by R. M. Walker
“I’m getting drunk on my birthday. It’s a rite of passage,” Jake mumbled, rubbing the back of his head and glaring at Josh.
“Don’t be an ass, we are not getting drunk on our birthday!”
“There doesn’t have to be a ‘we’ in this, Joshua,” Jake sneered.
“There’s always a ‘we’, Jacob!” Josh snarled at his twin.
“Stop!” Matt got up onto his knees. “I am way too tired to deal with any cuts and bruises you two put on each other. No one is getting drunk on anyone’s birthday. Imagine the chaos if we got out of control because we were drunk. We can’t lose control like that, ever!”
“Jonas would skin you alive, right after I’d kicked you into next week!” Nate snapped.
“Fine,” Jake grumbled, folding his arms. “I just wanted to get drunk once, that was all.”
“Why?” asked Matt in surprise. He rarely heard the word I out of either of their mouths; it was always we. This was obviously something Jake was serious about.
“Just to see what it’s like,” he replied, with a shrug.
“Alright, alright,” Nate said, holding up his hands. “After we’re all eighteen, we’ll get together here and you can get drunk to see what it’s like. But just once and just us here!”
“Don’t look at me when you have a hangover and can’t think through a fucking migraine.” Josh snorted.
“I won’t look at you. I may be sick over you, though.” Jake chuckled and avoided the head slap that was sent his way.
“If you’re sick over me, I’ll make you wash my clothes by hand!” Josh snapped and then ruined it by laughing. “Idiot.”
“Moron.”
“Okay, okay, you two can make up later.” Matt stood up. “I’m going to bed or I’ll never get up in time to pick Lily up. You wanna crash with me or go home?” he asked them.
“Crash with you.” Nate looked at his watch. “It’s well into the witching hours now.”
“Frightened you’ll get turned into a toad?” Josh chuckled, standing up and holding his hand out to Jake to help him up.
“No, but I may not make it to the end of the drive before I pass out.”
They made their way outside. It was pitch black; the moon was almost new and there was no light. An owl hooted and its mate returned the call.
Flashlights were switched on and Nate snapped his fingers, extinguishing the flames in the upper room. The candles fell to the floor, making a thumping noise as they hit the wood. They would stay there until they needed them again.
“We’ll have to bring Lily here,” Matt said as they reached the edge of the woods. The manor ahead of them was dark. There were no lights on in the windows, and Matt knew his parents would be fast asleep now.
“Yeah, during the day, though,” Josh said as they crossed the perfectly mowed lawns. Another owl hooted, but there was no reply this time. They rounded the house and let themselves in through the back door into the boot room. Silently, they crept through the house till they were in Matt’s room. They’d done this hundreds of times over the years. None of their parents were surprised to find in the morning that they were all together, and they never bothered trying to stop it. The four of them had been a unit for as long as any of them could remember, and when they’d reached six and started to develop abilities that were different, they each turned to the other, rather than their parents. They’d instinctively known that if any of their parents found out it would cause trouble, so they were careful to keep it hidden from everyone but each other. Until Jonas.
Nate’s was the only place they didn’t camp down in and that was only because his room was too small. Matt’s room was the usual go to place, though. The manor had spacious, high ceilinged rooms with large sash windows. Matt’s room was no different, and with the bathroom opposite it was the best room for them all to stay together. They were here so often that they each had a change of clothes and nightwear in Matt’s wardrobe.
Josh and Jake dragged out the spare double mattress that Matt kept under his bed and put the sheet over the top that their Aunt June demanded they use when they slept over. They’d have been happy just plopping down fully dressed and sleeping till morning, but Aunt June would have their hides if they did that. Nate and Matt shared the double bed and had done so since their first sleepover at five years old. Matt slept better when they were all in the room, but he never told them.
Once they were all settled, Matt switched off the overhead light and got into bed. Josh and Jake were on the mattress and already half asleep.
“See you in the morning,” Matt spoke up and was rewarded with grunts from the twins. Nate muttered a good night, and it went quiet, save for the snores coming from the foot of the bed.
Moving Again
Lily finished the last piece of toast, her eyes on where her mother was cleaning the top of the counter with a cloth. She’d been scrubbing at the same spot for the past five minutes, and Lily didn’t think it was because it was dirty.
“What’s up?” she asked her quietly.
“Up? Nothing’s up, Lily.” Her mother’s voice was bright. She gave the spot one last swipe and turned to face her, but her smile was strained and her eyes were darting around the room.
“Did you stain the counter?” Lily nodded to the counter. She crossed to the Bristol sink that sat under the mullioned window and washed up her plate.
“No, no. I just needed to clean up.”
“The same spot for five minutes?”
“I hardly think so, dear,” she replied, but it was vague. “Listen, darling, there’s something I’ve been thinking about.”
Lily watched her mother cross to sit at the table, the cloth still in her hands.
“What?”
“I’m not sure here is the best place for us right now. How about we find somewhere else? I was thinking Ireland. We’ve never been there.”
“Ireland?” Lily gaped at her mother, not sure she was hearing her right.
“Yes, dear, I hear parts of it are beautiful, just waiting to be painted.”
“Mum, you’re under contract here. You signed for a year, they gave you a deposit. You said this was perfect. You were looking forward to the challenge of getting the four seasons in one place.”
“I know, but well, things change. I changed. I don’t think I’m feeling it.” Her mother avoided her eyes in favour of a spot on the table that she began to scrub vigorously.
“Mum! You can’t just up and leave, they won’t understand. Hell, I don’t understand.” Lily was flustered, panic was edging into her mind. She couldn’t face moving again. “It’s my final year, Mum. I need these A levels if I want to go to a good Uni somewhere.”
“I know, Lily, but you’ve always managed to settle quickly. It’s still only your first week. You’d fit in somewhere else. You always do.”
The world tipped beneath Lily’s feet. Her hands gripped the edge of the china sink, trying to anchor herself against the rising panic inside her. She didn’t want to leave here. She liked it here, she liked the quaint little cottage with its thatched roof and leaded windows. She liked the beams that ran across her bedroom ceiling. She liked her college, the teachers, and she liked the new friends she’d made. The boys. She liked the boys. She didn’t want to say goodbye to it, to them. Not this quickly anyway.
“Lily, I just think we ought to move on.”
“Mum, please. Listen to me. Every time you’ve wanted to move I’ve never made a fuss, have I? Not even this summer when we moved twice in four weeks! Please, Mum, I don’t want to leave here. Not yet. I’m making friends here, Mum. Real friends.” Desperation crashed through her.
“You’ve always enjoyed moving.” Her mother got up and crossed back to the side. “Besides, you make friends wherever we go.”
“Not this fast, usually it takes me until after Christmas before I’m fully accepted. But this time? I’ve made friends straight away. They’re even going to celebrate my eigh
teenth with me, Mum. I’ve never had that before. I’ve never had friends with me on my birthday.”
Her mother made a noise in the back of her throat. She pushed her hand onto her forehead as her eyes closed. “Lily, Lily, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “It’s been harder on you than I realised.”
“Mum, please…”
There was a knock at the front door, and Lily looked at the clock on the wall. It was gone eight, and she’d missed her lift. Desperation turned to defeat. Her shoulders slumped. “I’ll go. It’s probably the post.”
“No! Wait!” Her mother called out, but Lily was already in the hallway. She opened the cottage door and gave a gasp when she saw the twins standing on either side of the door, leaning on the door frame.
“You’re late, Lily Pad—hey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m… I’m sorry.” She shook her head, her thoughts and emotions all over the place. “Let me get my bag. Sorry.” She turned to see her mother standing in the doorway, her bag in her hands and regret on her face.
“Lily, we’ll talk tonight,” she said as Lily took the bag from her. “Who are your friends?”
Lily closed her eyes and shook her head before looking at her mother. “It won’t matter who they are,” she whispered. She reached forward and kissed her mother’s cheek before going back to where the twins were still waiting for her.
Lily moved past them and shut the door behind her. She looked up, seeing the others waiting in the Land Rover.
“Oversleep?” Matt chuckled as she climbed into the front, putting her bag on the floor at her feet. She heard the twins get in on either side of Nate behind her. She shrugged, trying to swallow the lump that had settled in her throat. A feeling of overwhelming sadness was tugging at her. When her mother said they were moving, they moved. It was as simple as that.
She wasn’t lying when she said she’d never made a fuss, she’d never felt connected with anywhere enough to want to stay. But it was different here, and she realised with a sinking feeling that it was the boys that made the difference. Two days in, and she was sucked in by them.
Two days.
She had to remind herself it was only two days. She didn’t even know them that well. They were kind, good looking, and willing to be her friend. She had never needed friends before. Had never needed the connection that she knew they had. She was always content to drift along, having acquaintances that she could wave goodbye to at the end of the year and not shed a tear. So what made them different?
Nothing.
She was just being silly. They would lose no sleep if she left tomorrow and neither should she. She needed to keep telling herself that.
“Lily?” She felt her shoulder being nudged, and she blinked. She’d been lost in her own thoughts, but Nate snapped her out of it.
“Sorry, I was miles away, what did you say?” She pushed all her emotions down and turned to him.
“I was asking if you wanted to come out with us to Matt’s house after college. Figured you’d like to see the house your mum is going to be painting.
“Dad won’t be there, but Mum will be,” Matt added cheerfully. “She was raving this morning about the sketches your mum has already done.”
Lily turned to look out of her window again, biting her lip. She didn’t know what to do. If her mother suddenly decided to move to Ireland, she would be letting Matt’s parents down. Her mother would pay back the down payment, she knew that, but it would be such a disappointment for them. And professionally, it wouldn’t be good for her reputation. Her mother wouldn’t worry about that, though. She sold every painting she did. An art gallery in London took them and none had ever come back. She worked in oils and the prices on some of the pictures had taken Lily’s breath away, but she knew that there were a few collectors who bought a lot of her work. Some were even anxiously waiting for her next finished work.
“Lily Flower.” Lily felt her shoulder being shaken again, and she realised that they were at college, parked in the same spot as yesterday. She reached down for her bag, and felt a hand on her back.
“You don’t have to come over if you don’t want to,” Matt said quietly. “We won’t hurt you, Lily. We just want to be your friend.”
Lily felt the tears sting her eyes, and she turned her head away quickly, ashamed to cry in front of them. She couldn’t say anything yet, not to Matt at least. He was their son, and if her mother did decide to throw the job in, she wouldn’t want them finding out from him.
“I’d love to, but I don’t think I can make it tonight.” Her voice was thick with unshed tears. She couldn’t look at him as she got out. If they were moving, there really was no point in Lily making this harder than it was. And going by experience, when she got home she’d be helping to pack up again.
“Okay, no worries,” Matt said gently. “Maybe next time.”
Lily bit her lip and nodded jerkily. “I need to use the loo,” she said, keeping her head turned away. “I’ll see you all later. Thanks for the ride.” She turned and made a dash for the front entrance and the safety of the girls’ toilets.
There were a few girls in there, too busy applying makeup and chatting with their friends to notice her. She locked herself into a cubicle and sat on the seat, hugging her bag to her chest. Tears came to her eyes, and she let them slide down her face. She’d never cried at leaving before. She’d never regretted leaving anywhere enough to cry. She was used to coming home on the last day of school to find her mother already talking about where she had decided to move. But she’d never said goodbye to real friends before.
Two Days
She had to remember it was only two days. She didn’t know them that well. So why did it feel as if her heart was being dragged from her chest?
She didn’t know anything about them. She didn’t know what they liked, or didn’t like, to eat. She didn’t know what their favourite colour was, or what music they listened to. She didn’t know any of a hundred things people knew about their friends.
But she did know that they were kind. That Nate had picked up her when she needed it most. She knew that when he held her she felt safe for the first time during a seizure. She knew that Matt was a gentle flirt and that he liked peas. She knew that Josh and Jake were the jokers of the pack, but inseparable. She knew Nate was the leader of their group and that what he said went. She knew that he was curious about her, but he still accepted her. They wanted to be her friends, were going to celebrate her birthday with her.
No one had ever done that before.
They’d given her nicknames. Silly, stupid nicknames that made her feel warm inside.
No one had ever done that before either.
The overhead bell rang, and Lily jumped. She was going to be late. She left the cubicle to find the room was empty. She caught sight of her reflection in the mirror and grimaced. Her eyes were puffy from crying and the end of her nose was red. She quickly rinsed her face with cold water and dried it on a paper towel, but she still looked like she’d been crying. The overhead bell ringing again told her she’d missed registration. She closed her eyes and counted to ten. If she moved away from here, missing registration wasn’t really going to matter.
She left the toilets and headed towards the Maths department. She was going to be late if she didn’t get a move on, but it was as if she had lead weights in her shoes. She finally made it to class and when she opened the door, Mr O’Connor was in full swing. Now she was going to have to get to her seat, knowing that everyone would see her face and know she’d been crying. Not to mention she was going to be in trouble with him.
“Sorry I’m late, sir. I was—” she started to speak to Mr O’Connor as she crept towards the steps that led to her seat but he cut her off.
“Ah, Miss Adair, sit yourself down. Nethercott informed me you weren’t feeling too sharp this morning. We’re going through page forty-five when you get settled.” He turned back to the board.
She got to her
seat, keeping her head down and avoiding eye contact with anyone. She drew her books from her bag, found the correct page, and shut out anything except Mr O’Connor’s voice. She didn’t dare look at either of the twins.
By the time the bell rang for the end of class, she had a headache behind her eyes that was making her feel sick. All she needed now was to flip and have a seizure. She drew in a deep breath as she shoved her books into her bags.“Thanks for covering for me with him,” she said quietly, aware that they were still sitting in their seats.
“No worries, we covered you with Peters as well. Told him you had a headache.”
“Thank you,” she said and got up. They both stood at the same time and waited for her to move.
She bit her lip, shouldered her bag and started down the steps. She knew they were behind her, but they said nothing, and she didn’t know what else to say, either. She had to get it together though or spend the day in floods of tears.
She forced herself to smile as she turned to them outside the classroom. “See you later, and thanks again for covering for me.”
“Lily.” Josh stepped forward, his hand on the strap of his bag. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Just a headache,” she said. “I’ll see you.”
She hurried off in the direction of her French class, just making it before she was late again. She settled into her seat, sending Nate a watery smile. She just hoped that she didn’t still look as if she’d cried. Nate made no mention of her running off that morning and started up a conversation on the homework they’d had the day before. She found herself relaxing, and her headache receded as she talked to him.
“Today, you’re going to pair off into couples and discuss any subject from the list on the board. French only, no English.” Madam Fontaine started the class the way she meant it to carry on: in French.
Lily saw a few people get up and swap out chairs as they chose who they wanted to partner up with. Lily looked at Nate out of the corner of her eye and wondered if he’d choose someone else. But he was intent on the board, the overhead light reflecting on his glasses so she couldn’t see his eyes. He was wearing a black sweater over his white shirt today, and she could just see his tie at the collar of his shirt. His hands were clasped on the desk in front of him, a muscle worked along his jawline. His dark hair was pushed back from his forehead, but she knew it would soon flop forward when he ran a hand through it.