***
“Aunt Tess?” Eli tugged on Tess’s shirt. She turned and smiled at him. “Can I stay?”
“You are going to stay,” Tess assured him. “You are going to stay with us for a little bit.”
“Can I play with Dani?”
Tess nodded. “Yes, sweetheart; you can. We’re going to go see Dani and Davey and Grandma and Grandpa C. in a little while.”
Eli brightened. “Aunt Tess?”
“Yes, sweetie?”
“Can you play with me?”
Tess put her hand on Eli’s head. Brooke had taken Ethan to put him down for a nap. “Sure we can. What did you want to play?”
“Drums!”
Tess forced herself not to roll her eyes. Can’t it ever be blocks or Go Fish or something a little less noisy? She offered him her hand. “You’ll have to show me how,” she said. “That’s Auntie Brooke and Dani’s specialty.”
“You can play too,” he told her earnestly.
Oh, that would be something to hear. Tess chuckled. “Well, why don’t we go downstairs and you can show me how well you play?”
Eli nodded happily.
Drums. Of all the hobbies these kids could have chosen—drums.
***
Brooke noticed that Tess’s phone was moving across the kitchen counter. She grabbed hold of it. Oh, boy. She picked it up and answered, sticking a finger in her ear to quell the banging from below. Poor Tess.
“Hello?”
“Brooke?” Chris Sinclair’s voice came over the line.
“Yep, it’s me. Just a little hard to hear,” she explained. “Eli is downstairs with Tess playing on the drum set. I’ll go get her.”
“Actually,” he started. “Maybe it’s better if I talk to you.”
Brooke took a deep breath. This cannot be good. Brooke decided to step outside onto the back deck so she could hear her father-in-law clearly. “Sorry,” she apologized. “I just needed to get some quiet. What’s going on?”
Chris sighed. “Brooke,” he hesitated.
“Chris, what’s going on?”
“I’m afraid we have to cancel next weekend. Well, we have to postpone it.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Not really,” he admitted.
Brooke suddenly felt ill. “What’s wrong?”
“We were hoping,” his thoughts trailed off.
“Chris?”
“Mary has breast cancer, Brooke.”
Brooke closed her eyes. Shit. “How bad?”
“Stage three,” he replied.
Shit. “What’s the plan?” Brooke fell into doctor mode.
“She’s opted for a double mastectomy,” he said. “Brooke, they’re taking her in on Wednesday. They don’t want to wait.”
Brooke took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Radiation?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Look, Chris, I know it probably feels like this is… Well, treatment is much better than it was even a few years ago. It’s not just survivable. It’s beatable.”
“I know,” he said. “I just wish I knew how to make it better.”
Brooke sighed. “Do you want me to talk to Tess?”
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
Brooke wasn’t at all sure what to think. She wasn’t certain how Tess was going to react. The news on its face alone was awful. This was just about the worst timing imaginable to confront it. Brooke suspected that Tess would want to fly down to see her mother. Shit. “I’ll talk to her and have her call you.”
“Brooke, I can…”
“You let me talk to Tess,” Brooke said. “How is Mary holding up?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure,” he said. “She’s quiet. She hasn’t said much at all—kind of going about things like nothing has changed.”
Chris’s reply didn’t surprise Brooke. “How about you?”
“Scared to death,” he admitted.
“I can imagine.” It was true. Brooke could imagine. She would be beside herself if it were her mother or Tess facing that diagnosis. “I’ll talk to Tess,” she repeated. “Listen, if you need anything—I mean anything—either of you; you call us. I mean it, Chris—anything.”
Chris Sinclair smiled as he listened to Brooke. He’d grown to have great affection for his daughter’s wife. Brooke was honest and no-nonsense. He appreciated that. And, she adored Tess and the twins. That had been evident to him from their first meeting. He had to give Brooke credit; Mary had not always been as welcoming to her. Brooke seemed to take it in stride; at least as much as anyone could. Chris was sure it bothered his daughter-in-law. He also knew that Brooke would protect Tess any way she could. “I appreciate that,” he finally replied.
“I’ll have her call.”
“Brooke?”
“Yes?”
“What about you?”
“Me?”
“Is everything okay there?” he inquired.
Everything was better than okay—chaotic, but okay. This news—Brooke was sure—would rock Tess to her core regardless of the ultimate outcome. There was so much still unsaid and so much underlying hurt between Tess and her mother. Brooke knew that Tess would be reluctant to leave Brooke holding down the fort with a house full of kids and work to navigate. I am going to need the cavalry. “We’re all good,” Brooke assured him.
“How’s that baby?” he asked.
Brooke smiled. Chris’s voice had a sudden lilt. “He’s great,” she beamed with pride.
“I’ll bet he’s getting big.”
“He is,” Brooke said. “He loves to laugh.”
“Tess was like that,” Chris commented. “She laughed all the time. I seem to remember her finding food funny—whether it was going in or coming out,” he said.
Brooke laughed. Ah-ha! The truth comes out.
“We were looking forward to seeing him—all of you.”
Brooke held back a sigh. “We’ll figure something out,” she said, and she meant it.
“I should let you go.”
“Chris, remember—anything at all.”
“Thanks.”
Brooke hung up the call. She closed her eyes, sucked in a long breath and held it for a minute. How do I tell her?
***
Tess was not so secretly relieved when Eli lost interest in the drums. She found herself snickering at the realization that the noise he had been creating became too much even for him. He’d asked if he could watch a movie, and Tess had settled him in front of one of her old favorites, The Sword in the Stone. She grabbed him a juice box and kissed him on the head before going in search of Brooke.
It didn’t surprise Tess to see Brooke sitting on the deck. She often thought it was a good thing that Ethan’s room and the family room were two floors apart. Amid Dani’s drumming, Davey’s new found interest in the piano, video games, and pre-teen sleepovers, the noise level in the Campbell-Sinclair home could easily reach a painful decibel level. She stood behind the sliding glass door studying Brooke at a distance. Brooke’s eyes were closed and her head was tilted toward the sky. Tess had learned to read Brooke’s expressions. The corner of her eyes pulled tightly into creases as if she were concentrating on something—trying to bring it into focus. Now, what is that about? Tess stepped through the door. “Brooke?”
Brooke steadied her breathing and opened her eyes slowly.
“Uh-oh. Don’t tell me? You have to go on-call.”
Brooke shook her head and held out her hand. “I was going to come find you in a minute.”
“What’s going on?” Tess began to grow concerned.
Brooke pulled Tess to sit in her lap.
“You left your phone on the table,” Brooke explained.
“Okay?”
“Your dad called while you were downstairs.”
“Okay?”
“Tess…”
“What?”
“He called to tell me that they needed to postpone the trip.” Brooke felt Tess stiffen. “T
ess…”
Tess let out a caustic chuckle. “What now?” she asked. “She can’t even…”
“Tess,” Brooke directed Tess to look at her.
Tess’s heart dropped. She was positive she had never seen the look in Brooke’s eyes that greeted her. “What is going on?” she asked.
“It is your mom, but it’s not what you’re thinking.”
“I’m not sure what to think.”
“Tess, your mom…”
“Brooke, what?”
“Your mom was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this week.” There, it’s out.
Tess froze. Her eyes fell to the ground and closed.
“Tess,” Brooke gentled her voice. “Honey, look at me.” Reluctantly, Tess complied. Brooke smiled. “They’re going to do surgery this coming week. That’s why they need to postpone.”
“How bad?” Tess wanted to know.
“I didn’t ask all the details,” Brooke replied. “It’s stage three, but operable.”
Tess’s eyes closed again.
“Honey, chances are she will beat this.”
“You don’t know that,” Tess said.
No, I don’t. “No,” Brooke agreed. “But I believe that.”
Tess shook her head. She wasn’t sure what she felt other than something akin to being punched in the stomach. She could feel a slight trembling in her hands. She’d lost her brother to cancer. The thought of losing her mother—
“Tess.” Brooke felt Tess’s body shaking. “Talk to me.”
Tess offered Brooke a smile laced with sadness and fear. “I don’t know what to say,” she confessed. “I don’t even know what to think. Brooke, I… Things have been so…”
“I think you should call your dad.”
Tess’s eyes closed again. “What do I say?”
“Start with hello and how are you holding up,” Brooke suggested.
“Brooke…”
Brooke pulled Tess against her. “No matter what, we’ll get through it.”
We will. Will Mom?
“It’s not us I’m worried about.”
“I know.” Brooke kissed Tess on the temple. “Why don’t you call him?”
“In a minute,” Tess said. “I just need a minute.”
Brooke tightened her hold on her wife. “You can have as many minutes as you need.”
Tess held on gratefully. She chuckled softly. “Might want to be careful what you offer, love.”
Brooke cuddled as close as she could. As long as you need, Tess.
***
Tess put her phone down on the counter and let her face fall into her hands. “What am I supposed to do?”
Brooke placed her hands on Tess’s shoulders. “Fly down there.”
Tess’s head snapped up. “What? I can’t fly down there and leave you with four kids to handle.”
“Yes, you can. I won’t break any of them, at least, not permanently.”
Tess chuckled despite the stress. Brooke always knew how to lighten her spirits. That was a unique asset to falling in love with your best friend. “Brooke… I don’t know.”
“Well, you don’t have to decide now.”
Tess looked at Brooke gratefully.
“What do you say we head out a little early once Ethan wakes up?” Brooke suggested.
Tess narrowed her gaze suspiciously. “What are you up to?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
“Nothing,” Brooke replied. “I just thought since it’s a beautiful day out, maybe we could take Ethan and Eli and go for a walk down by the water. You know, Eli loves that—seeing the boats and stuff.”
And, so do I. Tess leaned in and kissed Brooke’s cheek. “I think that sounds great.”
“Then we can meet Mom and Dad down there for dinner.”
Tess nodded.
“Tess? Are you okay?”
“No,” Tess answered honestly. “Not even a little bit.” She smiled. “But I will be.”
***
Tess was quiet throughout dinner. She had tried to listen to the stories that Davey and Dani were prattling on and on about. They were both delighted with the boat trip their grandparents had taken them on. As always, Eli was fascinated by anything the twins did, and Tess could tell that Brooke was happy to see the twins. Ethan had fallen asleep on Brooke’s shoulder during dessert. Tess had tuned out to everything, twirling a spoon in her coffee as her thoughts spun. She was startled by a hand on her arm.
“Tess?” Rebecca called to her gently.
Tess looked up and smiled.
“How about a walk?” Rebecca suggested. Tess nodded. “We’re going to excuse ourselves for a minute,” Rebecca announced to the table.
“Can I come?” Dani asked.
“Not this time,” Rebecca replied gently. She turned to Brooke. “We’ll meet you all down by the dock.” Brooke nodded her understanding.
Tess remained silent as she and Rebecca walked along the shop fronts of Derby Street. She knew that Brooke had filled Rebecca and Brad in about her mother’s surgery and diagnosis. She wasn’t at all sure what to say. She wasn’t even sure what she felt.
“Beautiful evening,” Rebecca commented.
Tess nodded.
“How are you doing?” Rebecca asked with concern.
Tess looked at the sky, inhaling the warm air and imploring the stars for an answer. She didn’t have one. She replied truthfully. “I don’t know how to answer that.”
“I understand. Did you talk to your mother?”
“For a minute.” Tess shook her head and chuckled. “She’s forbidding me to come down there.”
Rebecca nodded. “I’m not surprised.”
“Me neither,” Tess said sadly.
“You should go.”
“That’s what Brooke says. If she doesn’t want me there…”
“Oh, I’ll bet she wants you there.”
“Not according to her. God knows, my mother is a mystery to me, but…”
“I think she doesn’t want you to see her vulnerable.”
Tess sighed. Is that it? “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”
“What does your gut say?”
Tess looked at Rebecca helplessly. “Can I be honest?”
“You know that you can.”
“I don’t know, Mom. I know that I am supposed to feel something. I do; it’s just that I’m not sure what it is. Confused? Scared? I don’t…”
Rebecca placed her arm around Tess’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “You don’t have to know. I just want you to remember that we’re here for you—not just Brooke.”
Tess pressed back her tears. “I know.”
“Mom!” Davey came running up to his mother and grandmother.
Tess gathered her emotions and turned around to see Davey with a smile. “That would be me,” she greeted him.
“Ethan talked!”
Tess’s eyebrow shot up. She looked over Davey to see Brooke approaching.
Brooke laughed. “I’m not sure I would call it talking.”
“Yes, he did! He said Deeee!”
Tess bit her lip gently. Ethan had been full of new sounds lately. He was even beginning to string them together. She doubted that any had taken earnest form yet. But, she did not want to burst her son’s bubble either. “Did he?” she asked.
“Yeah, Mom!” Davey was beaming. “He said my name.”
Tess smiled. “I’m sure that Ethan is trying to say a lot of things,” she said, directing her gaze at a somewhat sullen Dani.
Brooke caught Dani’s expression. She handed Ethan to Tess and looked at Davey. “What do you say you and I take Eli and go watch the lights on the water while the boats come in?”
Davey nodded.
Rebecca grabbed Brad’s hand. “What do you say we join the parade?” He followed dutifully, leaving Tess and Dani with Ethan as company.
Tess looked at her daughter and smiled. I’m going in. “How was your day with Gram and Grandpa?”<
br />
Dani shrugged. “Good.”
“Want to talk about what’s bothering you?” Tess asked.
Dani shrugged. “He doesn’t like me.”
“Who doesn’t like you?” Tess pretended to be clueless.
Dani looked up at her mother and gestured to her little brother.
Tess nodded. “Oh.” She watched as Dani hung her head in defeat. “That’s not true, Dani.”
“He doesn’t laugh at me or anything.”
Tess forced herself not to laugh. Ethan was barely seven-months-old. He was a curious baby. Tess recalled Dani and Davey’s phases over the years. She remembered a time when Dani was completely obsessed with Tess’s grandmother. Davey seemed to delight in all things Tess while Dani would whine when she was forced to leave her great-grandmother’s arms. She started walking in the direction Brooke has just taken. “You know,” she began. “I remember a time when you were about Ethan’s age that you wanted almost nothing to do with me.”
Dani looked up at her mother.
“Don’t believe me, huh? It’s true. Gram would be holding you and you would be laughing and smiling. She’d hand you to me and you would whine and whimper.” Tess chuckled.
“I’m sorry.”
Tess smiled at Dani. “Well, thank you,” she said with a wink. “You don’t need to be sorry, sweetheart. It’s just how babies are. Really, it’s how people are sometimes. Ethan’s just going through a phase. For some reason, he’s latched onto your brother. Give it some time. Sooner or later you’ll be the one he wants to follow around.”
“Maybe.”
“No maybe.” Tess decided it was time to put Dani’s anxiety to rest. “When Brooke first went back to work, Ethan had an interesting reaction.”
Dani looked at her mother as they walked. “It took about a week. She came home one night and I went to hand Ethan to her and he wailed as if someone was torturing him.” Tess laughed at the memory. “The look on Brooke’s face.” She glanced down at Dani. “She was so upset. He was like that for a whole month. He just wanted me.”
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