“I was just heading inside to look for her. I’ve already searched the backyard and she’s not there.”
Austin looks beyond pissed. I pray that when we finally find Brooklyn, she’s alone so we can just grab her and go before all hell breaks loose.
Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, Cole pulls me close as we push our way through the thick throng of people. “Why is Austin here?” I whisper, “Doesn’t he realize that they aren’t together anymore?”
Cole nods his head towards Austin, who is clearing a path for us, before leaning towards me. The way his warm breath feathers across my ear has a little shiver of awareness dancing down my spine. “He swears that he didn’t cheat on her. He claims it wasn’t what it looked like and that Brooklyn won’t even give him a chance to explain what happened.”
In answer, I give him a skeptical look.
Cole gives me one right back. “That photo of you doesn’t exactly look innocent.”
My brows slide quickly together. “It looked perfectly innocent.”
Cole blows out a long slow breath before finally saying, “Look, I don’t want to talk about it right now. Let’s just find Brooklyn and go because I can already tell you that Austin won’t be leaving without her.”
Just as the three of us round a corner into the living room, Austin bellows her name before charging towards the couch she’s sitting on. Well, technically Brooklyn is sitting on a guy’s lap. It’s the same one she had been dancing with earlier. One of his hands is stroking her thigh under her short black skirt and she’s laughing as he whispers something in her ear.
Skidding to a quick halt, I watch as the scene unfolds in front of us. Before Brooklyn realizes it, Austin is there, yanking her off the guy until she’s all but tumbling unsteadily into his arms. The guy she’s with quickly jerks to his feet. When they had been dancing earlier, I hadn’t realized just how big he was. Jeez, he’s huge. But then again, so is Austin. The pair of them square off, getting in each other’s faces. For just a moment, Brooklyn looks shell shocked before she starts yelling.
“What the hell are you doing? You have no right to come here and pull me away! I can be with whoever I want. We’re not together anymore!”
Ignoring the angry frat guy, Austin tries cajoling her with a soft voice and sad puppy dog eyes. “Brooklyn, babe, you’re just angry with me. You don’t really want to be with this douche. Please come home so we can work this out.”
Apparently taking offense to being called a douche, the other guy shoves Austin hard in the chest knocking him back a step. “Dude, she doesn’t want you. You and your friend need to leave before it gets ugly.” The guy looks as if he wouldn’t mind things getting ugly. My eyes slide to the other guys in the room who have suddenly taken an interest in the confrontation. My guess is that his friends wouldn’t mind it getting ugly either.
We seem to be drawing all sorts of unwanted attention at this point because people are starting to crane their heads towards the commotion Austin and the frat guy are making. Nervously I place a hand on Cole’s forearm. His gaze slices to mine. Cole doesn’t strike me as a brawler but I know he’ll back Austin up if he needs to.
Not wanting a fight to erupt, I hastily step forward, sliding my arm carefully around an enraged Brooklyn. “Let’s go home, Brook, it’s late.” If we don’t get Austin out of here, a fight will definitely erupt. And Austin isn’t going anywhere unless Brooklyn leaves with us.
Her eyes flash dangerously before she spits, “I don’t want to go anywhere with him.”
“That’s fine, but it’s still time to go.” Then I whisper, “You don’t know that guy, you don’t know anything about him.”
She levels a hard gaze at Austin. “Well, I bet he doesn’t cheat with hockey whores.”
“I didn’t cheat on you,” Austin explodes, his arms flailing wide, “you won’t even let me explain what happened. You just assumed I cheated and took off.” He looks ready to explode.
Brooklyn narrows her eyes which are just a touch blurry before she sneers, “Trust me, I saw enough to know what was going down. And if I had stumbled upon you five minutes later, it would have been that freaking hockey whore!”
Making a concerted effort to calm himself, Austin steps just a bit closer to her before lowering his voice. “Baby, please, I wouldn’t cheat on you. You have to seriously know that. Give me a chance to explain and if you don’t want to see me after that, then I’ll leave you alone but don’t go home with this tool just because you’re pissed at me.”
Brooklyn still looks like a firework ready to go off but she doesn’t look quite as angry as she had just a few short minutes ago. Breathing a sigh of relief, I loop my arm through hers. “Let’s go, Brook. I’m tired.”
Still looking disgruntled, she continues to scowl at him. “Fine.”
Austin must be feeling optimistic because he reaches out, softly stroking his fingers up and down her arm. “Come back to my place. We can talk and if you want me to drive you home after that, I will. Promise.”
“No,” looking resolute, she shakes her head, “we can meet for coffee in the morning. There’s no way in hell I’m going home with you tonight.” Then she mutters, “I want to be clear headed when we discuss this otherwise you’ll just talk me right back into bed.”
One corner of Austin’s mouth slides up at her words. He arches his brows before asking in a hushed tone, “Would that really be so bad?”
“Yes.” She snarls, “I would only hate myself in the morning.” Then she levels a hard glare at him. “And you.”
Finally getting the point, he holds up his hands. “Okay, then we’ll discuss it in the morning over breakfast. I’ll pick you up at nine.”
Not replying, she rolls her eyes before stomping away.
“Brooklyn,” yells the guy she had been dancing with. A lazy smile curves his mouth upward. “You know where to find me when you’re finally done with his cheating ass.” Then he gives her a little wink.
Austin sends the guy a death glare before finally stalking out after Brooklyn. Cole wraps his arm around me as we share a relieved look.
We end up having to walk half a block down the street to Cole’s car. The short drive to the dorms is an uncomfortably silent one with Brooklyn staring sulkily out the window and Austin trying to cajole her into a more receptive mood of which she is having none of. Just as Cole parks in front of the dorms, Brooklyn shoots quickly out of the car with Austin hot on her heels.
As I glance over at Cole, his eyes are already on mine. His fingers come up to slowly trace the fullness of my lower lip. “Stay with me tonight.”
He says the words softly and even though they arrow straight to my heart, I slowly shake my head. “I can’t. Brooklyn needs me right now.”
Not trying to talk me out of my decision, he reaches over, dragging my hand onto his lap before finally asking, “Are we okay?”
My eyes widen in the darkness before I whisper, “I thought we were.” I had actually thought we were better than okay.
He nods, glancing down at our entwined fingers before saying carefully, “I’m not some crazy jealous guy and I don’t want you to think that I don’t trust you, because I do. It’s just…” his words slowly fall off before he finally flicks his tawny colored eyes up to mine, “I’ve been burned before. And I don’t want to go through that again. Does that make sense?”
With my heart aching, I squeeze his fingers tightly with my own. “Of course it does.”
Dragging a hand through his hair, he looks decidedly uncomfortable before adding, “You have your issues and I have mine.”
I guess I never considered that maybe Cole had been hurt before or had triggers of his own… just like I do.
It’s the thought of some other girl hurting him that somehow makes me want to be all the more careful with him, with what is unfolding between us. Cole has always been so cautious with me. With my feeling. I want to be just as careful with his. Reaching out my other hand, I softly stroke his stubble cov
ered cheek. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“There’s still quite a bit we don’t know about each other.”
I take a deep breath knowing that he’s referring to the past I’m constantly trying to dodge.
For just a moment, I turn an idea over in my head. Before I’m able to give it too much thought, I force the words out. I just need to get it over with. I’m so damn tired of my past standing between us. I think about the upcoming week and when our schedules will mesh. “Why don’t we go out to dinner on Wednesday? We can sit down and talk everything out.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want desperately to inhale them back in. My insides tremble and churn even thinking about opening up all those old wounds again.
He smiles and for the first time since I’ve seen him tonight, looks genuinely happy. Even his dimples are flashing. “That sounds good. How about I pick you up at seven after practice?”
I nod, unable to believe that I’ve set this plan in motion. That I’m really going to do this.
Suddenly needing the physical contact, I lean over, gently stroking my lips across his. Groaning, he hauls my body even closer until I’m straddling his lap in the driver’s seat of his Mustang. His hands slip easily under my sweater as he nips at my mouth. His erection is nestled against me and I can’t stop the slight whimper that falls from my lips. Especially when I think about just how completely mind blowing it felt to have him buried deep inside me. And suddenly I can’t stop from grinding myself against him.
“Come home with me, Cassidy,” he begs huskily between long deep kisses that leave me breathless and achy. Thick hot licks of desire slowly spread their way through my body.
I moan long and low against his lips as he grinds his jean covered erection against me. I think my eyes are on the verge of crossing because I want so very badly to go back to his place but I can’t. I can’t leave Brooklyn. Not when I was already MIA during the actual breakup. I’m about to tell him no when the passenger door is wrenched open and Austin stares down at us with a raised brow and a slight smirk marring his handsome face.
“Sorry, dude, if I’m not getting any tonight, neither are you.” He jerks his thumb at me. “Out of the car, Cassidy.” Honestly… he doesn’t seem all that sorry to have disturbed us. But it’s for the best. Ten more minutes, maybe even less, and we might have actually started going at it in his car which is parked right outside my dorm.
I make a noise that is something between a groan and a chuckle just as Cole kisses me again.
“Oh for Christ’s sake, people, let’s go.” Then he adds, “I’d tell you to get a room, but I think you’d actually do it.”
“Give us a minute,” Cole grumbles just before his lips stroke over mine. Heating me up all over again. His kisses are seriously dangerous. And I love it. Love that they belong to me and me alone.
Austin pounds on the top of the car with his hand as he waits for me to finally climb out. As I do, I straighten my clothing all the while eyeing him. I probably should feel embarrassed to be caught in such a compromising position… but I don’t. Not one damn bit. I almost smile at the thought. Instead of smiling, my expression becomes stern as I hold Austin’s eyes. “I hope for your sake that you didn’t cheat on her. She’ll never forgive you.”
The smirk falls from his lips as a solemn look replaces the grin. “I swear I didn’t cheat on her, Cassidy. And somehow I’m going to prove it.”
I nod my head just once before turning towards the dorms. I hope for both Brooklyn and Austin’s sake they’re able to work through their issues. Even though she’s royally pissed, I think she really cares about him. And I say that because I’ve never seen her upset over a guy before. She usually flits from one boy to another without so much as a backwards glance. And that doesn’t seem to be the case this time.
Chapter Twenty-O ne
“So, it’s been two full weeks since I last saw you, tell me how everything is going.” Dr. Thompson quickly skims over her notes before her eyes arrow back to mine. She smiles, waiting for me to fill her in.
Taking a deep breath, I silently marvel at my answer. “It’s good.” Pausing, my mind tumbles over the last couple of weeks before repeating, “It’s actually really good.” And seriously, when was the last time I’d said that? It feels like forever. And it’s the best damn feeling in the world. Six months ago, I’d been teetering on the brink of depression. Feeling anxious. Disheartened about what the future held for me and now… now everything feels fantastic. Amazing. And yeah, I feel kind of amazing.
She smiles, clearly happy to see me flourishing. “And school? Is that going well, too?”
“I’ve still got all A’s. I’m actually planning on speaking with a few of my professors about changing some of my courses for next semester. But I don’t think that should be a problem. I’m really enjoying my psych class right now. The subject matter is so interesting.” I pause, deciding to be totally honest about what I’ve been considering. “I’m thinking about changing my major to psychology and maybe going into counseling.”
There. I actually said the words. Out loud. To another human being.
Her brows rise before she slowly nods. “That’s a wonderful idea, Cassidy. It’s definitely worth researching. I know the university has some excellent internship opportunities available to their students. And what about tutoring? Is that still working out? The hours are still flexible enough for you?”
“I’m working about ten hours a week at the tutoring center. And I’m still really liking it.” Shrugging my shoulders, a small smile tugs at the corners of my lips. “So many people hate math but I love it. And I really enjoy being able to help other students understand it too.”
“Hmm. You’re right, not many people feel that way about mathematics. You might want to consider going into a teaching program. I think you would be an excellent teacher. It’s just another option to consider.”
This is the first time in more than a year that I feel like the possibilities for my future are limitless. That I can do whatever I want as long as I commit myself and work hard. “After failing out last year, I wasn’t sure if I’d have the grades to get into a teaching program.” It’s hard to say those words out loud. Even here in Dr. Thompson’s office where I feel completely safe.
Looking thoughtful, she nods. “Well, that’s true. Getting accepted into the school of education is usually quite difficult but I think that if it’s something you’re seriously interested in, we can find a way. Just think about it. You have time before you need to make any big decisions. You could also set up an appointment at the career counseling center. They could help you research both professions.”
Feeling suddenly lighter, I nod before agreeing, “Okay, I’ll do that.”
“And how about the hockey team? Still enjoying it as much as you were before?”
I can’t help the wide grin that spreads its way across my face. “I absolutely love it. Sometimes I feel like I’m enjoying it more than any other team I’ve played on because there’s zero pressure for me to perform. Hockey actually feels fun again. Just like it used to before my dad started planning my entire future around it. Where I’d go to school. All the camps and clinics. All the extra practices and workouts.” Somewhere along the way hockey had stopped being enjoyable. It had become a job. One I had to be perfect at. “I don’t have to worry about that anymore.” Finally I murmur, “I can just focus on the game, on playing. I can enjoy myself. After getting kicked off the team last year, I never expected to play again but it feels great to be out there.”
Dr. Thompson smiles. “And isn’t that nice? To play for yourself. To have fun. It seems like somewhere along the way, that piece of it got lost. I’m glad you were able to find it again. When was the last time you actually enjoyed playing hockey?”
The smile slips from my face as my mind tumbles back in time. Years. It has to be years…
Finally I shake my head. “I don’t even remember. Probably elementary school, before I started playing travel.
” Although I enjoyed being a part of an all girls’ team, that was when the pressure to stand out became more intense.
Leaning forward, her eyes sharpen as they hold mine. “Now it’s just about you enjoying the game you love.”
“Yes,” I agree, “It is. I don’t have to worry about impressing coaches or colleges,” then I add a little more softly, “or my dad.” Once the words leave from my lips, a pang ripples through my heart.
She nods as if understanding exactly how much that admission hurt. “I’m glad you realize that. In a way, you ended up releasing yourself from the constant pressure you had been under for years.”
Taken aback by her meaning, I whisper, “Are you saying that I sabotaged myself last year on purpose?”
She merely holds my eyes. “I don’t have an answer to that.”
Almost blindly I stare down at my fingers which are tightly knotted in my lap. I’d spent a lot of time thinking about the hows and whys of my self-destruction. In hindsight, I had been a ticking time bomb. And when I had detonated… not only had I destroyed myself but the relationship I’d had with my family as well. Glancing back up, my eyes skewer hers. “I think the pressure of playing at such an intense level, attending such a rigorous school, needing to be perfect… it all just got to me.”
“But you’re not feeling that way now with classes and hockey and working, are you?”
“No,” I answer quietly. “Everything feels totally different.” I’m not worried about self-destructing. That will never happen again. Because I won’t let it. I’m more in control than I ever was before. I now have a much better understanding of myself. Of what I can handle and what I can’t. And my dad is no longer running my life. I think that was part of it to. Up until I’d left for school, he had regimented my entire life. I simply followed the schedule and didn’t ask questions. Without him, I had fallen apart.
I can’t help but shake my head because that sounds so pathetic.
“Have you learned anything from that experience? Is there anything good you can take away from it?”
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