He needed to satisfy himself she really was okay, to obliterate the memory of his last sight of her—of her agonized face as the medics loaded her into the ambulance. Somehow, the fact he had witnessed her panic in that ambulance made him feel responsible for it. The fact he couldn’t do anything for her had left him feeling helpless.
She’d had plenty of visitors since she had been checked into the hospital. The Garlands had said that much, and they’d mentioned that the staff was taking excellent care of her. She and the babies were in good hands. Still, he needed to see that for himself. Just once.
Inside the hospital, he made his way to the reception desk.
“Shay O’Neill,” he said.
From memory, the teenage volunteer recited the room number and gave him directions for finding it. He considered himself lucky Shay hadn’t left his name and description at the front desk along with a caution to the staff to keep him from visiting her.
After he’d pushed the call button for the elevator, he stared down at his hands. They were trembling. Worse, maybe, they were empty.
On the other side of the lobby he spotted the sign for the hospitality shop. Flowers, candy, stuffed animals and balloons filled the shelves inside. He could take his pick.
A stuffed tiger and a lion, both sporting blue bows, seemed to call to him to take them from the shelf. He also chose a plush gray elephant wearing a big pink-and-white-striped neck ruffle. At the last moment, he grabbed a large ceramic mug with a couple of balloons tied to the handle and “Mom” stenciled in both pink and blue multiple times around the outside.
“This looks just right for the new mother of a few kids, doesn’t it,” he said to the clerk at the register.
“Shay will love it.”
Stunned, he stared at her. Maybe his description had been circulated throughout the hospital. After all, the day Shay had been brought here, no one had wanted him hanging around. Not Annabel. Not Mo or Jed. And especially not Shay.
Then he realized...small town, small hospital, three babies. It couldn’t have been a stretch for the clerk to figure out his reference to a mother with multiple kids.
He left the shop with his arms full, refusing to admit even to himself that he needed all this as an excuse for his visit.
When he reached the room, he felt immensely thankful to have something to hold on to. He spotted Shay first, sitting in a padded chair with wooden arms and legs. Her wheat-blond hair was ruffled, as if she’d rested her head against the chair for a nap. He wanted to reach out and smooth the strands into place. Instead, he clutched his peace offerings.
She seemed sleepy, her attention unfocused—until she registered him standing in the doorway. She said nothing, which made him doubly glad to have something to do with his unsteady hands.
She glanced past him to the doorway, maybe hoping someone would come along to kick him out. Then she stared across the room, as if searching for an answer from the babies. Finally, she looked back at him.
“Hey,” he said, raising his purchases slightly. “I’m in charge of the new-baby welcome wagon.” Stupidest remark he’d ever made. And yet his heart lightened when her lips curled slightly in a reluctant one-sided smile. “How are you doing?”
“Okay.”
That didn’t tell him much more than “fine.”
“Are you sleeping all right?”
“Sleep? What’s that?”
At least she still had a sense of humor. “Eating okay?”
She nodded. “I have to, since I’m feeding three.”
“So.” He cleared his throat. “Mind if I come in?”
“You already have.”
It wasn’t the warmest reply he might have gotten, but it would have to do. A look around him proved, sure enough, he had edged a step into the room. He couldn’t back out now.
“Thought you might like this.” He gestured with the mug and crossed the space between them to set it on the small table beside her. The balloons scuttled sideways above them like clouds in a driving wind.
“Thanks.”
Smiling, he shrugged and held up the animals. “Didn’t want anybody feeling left out.”
She nodded, her eyes suddenly glistening.
Just as suddenly, he couldn’t think of another thing to say.
Over against one wall, three cribs stood in a row.
“Want to take a peek?” she asked.
His throat tightened, and now he couldn’t have spoken even if he’d come up with something else to discuss. Jed and Paz had said the babies were in a special room of their own. He hadn’t thought about seeing them here. He didn’t intend to walk over to them. But when a new mom sat looking at you the way Shay looked at him, you really didn’t have a choice.
He clutched the stuffed animals, took a deep breath and nodded. As he took his first steps across the room, his legs threatened to give way. He attempted to tread lightly, not wanting the sound of his boots clomping on the tile floor to startle the occupants of the cribs.
He needn’t have worried. They all looked sound asleep.
His throat tightened another notch. The babies were tinier than he’d expected and wrapped in blankets, blue for the boys and a pink one for the girl. He had heard Paz tell Tina and Jane their names and the order of their births. The same as the order of their cribs, with each name posted on a plastic card at the headboard.
Timothy. Jamie. Bree.
Gripping the stuffed animals, he looked down at the babies again.
Jamie and Bree lay curled up, completely covered and apparently comfortable in their blankets. Big brother Timothy had worked one hand free. On the edge of the blanket he had rested his fist, no bigger than a walnut and just about as wrinkled.
The sight of that fist, of the babies themselves, suddenly made it hard for him to catch his breath.
“They...uh...they’ve had jaundice,” Shay said softly.
He hadn’t heard her come up beside him. “They’re—” His voice cracked. He tried again. “They’re okay, though? They’ll get over that?”
She nodded. “They’re better now.”
“When do you get to take them home?”
“Dr. Grayden says if all goes well with their checkups tomorrow morning, he’ll release them then.”
“That’s good.”
“Yes.” She paused. “I appreciate all you did...the other day.”
He nodded.
They stood beside each other, staring down at the cribs.
Finally, she sighed. “Well...thank you for the gifts,” she said stiffly. Formally. In a tone meant to tell him his visit had ended.
He gestured with the toys in his arms. “What should I do with these? Put them in the cribs?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think the nurses would go for that.” A moment later, she said, “Maybe you should leave them at the Hitching Post. I can pick them up from there.”
After you’ve gone.
That’s what she meant. This time, both her tone and her expression got her message across. “You don’t want me here, do you?”
She didn’t answer. Her silence bothered him. He hadn’t intended to stay once he’d seen her. He had only wanted to satisfy himself she was all right. He had done that now, hadn’t he? And yet he didn’t move. This standoff reminded him of the day he had first come to the hospital.
“When they brought you in, I followed you,” he blurted. “Followed the ambulance, I mean. They wouldn’t let me ride with you. Downstairs, they wouldn’t tell me what was going on. Not a word about how you were doing. Nothing about the babies’ conditions. They shut me out, as if I had no rights at all.”
For a moment, her expression froze. Her eyes seem to dull. She took a deep breath and sighed again. “I don’t understand,” she said finally, pacing her words. “You’ve already told me you don’t want to be a fa
ther. You don’t want a family. So why would it matter to you? Why do you even care about rights?”
Chapter Eleven
Tyler must not have realized how upset he had sounded. For a long moment Shay teetered on the brink of believing he cared about her and the babies more than he wanted her to know. After all, there he stood holding an armful of gifts for the triplets. Then she weighed her belief against what he had said that night at the Big Dipper.
Evidently her reminder about his not wanting kids or a family had hit home. Now, he said nothing. Her slim hope he had changed his mind disappeared as rapidly as the light left his eyes.
“You’ve got a point,” he said.
“I thought so.”
“But that doesn’t do away with my obligations.”
From the hallway, the rattle of a hospital cart on the tile flooring alerted her that Patsy, the day nurse, was on her way into the room. “You should go,” she said quickly. “Morning visiting hours will be ending soon.”
“I didn’t hear an announcement.”
“They don’t broadcast that over the speakers in this wing. It’s intensive care. But visits here are limited.”
Patsy entered the room, pushing the cart ahead of her. “Lunchtime,” she announced. “Ah, I see we have someone new to help today. Won’t that be nice?”
Shay forced a smile. “He’s just leaving.”
From pure contrariness, she was sure, Tyler smiled at the nurse. Or maybe he had the reaction so practiced, he never had to think about it twice. The grandmotherly nurse responded to his playboy smile the way she had done at first sight, too—like a teenager in danger of breaking out in giggles at the attention of a cute boy.
“No, I’m not leaving yet.” He set the animals on the edge of her bed. “Happy to lend a hand. What can I do? Clear off the table for Mom’s lunch tray?”
And yes, Patsy giggled. “It’s not Mom who’s eating now, it’s the babies.”
The look of alarm on Tyler’s face almost made up for his insistence on sticking around. Almost. He had been right a few minutes ago—she didn’t want him here.
For their maternity patients, the hospital allowed a spouse more visiting time. If she had listed him as the father on her admittance forms, he could have been with her and the babies most of the day. As she had a private room, he could have stayed overnight. Her heart hurt at the loss of too many could-haves.
“Since I don’t see any other visitors,” Patsy went on, “I’m sure Mom will appreciate your help. So will I. Three babies are too much for one person to handle alone, and I’ve got to go check on a new patient we’ve just admitted. So let’s get this assembly line going. Shall we start with Timothy, Shay, since he’s always the one most interested in his bottle?”
“Yes,” she said, trying to sound cheerful. Trying for the babies’ sakes not to get upset.
As much as she longed to toss Tyler out of her room, she didn’t dare. He had agreed with her point about his not caring about her babies. But he had pushed the issue about his obligations. If she spoke up, she wouldn’t put it past him to claim his parental rights here and now.
Patsy wheeled the cart close to the bedside table and transferred the babies’ bottles. Then she turned her attention back to him. “Your name is...”
“Tyler.”
“All right, then, Tyler. Follow my lead. All you’ll be required to do is carry the babies back and forth from their beds. Mom does all the rest.”
She went to Timothy’s crib. “Now, just in case you’ve never been told, what’s most important with the little ones, infants especially, is that you support their heads. Both with lifting and while holding the babies. Like this.” After her demonstration, she reached up to hand the baby to Tyler.
He took the infant hesitantly, then seemed at a loss.
Patsy laughed. “It’s all right. Most people are a bit nervous the first few times they handle a newborn.”
With her assistance, he held the baby in one arm. Tyler’s height and the breadth of his shoulders made the blue-wrapped bundle appear even tinier against the black T-shirt snugly fitting his chest. The look of concentration on his face, his slight frown as he adjusted his hold, the careful way he crossed the room as if afraid he might drop her son, all made Shay’s vision blur.
Blinking her eyes rapidly, she kept her head down and her gaze focused on Timothy as Tyler transferred him to her arms. Tyler’s hands looked so big and sturdy as they cradled the baby, felt so warm as they brushed hers. He seemed so in control.
She couldn’t believe that, though, considering he’d held her son for less than a minute. Just as she couldn’t believe in him. This was all a playboy pose for the nurse’s benefit.
* * *
“HAVE YOU HAD a good day, lass?” Grandma asked when she arrived for the afternoon visiting hour.
“A very good day,” Shay said. “Dr. Grayden stopped in to see the babies. He said chances are still good we’ll go home after the checkups tomorrow.”
“Good. The house is quiet without you.”
She laughed. “Enjoy it while you can, Grandma. I don’t think it will ever be quiet again.”
“And that’s not such a bad thing, is it?”
“Not at all.”
“You’ve had other visitors?”
Automatically, Shay’s gaze went to the Mom mug with its colorful balloons and, beside it, the three stuffed animals. The toys sat in a row on the windowsill, a reminder of her babies lined up in their cribs. She had spent too much time this afternoon staring at those gifts. Resolutely, she looked away.
“Layne stopped in on her way to work, at the beginning of this afternoon’s visiting hours.” Feeling guilty, she slid past a mention of the visitor who’d arrived after Grandma had left this morning. But the fewer people who knew about him, the better.
Tyler had stayed longer than she had expected, long enough for her to feed all three babies and for him to tuck them back into their cribs. She had planned to tell him she could handle Bree, who would be the last to eat, so that he could be on his way. But at that point, Patsy had bustled back into the room to check on her tiny patients.
He had made a big show of his expertise in carrying Jamie back to his crib and resettling him, then bringing Bree to Shay, all under Patsy’s smiling approval.
She held back a sigh. The day he had insisted on helping to set up the babies’ room, he had claimed that, after he left Cowboy Creek again, he would send her money for the babies. Seeing him here this morning had only made her wish he wanted to do much more. Yet, she knew better than to expect anything from him.
She looked up to see Grandma watching her and realized her thoughts had distracted her for too long. “You just missed Layne by a few minutes,” she said quickly.
“I’ll see her at SugarPie’s later. Now, I hope you won’t be too upset, but I’ve made arrangements to meet a few of the girls for supper. I may not make it back in time to visit with you tonight.”
“That’s fine. I’m going to try to nap as much as I can between feedings today. It won’t be as easy for me to sleep once I’m home again.”
“I’ll be there to help, of course.”
“Oh, I know you will. But I can’t take up all your time. You’ve got so much going on.”
“And what could be more important than taking care of my own great-grandbabies?”
“What about the knitting circle, and the bridge club, and everything else?”
“They rank far down the list after babies one, two and three.” Mo smiled. “Don’t worry, lass, we’ll work things out. And we’ve got all the ladies coming in to help us.”
For the first few weeks, they would have daily hands-on assistance and the delivery of home-cooked meals from friends. After that, they had made plans to alternate their time with the babies so Shay could get back to work. Despite Grandma’s
telling her not to worry...she worried. Not that Grandma couldn’t handle a baby on her own. But they were talking three babies.
Even as their mom, she wasn’t sure how she would manage, but saying so might add to Grandma’s unspoken concerns.
Luckily, she had other outlets for sharing her worries. Between Layne and Tina and Tina’s cousin Andi, she would have plenty of people to go to when she needed to ask advice...at least, when it came to babies.
* * *
ONE OF SHAY’S biggest worries showed up again for the evening visiting hours. When she heard a familiar tread in the hallway approaching her room, she closed her eyes in dismay, somehow hoping that not being able to see Tyler would mean he had disappeared.
When she opened her eyes again, he stood in the doorway, nearly filling it. Instantly, she thought of the first moment she had seen him, the day of Tina and Cole’s wedding, dressed in a tux with a deep blue tie and cummerbund that made his eyes even bluer. He had walked through the doorway into the Hitching Post’s small chapel looking so tall, so dark-haired and handsome. So hot. Now, she felt that same larger-than-life sensation and a powerful fluttering in her stomach.
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
She blinked, trying to chase the images and feelings away. “No. I was just...resting my eyes.”
“Babies awake?”
“They have been, off and on.”
He hung his Stetson on the corner of the extra visitor’s chair. Then he took the other, quietly pulling it too close to her bed for comfort. So close she could see things she didn’t want to see. This late in the day, his jaw sported a five-o’clock shadow, a dark growth she knew would feel prickly-soft against her fingertips.
He had changed into a long-sleeved white Western shirt that made his eyes look as blue as sapphires. The shirt brought back more memories she didn’t want. She had once opened a shirt just like that one, snap by snap, planning to take it off him. But he’d turned the tables, reaching for the buttons on her blouse.
“You sure you’re not sleeping?”
Starting, she blinked hard, then cleared her throat. “I’m awake. Wh-what are you doing here?”
The Cowboy's Triple Surprise Page 10