“Do you have a girlfriend?” I had to know and I couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t want to pretend that it didn’t matter to me.
“No.” He looked so handsome when he smiled. It was the same smile he’d always worn, even though he wasn’t a boy anymore. The guy sitting across from me was definitely a man. His face had matured—it was all sharp edges and I could see his muscles straining through his T-shirt. I’d always been attracted to Teddy—but now, I felt myself getting turned on just by looking at him. My eyes filled with happiness to learn that he didn’t have a girlfriend. Then just as quickly, I frowned. A guy as hot as him must have girls crawling all over. And what about devil girl? If she wasn’t his girlfriend, then what was she to him? A friend with benefits?
“What about the girl I saw you with?” I tried to make it sound like a casual question. I didn’t want him to know that I was jealous of some girl I’d only seen once.
“She’s just a friend. Nothing more.” Happiness flooded my face once again. Teddy was a free agent. “Her name is Heidi. She was the one who dragged me out. If it hadn’t been for her I wouldn’t have run into you.” I’d have to remember to thank her if I ever saw her again.
The waitress arrived and took our order. As soon as she walked away we resumed our conversation.
“What about you? Are you and Aidan still an item?” Teddy’s jaw clenched. It was quick, but I noticed. Did that mean he hoped we weren’t together?
“We broke up.” He didn’t say he was happy, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was.
Maybe our time had finally arrived. It appeared as if all the stars were lining up. For the first time in years neither one of us was in a relationship, and we were both living in the same city.
“So, what have you been up to the past year and a half? I can’t believe how long it’s been.” Again I felt my face get warm as my guilty conscience revealed itself.
“I graduated from high school.” It was only five months ago, but it felt like much longer. “And now I’m a freshman at Parsons.”
“That’s great. You’re studying photography, right?” I’d followed him around for years to his cross-country and track meets, taking pictures for the yearbook. He hadn’t always appreciated it either. He blamed me for causing him to stumble and fall during the steeplechase his junior year.
“Yes.”
“What kind of photographer do you want to be? Sports?” He teased. It seemed like he’d been reliving the same memory.
“Very funny.” It felt good to flirt with Teddy again. “Fashion.”
His golden eyes took on a warm glow. “That makes more sense.”
“What about you? What are you studying?”
“Cyber Security with a minor in Mathematics.”
I laughed. “Of course you are.” Teddy had been a nerd in high school and obviously that hadn’t changed. What he didn’t know was that it turned me on. Teddy’s laughter joined mine. His laugh was deep and sexy as hell, making parts of my body scream for attention.
The waitress arrived with our food. She placed a giant burger with the works in front of Teddy and an order of French toast in front of me.
“Brunch.” Teddy joked. Between the two us we had ordered brunch.
“How is Eli?”
“He’s good. He’s at Georgetown.” He leaned in closer to my ear conspiratorially. “He has a serious girlfriend. They’ve been together for over a year.”
“Good for him. I always thought he was one of the good guys.” I liked Eli and I was happy to learn that he was doing well.
Teddy feigned hurt. “What about me? Don’t you think I’m one of the good guys?”
“The best.” I gave him a wide smile and it stayed there the whole time we ate. This was one the best days in a long time. Time sped by and soon we were both done. The waitress returned for our empty plates and dropped off the check.
“Here. Let me pay my share.” I reached into my purse and pulled out my money.
“No way, Stella. My treat. I invited you on this date.” His eyes burned into mine and I could barely breathe. A date! It was finally happening! Teddy still wanted me and we could give this thing between us a chance. The time was right. The time was now.
“Next time, I’m paying.” My voice was rough. I couldn’t wait to see him again and this way it would be guaranteed.
“I like the sound of that.” Teddy’s voice sounded just as rough and raw as my own. “I’d invite you to hang out longer, but I can’t. I have to tutor someone in an hour.” He looked at his watch.
“It’s okay. I have a project I need to work on.”
While Teddy looked over the bill and paid, I went to use the bathroom.
“Are you ready?” Teddy was frowning when I got back. I knew he didn’t like to be late, but I was gone less then five minutes.
“Yeah.”
We left and walked back to the station. Silence fell between us once again. It was time to say goodbye. We stood staring at each other in the subway station, neither one looking away. It was like the night at the party when we just stood there on the sidewalk drinking each other in. I was almost gasping for air and we weren’t doing anything other than looking at each other. I licked my lips. Was Teddy going to kiss me? I wanted him to kiss me so badly it hurt. He took a step closer until we were only an inch a part. My heart pounded loudly and I swore I could hear Teddy’s too. He leaned toward me and I closed my eyes. And then—nothing. Instead of feeling his warm breath, I felt cold stale city air. I opened my eyes. He took a step back. I didn’t understand what just happened. I was sure he was going to kiss me and then he didn’t. Maybe he didn’t want our first real kiss to happen in a dirty subway station.
“Bye, Stella.” He ran his fingers down my cheek.
“Bye, Teddy.”
We went our opposite ways. I called out to him that I’d call him this week.
Once on the train, I pulled out my phone. I had shoved it in my pocket as we left, after almost forgetting it on the table. Thank God Teddy reminded me to pick it up. I didn’t have the cash to buy a new one if I lost this one.
Damn! Another text from Reed. When was he going to stop bothering me? I was seriously thinking about changing my number. This was the worst one yet. It made me blush all the way to my toes. He’d made a reference to wanting to go balls-deep inside of me from behind. Disgusting. I quickly deleted it and jammed it back in my pocket, deciding instead to focus on my date with Teddy.
I stumbled back into my dorm room feeling drunk on love. Tori and Lena were sitting at their desks doing homework. It must be Tori’s turn to pick the music because Blake Shelton was blasting throughout the room.
“I’m back.”
“Get your Yankee ass over her and tell us how it went.” Tori swore more than anyone I’d ever met. It seemed like a contradiction to her small size. But if there was one thing I’d learned about her over the past couple of months, it was that she had a big personality hiding inside of her petite frame.
“It was great.”
“Did he ask you out again?”
“Sort of.” I didn’t want to have any negative thoughts. It had been a great first date. “We’re taking the train home together at Thanksgiving, but he said he has projects due before break. He’s a cyber security major with a concentration in mathematics.”
“What the hell does that mean? Are you speaking English?” Lena giggled.
“Who knows and who the fuck cares? Right now we have to find you something to wear for the train.” Tori had us ready and out the door in ten minutes flat.
Stepping into one of her favorite stores in SoHo with Lena and I at her heels, we began to browse in search of the perfect outfit.
Lena held up a blue sweater with lace in the back. “You’d look hot in this.” I liked it—a lot. “It matches the color of your eyes.”
Tori nodded her approval. She continued to walk through the store. She grabbed a bandeau off a table and held it up. “It would look sexy
with this under it.”
I looked between my two friends. They were Teddy’s biggest fans, even though Tori hadn’t even met him and Lena had only seen him once. They were both eager for things to work out between us. They understood how much he meant to me. It was amazing. Once I’d told them how I felt about Teddy, it was like opening a dam. They’d listened to me go on and on about him. Telling them what it was like to grow up with him and how I’d done childish things to get his attention, like the time in elementary school when I’d sat in his seat on the back of the school bus hoping that he’d sit down next to me, but he’d been put out and stormed to the front instead. I also told them how I’d put my feet up on his dashboard when I rode with him to school, so that he could have a good view of my legs. Neither one could believe how stupid he’d been not to take the hint. This time I knew things would be different. My friends had my back.
“Do you think it will match my tight velvet black skirt with the skulls?” I’d caught Teddy admiring my legs countless times and I wanted to wear a skirt on the train ride home.
“Hell, yeah.” Tori nodded in approval.
I took the clothes from them and paid.
“You need shoes.” Tori pulled me into a store a little further down the street. She had a serious shoe problem. She had so many pairs that I didn’t know where she’d put more. They were taking over her side of the room.
I looked around. I didn’t see any I liked and I couldn’t have afforded them anyway. I had to be careful with my spending. The pair that Tori held up were $800. “I’m going to wear my black boots.” I had a feeling Teddy would like them. They were suede and thigh-high.
“He’s not going to survive the ride,” said Lena.
“That’s the idea.” I smiled.
Theo
I slowed to a walk. As soon as I’d gotten home from meeting up with Stella, I’d changed into running clothes and headed out, running ten miles. I’d rescheduled my tutoring session for later in the day, something I’ve never done. I walked a few more blocks but it didn’t lessen the rage inside me. It burned fiercely. I kicked an empty can lying on the sidewalk. Fuck! I was such an idiot. Stella might not be dating Aidan anymore, but she’d had one waiting in the wings. I should have known better! She was beautiful and guys took notice. All throughout high school I’d sat back and listened to guy after guy brag about how she willingly opened her legs for them. I rubbed my jaw. It ached from clenching my teeth together so tightly. It was the only way I could contain my anger. I thought things would be different now that we were older.
I thought Stella had changed. She seemed so happy that I’d called and asked her out. As soon as we sat down she asked me if I had a girlfriend—putting it right out there—and she smiled so wide when I said that I didn’t. I guess I read that wrong. At least she had the decency not to lie to me this time. I’d asked her if Aidan was her boyfriend and she’d said no. I should’ve been more specific. I should’ve asked her if she was dating anyone at all. I’d found out the hard way. When she went to the bathroom her phone went off. I didn’t mean to look, but the screen lit up and it was right there in front of my eyes. Some douchebag named Reed said he wanted to go balls deep in her from behind while she was on all fours. When I read that I almost tipped the whole table over, I’d been so fucking pissed off. It took everything I had to keep it together and not let on that I knew. I could’ve called her on her shit, but it wasn’t like she’d made me any promises during brunch, other than to give me a call and take the train with me at Thanksgiving. I was the dumbass for misinterpreting our date to mean something more than two old friends getting together.
I almost kissed her in the subway station, but then I changed my mind. That hadn’t worked for me the last two times and I wasn’t about to put myself out there again, only to be let down. Stella wasn’t into me. Plain and simple. It hurt, but there was nothing I could do. I didn’t have a choice anymore—I had to forget her.
Stella
I never did get the chance to call Teddy. My agent set up a modeling job for me. It was a two-day photo shoot. I needed the money. Also I liked the perspective it gave me. I preferred to be the girl behind the camera, but it made me a better photographer to know what it was like to be out in front.
“Look over your left shoulder and give me a hint of a smile.” Eric called the shots, snapping lots of pictures. I concentrated on following his directions. It was easy because I thought about Teddy. For example, to produce a hint of a smile I thought about all the times I’d looked at Teddy through my eyelashes, not wanting to give away too much, but a little something to pull him in.
“Perfect. Now turn and look right at the camera. We want sexy.” This time I thought about Teddy and his reaction to seeing me in the outfit I planned to wear when he saw me again. Bare legs, lots of skin, and tight in all the right places. Sexy was exactly what I was going for.
“Good, but I want more.”
I envisioned being a room alone with Teddy. His bedroom. It would be neat and orderly just like him. That thought made me smile. I’d grab a hold of the bottom of my sweater and pull it off over my head, slowly and teasingly. He’d step closer to me and run his long fingers over my bare skin. I was beginning to get breathless in the middle of the studio. I lifted my hair off my neck and looked at the camera with lustful eyes.
“That’s it,” Eric encouraged.
Next I imagined Teddy’s lips on my throat and I tilted my head up to give him better access. I heard Eric snapping away and moving around, taking pictures from different angles. I slowly let my hair back down and moved my hands down my stomach.
“Beautiful. Fucking beautiful.” He stood up and looked at his preview screen. “I think that’s good for now. Take a fifteen-minute break. I want to switch things around a bit.”
I nodded. I was so turned on by thinking about Teddy and all the things I wanted to do with him that I couldn’t speak. I sat down and drank a cold cup of water. I thought about calling him or sending him a text, but I didn’t have my phone. I’d left it back in the dorms. I’d call him as soon as I got back. Maybe we could hang out again. I couldn’t get Teddy or our upcoming trip home out of my mind. A few minutes later when Eric announced he was ready to begin again, my heart rate was still racing.
Theo
I arrived at the train station fifteen minutes early, even though I was dragging ass. I grabbed a coffee and I didn’t even care that it tasted like drinking motor oil fresh out of the can. I desperately needed caffeine. I was out late last night, blowing off steam after my last exam. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving turned out to be a big party night and my buddies and I got shitfaced. I plopped down on a bench to wait for Stella.
I drank my coffee and checked email on my phone. Soon it was almost 10 a.m. and no sign of Stella. I sighed. I used my cell to call her. It wasn’t like her to be late. She’d been waiting by my car every morning when I drove her ass to school. Shit! Why wasn’t she answering her phone? I rubbed my neck and scanned the surrounding area again. She wasn’t there.
I tried her phone again and paced back and forth. There were only ten minutes left before our train pulled out of the station. I was going to be pissed if we missed it and it wasn’t like I could leave without her. Fuck! My hangover was making it difficult to think clearly. I didn’t know what to do. Scenarios started running through my head—Stella falling down the subway stairs with her suitcase and breaking her neck, Stella darting out to hail a taxi and getting run over, Stella getting stabbed in the chest by a lunatic after refusing to hand over her suitcase. I dialed her number and got her voicemail—again! Shit!
I picked up my bag. I’d start by going to her apartment. My mom had given me Stella’s address back in September, in case I wanted to stalk her, I guess, but right now I was glad she had. I took several steps toward the exit when I saw a flash of platinum heading my way. Instantly I exhaled, releasing the tension and panic I’d been holding in. Stella. She was okay. She wasn’t lying dead somewhere. She
was running toward me. I wanted to meet her halfway, pick her up in my arms, twirl her around—but I didn’t. I waited for her to reach me. I quickly ran my eyes over her from top to bottom to make sure she was okay. Other than the fact that she was out of breath—she seemed fine.
“Thank God, you’re okay.” I breathed a sigh of relief.
Stella blushed and she looked down at her feet. “Sorry, I’m late.” I waited for some big story but she just stood there.
That’s when it hit me. She was fine. Just like the day back in high school when she tagged along at a cross-country meet to take pictures for the yearbook and she hadn’t returned to the bus. I thought something had happened to her—like she got lost on the course or tripped over a tree root and broke her ankle. I took off to find her, only to discover she was fine. She’d been too busy flirting with a fellow teammate that day to notice the time. My anger spiked. “Sorry?” That was all she had to say? I almost had a heart attack thinking about all the bad things that could’ve happened to her.
“I overslept. My alarm didn’t go off. I jumped out of bed when I woke up and saw that it was already 9:25. I got here as quick as I could.”
“I thought you’d died.” I didn’t try to conceal the anger from my voice. Stella was as self-absorbed as she’d always been. “Did it occur to you to call me? And why didn’t you answer your phone?” I knew I sounded like an overprotective mother, but I didn’t care. She needed to know what she’d just put me through. “I was just about to take off to look for you.”
“My phone was dead. I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t. It had 40 percent when I went to bed and it died overnight. That’s why my alarm didn’t go off. I’d set the alarm on my phone.” She held up her phone as proof.
“A simple phone call would’ve been nice, that’s all I’m saying.” I knew I was overreacting, but I was pumping all of my frustrations from the last time I saw Stella into this. “You could’ve borrowed one of your roommate’s.”
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