stir. Covering him with an afghan from the back of the sofa, she returned to Gillian in her kitchen.

  Jake's partner was pouring tea. "It's herbal so it won't keep you up tonight."

  Sara sat on a chair and pulled it in to the table. "Thanks for inviting us for supper." Nathan and Jake were attending a budget meeting at the community center. Gillian had invited Sara, Jake and Christopher to dinner. After she'd put Matthew to bed, Christopher conked out on the sofa.

  "With the men at the meeting, I figured we'd have some time to talk. If you want to."

  Seeing Gillian and Nathan together in their home, watching Jake's relationship with both of them, Sara knew she had nothing to be jealous about. She'd like to have Gillian as a confidante but because of her friendship with Jake that might not be possible.

  Sara pulled the cup of tea toward her. "What has Jake told you? About our marriage, I mean."

  "That Christopher is his son, that you lied to him and walked out before the wedding. His words, not mine."

  Sara picked up the cup, decided the tea was too hot to sip, and put the cup back on the saucer. "I'm surprised you're friendly. You're Jake's friend."

  Gillian pulled out a chair and sat across from her. "I'm not making any judgments, Sara. I don't think most people hurt each other intentionally. We all do what we think is best at the time, and we all make mistakes."

  "Nathan doesn't think Jake should have married me, does he?"

  "Nathan wanted Jake to be sure about what he was doing."

  "Jake's always sure about what he does," Sara murmured.

  Gillian gave her a wry smile. "You believe that tough guy act?"

  Sara sighed. "Sometimes I have no choice. Others..." She thought about that afternoon in her mother's garage when he suggested she keep the vanity, their incendiary kiss, his obvious love for their son. "Jake told me you're psychic. Sometimes I wish I were."

  "And sometimes I wish I weren't. At times words and sounds and impressions pop into my head about someone, about something, but I don't know if they're past, present or future. Usually I see a connection to the present."

  Sara couldn't keep from asking, "What do you see about me and Jake?"

  Gillian took a sip of tea, then put her cup on the saucer. "I don't 'see' anything. I feel a strong connection between the two of you."

  "Christopher."

  Gillian shook her head. "No. Much more than Christopher."

  "I just can't make Jake understand why I didn't tell him..."

  "If you love him, eventually he might understand. And if he doesn't, you'll have to make a decision that's right for you and your son."

  Sara stiffened in her chair. "That sounds like a prediction."

  Gillian shook her head. "Nope. Experience. Nathan and I had some rough patches, too. I thought he was still in love with his ex-wife."

  Relaxing again, realizing Gillian could be a friend, she said, "Tell me about you and Nathan. Seeing you two together gives me hope. You seem so happy."

  "We are." Gillian told Sara how she met Nathan, and how they fell in love.

  She'd just finished relating how Nathan had proposed when the phone rang. Excusing herself, she went to the living room to answer it. Nathan and Jake returned via the back door as Gillian reentered the kitchen. She looked troubled.

  Nathan crossed to her and kissed her on the forehead. "What's wrong?"

  "I just received a phone call from a lawyer in Phoenix. When he couldn't reach Jake, he called me. The police department there gave him our numbers. He's looking for the daughter of a client who's seriously ill. He's checked all the databases and keeps hitting roadblocks. So he wants to know if we'll fly down and see if we can help. Before it's too late."

  Nathan asked, "Are you taking it?"

  Gillian glanced at Jake and he nodded. "Yes."

  Jake asked his partner, "When do you want to leave?"

  "Nathan, what do you think?"

  "I can work at home for a few days and take care of Matthew. If I have to go into the office, I'll call Mrs. Haynes."

  "You're sure?"

  Nathan put his arm around his wife's shoulders. "I'm sure."

  Sara's gaze found Jake's. "We'd better go home so you can pack."

  "Is Christopher sleeping?"

  "On the sofa."

  "I'll get him."

  After thanking Gillian for supper, they left. In the car, Jake said, "I don't know when I'll be back."

  This was the nature of Jake's work. It gave his schedule flexibility but also immediate demands. "I know. Maybe I'll call Nathan tomorrow and tell him I can keep Matthew if he needs to go to his office."

  Jake gave her a quick, sideways glance. "Mrs. Haynes is like a grandmother to Matthew. He's used to her. But Nathan might be glad to have a back-up." After a pause, Jake said, "I don't like leaving you alone again so soon after the last time."

  "It's all right. I understand."

  Jake hesitated a moment. "You can reach me on my cell anytime. If there are any problems here that I can't fix long distance, don't hesitate to call Nathan."

  "And I have Eloise. Don't worry about us, Jake. Christopher and I are used to being on our own."

  "You aren't on your own any more." Jake's voice was husky.

  His concern felt so good. It warmed her, made her heart feel lighter. Maybe time would lead to forgiveness and togetherness.

  While Sara put Christopher to bed, Jake packed. She remembered clothes he might need that she'd stacked in the laundry room. After she kissed her sleeping son goodnight, she went to get them.

  She pushed open the door to Jake's bedroom. The high, king-sized four poster bed was the main focus of the room, though the armoire and nightstands were pieces of quality, too. A cedar chest sat at the foot of the bed across from the fireplace and easy chair.

  Jake tossed a few pairs of socks into the travel bag. "I've written down the number of the hotel, too."

  Sara laid two knit shirts on the bed, remembering one cherished night, remembering the love they'd shared. Jake looked up, saw her expression and his jaw tightened. His gaze passed over his clothes, the bed, Sara. The atmosphere between them hummed with all the tension that had surrounded them since she'd returned. She didn't know what to do or what to say.

  Jake broke eye contact and resumed packing.

  Sara took a few deep breaths. "I won't go Christmas shopping for Christopher until you get back."

  He gave her the hint of a smile.

  She stared at his large hands rearranging clothes, pushing over a shirt to fit in the shaving cream. His hands were so gentle, so caressing, so wonderfully tactile. Even just his fingertip on her cheek could create excitement. Before she changed her mind, she said, "I'll miss you."

  His smile faded. He threw the top of the bag over the bottom and zipped it. "Don't forget to put the security system on when you're out and at night."

  "I won't."

  "If you forget the code..."

  They'd covered all this
the first time he'd gone out of town. "I won't forget it, Jake. I gave the combination to Eloise."

  She'd obviously made a mistake telling him she'd miss him. Nothing she said brought them closer together. Time. She just had to wait. "I'll make breakfast before you leave tomorrow. Then Christopher can say goodbye."

  Jake nodded.

  Sara went to her room, closed the door, and sat at the vanity Jake had encouraged her to keep. He did care. She just didn't know how much.

  #

  I'll miss you.

  Sara's gentle voice echoed in Jake's head, and his body tightened. Each day became more of a battle, a battle against his emotions, a battle against his desire for her.

  Staring out the window into the blue of the sky and the white of the clouds, he didn't think he'd ever felt more weary in his life. Sara seemed to be softness and goodness, but he'd thought that once before and he'd gotten torn apart. Keeping his focus on Christopher was the only way to maneuver through this marriage...the only way.

  He glanced over at Gillian who had closed her eyes and was napping. How long had it been since he had a good night's sleep? No wonder he was so tired.

  Jake closed his eyes, but didn't feel the calmness and peace of slumber. He saw Sara's face.

  #

  Sara's knitting needles worked in and out, in and out, as she tried to make progress on Jake's Christmas present. The sweater had become a symbol of the love she felt for him. The shade of hunter green would look wonderful with his black hair and deep brown eyes. She'd found a shirt the perfect color to blend with it.

  When the phone rang, Sara reached for it eagerly.

  "Sara, it's Jake."

  He'd been gone two days and she'd done a lot of thinking. "Hi. How's it going?"

  "I called to give you another number. We're staying in Grand Rapids now. Gillian has a sense the woman we're looking for is about an hour and a half from there near a lake."

  "So you don't have any idea when you'll be home?"

  "I'm hoping in a couple of days. But I can't say for sure."

  She wanted to tell him she missed him but he always seemed to back away when she said she cared about him. Yet there was a quality in Jake's voice she didn't recognize, that urged her to ask, "Are you all right?"