When bound for London, Mr. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Miss Darcy, and Mrs. Annesley had ridden in the first coach. Hannah Moorhouse, Anne Wright, and he rode in the second directly behind them. Mr. Darcy was thereupon a married man and Goodwin knew he had to accustom himself to their new mode of travel. But riding with mere maids sullied his also pronounced amour propre. (Goodwin had few subtle sensibilities.)
Though his supercilious demeanour intimidated Anne, Hannah was another matter. Since becoming lady-maid to Mrs. Darcy, she had become somewhat of a bother to him. She was far too garrulous and inquisitive. She inquired of his health. She inquired if he favoured the weather. The dinner. The…whatever. That his reply was seldom more than a grunt did nothing to deter her. Her loquacity, however, did not extend beyond mundane matters. She revealed not one iota of Mrs. Darcy’s privacy.
This was a trial to Goodwin, for nothing would have given him greater pleasure than to report such a transgression to Mrs. Reynolds. Had that come to pass, Hannah Moor-house would be gone from service within an hour. But that was her saving grace. Her discretion was compleat about the Darcys and their doings. He had never learned of a single utterance that betrayed their privacy. Hence, he had forgiven her need of conversation and continued to grunt disapproval and murmur his agreement to her endless inquiries.
Goodwin was a terse, solitary soul by inclination as well as occupation. As a manservant, he knew to keep his position he could never expect to marry. That had never presented any sort of disadvantage of employment for him. He had never had much interest in women. True, he loved his mother unequivocally. He admired his aunt’s (Mrs. Reynolds) strength of mind. But the chambermaids were flighty and sometimes crude. He despised coarseness in women. He despised coarseness in men as well. He supposed he simply despised coarseness.
If he held her lady-maid as somewhat a nuisance, one might have fancied Goodwin had held additional resentment upon the intrusion of Mrs. Darcy into Mr. Darcy’s life. On the contrary, he believed Mrs. Darcy to be quite beautiful and refined. Refined, but not exactly sedate. He admired sedateness, but not nearly as much as he despised coarseness. In his mind, sedateness could be disregarded altogether when it was replaced by such unaffected charm. Moreover, she never failed to speak to him. As he was used to being regarded by women as part of the wallpaper, it was not surprising he found himself somewhat besotted with her.
This esteem had unequivocally and absolutely nothing whatever to do with the glimpse he caught of her in a soaking night-dress. Indeed, the entire matter of that little incident in Mr. Darcy’s dressing room was exceedingly unfortunate. Goodwin had been so mortified at his unpropitious entry to the bath that his heart did not return to a normal beat for days.
He and Mr. Darcy had acted alone and in concert for so long, he had quite instinctively responded to the sound of disorder. So far as Goodwin knew (and he should know better than anyone save Mr. Darcy himself), there had never, ever, been a lady in his master’s bath. Clearly, what constituted Mr. Darcy’s privacy had altered irrevocably.
They had been more than two hours leaving London behind the Darcy coach. A small, if bitter, pill to swallow was their lapse meant their coach’s trip across the West End avenues was travelled singularly. Nothing was quite so satisfying to Goodwin as the looks of awe that identical coaches in tandem incited amongst the spectating minions. It was possible their driver had similar pretensions, for he urged the horses forward more vigorously than usual, as if to overtake the first coach upon the road.
Overtake them they did.
Not halfway to Pemberley, they came upon the disabled Darcy carriage. It was immediately clear there was very serious trouble.
Until that day, the one time Goodwin had met with undue adversity was at the hands of some particularly unruly boys. They had knocked off his hat with a rock. He had actually called them “ruffians.” He had never used such a common term before, but he had been so affronted it had slipped out. Thus, the level of the affront the coachman related as had come to pass then was shocking to the point of exciting Goodwin into a fit of breathlessness. He sat in the same horrified frozen state as the elderly Mrs. Annesley. Both gaped out the window, neither daring to step upon the same ground as the perpetrators of such a barbarous act.
Goodwin was so outraged, in time he bested his breath and actually considered following Mr. Darcy in pursuit of those…those…ruffians. Those thieving, woman-stealing ruffians. However, that embarkation demanded he mount a horse (he disliked large animals, Troilus and Cressida alone were frightening) and ride it.
Was he ever to do such a thing, then would have been the occasion. It was unfortunate there was no other saddle, for there were four women (including that young Hannah woman) there to witness his heroics—his leaping upon a steed and galloping off to assist Mr. Darcy. Had there been a saddle, he would have done it. Indisputably.
The opportunity to aid Mr. Darcy in saving Mrs. Darcy was dearer than any other duty he could imagine.
Goodwin never doubted that Mr. Darcy would find success. Mr. Darcy would never allow anything to happen to Mrs. Darcy. Mr. Darcy would overtake those men and demand they unhand her. They would do so immediately and with apology. (This notion revealed that Goodwin kept in a locked box under his bed several well-read books that some might disparage as banal.) Mr. Darcy would return with Mrs. Darcy sitting in front of him upon his saddle, her hair, perchance, in slight disarray.
However, it was not to be. Their aborted party sat upon the road for hours awaiting the valorous return.
Mr. Darcy, of course, did return with Mrs. Darcy. There was no question of him ever returning without her. However, it was not the glorious and romantic return Goodwin had envisioned. She was injured. Clearly, she had been wounded egregiously. Very egregiously. This was not how things should be, Goodwin thought to himself as they made haste for Pemberley.
This was not how things should be.
Although they made on fast, the ride to Pemberley seemed like an eternity. Urging them ever faster, Mr. Darcy’s incessant beating the roof of the coach with his walking stick further exacerbated everyone’s shattered nerves.
He had climbed into the repaired carriage with Elizabeth in his arms and wrapped his jacket about her. The other three women sat across aghast. Hannah could not clearly see Elizabeth’s bruised and scratched face, but her feet were bare and bleeding. She spread the lap rug over them.
Georgiana dared bid, “Pray, is she all right?”
He shook off her questions, keeping Elizabeth’s face to his neck. One of her arms was about him, the other gripped tightly to his lapel. Although he kissed her gently upon the forehead and whispered reassurances to her as they strove headlong for Pemberley, no one else uttered a word.
They broke post but once, the horses exchanged in less than a minute. Thus when they finally reached the courtyard of home, even the new team was in shivering exhaustion. Howbeit no man was more solicitous of his horses, Darcy took no notice of their near collapse. He had no thought but to get Elizabeth into the house.
Though several footmen ran to open it, he kicked back the coach door before one could. As the master was not of a mind to have his door opened for him, not one suggested they help him carry his wife. She protested she could walk, yet he would not put her down. Lest she be attacked before reaching the safety of Pemberley’s walls, he made a dash with her to the house, taking the steps two at a time.
Without being told, Hannah knew to prepare Elizabeth her bath and ran ahead calling loudly for hot water. She slowed a step, realising she had broken the absolute rule of never raising a voice in Pemberley and expected reproach. There was none, for Mrs. Reynolds trailed Darcy as he took the stairs with Elizabeth still in his arms. Two candle-wielding servants hustling to light the way overtook both.
Once to their bed, Elizabeth finally released her hold upon him. Nevertheless, he waited until they were alone to unfurl her from his coat. He could see the swollen bruises upon the side of her face and scratches upo
n her neck. Her lip was swollen and bore a deep cut. Taking out his pocket square, he dabbed at the blood on her lip. She winced.
He called for Mrs. Reynolds hovering at the door and issued orders for the physician to be called.
“No,” Elizabeth interrupted, “No.”
He told her she must be seen.
She repeated, “No. I will not be seen.”
Tears welled in her eyes, hence, he did not have the wherewithal to insist.
The notion of a doctor deflected, she attempted to rise, insisting, “I must bathe.”
Understanding that compulsion full well, he, however, endeavoured to keep her still, assuring her it was being drawn even then. That reminded her others were about, and, if she did not want the doctor to inspect her injuries, she most certainly did not want to see anxious faces darting inquiring looks in her direction. Indeed, she bid him tell Hannah to take leave once her bath was in ready. That was done expeditiously, for he thought that it was just as well if Hannah did not tend her lady.
He could sponge Elizabeth himself and inspect her injuries both thoroughly and in private. He withdrew his waistcoat, wadded it in a loose ball and threw it toward the corner. Then returning to fetch her, he rolled up his sleeves as if preparing for a particularly difficult duty. Which it would be. He knew if she was able to bear it to happen, he must be strong enough to witness the result.
When he sat her in the tub, she gasped, the hot water stinging the long red scratching welts that streaked her thighs. It was just with the sternest of wills that he could bring himself to look at them. Hence, whilst murmuring words of love to her, he silently tortured himself with recriminations.
As a man with considerable conceit of his own understanding of humanity’s shortcomings, he was incredulous that he had been duped by such scurrilous trickery. How could he have kept the brother of a man he beat from service still in his employ? Of course, there would be bad blood. Mr. Rhymes should have dismissed them both. Had he allowed his overseer or the bailiff to see to the matter, as he should have in the first place, instead of taking it upon himself to…
He made himself cease. Self-recriminations were of no particular help to her reparation that he knew. Hence, he denied himself additional mea culpas. His mission was to see to his wife.
Not noting a wound that needed binding, he dried and gowned her, then carried her to the bed, covering her with the bedclothes. Outwardly, she appeared but to be bruised. He sat heavily upon the bed, his head in his hands, awash with relief.
But quickly, relief that her body was not mortally wounded was replaced by the memory at just what outrage had been perpetrated against her.
Telling her he should not be gone but a moment, he rose to seek the solitude of his own dressing room. There, suddenly very weary, he splashed water upon his face in vain attempt to restore his flagging strength. Before that day, the only death he had ever witnessed was the gentle passing of his father. Never had he seen a man killed. From that day forward, he would have to live with the knowledge that he had taken three lives. He had slain them without remorse.
That had not been a thought until he looked down at the water in the basin. It was tinged pink. He gave a silent prayer of thanksgiving it was not Elizabeth’s blood he washed from his person.
Looking at himself in the pier glass, he felt not a twinge of regret. Awash yet with rage, his singular wish was that there were three more to kill.
He sank heavily onto a bench, hoping to find enough energy to remove his blood-bedecked shirt, whereupon he heard Goodwin at the door. (Thenceforward of his inopportune intrusion, Goodwin knocked before entering Mr. Darcy’s dressing room.) Drawing his shirt off over his head, he hastily wiped his face and neck clean of any remnants of spattered blood with it.
Thereupon, he thrust the garment into Goodwin’s hands through a mere crack in the door and silently motioned him away. Appalled at the state of the shirt and affronted to have it unceremoniously dumped in his hands, Goodwin looked with repugnance upon it, for he reckoned whose blood it was. Hence, he held the vile garment from his person with a thumb and forefinger and carried it off. Darcy tugged off his own boots, donned a fresh shirt, and then went back to Elizabeth. However, before he lay down upon the bed next to her, he released the tasselled rope cord holding back the baldachin that draped from the canopy. The soft folds of glistening fabric encapsulated their bed.
He was uncertain what she might need of him just then. He would have done anything, gone anywhere, brought her anything. He simply did not know the extent of her discomposure. She had allowed him to help her bathe, but otherwise she refused to be attended. A denial of the physician’s ministrations was not unexpected. But refusing Hannah’s was unprecedented.
He thought that if she would but allow him to hold her safely in his arms, he would be unable ever to let her go.
She had been lying upon her back, her arm across her face but she removed it as he sat beside her. Afraid to touch her face, he finally reached out and stroked her neck with the back of his fingers.
“Pray, if I take care, may I hold you?”
She nodded her head and pressed her face against his chest as he kissed the top of her head.
His lips imbedded amidst her tresses, he beseeched her, “How can you ever forgive me? I know I shall never be able to forgive myself for allowing this to happen…”
Reaching out, she pressed her fingertips to his lips, effectively shushing such entreaties.
“Where in this is your part? The fault is not with you—no one could have known that danger was about.”
“But Lizzy, I should never have left you.”
Telling him what she knew he feared but dare not ask, she said, “He did not defile me and my bruises shall heal. It was you, husband, who rescued me from them.”
The serrying of her body against his relieved him of the necessity of hiding his relief. True, he had not wanted to inquire if Reed had penetrated her (the ogre’s intentions were flagrantly exposed), lest she believe if the man had, her husband would find his own insult. He hoped himself most concerned for the degradation she, alone would feel. Nevertheless, when she told him that she had not been violated, he could not say unequivocally that the relief he felt was for her alone.
In time, he thought he might consider why it should be that the woman absorbs the assault and the husband somehow believes himself the affronted party.
He started to speak again, but held his tongue and stroked her hair instead. Her shoulders began to shake and he knew she was crying.
“Do not think of it,” he bid her, knowing even then that was not possible.
Putting his fingers under her chin, he endeavoured to get her to look at him, but she hid her face as if ashamed.
“But shall you ever desire me again?”
“Lizzy, how could you even suggest…” he was speechless.
She hesitated, then spoke, not looking at him yet, “I fear each time you look upon me you will recollect…what you saw.”
It was true that vision was seared now and forevermore into his memory, however, it just made him want to hold her more dearly. Softly, he took her face in his hand and turned it back to his.
“Every time I look upon you, I shall see my beautiful, intrepid Elizabeth and nothing more.”
“Perhaps we are both beyond reason at this moment.”
Then, as if in reassurance of that, she bid the astounding.
She did not cry again, but her voice began to quaver as she said, “I want you. I want you inside me. I want that man erased from me…I want you in me now.”
With a strength that defied the extent of beating she had undergone, she gripped his shirt in her fists, cleaving against his chest. Having been frightfully reluctant even to lie next to her, the ferocity of her desire took him especially unawares. That and that she desired him at that moment at all. Had she never wanted to be touched again, he thought he would have understood. It was the first time he had ever had to rise to the occasion, so
to speak, for he truly did not feel arousal. He felt exhausted, angry, guilt-ridden, horrified, and, yes, even frightened. Once she was safe, the wrenching fear he had felt for her had overtaken him.
No, he was not aroused. Nevertheless, he could be. He realised that when he felt her hands upon his body, urgently seeking which caress or stroke would bring the fever to his blood. So impelling was her touch, he cast everything else from his mind and he let himself think of nothing but his love of her. She needed his reassurance then, not the next day nor the day after. Then.
It was an unusually warm night, but he would not open the windows nor draw back the heavy drape that surrounded the bed. No breeze reached them. The air was humid and still in the bedchamber. Although there was a slight breeze in the air, they suffered the heat rather than open themselves to the night.
By morning, her gown and his shirt were drenched in shared perspiration, for neither allowed the other to leave their embrace.
Eventually he betook himself from Elizabeth’s side, but it was midday before he did. When he came down, Georgiana was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. She had been sitting for hours upon a bench in the corridor waiting to hear his footsteps.
It was not until he saw her that he was reminded what trauma she had endured. Not entirely certain it true, he, nevertheless, answered her anxious enquiry that Elizabeth was well. Georgiana was insistent he heard the entire history of the event.
“What extraordinary bravery! Not only did Elizabeth put herself betwixt us and the highwaymen, she fought them! We were all struck with terror, but Elizabeth would not have it,” she shook her head incredulously.
She wanted to talk more about it, but he could not bear to relive it so soon and shook his head.
“Yes, we were all terrified, Georgiana.”
She looked at him a little quizzically. She had thought it probable, however bravely she behaved, that Elizabeth had been frightened. Not until that moment had she considered that her imperturbable brother was. Thereupon, she ascended the stairs and repaired to her room. No one knew she spent much of the next few days furiously scribbling once again in her journal.
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