BEST PRACTICE
JA ARMSTRONG
© Copyright 2017 J.A. Armstrong Books
All Rights Reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced without permission.
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER ONE
“Has Mommy been slipping her Gatorade into your bottle?” Tess asked her son. She wrinkled her nose at the diaper in her hand and tossed it into the pail. Tess patted Ethan’s fanny and fastened his clean diaper. As soon as she lifted him, he started to giggle. “What’s so funny?” she asked him playfully. He started to shake with laughter. “I see. That nuclear waste you’ve been producing is funny, huh?”
“Who’s producing nuclear waste?” Rebecca asked.
Tess turned to the sound of her mother-in-law’s voice. “Your grandson. He’s just like his Mommy. Everything is green.” She kissed Ethan’s cheek and he laughed some more. “Not that I’m not happy to see you,” Tess said. “But what are you doing here?”
Brooke and Tess’s eleven-year-old twins had a half-day of school, and Brooke’s parents had taken them for the weekend. It was only four o’clock.
“The kids wanted to go fishing,” Rebecca explained. “Brad took them down to the pond.”
Tess chuckled. She’d learned that Rebecca was not one for baiting a hook. It wasn’t Tess’s favorite endeavor either. Growing up in the middle of two brothers, Tess had learned to tough it out with many things. Having been a single mom for the first eight years of the twins’ lives, Tess had often found herself grateful for that. She was accustomed to gross things—things like putting a worm on a hook. What amused her about Rebecca was the fact that her mother-in-law had spent years in an operating room. Somehow, it seemed to Tess that putting people back together would trump the gross-out factor of baiting a hook.
“Escaping the worms?” Tess teased.
Rebecca shuddered. “It’s disgusting. I don’t even want to think about it.”
“Be glad you missed that last diaper.”
Tess led Rebecca down the stairs and into the living room. She placed Ethan on a play mat at the center of the room, took a seat on the couch and stretched her legs across it with a sigh.
“Tired?” Rebecca asked.
“A little,” Tess admitted. “Nothing out of the ordinary. Brooke’s been at the hospital more than usual this week.”
“She mentioned that.”
Rebecca had spoken with Brooke the day before after picking up the twins from school. Brooke and Tess had planned to take a short trip—just a night away at an inn a few towns over. Rebecca had been surprised when Brooke shared that the couple had decided to make it a “staycation” and spend the weekend at home with Ethan.
“Tess, are you sure that you don’t want us to take Ethan tonight? One of us can bring him back in tomorrow or Sunday. You and Brooke haven’t had much time alone in months.”
Tess smiled gratefully. God knows that’s the truth. “I’m sure.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Is this your idea or is it Brooke’s request?”
“Neither,” Tess replied. “You’re right; we haven’t had much alone time since Ethan’s arrival. Ethan is sleeping through the night. It will be nice for Brooke and I to have some quiet time with Ethan. Honestly, I am looking forward to it. I think Brooke is too. We have this beautiful house and it seems like we hardly ever get to enjoy it together. And, the kids have been on pins and needles about staying with you this weekend.”
Rebecca understood. “A little break from the tireless two-some?”
Tess laughed. “They’ll be glad to have your undivided attention the next two days without any crying, diapers or babies needing to be fed.”
“That green monster rearing its ugly head lately?” Rebecca guessed.
“It’s not that bad,” Tess said honestly. “I think Dani and Davey get more jealous of each other than they do Ethan. That’s where the problem usually lies.”
“They are competitive.”
“They are, and that includes competing for their little brother’s attention.”
Tess chuckled when Ethan tipped over on his mat. He rolled over and started to fuss when he couldn’t lift himself. She shook her head and made her way to him. “Now, what happened here?” Tess asked the baby. Ethan let out a few indiscernible syllables. Tess shook her head and lifted him. She picked up the toy he had been holding and brought him back to the sofa to sit on her lap.
“He’s determined,” Rebecca observed.
“That’s an understatement. He’s used to the twins coaxing him,” Tess said. “I think Davey is convinced he’ll have his brother walking by the time school gets out next week.”
Rebecca laughed. “That’d be a neat trick.”
“No kidding.” Tess kissed Ethan’s head. “Although, not much would surprise me.”
“Are your parents still planning on making the trip up here next weekend?”
Tess sighed. “That’s the plan.”
“Worried?”
“More like I’m trying to prepare.”
“Your mother must be excited.”
Tess shrugged. Rebecca noticed that Tess pulled Ethan closer. “As excited as she gets,” Tess replied dryly.
Rebecca sighed inwardly. In many ways, she had grown closer to Tess over the last few years than she was to Brooke. She adored Tess. While there were times Rebecca played a motherly role in Tess’s life, she and Tess had come to share a special friendship—a friendship of equals. One thing Rebecca did know, little hurt Tess as much as her mother’s judgments.
Mary and Chris Sinclair had visited two weeks after Ethan’s birth. From Rebecca’s perspective thing had seemed to go well. It was unusual for Tess not to confide in her mother-in-law. She had been surprised when Brooke shared a week later that Tess’s mother had made a few comments about the new dynamic in their family that she was certain had upset Tess. As Brooke told her mother then, Tess made no mention of it. Tess pretended that all was well—Brooke was sure for her benefit. Rebecca decided to let sleeping dogs lie. She had never approached the subject with Tess. She did know that when Brooke had tried to gently raise it, Tess had dismissed it.
“Tess?”
Tess sighed. “I know it’s terrible.”
“What’s that?” Rebecca wondered.
Tess offered her mother-in-law a sad smile. “It shouldn’t be so much work,” she said. “Dealing with my mother.” Tess bounced Ethan on her knee and continued with a heavy sigh. “It’s just—I keep hoping that she’ll see my life and realize how good it is. I don’t know; accept it?”
“Tess, can I say something?”
“I don’t know; what is it?” she joked.
“I’m going to tell you something that you already know. Whatever your mother’s issues are with your decisions in life, they are not about you.”
“It sure feels that way.”
“I understand.” Rebecca smiled. “My mother was not the most supportive of my decisions either.”
Tess was genuinely surprised at Rebecca’s revelation and curious. “Your decisions? Mom, you were a successful surgeon married to a renowned surgeon. What on earth could anyone take issue with?”
“You’d be surprised. Brooke remembers her grandmother as a kind, gentle woman, and she was both those things. She was incredibly nurturing when I was a child, just like she was with Brooke. Maybe that’s what drove her reservations and concerns about my life
.”
“How so?”
“Well, she was supportive when I went to college and medical school. God knows, she loved Brad. And, when Brooke came? Well, she thought that Brooke had hung the moon.”
“But?”
“Well, I think she expected that once Brooke came everything else in my life would stop.”
“You mean that you would give up medicine.”
“That, and that I would add a few more grandchildren to the equation.”
Tess nodded.
“She couldn’t understand my desire to keep practicing.” Rebecca shrugged. “I loved being with Brooke. Over time, I realized that I was missing more than I cared to with her. But, I never regretted my career. Believe me; she was none too thrilled when I left Brad and moved east.”
“Out of curiosity, why did you choose the east coast? Not that I am complaining, mind you.”
“I needed distance. Maybe more so from my mother than from Brad. I needed to define my life in a new way. Honestly? I was concerned that her displeasure with me might filter down to Brooke. She wouldn’t have intended to cause Brooke stress or pain. I couldn’t chance that either.”
Tess nodded. Ethan reached for her hair and began to twirl it. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “Somebody’s getting tired.” She looked across the room at Rebecca and smiled. “Does Brooke know? About your mom?”
Rebecca shook her head. “I didn’t see any reason to spoil her impressions of her grandmother.”
“Did she ever come to terms with it? Your move, I mean?”
“Hard to say,” Rebecca replied. “She learned to keep her opinions to herself. I doubt that she ever came to believe I had made the right decisions. She came from a different time, Tess. It took me years to learn to let go of her ideas and some of her observations. Sometimes they still ring in my ear. So, I understand how you feel.”
“There’s one difference between your story and mine,” Tess said.
“What’s that?”
“Your mother had the sense to control her tongue in front of Brooke.”
Rebecca nodded. “She did.”
Tess shook her head. “That’s what worries me, and not just for the kids.”
“Brooke can handle your mom,” Rebecca said.
Tess met Rebecca’s gaze with doubtful eyes. “On the outside? Yeah, she can.”
“She worries about you.”
“I know,” Tess replied. “But, Mom it hurts her just as much. You and I both know that she couldn’t love Dani and Davey more if she had been the one to give birth to them.”
“I do, just like you love Ethan.”
Tess looked down at her son and smiled. “I’m not sure my mother will ever be able to accept our family as it is, much less love our family as it is.”
Rebecca’s heart sank. “Don’t mistake your mother’s mind for her heart,” she advised.
“I’m not sure I know how to separate the two.”
Rebecca nodded.
“Brooke says to give her time. How much time is enough time?” Tess asked rhetorically. “The kids love my parents. I love my parents. That doesn’t mean we have a healthy relationship.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“I guess we’ll see how this visit goes.”
“Tess, did she say something?”
Tess sighed. “Directly? No. Sometimes what she doesn’t say tells me as much as what she does say. I might be able to handle that. I know Brooke can feel it, and the twins aren’t toddlers anymore. They’re eleven. They can read between the lines far more than my mother gives them credit for. That’s only going to become more apparent as time rolls on. I don’t know. Give her time? Brooke and I have been together for more than three years now. She’s seen us buy this house, get married, and have Ethan. I’m not sure what more she needs to see to understand that this is my family. It’s like she is always waiting for the hammer to drop on my life and crush it to pieces.”
“Do you think she doesn’t trust Brooke?”
Tess shook her head. “I think she doesn’t trust life—at least, she doesn’t trust that my life is durable; meaning my marriage to Brooke.”
“Because Brooke is a woman?”
“I used to think that’s what it was,” Tess said. “I’m not so sure anymore. She loves Brooke even if she doesn’t want to admit it.”
Rebecca grinned. Brooke was nothing if not charming, and it didn’t take eyes to see and feel how much Brooke loved her family. She was curious what Tess was thinking.
Tess shrugged. “She does love Brooke. She had this idea in her head about what our lives were going to look like. I think she held onto that so tightly for so long that she just can’t picture anything else—even if it’s staring her in the face. Maybe that’s what she needed to do to cope with David’s death. Somehow, this idea that we would be this picturesque family became her anchor.” Tess sighed again. “Maybe sometimes people never heal,” she offered. “I can understand that. I can’t let her pain infect my children or Brooke.”
“And, what about you?”
“I can’t imagine losing a child,” Tess said. “I’m not sure how a person survives that loss. The thought of losing you or my parents—the thought of losing Brooke terrifies me. I know what that feels like; losing someone you love that’s part of your everyday life. But, a child?” Tess visibly shuddered and kissed Ethan. “It’s unimaginable. The one thing I do know is that you have to concentrate on the living part of life. Losing David taught me that. Gary was still little. He was confused. My mother was emotionally absent for a couple of years. My father was at a loss, just trying to hold everything together. It was different for me,” Tess said. “David wasn’t just my big brother; he was my best friend.”
Rebecca had heard Tess talk about her older brother many times; never quite the way she was now. As a surgeon, Rebecca had seen tragedy more times than she cared to recall. She’d witnessed families abruptly changed and uprooted by an unexpected tragedy. Tess possessed an emotional wisdom that impressed Rebecca. Rebecca understood that Tess desired be present for her children and Brooke. She couldn’t help but muse every so often that Tess would make an excellent doctor or perhaps a teacher. Loss at a young age had taught Tess about life. She listened to Tess as Tess continued her thought, thinking how grateful she was that Brooke had found someone so honest and loving to share her life with.
“He was my best friend. I don’t know. I don’t think he tried to protect me the same way he did my parents.”
Rebecca was curious. She tipped her head with her unspoken question.
“He never told them that he hated the color blue. I remember my mom bought him this blue polo shirt. David would cringe every time he put it on. It reminded him of the hospital. Back then, everyone wore blue,” Tess explained. “There were no nurses in colorful tops with characters on them. He hated blue. Now and again, he would put on that shirt to go to school—for her. I know it was for her. He never told them that he was scared. He was—for a long time, he was. Not so much about dying, though. It was more about going through another procedure, another test. I think that’s what really wore him down,” Tess said. “He wanted to be at home. He wanted to be outside. At the end? He’d accepted the outcome long before any of us had. It’s like he just knew. I think he tried to tell my parents that. To be honest, I was angry with them for a long time. He wanted to come home. They needed to keep trying.” Tess let out a heavy sigh. “I understand that now. My father—I think he accepted the truth. My mother? I’m not sure she’s ever mourned. I think she poured all that sadness into creating some crazy idea about us having the perfect family; at least, having the perfect family to anyone looking in. It’s like her shield. Funny how a shield can become a weapon.”
“Loss does funny things to people.”
Tess nodded. She took a deep breath and decided a change of subject was in order. “How about I put this little monkey down and we have a cup of coffee?”
Rebecca understood Tess’s need
for a shift in their dialogue. “Sounds like a plan to me. I have a feeling I might need the jolt for when Brad gets home with the kids.”
Tess laughed. She imagined that the twins would be wired for sound when they got home. Brad tended to indulge their love of sugar. In fact, Brooke’s father was famous for indulging their every whim. He reminded Tess a great deal of her grandfather growing up. Brad and Rebecca Campbell thrived on being part of Brooke’s life—all of it. It simultaneously made Tess’s heart sing and ache.
“I’ll get the coffee started,” Rebecca offered.
Tess nodded her thanks and headed to the stairs with Ethan.
Rebecca looked back and sighed. Oh, Tess. I wish there were some way to make that all go away for you.
***
Brooke shuffled some files on her desk. She had a few things she wanted to wrap up before heading home. The problem she currently faced was an inability to concentrate on anything. The week had gotten away from her somehow. That wasn’t uncommon. She chuckled at the thought. She’d delivered five babies in the last forty-eight hours; two of which she had not expected to see for at least another week. She’d learned recently that babies indeed had a mind and personality all their own. And, Brooke had come to believe that personality started before they saw the light of day. Her eyes shut for a moment. When they opened, they landed on a picture on her desk. She reached out and picked it up. Tess. Brooke missed her wife. She wondered if Tess could ever conceive how much Brooke missed her when they were apart.
“Fuck it,” Brooke said. She set the picture back in its place and tidied up the pile on her desk. “Home it is.”
“Hey,” Rachel poked her head into Brooke’s office. “Leaving?”
Brooke smiled. “I was going to. Do you need something?”
“No. I was wondering what you and Tess had planned tomorrow.”
“Nothing,” Brooke said. “Just relaxing for the day. Dani and Davey will be home on Sunday. Why? What’s going on?”
Rachel rubbed her eyes and shook her head.
“Rach?”
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