When Finn slid a finger inside Justin, his eyes popped open. “I’ve got you.”
He matched his thrusts to the slide of Justin’s hand over his own length. The combination proved intoxicating for both of them. Justin’s breathing hitched and Finn’s dick turned rock hard.
They were in a race against the clock now. Finn knew he could hold out only so long. The vein that ran alongside Justin’s cock pulsed and his chest heaved. Then he was coming, his lower body shaking from the force of it. The wetness ran over Justin’s fingers and landed on his stomach.
Finn watched it all, loving it as he waited for his turn. “Perfect.”
He had to touch himself now. He couldn’t hold off.
When Justin’s hand fell flat against his stomach and the other one lay limp against the mattress, he peeked up at Finn. “Your turn.”
“Hell, yeah.” Finn ran a hand along Justin’s side. “Turn over. Get on your elbows and knees.”
Justin didn’t say no, but his movements took forever. It was as if he couldn’t control his arms and legs. So, Finn helped him. Got him into the position he wanted and looked down the long line of Justin’s naked back to his neck. Justin had dropped his head forward and held his legs apart. He knew what was coming and welcomed it.
That made two of them.
Finn slid his hand over Justin’s ass and up his back. Pressed it between his shoulder blades and lowered Justin’s body just a bit more. “There.”
One brush of his tip against Justin’s opening. Then a second. Finn had grabbed a condom and was slick with lube. From this position he had exactly what he wanted, and he didn’t wait. Inch by inch he pushed inside, feeling Justin’s body close around him. Press and caress.
“Damn.” Finn realized he’d been trapped by his own game. There was no way he was going to be able to take this slow.
Justin glanced over his shoulder. “Impress me.”
That’s all it took. Finn sank deeper into Justin and pulled out before pressing in again. He only managed a few thrusts before the tightening in his body gripped him. He remembered chanting Justin’s name. He may even have made a small prayer to the universe for strength. None of it worked, because by the third plunge his control broke and his vision blurred. By the fourth he was coming. On the fifth he couldn’t think at all.
* * *
—
Justin opened his eyes and stared at the stark white ceiling. It took his mind a few seconds to adjust and for him to remember where he was. Not much time had passed—a few minutes, maybe a half hour, since the heat had died down and the pulsing inside him stopped.
He turned his head and saw Finn curled up beside him, right under his arm. The memories flooded him now. The sex. Finn’s mouth. How demanding he was, knowing exactly what he wanted and how to bring it out.
Finn Drummond was no novice in the sack. Sweet damn.
He picked that moment to wake up and stretch. Throwing his leg over Justin’s, Finn anchored them both to the mattress. His eyes stayed closed and his sleepy voice broke through the quiet room. “It’s not morning, is it?”
Justin stopped fighting off his smile. “It’s eight o’clock at night.”
He suffered from the same disorientation. He’d drifted off. The only way he knew the time was from the blue numbers on the clock next to the bed. That and the way his stomach growled, since he’d skipped dinner to get to Finn’s villa.
“Really?” Finn’s eyes opened then.
He’d wiped them both out. Justin wanted to take credit, but Finn taking the lead had been pretty fucking spectacular.
His hand rested on Justin’s chest and Justin slid his fingers over it. “Damn, you’re good at that.”
“You’re going to make me blush.”
“I doubt that’s possible.” Justin tried to remember why he was so pissed off earlier, but he couldn’t muster up even a whiff of the anger again. Not now. Not when Finn was so close and his hair tickled Justin’s cheek. “Tommy was an idiot.”
Finn laughed. “To be fair, he was also eleven.”
“Good point.” Justin thought about drifting off again. Letting his tired body fall back into a state of slumber and shutting his mind off.
“Did you think I’d be a virgin?” Finn asked with obvious amusement in his voice.
The question woke Justin right back up again. Finn possessed a level of complete comfort when it came to sex. He owned his feelings. Reveled in them. There was nothing awkward or hesitant about his actions. He could talk dirty with the best of them.
Justin liked it, but the topic of Finn’s previous sex life left him a bit raw because Justin’s secret need for him had an impressive shelf life. He couldn’t exactly jump in and talk about his long-term crush without sounding juvenile. So he struck a balance—honest but not completely forthright. “I didn’t even know you were into men until you told me.”
“Right. The girlfriend thing.” Finn rubbed his thumb over the back of Justin’s hand. “Do you care?”
“That you’re bi? No.” That actually worked out well for Justin.
Truth was, Justin was having trouble concentrating on much of anything. The soothing gesture of Finn touching him should have felt ordinary, but it didn’t. It sent a flush of heat spinning through him.
The brush of skin over skin was so simple, kind of sweet, actually. Justin wasn’t used to either. For him sex had always been getting off. This part—the “after”—threw him off balance.
“Have you had many?” Justin had no idea why he asked, because he really didn’t want to know. The number didn’t matter to him. The fact that Finn was experienced was a great thing as far as Justin was concerned.
“Girlfriends? No.” Finn pressed up, balancing his elbow against the bed and looking down at Justin. “I dated a lot, had a bunch of sex. I’m a fan of sex.”
Hell, yeah. “I noticed and have no complaints.”
“But when it comes to relationships…” Finn winced. “That’s tougher.”
The comment poked at Justin. Suddenly he wanted to know more. He had a guess how this would play out. One that made him feel pretty shitty for all the verbal shots he’d taken at Finn, but he asked anyway. “Because of the money?”
“Sometimes, yes.”
“Meaning?”
“Some people are attracted to it. Some, like you, are repelled by it.” Finn gave Justin’s fingers a reassuring squeeze. “It becomes hard to know how people will react or if what they feel is really about you or a pile of cash.”
“Makes sense.”
“But, honestly, I’ve been working my ass off, so anything more than a few nights with one person has been impossible.”
“Doing what?” Justin tried to imagine Finn all buttoned up in a navy suit, toiling away at a desk. He couldn’t picture it. Finn seemed far too comfortable outside, in the open, to be penned in like that.
“Learning the business. I’ve worked in every area of Drummond.”
“And now you inherit the keys to the kingdom.” When Finn just stared at him, Justin rushed to explain. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that like it sounded.”
He really hadn’t. Not this time. Knowing Alec and what a workaholic he was, it wasn’t tough to come up with a scenario where his younger brother made his overachieving ways into a lifestyle.
“It’s a fair comment, but wrong. You’ve met Alec. Does my brother seem like the type to turn the company over without decades of planning?”
Alec was a tough and determined son of a bitch. Many people viewed him as dangerous. Justin thought calling him manipulative was more accurate. That’s what he’d been years ago when he made it clear Finn was off-limits. “No, but then I never thought he’d fall in love either.”
“That surprised all of us, but Gaige is great.” Finn’s smile was so warm, so genuine, that he didn’t need to
give any details. He believed what he was saying.
Justin got it. Finn liked Gaige with Alec. He was happy for his brother. Justin, being an only child, didn’t quite understand how close they were, but he appreciated the bone-deep loyalty. He once thought he had that with a group of guys, but he made a wrong turn in their view and lost it all.
Oliver came the closest. He knew the most about Justin’s past, about his unwanted attraction to Finn. Alec trusted Oliver. They worked together, traveled together. Some people thought they were a couple but Oliver was staunchly heterosexual and dating him would just be weird. He was…Oliver.
“I saw a photo of this Gaige guy during a news story about their romance,” he said.
“I hate to ask what kind of news you’re watching, but I guess you noticed that Gaige had a sexy nerd vibe. He wears these hot little glasses that drive Alec wild.”
Totally hot but not Justin’s thing. Despite that, Justin understood how Alec got punched in the stomach and went down for the count. “Sounds like Alec’s type.”
“Right?” Finn moved in closer but his smile didn’t fade. “What about you?”
“Clearly I have a thing for businessmen all of a sudden.” Okay, a multiyear thing, but who was counting. And for only one businessman. A dedicated billionaire who happened to be a wild man in the sack.
“I meant, have you had serious boyfriends?”
The warning signal blared in Justin’s head. This is where he usually checked out of a conversation. His private life was not up for analysis.
“One.” The word was out before he could stop it. He waited for the shot of anxiety to hit him but it didn’t come. He felt as much at ease now as he had five minutes ago.
Finn’s smile widened. “Only one in thirty-seven years?”
When he said it that way…“Does that make me pathetic?”
“Guarded, maybe. Careful.”
“That’s fair.” He’d been called worse.
Men had come into his life and wanted to stay but he pushed them back, kept his distance. That was the pattern his whole life. Determination drove him. He always had something he needed to prove before he could think about his private life. A skill he needed to conquer. A promotion he wanted. Then the one time he tried to connect, it ended in an emotional bloodbath.
He learned to stay separate, not trust someone to back him up or even give a shit about what happened to him. Being cool, remote, proved easier. Hiding behind his defenses had become habit. Which was why his feelings for Finn, the way they lingered without him being able to cut them off, tormented him. That was not the plan. He did not care, did not fall—ever.
Finn winced. “Living that way sounds exhausting. Not to mention lonely.”
This was the moment. Justin had to decide whether to go all in or turn over and kiss him to throw Finn off topic.
The words jumbled in his mouth at first. He had to concentrate, figure out what to say and how to say it. The wrong sentence would bring it all rushing back. Not just the idea but the smells and sounds.
“We were in the army and not out. He hated…” Aw, shit. How did he even explain this part? “I had to make this choice and it made a lot of people angry. He could barely handle the fear of being found out, but then to act like my friend when others were abandoning me was too much.”
Finn frowned. “I’m sorry.”
The words were enough to tip him off. Alec might know the story. If so, he likely told his brothers. Justin hated the idea of having the Drummond brothers dissect his life without him being there to explain. “For what?”
“I’m not even sure.”
Justin believed that. Finn might know pieces but not the whole story. That left it to him to fill in the gaps.
“My commanding officer had a mean streak. He hid it and did the job, but being over there…Afghanistan…” Justin could feel the searing heat without closing his eyes. “We waited to be attacked, expected it. We’d hole up, unmoving in the numbing heat. Nothing would happen for days, then some kid would run into camp with a bomb. It was a shit show.”
“And he couldn’t handle it?”
Finn’s tone, so low and lacking in judgment; it was enough to keep Justin talking.
“He lost the ability to hold back the harsh side of himself. The side that liked to hurt people.” Justin looked down and realized he was squeezing Finn’s hand tight enough to make the tips of his fingers turn red. But he never made a sound. Justin eased up on his grip. “Then the group dynamic took over and eleven people were dead. Innocent civilians. He and two others tortured the families then burned the rest of them.”
Finn swore under his breath. “And you reported it.”
“I wasn’t there, so I can’t say what I would have done, but—”
“I can.” Finn sat up a bit more. “Justin, there’s no way you would have joined in on that.”
“You don’t know. You weren’t there.” But he wanted to believe. He’d spent so many nights trying to convince himself he would have held onto his humanity. He hoped so. “I want to think you’re right, but who the hell knows.”
“I can’t imagine the core of who people are can change that much.”
Yeah, he used to think that, too. “You’d be surprised. But, anyway, I overheard some of the men bragging about it and reported it, pushed it until someone listened. Managed to tick off everyone. I left the army shortly after that. Needless to say, being my boyfriend at that time was not a good choice, so I ended up alone.”
Finn exhaled. “And now you run a charity and live in a place where openly dating as a gay man is tough to do.”
The comment nagged at Justin. He loved Morocco. The people, the land. He refused to believe he’d picked this place because the rules here all but guaranteed he couldn’t have a relationship. Like his choice of country was one more defense mechanism.
“I’m not punishing myself. I want to be here.” Justin knew people thought otherwise. The few in the know, those who had been there back then, commented that this job and his refusal to return to live in the States was his penance. Maybe they were right.
If he had been there, the innocent people might be alive. His friends wouldn’t have taken this turn. Their lives would be whole, or as whole as they could be after living through that shit show.
It was Justin’s turn to let out a loud exhale. “How did we go from talking about Alec’s love life to this?”
Finn winked. “I have that kind of face.”
“You have a fucking fantastic face.” The best face. The kind that haunted Justin’s dreams and now lingered in his head during the day.
“Stay the night.” Finn dragged the covers a little higher on their entangled bodies. “We’ll get some dinner. Do more of this.”
He didn’t think he could move if he wanted to…and he didn’t. “Karim and Rania are going to know something is up with us.”
“From the noise we just made, I’m sure they know exactly what we’re doing. But do you care?”
Justin let the idea bounce around in his head. There were dangers, of course. He didn’t think Karim and Rania were the types to turn people in, but anything could happen. Still, in that moment Justin couldn’t muster up the worry. Not when he had other ideas on his mind. “I want to go back to the part where you said you loved sex.”
“You can’t tell?”
The guy was practically a genius in bed. Justin knew he’d gotten lucky on that score. “We should probably do it again so I can see.”
Finn rolled onto his back, taking Justin with him. “You’re so selfless.”
“You have no idea.”
Chapter 12
The next two days were a haze of meetings and reviewing maps and correspondence. Finn had looked at so many shipping manifests and invoices, analyzing for patterns—anything to give him a lead on the shipment pro
blems—that he now saw lines of typed print whenever he closed his eyes.
All that work and a few minor camp issues kept Justin racing around and busy. They couldn’t exactly repeat their night at the villa while back at the camp. While they were lucky to be able to have sex in Morocco without as much fear as locals would have, that privilege extended only so far. There were some boundaries even Finn wouldn’t cross, which meant every move and every glance in Justin’s direction stayed purely professional.
The lack of personal contact was driving Finn to distraction. Today he’d read the same sentence four times and still didn’t understand what it said, thanks to Justin walking around in the tent in front of him. The guy really should model those cargo pants for a living, because damn.
But now they had a few hours to breathe. They’d agreed to meet in Fnideq for dinner. Justin used the pretense of food but texted Finn privately during the afternoon to make sure he knew sex was on the table. Since Finn intended to ask Justin to spend the night, he agreed in record time.
Finn picked the place on Rania’s recommendation, skipping the more expensive resort restaurants and settling on a seafood restaurant tucked into a row of shops near the water. Rania had sat a few tables away with Karim, until Karim had gotten up and headed outside a few minutes ago.
Finn folded his napkin and put it on the table as the waiter cleared away the dishes. “That meal was worth the mind-numbing teleconference with Griff and Alec at the end of the day.”
Justin smiled. “I thought I heard yelling in the tent.”
“Alec is really invested now that he’s convinced we’re getting screwed by our suppliers or by shipping companies. He wants it ferreted out and stopped.” Alec talked about background searches and files. After five minutes of that, Finn tuned out. “He’s a joy to deal with when he gets spun around.”
“It’s understandable. He hates losing money.”
It probably wasn’t a surprise Justin jumped to that conclusion, but still it made Finn wince. “He’s upset that the food and supplies aren’t getting to the people who need them. He actually gives a shit about what you do here.”
Dirty Games Page 12