I’m not quite sure what propels me to challenge her words, but they’re out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Is he?”
Straightening her shoulders, the smile falls clean off my mother’s pretty face. “Unfortunately his work takes him away from his family but he truly believes in what he’s doing. That’s why it was so important that I step away from my career and be here, because we knew there would be times when he couldn’t be.” Her eyes search mine. “I hope you understand that. Everything he does is for us.”
Feeling instantly remorseful, because it was never my intention to upset her, I try carefully navigating the conversation we’re now embroiled in. “I know, mom, but you’re the one who’s had to make most of the sacrifices. All I’m saying is that I think it’s great you’re looking to get back into nursing. That’s it.” Although privately, I do think what I asked is completely valid. My dad is gone at least seventy to eighty percent of the time leaving my mom here to handle everything on her own.
The raising of us included.
Accepting my words at face value, she gives me just a hint of a smile. “We’ll see.” Then she runs her fingers slowly over the boxes. “If I’m going to get my state license, I’ll need to bone up on some of my old coursework.”
Feeling like we’re once again on safe terrain, I say, “I really hope it works out.”
She shrugs as if it’s no big deal. But I know better. I can see just how important this is to her. How excited she is at the prospect of getting back into her career. “We’ll just have to wait and see what happens. I actually had lunch with an old colleague a few days ago and he said there were quite a few opportunities available at the hospital. He gave me the name of someone in human resources who I can contact for more information. Maybe set up an appointment when I’m ready to move forward with the process.”
“I think it’s a good place to start.”
Instead of those words curving her lips upwards, the small smile she’s wearing actually wavers. “I’m just not sure what your father is going to think about all this.”
I can’t help but blow out a long slow breath because I think we both know exactly how he’s going to react. Not that I necessarily believe it, but I want her to continue looking into the possibilities. “Maybe he’ll surprise you, mom. Maybe he won’t mind as much as you think he will.” I really hope for her sake, those words are true. If she wants to go back to work, she should be able to do it. Everything shouldn’t always revolve around my dad and his schedule. Although, most of the time, it does.
Looking somewhat pensive, she forces her expression to brighten. “Maybe. We haven’t talked about me getting back into the work force for quite a while. He’s just so busy gearing up for this election season.”
I nod. But that’s not really anything new. It’s always like this. Even though the election isn’t until next November, strategy meetings are already underway. And it’ll only continue gearing up as the election looms closer.
“Sam?”
My eyes snap back to hers. “Yeah?”
Looking a little uncertain, she repeats, “Don’t mention this conversation to him right now. He’s got enough on his plate with everything going on. Honestly, this is nothing more than a fact finding mission at this point. After looking into everything a little more carefully, I may decide that it’s not what I want to do.”
“I won’t say a word.”
My mom shouldn’t be afraid of what my father’s response will be. She shouldn’t have to ask permission if she wants to go back to work. Unfortunately, I know exactly what she’s trying to say even if she doesn’t necessarily want to come out and say it.
She’ll see what kind of commitment going back to school or studying for her license will be and the kind of hours she can work and that will determine whether or not she moves forward with this.
Which sucks.
But I don’t tell her that.
I can’t.
I just hope when she finally decides to discuss the situation with my father, he shocks the hell out of both of us.
Changing the subject, she says, “I stopped by and checked on Edward the other day.”
“Oh?” I can’t help but hold my breath waiting for her next words. I know that both he and his wife are getting up there in age and he hasn’t been feeling well lately. “Everything okay?”
She nods. “I think so. I told Alice to call if she needed anything and that I’d stop back in a day or two to see how everything’s going.”
Without realizing it, I murmur, “I don’t want to see Violet lose anyone else.” What I hate most of all is just how powerless I feel to protect her from that actually occurring. My natural instinct, as far as Violet is concerned, is to wrap her up in my arms and hold her tight. Keep her safe from everything that will hurt her.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted do.
My mom’s eyes soften as she smiles. “I take it that everything is good with Violet?”
One side of my mouth hitches as I respond rather succinctly, “Yup.” And that’s all she’s going to get from me on the subject.
Her brow arches as the smile continues to broaden into a knowing grin. God, but I hate that look because I know exactly what’s coming next.
I can’t help but groan as she says somewhat smugly, “So, she finally came to her senses, huh?”
And on that note…
“Hey, would you look at that,” I don’t even bother glancing at the digital clock on my phone, “time to get back to school.” Turning on my heels, I head towards the front door.
“Say hi to Violet for us!” Her soft chuckles fill the air as I step out onto the porch.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Mia knocks on my partially opened door before sticking her head inside. “Hey, Caroline and Maddie are ordering pizzas, you interested in splitting one?”
Pizza sounds amazingly good right now. Plus, I’m in desperate need of fuel for energy. It feels like I’m running on fumes. I’ve been bogged down most of the day studying for tests and making a last run through a six page paper due in sociology on Thursday. “Count me in, I’m famished. I think my stomach has actually started eating its own lining.”
“Okay… great.” Her mouth hitches on one side. “About the pizza, not your stomach consuming itself. Should I get our usual? Pepperoni with extra cheese and an order of garlic knots?”
“Definitely.” My tummy rumbles loudly in agreement.
“Alright, I’ll let them know.” With that she disappears out the door and down the hall.
Ten minutes later and I’m having a hard time concentrating with pizza on the brain. So I push away from my desk before heading out to our common area where Mia is sitting with her Kindle.
“Reading something good?”
Flashing me a small smile, she sets the device down on the table next to her. “I’m juggling about three different books right now.” Her voice loses some of its energy. “With all these computer programming classes, it’s nice to just turn off my brain and escape for a while.”
Her words have my brows drawing together. I’m not used to hearing this kind of tone from Mia.
“You doing okay? You seem kind of… off.”
Giving me a slight shoulder shrug, she glances down at her fingernails. Or what’s left of them. They look as if they’ve been chewed to the pulp which is a clear sign that Mia’s stressing about something. Even though she hasn’t said much about it, I know things haven’t exactly righted themselves with her boyfriend.
After a few silent moments, she finally blows out a long slow breath. “I haven’t talked to Carter in days. He’s not returning any of my calls or texts.” Finally her eyes lift to mine. All at once, I see the hurt and worry swimming around within their mossy green depths. Voice lowering, she finally admits, “I really don’t know what to do anymore.”
“I’m sorry, Mia. You should have said something sooner.” Then again, maybe if I weren’t so wrapped up in Sam, I would have noticed her mela
ncholy without her having to spell it out for me.
“We’re supposed to be moving in together after graduation and now he’s barely talking to me. I took that job in Philadelphia so we could be in the same place again. Now what am I supposed to do?” Her wide eyes hold mine. For the first time in years, she looks unsure of what the future holds for her.
“I don’t know,” I admit slowly, racking my brain for an answer. It’s not exactly like I have a ton of relationship experience to draw from. In fact, I’m the very last person who should be doling out advice on how to keep a boyfriend. I’m way better at losing them. “If he’s avoiding you, then maybe you need to road trip to Philly. He can’t very well ignore you if you’re right in front of him. Then you two can actually sit down and talk about what’s going on.” I pause for a moment before adding softly, “Talk about you not being ready to get engaged.”
My words seem to tumble around in her head. “Maybe.” Silently she begins picking at her thumb nail. Her brows furrow with concentration before she finally mutters, “I’m just really surprised that he’s handling it like this. I know things were tense between us when he left… but I thought with enough time, everything would eventually smooth itself out. That hasn’t happened.” Glancing up, her eyes spear mine. Biting down on her lower lip, she adds sadly, “Maybe this relationship isn’t going to work out. Maybe this is it for us.”
Unable to believe what I’m hearing, I shake my head in protest. “It doesn’t have to be. Go see him. Force him to talk with you. Get it figured out.” I hate to see their relationship crumble over something like this. Over him proposing and her not being ready to take that next step.
How ridiculous is that?
“Yeah, well,” she says with a little more frustration tinging her voice, “it’s a little hard to talk to him right now when he won’t even answer my calls.” Her brows slam together before she adds, “He’s being really childish about the whole thing. He needs to get over it and move on.”
“Maybe he’s embarrassed.”
She levels a hard look in my direction. “He shouldn’t be. It’s not like I don’t want to be with him, it’s more of a matter of bad timing. I’m just not ready to be engaged right now.” Her eyes skewer mine. “I love him more than anything and I want to be with him, but he’s making it really hard right now.”
“I know. He probably just needs to hear you say that.”
Looking exhausted, she allows her head to fall back against the couch cushions behind her before staring contemplatively up at the ceiling. “I don’t know… maybe you’re right. Maybe that’s the only way I’m going to get through to him. It’s just with finals coming up in a few weeks, I don’t have the time to run off and reassure his damn ass.”
I give her a small smile. “Love can definitely be a pain. No question about it.”
At my words, she picks up her head until her eyes are able to lock onto mine. One eyebrow slowly slinks its way across her forehead before she smirks. “Oh? Is that so? I can’t believe there are already problems in paradise with Golden Delicious.”
“There aren’t any problems with Sam.” I refuse to acknowledge her little pet name. Now that Sam and I are officially together, I know she uses the endearment just to get a rise out of me.
“I know. You two are totally sickening.” Flopping her head back onto the couch cushion again, she sighs rather dramatically, “I remember being that way once upon a time.”
I roll my eyes at that. “Oh, please. Why do you think I always have to get the hell out of Dodge whenever Carter rolls into town?”
Those words have her lips curling up at the corners. “Ah, yes, the good old days.”
Lifting her head, she cocks it to the side. “It took you long enough but I’m glad you two are finally together. This is the first time in three years that I’ve seen you with someone you actually want to be with.”
Thrown off by the comment, I can’t help but ask, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. All of the other guys you’ve been with… you never really seemed that into them. It’s like you didn’t really give a damn if they were there or not.”
Hmmm.
I guess she’s right about that. I didn’t give a damn about any of them. Not really. They were just distractions. Short lived ones, at that. I was never sad when those relationships stalled or flat lined. More than half the time, I was the one pulling the plug wanting to move on.
What I have with Sam feels completely different from anything I’ve ever experienced before. I care about him. I care what happens between us. He means everything to me. The depth of love I have for him is almost frightening.
“I’m glad you’re happy, Vi. You deserve it.” She gives me a little wink before adding, “Looks like you finally found your perfect fit, Goldilocks.”
A small chuckle falls from my lips because it’s true, Sam fits me perfectly. Never in a million years would I have guessed that we could be so happy in a relationship, but we are. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. And I think he feels the same.
At least I hope he does.
There’s a knock on our door as eight girls come crashing in with four boxes of pizza, three bags of garlic knots, and a chopped salad before settling around our small living room area. Finding places to hunker down on the floor and couch, box lids are hastily thrown open. Not a moment later, the intoxicating aroma of freshly baked pizza fills the air.
I’m just starting on my second huge slice of pepperoni when Maddie says with a smirk aimed in my direction, “So I hear you’re banging Sam Harper. I thought you two were just friends. Not friends with benefits.”
Glancing around, I notice that her obnoxious comment has ensnared almost everyone’s attention. A few of the girls are totally stunned by this development while others tell me they saw it coming from a mile away. And one, Caroline, asks just how long we’ve been doing the deed.
And is it any good?
Is he hung like a horse?
Is it the best sex I’ve ever had?
Christ…
The nerve of these girls and their questions.
Refusing to answer, I continue stuffing my face with pizza. At the rate I’m going, I’ll probably end up devouring our whole pie single handedly rather than give them anything more to gossip about.
“God, but you’re lucky. That boy has one of the best bodies I’ve ever seen.” Caroline gives me a little wink before adding, “Be sure to send him my way when you’re done. I would love to get me some of that.”
There’s much giggling as some of them agree rather loudly with the sentiment.
A little too loudly.
Even though I shouldn’t let their chatter bother me, I find myself getting irritated. They’re discussing Sam and his body as if he’s nothing more than a piece of meat. Or like it’s not flat out rude to be doing it right in front of my face.
The discussion lasts for another five minutes while they dissect, in detail, every single one of his body parts until I’m practically blushing with embarrassment. Okay… so maybe in the past I’ve been guilty of rehashing some of the finer details when I’ve been with a guy, but I can’t bear to do that with Sam.
And I certainly don’t want to hear any of them doing it either.
Thankfully it doesn’t take long for the conversation to morph into a hotly contested debate regarding which Barnett football player is the hottest. After a ridiculous, not to mention lengthy discussion, they’re still not able to come to a general consensus.
Each girl has a fan favorite.
It’s only when the pizzas have been demolished and all of the the football players have thoroughly been dissected, do voices finally settle and peace once again reigns in the land.
Sheesh.
You would seriously think these girls were discussing world politics or global warming by how fiercely debated some of these exchanges had been.
Once the conversation turns to the men’s lacrosse team, I quickly excuse myself to use the ba
throom. I have zero interest in listening to them break down the lax players in the same fashion they did the football team.
And I certainly don’t want them asking anymore in depth questions about Sam. For the time being, I just want to keep our relationship all to myself. What we do is private and the last thing I need is a bunch of girls wanting to know how he is in bed.
When I finally make it back from the bathroom, Caroline, who had been sitting next to me, has my phone cradled in the palm of her hand. About four girls are leaning towards her, looking at something on the screen. As I move further into the room, they simultaneously glance up, spearing me with looks. A weird feeling creeps its way across my spine as they continue staring.
With a sly smile marring her face, Caroline holds the phone out to me. “Sam just called.” She clears her throat as two girls glance at each other, not even bothering to hide their grins. “I didn’t think you would mind if I answered it.”
A few giggles erupt as I quickly pluck the phone from her outstretched hand. I really shouldn’t have left it sitting on the table when I left the room. I wasn’t even thinking about it.
When I have the phone safely back in my possession, Caroline quickly jumps up before dumping her plate into the garbage can. Within a few minutes, the place empties and Mia and I are left with just our box of half eaten pizza.
Even though I don’t know why, I can’t shake the weird feeling that’s suddenly fallen over me. Like something just happened but I have absolutely no idea what it is.
Glancing at Mia, I wonder if she feels the strange energy as well. Testing the waters, I say, “Kind of weird how everyone cleared out so fast.”
For just a moment, Mia holds my eyes before hers skitter away. Then she shrugs. “I think everyone’s just bogged down with studying.” Swiping her Kindle from the end table near the couch, she tosses the words over her shoulder before heading into her room, “I’ve got some books to hit as well.”
With that, she leaves me standing alone in our small living room.
Even though her words only confirm what I was thinking, I still feel like something is off. But I have no idea what it could be. Deciding to let it go, I head back to my room. I have to finish proofreading that paper for soc and then get through a few chapters for Rickets’ class.
Friend Zoned (Barnett Bulldogs #2) Page 21