Callum moved to greet Gregor and Isobel while Orick, Cooper, and I dismounted and handed over our reins to the men who stood waiting to see to the tired and hungry horses.
By the time Callum moved toward us, Adwen appeared in the doorway, grinning like a recently-laid fool.
“Isobel, ye look well, lass.” He moved to kiss her hand before moving to greet Gregor who thanked Adwen graciously for the invitation. I stood back, watching their exchanges, all the while dreading the moment he would head my way.
After a moment, he turned to me and Cooper and threw me a wink before moving to say hello to Cooper.
“I’m pleased to see ye again, Cooper. ’Tis wonderful that ye’ve come.”
“Thanks for having me.” Cooper smiled but stayed close to my side. I wondered if the perceptive child could sense my irritation and meant to comfort me by his presence. It did help, and I reached to grab Cooper’s hand so that it wouldn’t be free for Adwen’s grabbing.
“Adwen.” I nodded but said nothing else in greeting.
“Jane, ye look lovely.”
I did not look lovely. Nobody looked lovely after three days on the road. His flattery meant nothing.
“Will ye no extend me yer hand?”
I gripped Cooper’s fingers a little tighter so he’d know not to release me. “The last time you asked me to shake your hand, it didn’t go so well, remember? Besides, I have…” I hesitated, but still the words escaped me, “I have a…a rash.”
“Ye have a rash, lass?”
“Uh, yes, on my hands.”
At that, Cooper jerked his hands from my grip before shaking them out in disgust. “Then what are you holding my hands for? I don’t want a rash, Aunt Jane.”
I opened my eyes as wide as I could force them as I tried to show Cooper I was fibbing, but the damage was already done.
“Let me see yer hand, lass. If ’tis a rash, perhaps we can find ye a salve.”
I’d backed myself into a corner, and I knew there was no way I could get out of the situation without drawing even more attention. Cringing, I extended it toward him.
His ran his fingers across the soft flesh of my palm, glancing down at them with feigned concern.
“I doona see a rash, but riding can be rough on yer hands. I’ll have a solution sent to yer bedchamber to soothe it.”
“Thanks.” I pulled my hand from his grasp, hating the fluttery sensation that shot through my abdomen as he touched me.
“Now,” Adwen turned to address the group, “allow me to show ye the castle. Then I’ll see ye each to yer chambers so that ye can rest and refresh yerselves before the evening meal.”
I didn’t feel the need to traipse around the castle by Adwen’s guided hand when more than likely I knew its hallways better than he did—I’d lived in it longer than he had. “Actually, would you mind just telling me which room is mine? I’m sure I can find my way there.”
Adwen spoke over his shoulder at me as he guided us all inside. “I’d forgotten that ye’d been to the castle before while we were away. Are ye sure ye doona wish to join us?”
Cooper spoke up, always ready to be helpful. “She’s done more than visit, she used to live here!”
Adwen said nothing but threw me a questioning glance before Isobel spoke up in confusion.
“Ye have lived here, Jane?”
I moved in close to her and tried to dismiss her question where Cooper couldn’t hear me. “He’s got a vivid imagination—likes to come up with all sorts of stories.”
I suspected that Isobel didn’t quite believe me, but she said nothing more. Once we stepped indoors, Adwen moved to my side.
“If ye truly wish to go to yer room now, ’tis the one at the base of the tower. Do ye know the one I speak of?”
“Yes.” I rustled Cooper’s hair before taking a step in the room’s direction and twisting to face Adwen. I leaned in close, reaching my hands up to pull at a long strand of blonde hair sticking out from underneath his winter coat. He stilled as he realized what I held.
Without expression, I twirled my fingers so that the strand fell to the ground. “Seems your hair is changing colors, Adwen.”
Leaving him speechless, I took my leave.
CHAPTER 16
I settled easily into the room, familiar with it upon first entry—it had been the very room I’d chosen for myself during my time here. A bath sat waiting. Whatever his whoring habits, I appreciated that he’d at least been thoughtful enough to think about what we would need and have it prepared for us ahead of time.
It took me all of five seconds to strip out of my filthy riding clothes and sink into the decently warm water. Scented with lavender oil, the smell did help ease my frustration. I moaned as I bent to rub on my heel, pushing and pressing to ease pent-up pressure.
There was a light knock on the door accompanied by the sound of a woman’s voice.
“I doona wish to disturb ye. I just mean to let ye know that there’s a robe for yer use on the bed, and yer belongings have been placed just outside the doorway. Can I help ye with anything else?”
“No. Thank you.”
I’d not noticed the robe before but, sure enough, as I twisted in the tub, there it was. Once I heard the woman’s footsteps retreating, I decided it was time to get out of the tub. After slipping into the thick, warm robe, I opened the door to gather my belongings, all of which had been placed with separate horses that had ridden ahead of us.
Adwen stood in the doorway.
“Jane, I see ye’ve enjoyed a bath.”
“Yes.” I waved my hands downward at the robe in a sort of duh motion that only seemed to cause his eyes to rake over my slightly suggestive apparel. “Are you finished with the tour? Where’s Cooper?”
“Cooper asked if he could stay with Orick. Orick dinna mind so I gave the lad permission.”
“The permission wasn’t yours to give, Adwen.” I brushed past him, stepping out into the hallway to gather some of my things. He stopped me before I could reach them, gathering everything up in one armload as he moved to place it near the bed before returning to the doorway to yank me inside.
“Doona expose yerself in the hallway, lass. Ye are no dressed properly.”
I rolled my eyes, thinking back on the naked woman in the window. I hardly thought it proper for her to be baring her nipples for all of the village, but she sure hadn’t seemed to have had any problem with it.
Adwen huffed at me with a sound of annoyance, closing the door and trapping me inside with him. “If ye doona wish for Cooper to stay with Orick, I’ll have the lad’s things brought to yer bedchamber, lass. But I can assure ye that Orick will keep him safe. He told the lad he would teach him to shoot a bow, but mayhap ye doona think it a good idea.”
“Of course I don’t care if Cooper stays with Orick. But it should have been me that granted him the permission to do so.”
There was a change in his eyes, as if it was only then that the thought occurred to him. “Ye are right, Jane. Forgive me.”
“Fine. You’re forgiven. Now, leave so that I can change into some real clothes and get ready for supper.”
He nodded and turned away but took only a few steps before he turned around again, a resolve in his eyes that made me immediately nervous.
“Is it true what Cooper said? Did ye really live here? In yer own time?”
The question was much more innocent than I expected, and I felt myself relax a little as the warm memories of my time here came back to me once more.
“Yes, I did.” I smiled, thinking of the shambles that Kathleen and I had spent several happy months in. “My friend and I—Kathleen, she’s married to Jeffrey—you might have met her at McMillan Castle. Anyhow, we bought this place together with intentions to restore it, but then we ended up back here and all of that sort of came to a stop.”
“Restore it?”
“Yes, sometime throughout the next few hundred years, this place falls straight to crap. When we bought it, it was in ru
ins.”
There was real concern in his eyes—anyone who’d witnessed the beauty of the place couldn’t help but be saddened by the knowledge that it wouldn’t remain. “Did ye save it?”
“A little of it, but we were sent back here before we finished, and neither of us have returned since. I’m afraid to see what it would be like now.”
He shrugged. I could tell he wasn’t one to worry about things he couldn’t change. “Mayhap someone else has come along to continue yer work.”
“I hope so.” I caught his eyes sweep over my robe again. “All right Adwen, now it’s time to go.”
“I’m no leaving yet, lass. The hair ye pulled from me coat—it angered ye.”
I ground my teeth together to keep from punching him in the nose. He looked ridiculously pleased with himself.
“Just how did you get that impression? Your private activities are none of my concern.”
He crossed his arms, oozing an air of arrogance that had me twitching in irritation. “Lass, ye believe I bedded the lass whose hair ye found, and ye doona care for it.”
“You are something else, you know it? I didn’t want you. Over and over I made that clear to you. Therefore,” I could feel myself turning into Cooper, over-blabbing as my frustration grew, even though I knew I had no real reason to be frustrated with Adwen. He’d been kind to me, kind to Isobel, and if he slept with every girl in Scotland—which I suspected he was getting pretty close to doing—it was none of my business. In truth, I was frustrated with myself for wanting to drop the robe wrapped around me and pounce on him like a hyena in heat. “I don’t care who you choose to ‘tup.’”
“Aye, ye do, Jane. Ye wish it was ye that I bedded instead.” He took a step toward me, closing the distance between us. I raised my arm to keep him away.
“Are you crazy? Like hell I’d want to sleep with you right after you finished banging somebody else not three hours ago.”
He leaned forward so that my palm rested against his chest as he reached up with his right hand to grip at my wrist. “What if I told ye I dinna bed her, lass?”
“Adwen,” I glared up at him with disbelieving eyes. Any earlier flutters were quickly replaced with fury at being lied to. “I know you slept with her. I saw you leaving the girl’s house. I saw her breasts through the window.”
He pulled away defensively. “The lass was naked. I willna tell ye differently, but I dinna bed her. I couldna bring myself to do it. ’Tis never happened to me before.”
I laughed, walking to the door to open it for him. “Do you wish to be applauded for that? For once realizing that maybe it’s not the best idea to sleep with a total stranger? Well good on you, Adwen. Now, please leave. I’m exhausted.”
He didn’t move. “Would ye like to know why I couldna bed her?”
“A little case of erectile dysfunction, I imagine. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of men.”
His brows pulled together in confusion. He had no idea what I was talking about—that seemed to happen often with people in the seventeenth century.
“I doona know what ye just said, but no. ’Tis yer fault I couldna bed her.”
“My fault? What, did my rejection really wound your ego that badly?”
“Lass.” He grabbed the edge of the door, pulling it from my grip as he closed it before reaching for my hands and pulling me in close. “Yer rejection only endeared ye to me further. I couldna bed her because all I could think of was ye.”
I knew then that my earlier suspicions had been spot on. I was unfinished business—nothing more. I squeezed his hand gently—a gesture so reeking of friendship that I hoped it would break the sexual tension that permeated the room.
It didn’t help at all.
“Adwen, let’s just drop this. The only reason you’re so set on bedding me is because I didn’t let you. It’s a game. I’m a challenge. I’ll admit that you truly are one of the most attractive men I have ever seen, and there is a small part of me that wants nothing more than to let you just take me over and over until I pass out from too many orgasms.”
“I’d be happy to oblige ye, lass.”
I pulled my hand from his and put up a finger to stop him. “But…I am going to give you a hard pass. You are officially friend-zoned. I’m granting you the gift of my friendship, not of my body. I don’t sleep with my friends. End of discussion—think of me as you do Isobel.”
He shook his head, laughing softly. “I canna do that, Jane. I doona want to be yer friend, and ye doona wish to be mine.”
“Yes. I do.”
“I willna argue with ye, Jane. No with my words.”
He leaned in slowly, teasing me with his warm, sweet breath and the temptation of his lips as he touched them to me lightly before pulling away. He gave me time to stop his kiss. He meant to test me, to see if I’d meant what I said. I couldn’t bring myself to step away from him.
He knew the moment I allowed my resolve to slip away. In an instant, his lips met mine, not hard and rough as I’d expected but soft and slow as he seduced me into opening myself up to him. His tongue trailed my lower lip causing it to tremble as his hand grazed the side of my robe. I moved my hand to the back of his head, stroking the long strands of his dark hair as our mouths danced together.
I could’ve kissed him all night but, no matter how amazing his touch, it changed nothing. I didn’t wish to be with someone who would lose interest after we slept together. I wasn’t somebody’s conquest. I knew my own self-worth. I didn’t want one moment of weakness to create a month of awkwardness during our stay here.
“Adwen.” His name came out breathlessly, my body still not grasping the sanity that my mind demanded.
“Ach, Jane. I need to see ye, lass.”
“No. I’m sorry. I won’t.” I gathered the strength to push him away. I imagined the need in his eyes was a fair match for my own.
“Doona ye dare tell me ye wish to be my friend, Jane. We are past that now.”
“At first I want to be. You don’t know my last name, my favorite season, my favorite food. Nothing. I don’t know you either, Adwen. I know that’s how you prefer it; it makes it easier to cut bait and run, but I’m not some fish to be caught and then thrown back to sea. I’ve been that before—one too many times. I’m past it.”
A flash of hope sparked in his hungry eyes. “Are ye saying that if I become yer friend, then…?”
“Maybe. Okay? Show me that you have an interest in something other than my body, and we’ll see. Get to know me. Care about the parts of me that make me who I really am. It will make it harder for you to leave, but you won’t have any part of me until you at least try.”
“Perhaps, I doona wish to leave ye.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m a lot to handle. We’ll see what you think about me after you know more than the curvature of my lips.”
“Verra well, lass.”
He grinned before stepping past me and out the door. Once alone, I collapsed against the bed, covering my face with shaky hands. Oh, the dreams I would have tonight.
CHAPTER 17
The stables were empty except for the horses, and all that lapped upon the shore were the waves. It was unlike Orick to be indoors this late into the morning, but Adwen knew it was the only place left to look for his friend—Orick hated being inside the castle even more than he did.
The small cottage was a short walk from the stables and had housed Cagair Castle’s stablemaster for more than thirty years, but Orick had changed all that in a day. Adwen thought back on the day his father took over as laird and the way every member of his family tried, to no avail, to get Orick to accept a room inside the castle.
“If I stay in the castle with ye sorry lot, there willna ever be a moment when I am no at yer whim. It has been that way for more than ten years on the road, and I willna do it a moment longer. Now I shall at least find sleep in my own place, far enough away from each of ye so I know ye will be too lazy to get up from yer beds and fetch me.”
And so he’d marched out of the castle and made the stablemaster a proposal he couldn’t refuse. Orick would care for the horses at night so that he could go into the village to be with his family. Same wages, less work, more family time—Orick was the old man’s favorite person in the world.
It suited Adwen well enough—he didn’t care where Orick chose to sleep, but it did make it damned hard to find him when he needed his help. Now after countless years and thousands of pieces of good advice he’d ignored, Adwen could finally see that Orick’s wisdom was worth his heed.
Jane didn’t want to be his friend, but he didn’t blame her for demanding more from him. He regretted deeply his actions the night he first met her; he’d treated her like a common whore and, in return, he’d been unable to gain her trust. He wanted nothing more than to earn it.
Even if he never succeeded, he knew he owed the lass so much. That one night, her simple refusal, woke him from a stupor he’d lived in for far too many years—years spent believing that his life was full when it was vacant of anything that really mattered; years spent of making women less than they were in order to protect himself.
There were memories, small and sweet, that reminded him of just how devastating the love of a woman could be. Different from the love of a lover, but no less strong, Adwen’s mother and his love for her had been the very center of his heart. Her death had destroyed him and his brothers and father along with it.
They’d banded together and dealt with their grief in much the same way, fleeing to keep the pain away, never staying in one place long enough for the memories to creep back in, never long enough for the empty ache to resume.
It was why he hated castles, why he didn’t want to be laird.
As laird, he couldn’t run. And now, thanks to Jane, he didn’t want to.
It was a hefty realization and one that Adwen didn’t believe himself equipped to handle on his own. If he didn’t wish to lose her, he would need the help of a few far smarter than him.
Love Beyond Compare (Book 5 of Morna’s Legacy Series) Page 9