by R. M. Walker
Relief swept through her, and she held out both hands. “No, none of you will make me swoon if you touch me; go ahead, I’ll prove it.”
“Ah, shit, Lil, way to stamp on a man’s ego,” Jake pouted, his bottom lip trembled, but his eyes sparkled.
“I’m quite sure you have enough of the female population here swooning over you already,” she said with a wink. “You don’t need me adding to it.”
“Maybe we do,” Nate said. He reached forward and gripped her hands in his. His fingers were long and slim with clean nails. She liked the feel of them, but there were no blinding lights and she hadn’t expected any.
“Nothing, I’m afraid.” She looked at the twins. “Want to play Russian roulette?”
Nate let go of her hands with a laugh. Josh and Jake reached over and took a hand each, and as before, nothing happened. Their grip was firm, and she could see they bit their fingernails.
“Nada,” she said with a laugh. She looked over at Matt. “Wanna try it again?”
He grinned at her, reached out and took her hand from Josh. He brought it towards him and kissed the back of her hand. She laughed, her other hand still held in Jake’s. She felt him tug her his way and then his lips were on the back of her hand.
“Hey, guys, enough.” She laughed, her cheeks firing up again. “You’ll make me swoon.”
“That’s what we were aiming for.” Jake chuckled, and leant back in his chair putting his arm over the back. Josh leant forward, snapping his fingers at her.
“Come on, hand, please,” he commanded. “Nate, we can’t let these two one up us.”
“Not likely.” Nate smirked and held his out to her as well. She lifted her hands, laughing as they kissed the backs of her hands. Nate kept his eyes on hers as he bent over her hand, and she couldn’t stop the laughter that spilled from them teasing her.
“Boys, boys, you have no idea where these hands have been.” She chuckled, trying to get them to let her hands go, but they were holding fast.
“I’m sure you know how to use soap and water,” Nate said with a grin. “It smells like it, anyway.”
“Can I have them back now?” They loosened their hold, and she pulled her hands free, grinning at them.
The overhead bell rang, and Matt got up immediately. He picked up her rubbish and put it on his tray.
“I can take it,” she protested.
“I know you can, but I’m still working towards a swoon from you, don’t spoil it.”
She picked up her bags and stood up, thanking him.
She liked them, she liked them a lot. There was a false start with Nate, but he seemed easier with her now. They were friendly, funny, and they seemed to have accepted her. She knew better than to get too involved with any of them, but she would enjoy their friendship for as long as she was here. And when it came time to move on again, she’d say goodbye and take with her some good memories. If she didn’t make the kind of connection they shared, then it would be for the best.
“What’ve you got next?” Josh asked as they left the canteen.
“French.”
“I’m taking French too,” Nate said and fell into step with her. “I’ll walk with you.”
The others were heading to different subjects, and she said goodbye to them before heading down the corridor with Nate. Now that she was alone with him, she felt a little nervous, wondering if perhaps he was friendly with her for the others.
“What do you have planned for Uni?” he asked as they arrived at the still closed door. There were several students already there, and she recognised a few faces from her Maths class.
“I don’t know yet,” she replied, leaning against the wall.
“Hello, Nate,” came a breathy voice. She saw a pretty girl with long flame coloured hair coming down the corridor. She wore the college uniform of black skirt, white shirt, and black tie with the college crest on it, same as Lily did. Somehow, this girl managed to make it look sexy.
“Connie.” He nodded his head at her but made no move to say anything else to her. Connie looked at Lily and tilted her head.
“You’re new?”
Lily nodded at her. “Just moved in.”
“Let me warn you about Nathan Cohen then. He’s a heartbreaker, aren’t you, Nate? They all are, that lot.”
“Connie, leave it,” he said. Lily watched with interest. Connie shrugged and looked back over her shoulder to where her friends were gathered.
“Whatever. Say hi to Matt for me,” she said and turned to go back to her friends.
Lily looked at Nate. A small muscle worked on the edge of his jaw, and his eyes were hard behind his glasses. He was watching Connie as she leant against the wall turning her back to him. She couldn’t see any signs of anger, or pain in his eyes, but she had an idea that she had been his girlfriend at some point. Whatever it was, it was none of her business.
“Your full name is Nathan?” she asked him. He turned his head without moving his body, and those blue eyes were focused on her.
“Is that all you want to know from that conversation?” he asked.
“I think it’s probably none of my business, not even your name really.” And it wasn’t. She might want to be their friend, but that didn’t give her access to everything about them.
He relaxed his jaw line, and the muscle tick stopped. “She’s Matt’s ex-girlfriend. And no, Nate is not short for Nathan.” He gave her a small grin that she returned without even thinking about.
“Nathaniel?” she asked as the door opened, and the teacher indicated for them to go inside.
“Nope, now shut up, Lily Adair, and come sit with me. There’s a free seat next to me.”
Lily followed him to the back of the classroom and sat down at the shared desk. For some reason, none of them had buddied up. The twins were together obviously, but there was no one sitting next to Matt, and now it seemed as if Nate also had an empty seat beside him. This was their second year of A levels in already established classes, so it was logical to assume that last year they hadn’t been paired with anyone either. She couldn’t help but wonder why.
“Calme, s’il vous plaît, mesdames et messieurs. Tous les téléphones loin ou ils seront confisqués.”
There was a rustle as mobiles were put away into bags.
“She’s not joking either,” Nate murmured. “She’ll confiscate it if she sees it. Which reminds me, on the way home we’ll swap out phone numbers.” He kept his voice low as he spoke, his eyes on the small petite woman that was their French teacher.
He wanted her number and was going to give her his. That was a first for Lily. She’d never swapped out phone numbers with people before. She’d never needed to. She had one contact number on there and that was her mother. She’d never even thought about it before. There’d never been a need to have someone else’s number on her phone. She wondered briefly if she was going to make things difficult for herself when it came time to say goodbye.
“Miss Adair, welcome to my class. This will be your textbook for the year. I’m Madame Fontaine, any questions, please ask.” She stopped beside Lily’s desk and held out the book to her.
Lily took it and looked up at the small woman. Her straw coloured hair was pulled into two braids on either side of her face, her skin was wrinkled with age, but she looked pleasant and her faded blue eyes were kind. She was dressed as if she needed to wear every colour of the rainbow at the same time, but in a weird way, it worked. She was unique.
“Merci, Madame Fontaine,” she said, and received a wide smile in return.
“Bien.” She went back to the front of the class.
Nate nudged her arm gently. “I think I’ve just found a way we can wind up Matt and the twins.” His smirk was wicked. “They’re useless at French.”
“Ohhh, mean,” she whispered back, grinning.
“But satisfying,” he said and sat back in his seat, pushing his glasses up his nose and focusing on Madame Fonta
ine as she started the lesson.
Lily felt a spark of warmth slide through her. Normally at this point in the year she was still trying to fit in. She wouldn't know anyone and would still be sitting on her own and eating on her own at lunchtime. It usually took a few weeks, if not months, before she was included in any established friendships.
But this year? This year was looking far better than any before.
Aye!
The final bell of the day rang, and Lily slid her books into her bag. She groaned when she put it over her head. Now that she had all her textbooks it was heavy. She debated whether she might be better off buying a backpack to make it easier to carry. But she liked her messenger bag. It was a pale grey colour, and she’d decorated it with permanent markers. Each year, for the past six years, she’d added somewhere on the bag the crest of whichever school she was in. Before the year was up she’d add the Heathview crest. As crests went, it would be an easy one to draw. It was three blue wavy lines with an anchor above them, Heathview College in script above it, and Noli Cedero Cognoscere under it. She didn’t know what the Latin meant, but the boys would probably know.
She stopped outside the classroom door, standing to one side to avoid the rush of students. Matt had told her to wait for them and they’d give her a lift home, but there was no sign of them yet. She had no idea where their classrooms were in relation to hers. She just knew that Matt told her they passed this room. But what if they’d forgotten her? They might be friendly in class and at lunch times, but there was no reason why she would stand out enough for them to really bother with her. She checked her watch; there were ten minutes before the bus would leave, stranding her here. She would wait for another couple of minutes and then move on. She’d rearrange her bag, and then when they didn’t turn up it would just look like she was sorting her bag to make it easier to carry, and not that she’d been stood up.
Stood up?
It was a car ride home, not a date. She crouched on the floor pulling her books out of the bag, irritated with herself. She may have found them attractive physically, but that didn’t mean they liked her that way. All they’d offered was a car ride, and here she was acting as if they’d asked her on a date. And if they did ask her, which they wouldn’t, how could she pick between them anyway? She huffed her breath out in annoyance, stuffing her books back into her bag. Now she was being ridiculous, why would she have to choose when there was no likelihood of them liking her that way? She knew Matt had flirted with her, but that was before she’d flipped out on him and he saw what a mess she was. Epilepsy was exhausting, not just for the person who suffered from it, but for the person who cared for them. She couldn’t be left alone for long; she couldn’t drive; she couldn’t even take a bath unless her mum was in the house and even then she had to leave the door open. Why would anyone willingly want to take that on? Who would want to take her on?
She got up, completely annoyed with herself. She never allowed herself to feel sorry for herself. Her mother never allowed her to feel sorry for herself. She had epilepsy, she wasn’t dying. She shouldered her bag and checked her watch. She could wait for five minutes or she’d miss the bus, and there was still no sign of them. The corridor was empty of other students as well now. She ruthlessly shoved down the feelings of disappointed hurt and walked away.
She got as far as the main entrance when she heard her name being called. A rush of relief went through her when she recognised Matt’s voice. They hadn’t forgotten her. She stopped and looked back. They were coming up behind her, the four of them in a row. She sucked in her breath. Individually they were good looking, as a unit they were gorgeous eye candy. She shook her head and shouldered her bag again, she would not embarrass herself by drooling, she was sure that the stupid grin on her face was doing that job for her already.
“Did you forget?” Matt asked as they drew level with her. He reached out and took her bag, slinging it over his own shoulder. She moved to take it back, but he frowned at her.
“I’m still trying to get you to swoon!” Matt mock scolded her. “Let me at least pretend I’m a gentleman.”
“Why didn’t you wait?” Nate caught her attention, and she decided to be honest.
“I thought you’d already gone,” she admitted. She saw the frown between his eyes, but he said no more and started to walk forwards.
“And leave you behind?” Josh exclaimed and slung his arm around her shoulder. “Lily Pad, how could you think that of us? I’m highly offended.” They began walking out of the front entrance and down to the carpark, but Josh didn’t move his arm and Lily didn’t mind.
“How was Diggers?” Jake asked, walking backwards in front of her. “Does he still chuck the board eraser if you muck about?”
“I haven’t found that out yet; no one mucked about today. But I’m debating mucking about just to find out now.” She grinned as she thought of her Geography teacher, Mr Digby, throwing board erasers around the room. He was an imposing figure of a man. Tall and heavyset, with a black beard that made her think of pirates. He wore a three-piece suit with a gold chain pocket watch. His obvious devotion to his subject made him fascinating to listen to, and she’d enjoyed his class a great deal.
“Don’t!” Nate warned. “He has excellent aim.”
“He chucks it at the person? How does he get away with that?”
“This is backwater Cornwall, Lil. They only stopped using the cane last year, and that was because it broke,” Matt said and then chuckled. They came to a stop by a Land Rover in gunmetal grey. It was an older model, mud sticking to the sides and the tyres. Matt stopped by the driver’s door, his eyes on her bag.
“Are these all the crests from the schools you’ve been in?” Matt looked up at her. There was that tiny glint of pity in his whiskey eyes, and it irritated her.
“Yeah, this place will go on there. Oh, by the way, what does the motto mean?” She pushed down the irritation.
“Don’t cease to learn,” Josh answered her. They all gathered around Matt, looking at the different crests she’d drawn. “Are you taking Art here?”
“No.” She shook her head.
“You should, these are really good!” Josh pointed to the crest of Hogwarts that she’d drawn. “Although, I don’t think you went there, did you?”
Lily laughed and shook her head. “No. That’s the only one I want to go to though.”
“You do know it’s not real, don’t you?” Nate teased her.
“Don’t tell me that.” She pouted. “I’ve been telling myself that my owl just keeps getting lost.”
“For six years? It’s not lost, Lil, it’s dead,” Josh said as he came towards her. “C’mon, Lily Pad, front seat for you.” He opened the passenger door for her. She grabbed the handle, put her foot on the step, and hoisted herself up and into the seat.
“I was wondering if you’d make it, or if I’d have to throw you in.” Josh chuckled, closing the door and getting into the back with Jake and Nate.
“Whose seat have I nicked?” she asked, putting her belt on and turning to look back at them. It was quite spacey inside and they weren’t squashed together, so she felt better about taking the front seat.
“It’s a free for all, Lily; a violent, messy, free for all,” Matt drawled. “I have witnessed blood being shed as those three try to get to the front seat before each other.”
“I slipped on the ice!” Jake defended himself. “I grabbed Nate to stop my fall.”
“You shoved me, and it backfired on you!” Nate snorted.
“Well, none of you reprobates have to worry about shoving again, and I won’t have to worry about blood on my seat covers. That seat is now officially Lily… What’s your full name, Lil?”
“Lilith May Adair.”
“Lily May?” Nate sounded it out. “I like it.”
Matt joined the queue of buses leaving the carpark. There were six buses and they were all turning left onto the main road, building up a queue.
“Lilith? You’re a night monster,” Josh sniggered.
Lily looked back at Josh laughing. “I prefer Storm Goddess, actually,” she said with a grin, referring to what her name meant in its original Hebrew.
“Yeah, so do I,” Matt said and looked at her sideways, catching her eye. “You’re a Goddess, Lily. Never a monster.”
“Ah, but you don’t know me yet,” she teased him, covering the pleasure his words gave her. She lifted her hands making claw shapes with her fingers. “I could be anything at all.”
“Why don’t you tell us what you are?” Nate asked, and although his voice was light, she heard an edge of something she couldn’t place. She turned to look back at him. He was sitting in the middle seat.
“I’m just me,” she said, holding his gaze. She had the feeling that he was searching for something, an answer she didn’t even know the question to.
“When are you eighteen, Lil?” Jake asked her.
“End of September.” He rolled his finger indicating he wanted more information. “Twenty-ninth,” she added.
“We’ll celebrate by taking you to the Bootlegger,” Matt spoke up. His words sent a ripple of excitement through her that they wanted to celebrate her birthday with her.
“The what?” She tried for casual, but her heart was going a mile a minute.
“The pub in Trenance. It’s only a small pub that locals use, but it’s a nice place.”
“You’re not eighteen yet,” she pointed out.
“It does pub grub as well. Besides, you’ll be able to drink. It’s a rite of passage, turning eighteen and buying your first drink in a pub with friends,” Jake spoke up.
“We’ll pay,” Matt said. “C’mon, Lil, your eighteenth is a landmark. We can’t just let that slide. Couple of days later we’ll be celebrating Nate’s. Josh and Jake are next month, and mine’s November. We’re all doing it.”
She clenched her hands in her lap and bit her lip. Her birthday was always just her and her mother. It fell close to the start of a new school year, so she’d never known anyone long enough for them to ask when her birthday was. It hadn’t bothered her. She got invited a couple of times through the years to birthday parties of others, but she never imagined having anyone to celebrate her birthday with.